#disassociative

But they want people to talk to, but the hosts don't want anything to do with these people as we don't want to explain to anyone else in our lives who they are. We want a separate life that we cannot have. Idk how to get over that sometimes. Whenever we feel the pain of separation is when we feel the pain of self loathing and everything else goes topsy turvy.

I think writing it all out helps.

We have what we want. We just need to journal and find a hobby we can all agree on. Or stop arguing. Or keep hashing it out. Find a way to communicate constantly cause honestly, once we accept that we only have this one life, we want to constantly talk and at least roleplay healthily and such.

Idk where I went wrong?

We were a covert system before, undiagnosed, and now that I can go back and see the symptoms... We functioned fine. We had memory gaps, we lost it when we got pregnant and after child birth, but frankly... Before that... Our system was doing well enough so long as our meds were straightened out. We were staying grounded the majority of the time and that's the MAIN concern is just remaining grounded.

I just miss not focusing on the separation. I want to get to know everyone to avoid having meltdowns and blah (we dealt with a lot of "self sabotage" and not understanding why, etc etc).

I made some DPDR stickers if anyone is interested!

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I really think an anchor would be a great symbol for depersonalization/derealization since it's a reminder to stay grounded. I also picked the forget-me-not flowers because of a legend behind them. Check it out, it's really cute!

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😭😭😭

That world was killing me

World was killing me, disassociative

The nervous systems down

The nervous systems down, I know

The nervous systems down

The nervous systems down, I know

I can never get out of here

I don't wanna explode in fear