Jun 14
I've managed to keep my Monstera alive for over a year now. I'm so proud of myself :D
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I've managed to keep my Monstera alive for over a year now. I'm so proud of myself :D
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I got lightly bpd / annoyed bc i realize my mlp designs for my au is kinda similar to what everyone else is doing so instead of getting mad and RSD i got driven by weed, a little bit of BPD and mountain dew to make new designs via picrew and different ponies from other generations and ykw. I'm proud of the designs.
I'll show the picrews in a different post after i do the princesses, Sunset, Trixie and Starlight. I'm also changing lore. I will say, when i draw them, the colors will not be so similar.
I don't have to change lore but I'm gonna bc I struggle to pick a story.
note: I'm not knocking anyones designs or even my original ones, i just have bpd / npd and autism and i just don't like doing whatever other people are doing, SOMETIMES, and want to try and be semi original ( by semi i just acknowledge i know i cannot fully be original ).
But this is a positive step for me bc usually i see ppl doing ideas i want to use before i ever get the chance to say them or do them and get super BPD and RSD.
I may be single and closeted and disabled and jobless but people on the internet tell me I’m funny so take that, negative thoughts, ur basically my bitch.
to the angsty teenager i once was… BITCH WE MADE IT!!!!
I'm also really proud of us, honestly, for getting into college classes finally! We've been struggling with our confidence and self-worth, but we really have done a lot!
Here's to my programming and web development program!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Shit does get better. Looking back on how I used to be...it's better now. Some things are better and some things are worse. But...it gets better.
I'm crying, holy shit.
It reminds me of Lauma's voiceline --- "oh, you poor lost lamb". The lamb is finding a home.
We're making it. I'm looking back at that scared, angry, closeted kid. I remember how it felt back then but from the birds eye view I have now, everything feels different.
I'm looking back at my past self and wishing I could've given them a hug, hoping that they would think that the me they see now and the me ill be in the future are badass.
if little kid me somehow came from the past to visit me in my current reality, & she was like "so whats the future like? is it better? it is cooler? like with everything chrome & robots to do your homework?"
id probs be like "listen. idk how else to say this. the future is not better. it feels worse, actually. the handful of the richest men in the world are dominating & destroying it, just like the evil villains in cartoons. & the robots arent just doing our homework, theyre taking over the world too. it doesnt feel real, but it is. its really scary."
& then id probs see the light leave her eyes... but ik shes already so beaten down by her own mom & her own mind... so id remember to be kind to my young self and wish for her to enjoy being a kid while she has it. & to keep going bc the future isnt ALL bad.
so id say, "but yknow what? even tho that horrible stuff is going on in the world & theres not much i can do about it, i do have some good news about OUR life. about the life urs is going to become. i dont wanna give any real spoilers but... ur gonna get hurt, a lot. but ur gonna learn from it all. youll be grateful for surviving everything. ur gonna struggle a lot bc of ur differences, but youll get thru it & itll be worth having gotten thru it. you WILL eventually get away from ur abusive mom. u will eventually be DONE with school. u will eventually learn to love urself for who u are. u will eventually get to a point where u feel okay existing as urself in ur body in ur own space. & theres so much more to look forward to past that too. past feeling okay, theres feeling good. past being comfortable or content, theres being happy. i might not be fully there yet either but i know i will get there bc ive gotten thru so much before. so hang in there, kid. & enjoy being a kid while u are one. keep making art, keep playing pokemon, keep doing what u like. bc ur awesome. & ur gonna still be awesome in the future. i promise."