#operationlosethisgut

Did I bounce back up? Yes.

Am I worried? Not too much.

Some fluctuation is going to be normal and I think I still had a good day althoughtbI got a little annoyed.

I am not a caloried counter but here is a days eating in pics.

The first bowl had a massive amount of veggies. Add to that 2 bags of protein chips. But the bowl was basically 2 meals. +280 extra for the chips

There were also 2 of the chocolates. +140 extra for the chocolates.

Pretty sure the edemame pack was a bit over 100. Hard to track some other stuff but mostly whole foods/home cooked.

The wrap is tuna, cottage cheese & cheese.

The beans i bought discounted sat the store so they needed to be eaten. The chocolate bowl is like a protein pudding.

I hit about 8k steps with my pokemon and pikmin bloom but I was getting what I now think was overstimulated. At a quiet park I normally love there were more people playing Frisbee golf than I have ever seen before and they were inescapable. Everything I tried to escape to, there were more groups. I obviously don't know how the Frisbee gold park works because I felt like I was always in their way.

And omg the swarms of mosquitoes. I used tick spray but not bug spray and there were biting me bad. And I had so far to walk to my car.

So I bounced to do the grocery store stuff. Didn't buy TR food, got normal healthy ish food and 1 treat item which was like fudgsicles.

And when I when home, I had my damn beans and my pudding and was good.

I think i was still dopamine seeking though because I stayed up late. And woke up early in a perverse thing but mom has a doctor appt ans I was to be off work before I need to get her up.

Perfect? No.

Decent? I think so! I also booked a massage.

But I did get some shitty feels. The swimsuit I ordered doesn't fit as I had hopes and I have a vacation in 2 weeks

Ignore my cat litter

But someday it will look amazing 👏

Set Realistic Goals Start with achievable goals like losing 1–2 pounds per week. Setting SMART

Eat a Balanced Diet Focus on whole foods—fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats.

Control Portion Sizes Even healthy foods can cause weight gain if overeaten.

Exercise Regularly Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate activity weekly, such as walking or cycling, plus 2–3 days of strength training.

Stay Hydrated Drink water throughout the day. Sometimes thirst is mistaken for hunger.

Get Enough Sleep Lack of sleep increases hunger hormones and cravings. Aim for 7–9 hours of sleep to support weight loss.

Manage Stress High stress can lead to emotional eating and belly fat.

Track Your Food and Activity Journaling or using an app helps you stay aware of what you eat and how active you are,

Avoid Liquid Calories Soda, juice, and sugary coffee add calories fast.

Some clarifying thoughts. I have essentially been thru a 2 year plateau, that started the week spme dude followed me around the grocery store.

There is an obvious connection there and I have done a lot to try to break thru. I have also been thru about a year and a half of distress with mom's illnesses.

I am trying to give myself grace for mishaps bit need to try to find a way to gently hold myself more accountable to what my goals actually are.

I think there are some factors: The solidifying relationship with marriage in the future means that I am not looking for partners, so Idk if the dude following me around the grocery store messed with that. I was raised religious, so it is possible that it sparked a really deep "don't let men look at you thing." Probably.

I am working to find the middle ground. I want to hold myself to a gentle weight loss and enjoy the process while not falling to the extreme behaviors of my past. Which isn't easy, since I am tend to black and white thinking.

I know cal counting makes me crazy. Carb counting was better but own carb is so hard to sustain and so high in fat, I am a bit adverse to that.

I know that I am likely going thru perimenopause with wild hormone fluctuations. This is likely making me hungrier. I am also working with practicing eating slower and sometimes not finishing all my food. I know that I love my sports and they tend to make me hungrier, so I am again been trying for a middle ground. I try to pack calories or carbs around my sports. The perimenopause thing seems to mean that I am just fucking exhausted all the time. I want to go to bed at 8 ans can't because mom needs to be put to bed. She is barely accepting her 10 pm bedtime.

Mostly I have been walking to reduce the likelihood of injury, of which I have had many. My steps seem higher than ever. The games I plan are intended to be a dopamine replacement.

I was all water/coffee/tea for awhile bit am currently on a diet pop kick, hoping the bubbles help the hunger.

I try to walk or bike will I am working. (Which is tough because I apparently have a HS outbreak on my keister).

I am trying to stay busy and focused on things that will put the house in order to reduce the amount of "boredom" eating and reduce the overwhelm of the house. I have been backed up with housework, acting as a 1 woman nursing home but I made great strides this weekend. It is so much laundry and my parents house has always been a clusterfuck.

I haven't been able to get myself to register for a class and I am struggling with the idea of school again. I know I need to finish before work decides to end the program, but the depression from last class was so deep I almost didn't make it out.

I am a work in progress. I hope that by writing some of this out I will be able to hit the switch to get things going again, in a gentle sustainable way. Because let me tell you, the vacation in 12 days does not say gentle and I am resisting that impulse.

It's better when I doing think about food too much. The counting stuff gets to get me so food focused I can't manage.

So things that are working- the step count and the games. High veggies. Home cooking.

I could try to add in some weighted workouts, some additional intentional cardio.

Did I wake up as 199.8?

YES

🙌😍🙌

It is my birthday week. I am doing a challenge with my birthday buddy. I am freshly relaxed from vacation. My fur babies missed me.

I returned very needy and may have fallen down a tumblr rabbit hole of fun bahahahahaa. This celibacy may be wearing on me.

I feel mentally refreshed and able to focus on developing some new patterns to work on my goals. It is really time to get things moving in the right direction.

I deserve to present the world with the beautiful person I am, not the person that I have been presenting.

130 pounds down

LEGIT

Not to brag but I walked with my weighted vest last night while playing Pikmin Bloom.

Who is the hottest queen in the world? Me.

Great job. I am so proud of you.

Now do it again.

Today was the first fantastic eating day I have had in awhile.

Am I back baby?