Not assigning Samira, Javadi, or Al-Hashimi (and less-seen characters). Need to see them interact with these insane people.

Robby as Aamir Khan:

Listen. It's about the perfectionism. The mustache. The deep well of sadness. It simply makes sense. Dramaturgically. Truly believe he is the one besides Noah Wyle who can play the absolute neurotic, repressed, component malfunctioning weirdo that is Micheal "Robby" Robinavitch.

Abbott as Shah Rukh Khan:

He just shows up to be sexy and charming and take his top off. Everybody loves him and his chill vibe. He's also kind of gay. And the protagonist of some kind of regency era love story. What else could I do except cast Mr. Down Bad as SRK. Who are we even joking here. I think he would eat up Dard-E-Disco.

Dana as Preity Zinta:

She's the most beautiful woman alive who could 100% kill me if she wanted. And I would let her. Preity has the combination of toughness and kindness you need to be Dana. And she has that contagious smile and laugh. The Pitt literally needs her energy. I rest my case.

McKay as Rani Mukerji:

The beauty, the grace, the empathy. The ability to absolutely read someone to filth in the classiest way possible. Mrs. Competence who has never been found lacking. She's literally her.

Langdon as Dhanush:

This came to me in a vision. His boyish charm crashing up against huge real-life problems. The way he can charm you even when he's playing a bit of an asshole-- but he does have that heart of gold. Always singing about being pathetic and in love and down bad and a loser. Really sweet relationship with a charming, bright-eyed young lady. Put Langdon in that lungi it would fix him. It might make him worse. Nevertheless, we should give it a shot.

Mel as Kajol:

Mainly thinking of her from K3G. She is so loveable and dorky and always causing an issue in a social situation. You genuinely can't help but love her. She's so delightful. She's literally sweetie pie and charms everybody.

Santos as Deepika Padukone:

Miss Diva. Miss Competent. Miss Girl. Always looking stunning and being a hater. Serving face and facts and tea. Always so energized and witty and charming. She's literally magnetic. All her characters have Lesbian Allegations. Santos would fit right in.

Whitaker as Jiiva:

Ngl, mainly coming from his performance in Nanban because I take that movie seriously. He's just a goofy, pathetic guy doing his best. Sad wet dog energy. He needs friends with stronger personalities to guide him in the right direction. Absolutely would be getting fluid splattered on him every five minutes. And he would eat up Whitaker's shirtless bathroom dance!

Shen as Saif Ali Khan:

Literally the chilliest, coolest guy. Minding his own business and being beautiful and whorish in a corner. Would use the term metrosexual. The cool young guy at work who is also a giant dumbass, coming in with an iced coffee, and literally barely does any work. Love him down.

Ellis as Hrithik Roshan:

Mr. Sexy himself of course has to be Ellis. Here to look handsome, take charge of a situation, show off their awesome biceps, charm the ladies, and leave. What an icon. Real-life superhero.

Joy as Kareena Kapoor:

She's literally such a diva and she knows she's a 10 while you all are 5s. What an absolute legend. Incredible one liners. No time for any bullshit, especially coming from an entitled man. Style icon. Girl's girl-- Joy and Mohan need to be besties fr.

Ogilvie as Imran Khan:

Kind of annoying nerdy little guy who slowly reveals more layers and becomes an actual three-dimensional person. Still a dork though.

Emma as Juhi Chawla: