Mar 30
5 years later:
This is Karma Grayson.
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5 years later:
This is Karma Grayson.
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The Riddler probably has such an up and down relationship with the Robins because they all tend to tackle things differently and he’s always so thrown by how they handle his riddles.
The Riddler: To free Batman from my trap, you must answer this riddle, little bird. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?
Dick, eight years old and freshly Robin: *thinking really hard*
The Riddler looking at Batman dangling upside down: ?
Batman: He just needs an extra minute.
The Riddler:
Batman: English isn’t his first langauge.
The Riddler, feeling a little bad: oh, that’s… take your time, buddy.
Jason, twelve years old: *lifting a hand*
The Riddler: -uh, yes?
Jason: Can you repeat that? The riddle?
The Riddler: um, yeah, sure. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?
Jason: Yeah, you’re a map but when you’re talking about multiple species of fish, which you probably are, you can say fishes. If you’re using fish, you’re only talking about one species.
The Riddler:
Jason: I just think you should know that. You know as a “genius”
The Riddler: The more you take, the more you -
Tim: Footsteps, where’s Batman?
The Riddler: No, you have to let me-
Tim: Nuh-uh
The Riddler: The fuck do you mean “nuh-uh”? Who raised you?
Tim, on two hours sleep, with two essays due on this fine Thursday night: *fucking launches himself at The Riddler*
The Riddler: I wear a mask but not to hide,
Steph: It's you. You're the answer.
The Riddler: You have to let me finish.
Steph, mimicking him: YOu HaVE tO LEt mE FIniSH
The Riddler: I have-
Damian: *launches himself at the Riddler*
The Riddler: Batman, fuck, FUCK, he’s fucking biting me-
hot summer day with a couple of baby robins ☀️ 🍦 🐥 ~!
inspired by Dick mentioning how he still does performances at a circus over the summer in the New Teen Titans :,)
Bruce understands that the robins will struggle to keep their secret identity more than he does with their friends and socializing. So he needs a contingency plan so if someone finds out they're robin, they won't suspect Bruce is batman.
Cue Brucie being the most overprotective parent ever.
He insists Dick is scared of heights. Dick will be swinging on a chandelier, showing off his skills while Brucie is running in circles under him, with his arms out, screaming "don't worry, baby! Daddy will catch you!". He's clinging Dick to his chest, whispering reassurances to him, while Dick is smiling, soaking up all the praise.
Pretty soon the adults are telling Dick off, "you're gonna give your father a heart attack one of these days".
It's 100% worse with Tim. After losing Jason, the 'Batman who's fine with bringing a kid to fight serial killers' is a lot more of an act than the 'Bruce Wayne who will die from heartbreak if his kid has so much as a scratch on him'. Tim accidentally got hit with a basketball one day in school and all hell broke loose in the principals office. It doesn't matter if that was 1% of the pain Tim feels during any training session or fight. That's his baby boy's precious face.
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Bruce: I thought we agreed that if anyone suggested I was acutally your biological father, you remind them that we are too close in age for that to be possible.
Dickbin: I did remind them it was impossible.
*Bruce picks up magazine*
Bruce: (reading aloud) When asked about recent rumours he might be Wayne's biological child, Grayson replied 'You think my mother, a beautiful, intelligent, world class gymnast, would debase herself by even letting Bruce Wayne talk to her? She was a woman of grace but more importantly standards!'
Dickbin: You're just upset because it's true.
feed dickbin after midnight
i just saw him knock out like five riddler goons in a row like bffr batman