𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: connor has been having very bad nightmares due to the trauma of his past 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: depicted gore, brief mention of suicide The moonlight was comfortably set over Detroit, and almost everyone was sound asleep in their homes. Just distant sounds of traffic and people talking from outside could distract me from lying with Connor. A brisk gust of air blows into the room, dragging the cool temperature down slightly. Connor’s synthetic skin warmed where I touched him and where I didn’t, making the cool temperature of the room bearable.

 The night went as most do. Connor and I both fell asleep in the warm embrace of each other’s arms. We were both on our sides facing each other - his arm was around my waist and spooning my back while his other hand was underneath my body. My arm outstretched onto Connor’s lower torso.

Connor’s LED shone a brilliant shade of blue as he dozed off into sleep. He looked so elegant while idle. Just tracing my hand along his jaw while he sleeps, memorizing every freckle placed on his skin, looking at just how beautifully they designed him. ‘How did I find someone as perfect as him?’ I thought.

 I almost fell asleep until I realized Connor twitching slightly, his LED switching from yellow to red, then back again. His breathing became more and more staggered, causing me to worry slightly more. He gripped onto the loose clothing on my back as if it was the last thing keeping him from falling to his untimely death. Sweat beaded down his brow to his chin. I rocked him back and forth with my hand, trying to wake him. ‘Connor? Hey, Hey! Baby, please get up!’ I whisper yelled to him, but to no avail. 

This is my first fanfic that I have ever written so pls be nice! I know it’s long but tbh I wrote this mostly for myself lol. It basically follows the story of a CyberLife engineer (the reader) and our boy Connor! I plan to write multiple chapters for this if anyone actually becomes interested lol!  

Chapter 1

Work at the station had been more intense than usual these past three weeks. Protesters  had been extra violent  in Detroit, protesting against the manufacturing of androids. They usually took their anger out on the police androids in the streets. You guess it made them feel more powerful to rough up an android that was supposed to act as a type of authority. You thought it was kind of pathetic and pointless to cause so much damage to android simply doing its job. It also gave you a shit ton more work than usual since you were the CyberLife engineer working at the Detroit PD to repair any police android that might need it. Police androids are only used for basic police work, such as giving tickets, stoping pick pocketers on the street, and staying alert of anything that might be suspicious or threatening. They don't even carry a gun or weapons, serving more as an extra eye for cops on duty. Connor, the RK800 that works with Hank, is the only android that acts as a fully working detective, able to have a weapon and upgraded with CyberLife's most advance technology.

 You had to admit, he was incredibly impressive. When you had received the blueprints and manuals on his wiring before he first arrived at the station, you found yourself actually a bit overwhelmed. He barely used any parts that were similar to the ones that most androids used, and his wiring was so intricate. He was the most advanced model of android you had ever seen. It took you a few days to get comfortably familiar with his systems so you would be prepared to fix him up if ever he needed it once he arrived. You figured you would be seeing him a lot since he was the only android in the front line of  dangerous work. 

Tonight is the first Friday in a long time you can remember being able to actually leave work on time. It was honestly a miracle. It seemed there was always paper work that needed filling out or an android that needed tending to. It was nice to be home on your couch, under a warm blanket, with food that wasn't takeout for a change, and all by 11:30. You were swiping through an article on the debate of weather android police dogs should also be used in police departments. It seems unlikely. At least until it is confirmed by CyberLife that they are reliable; that they can't disobey their orders or even go deviant. (If that's even possible for android animals.) You were thankful either way because android animals would require you to become familiar with a whole new type of engineering. Learning the ins and outs of Connor was enough. 

It was pouring rain as you were reading. The occasional crash of thunder and lightning was almost comforting to you. You began to dose off to the sounds of the familiar Detroit weather outside. You were suddenly jerked awake by a loud crash of thunder. Or at least that's what you thought woke you up. Standing in the frame of your front door was the RK800 android from the station. He had forced open the door, breaking the lock, and was completely soaked from the rain. He was hunched over, clutching his torso. His LED was flashing bright red. 

"Connor?! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Sorry for the unannounced visit y/n. I hope it's not an inconvenience."

  You were suddenly aware of the massive flow of blue blood seeping from his midsection. He could barely stand. You rushed over to help him stay upright. 

"Oh my god Connor what happened?!

"Do you think maybe we could talk about the details once i'm not losing an unsafe amount of thirium?" 

"Right, right, right." You were trying to take deep breaths and not panic. He really looked like shit. "I have a  room in the back with a workbench and a whole bunch of extra android parts and emergency thirium. Let's get you back there fast."

You put his right arm around your neck to help him stand and used your other hand to apply pressure to the general area where he was bleeding. Based on the amount of blue his shirt was drenched in, you could tell he was wounded in multiple places. You quickly helped him as he limped to the back room.

 You shoved aside half finished diagnostic reports and old projects off the work bench and helped Connor onto it. His entire shirt was now covered in blue blood. 

"Connor, you're going to need to take off your shirt for this one. I can't even tell where the hell you're bleeding from!" He began to undress as you frantically searched for your crate with supplies to perform a blue blood transfusion. You were not used to having to repair androids at your own house. This was the first time anything like this had happened. You were wondering how the hell Connor even knew where you lived. 

Finally, you found the crate with the supplies you were looking for. Quickly, you turned around, looking directly at a shirtless Connor on your work bench. You weren't sure why, but you felt yourself freeze for a moment, taken aback by the android sitting in front of you. You couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was about him that was so intriguing in that moment. Maybe it was the fact that he was in such incredible shape. You weren't sure why you weren't expecting him to be so ripped. "I mean of course he is." you thought.  "Why wouldn't CyberLife give their newest super weapon abs y/n??" You chuckled to yourself a little under your breath at your own thoughts.

"Is everything alright y/n?" He seemed more concerned about you than the flow of thirium leaving his body.

"Ya sorry, I just... I don't know. Let's get you fixed." You shook away your thoughts and began to focus on the task at hand.

You immediately began work on him, having to use his shirt to wipe the blood from his abdomen so you could get a sense of where all the blue blood was coming from. You discovered 4 bullet holes. "Holy shit Connor what were you doing?"

"Well, my mission didn't go exactly how I expected" he managed to huff out. You could tell the loss of thirium was starting to catch up to him. God only knows how long it took him to find your house after he was shoot. 

Once you cleaned up enough of the thirium to see what you were doing, you began to work on assessing the damage and removing the bullets. You also decided to try to get some answers.

"You must have really pissed someone off for them to have shot you 4 times."

 "Well I imagine getting caught while dealing 20 pounds of red ice would be rather aggravating."

"20 pounds?! How do you even come across 20 pounds if red ice?"

"That's why I was put on this case. They want me to find out where exactly these dealers are finding so much red ice."

"Alright Connor, i'm removing the first bullet now. Be ready to apply pressure."

His LED flashed a quick red as you removed the first bullet. He barely flinched, letting out nothing but a silent grunt. You proceeded to the next bullet.

 "You're lucky you got here so quickly. Any longer and there would have been nothing I could do. How did you even find my apartment?"

"I knew I wouldn't be able to find you in the precinct because I overheard you talking to detective Reed that you were planing on getting home early tonight. I knew my mission tonight was dangerous so I saved your address in my database in case of emergency."

You let out a small laugh and smiled up at him. "You're lucky you were listening in." 

"My programming requires me to be listening to any conversations happening around me within a 20 foot radius."

You thought about what he just said as you finally reached the second bullet. You and Reed were on the other side of the precinct, opposite of where Connor's desk is, when you told him your plans of leaving early. Connor was at his desk, definitely farther than 20 feet away, when you were talking to Gavin. Was Connor....trying to listen to your conversation? Why? You shook the thought from your mind.

"Okay, next bullet out in 3..2...." You removed the second bullet right under his rib. This time he had to brace himself slightly by grabbing the edge of the bench. You put your hand on his shoulder.

 "You good?"

"Yeah" he huffed as he placed his hand over yours on his shoulder. "Move onto the next bullet, i'll be fine." 

You were amazed by how calm he was, considering you were on the edge of having a full fledged panic attack. Quickly, you moved to the spot of the third and fourth bullet. They were relatively close to each other.

"Thank god they didn't hit your thirium pump. It's hard to find those parts for a standard android, let alone an RK800. I don't think I even have one that would fit your model here in my office." 

"You're smart y/n. You would have figured something out."

You tried to convince yourself you believed that statement. Connor seemed to have a lot of confidence in you. Probably too much you thought.

"Last two Connor. I'm gonna take both out at the same time since they're right next to each other. Get ready." You pulled the bullets from his waist with one last tug. He let out a sharp whine, clenching his eyes shut and grabbing your wrist as you removed the last bullets. His grip on your wrist was surprisingly gentle and warm. You forgot that the flow of thirium through his body allowed for him to give off at least some body heat. CyberLife really knew how to make these androids seem so human. 

He slowly let go of your wrist, as his LED circled from a wild red back to yellow and then to blue. You let out a sigh of relief. Finally the hard part was over. All that was left to do now was transfuse some blue blood back into his body, and check to make sure none of his parts or wiring was damaged from the shots. He's able to heal over the wound himself with prosthetic skin.

"My diagnostics program is telling me that there doesn't seem to be any major problems. Only minor motor function issues that can be fixed with a system reset."

"You're lucky Connor. You could have been done for shit." You finished setting up your equipment for the transfusion. Thank god you were done. It was now that you realized that you were sweating. You were used to being under  intense pressure, that was part of your job most of the time. But never had it made you this stressed. Connor could have been gone....and it would have been your fault.

You sat yourself down on the center on the floor, laying your legs straight out in front of you and placing your hands behind you for support. For what felt like the first time in the past 20 minutes, you were finally able to catch your breath. You shut your eyes and began to take deep breaths. It was finally over.

"y/n, I noticed that the situation has caused your heart rate to increase rapidly. I'm sorry for any distress I might have caused you. It wasn't my intention." Connor was not knelt down beside you on the floor. His LED was circling yellow from scanning you.

“Of course you didn't, it's not your fault Connor. If anything i'm thankful you got here before it was too late."

He now sat down across from you, sitting perfectly in a criss-cross position. You both sat in silence for the next few seconds, taking the opportunity to rest after everything that just happened.

"Thank you y/n."

You lifted your head to look across at him. It felt like he was staring right into you. You knew he was an android, but the sincerity in his eyes seemed so real. You couldn't help but feel like he meant it. You gave him a warm smile. "No problem Connor." You started to get up from the floor. "And besides" you smirked, "it's kinda my job to save your ass."Connor looked up at you from the floor, the little light on the side of his head circling with blue. "So" you sighed. "What now?"

Connor swiftly stood up from the floor.

"I learned some critical information for Hank and I's investigation tonight, however I doubt he would appreciate a visit from me so late."

You started to clean up the supplies, parts, and thirium from your workbench as you talked to him. "The precinct is always open, you could go there and file everything in the database until tomorrow morning.

"I need to conduct my system reset before I do anything. If too many of my basic functions are down, my programming won't allow me to do much."

"How long does this reset take?"

"Four hours." Connor seemed annoyed with his answer

. 

"You could just do your reset here. If for some reason anything goes wrong or I somehow missed something when fixing you up, you're right here."

He seemed to be considering what you were offering, his LED flashing yellow. "That would seem to be my best option. I hope you don't mind" The sincerity was back in his eyes.

"It's not a problem at all. Plus I'd rather be able to keep an eye on you for the night."

Connor made his way toward you at the workbench, reaching for his jacket. It was then that you realized Connor was still shirtless. You weren't sure why, but you felt slightly embarrassed as he come closer to you. He seemed to notice something was off. He turned to look at you, his face only inches away from yours.

"Is everything ok y/n?" he asked with genuine curiosity in his voice.

You turned your head back to look straight in front of you instead of looking at Connor.

"Ya sorry I...I was just thinking that maybe we should get you some clothes until I get yours washed." You glanced at him with a nervous smile, trying not to look at his bare chest. Even though he was an android, you still felt you needed to be respectful for some reason. Connor turned to look at his once crisp white shirt now covered in a milky blue.

AO3 link available here!

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Summary:

It didn’t matter how much Nines hated it as long as Gavin was able to keep the act up, or that’s what Gavin had thought for the longest time.

Nines has had enough.

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“So that’s it? It’s over?”

Gavin didn’t believe the words that had escaped his lips, he couldn’t believe how badly he had fucked up. He’s begging; begging Nines not to go, not to leave him right now. He needs him; needs him more than anybody else in the world and yet he’s treated Nines like absolute shit, as if he didn’t give a damn about him and he’s aware of how badly he fucked up, but they can make up, right? They can talk things out, negotiate and make things work, can’t they?

The detective should have seen it coming from miles away, his behavior had been inexcusable from the very beginning.

It was unfair to Nines from the start. He deserved much better; better than the treatment he had received from Gavin throughout the course of their relationship.

The constant hostility in order to hide their relationship from others, pushing Nines around, making fun of him to their other fellow co-workers, never once had he ever considered that the android would grow tired of the detective’s behavior.

All of this was in order to keep up his facade , the man who despised androids with all his being.

It didn’t matter how much Nines hated it as long as Gavin was able to keep the act up, or that’s what Gavin had thought for the longest time.

Nines has had enough.

Especially after yesterday.

“You fucking disgust me,” he spat into the android’s face, watching him flinch back, his LED circling a vibrant red, signalling distress and yet the detective only continued, proceeding to slam the android up against the wall. “You hear me? You’re just a useless plastic piece of shit.”

Nines had realized then that Gavin had only cared; cared about himself.

How Nines felt didn’t matter.

Not. At. All.

“After what had occurred yesterday, I’ve taken the nature of our relationship into consideration. This has not been healthy for either of us, Detective Reed,” Nines explains, not bothering to spare a glance towards the man, this pained him as well but he knew this was better, that he must end the relationship before it gets even worse.

The android didn’t want things to end like this by a long shot, but he was emotionally exhausted from this abusive behavior that the detective showed towards him, knowing that it couldn’t possibly be something that he could deal with forever. He doesn’t want to be hidden, to be a secret, to be subjected to Gavin’s abusive behavior in order to keep his “tough” act up, in order to hide their relationship.  He was tired of the physical abuse, the insults, and then when the detective would clutch him closely at night, telling the android how much he loves him, he knew that he would reach his limit sooner or later, and it just so happened that the limit had been hit yesterday.

He couldn’t handle being treated like this anymore.

Nines knew from the very beginning that this would have never worked out.

He doesn’t want the detective to cry, he doesn’t want him in pain despite how Gavin has treated him towards the entirety of their relationship. However, he never quite understood why Gavin felt that he needed to keep up the act, all it had done was further damage their relationship and even as much as the detective cries for Nines to not leave, to talk things out, Nines doesn’t wish to do that, he doesn’t wish to let himself be persuaded by empty words.

He hears a sniffle behind his back and that voice, begging and pleading for him not to leave, the detective mumbling softly that he’ll stop treating NInes as he does, that he’ll treat Nines better.

‘If you knew it was wrong in the first place, that it could damage our relationship to an irreparable extent, then why did you treat me like that?’ NInes thought.

Nines knows that if he even spares a glance at Gavin, that his resolve would crumble, that he wouldn’t be able to leave. The android can’t, he can’t look the detective in the face, so he shifts his gaze towards the floor as he reaches a hand out to grasp the door handle, hesitating on whether to leave or not.

“If you leave, things won’t be the same. We can still work this out, Nines-”

The android shifts, and a substance drips onto the floor, Nines is crying . He doesn’t want to leave , but he knows he has to.

His hand freezes and he wonders if he’s making the right decision, however he knows better than to stay here and be manipulated again. He knows better than this.

Sehnsucht, a German word characterized by a longing for utopian ideals, the sense of incompleteness and imperfection of life, bitter-sweet ambivalent emotions, reflection and evaluation of one’s life, and symbolic richness.

- 

Anyone want to do the same for me, go follow @alotofbeansandangst , my writing account.

For the  Android Whump Big Bang! @android-whump-big-bang

These pieces were for @random-nerd-posts story “Counting Stars”.