#rk800

What do you think are Connor’s flaws/toxic traits in a relationship??

No one is perfect and I do want him to be realistic in my long fic.

I want to show his growth and he would not be immediately perfect in a relationship. No one is! Especially when he’s so new to everything

The Line Item

Occurs between canon chapters “Night of the Soul” and “Battle for Detroit: Connor at the CyberLife Tower”

Clover and Connor are finally reunited, but with the world still burning outside her apartment, the relief doesn’t last long.  Clover learns about Connor’s plan to infiltrate CyberLife Tower, and she offers to help him.  Connor refuses, insisting that it’s not her fight… and he learns that it very much is, and has been for a long time.

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Warnings: references to emotional/psychological manipulation, power imbalance, existential crisis

Wordcount: 4.6k

ao3 link l masterpost

Chapter 21: Distance

Warnings: Referenced minor character death, therapy, trauma, recovery, grief, canon typical themes.

Summary: The revolution may be over, but the aftermath is only beginning. As Elise returns to work and finally confronts her guilt in therapy, Connor begins to realize that some things cannot be solved by finding the right answer. Sometimes, loving someone means giving them the space to find their own way back.

December 13th, 2038 - 05:45am Elise's Apartment

Elise awakens to the sound of her alarm blaring through her room and an angry Pumpkin giving her a death glare for waking her. She rolls over, burying her head in the pillows as she hits the snooze button.

She can hear the light tap of rain on the windows, it's the perfect day to stay inside and do nothing, but she knows she needs to get up.

Elise had told herself she would get back into the routine she'd created when she first started working: leaving her apartment at 06:15, stopping at a coffee shop on her walk, and still arriving fifteen minutes early.

Right now, as she lays in the pitch dark room, blankets pulled up around her, and Pumpkin curled into her side, the thought seems overwhelming. Instead, she closes her eyes, drifting back to sleep until her 06:30am alarm goes off.

This time, she forces herself to sit up. Elise stands, making the bed quickly before throwing on the outfit she had set out last night and brushing her teeth. She crouches down, petting Pumpkin and placing a kiss on her head before heading out of the door.

She arrives at the office with five minutes to spare. Elise pushes through the glass doors, barely acknowledging the receptionist that had replaced Emma. A few of her coworkers try to stop her and have conversation, but Elise keeps walking, only turning her head slightly to whisper a polite "Good morning."

Elise finally makes it to her office, throwing her work bag onto the chair as she starts unpacking it. She is thankful she remembered to grab it at least, though the same can't be said for her lunch. She's grateful Violet was true to her word and that her coworkers didn't ask her questions, or make remarks about the incident.

Violet peaks her head into Elise's office a few minutes later, taking a seat in a chair beside Elise's desk.

She exhales, taking a long sip of coffee, "Dude, I'm so over this shit already. WHY is my email blowing up like it's fucking 7am."

Elise snorts despite herself, "I'm sorry. At least the day will go by faster since you're so busy."

She pauses for a moment, absentmindedly twirling a pen in her hands as she looks over at Violet, "…Thank you.. For handling everything. It means a lot to me."

Violet gives a faint smile, "You know I've always got you."

Elise's attention returns to her laptop in front of her, staring at her calendar that's packed with meetings, check ins, project deadlines, and client calls. For once, she's glad she has a months worth of work to catch up on. It leaves her less time to be able to think about the fire.

Violet sighs, standing up, "Ugh, I guess I better get to work. I'll see you for lunch?"

"Yeah, we can go get something...because I forgot to pack one today," Elise gives a small laugh.

"Sounds good to me," Violet chuckles, exiting Elise's office, begrudgingly heading back to her own.

December 13th, 2038 - 09:00am Detroit Police Station

The blue hue of the bullpen usually comforted Connor, it was familiar, almost like a second home. Today, it makes him feel restless. He has been working on this case for almost a week now and still has no leads.

He sits at his desk, leaning back in his chair as he searches the database via his HUD. The information flashes across his vision:

Fake name

Fake address

Fake phone number

No previous employment history

No matching criminal records

Hank sits across from him, hunching over his terminal and reviewing footage from businesses. Traffic lights, and people's home cameras, trying to see if they could find the direction the man went.

Connor opens his eyes, LED flickering yellow as he looks to Hank, "This incident seemed very thought out… Almost as if it was planned."

Connor sees Fowler opening the glass doors to his office before he hears him, "Connor, Hank in my office."

He pushes off of the desk, lifting himself to follow behind Hank as they head up the stairs to Fowler's office. The captain is leaning back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his exhausted face.

Fowler sighs, "Give me an update."

Hank paces in front of the captain's desk, sighing, "No one has been able to give any information other than Elise saying he volunteered with her at the group. Other volunteers mentioned they saw him, but he only worked with her that day."

Connor's brows furrow, LED spinning yellow as Hank spoke. Fowler notices, pointing to him, "Connor, what are you thinking?"

He leans forward, LED returning to a steady blue, "I think we should go back to the group and ask more questions."

Fowler drops the file on his desk, leaning back once more, "Okay. Go ask questions, we don't have anything to lose and we need a lead."

Hank's fingers drum the steering wheel, the snowy streets passing in a blur as he drives the pair to the library. He parks the car in front of the library, Connor is reading through the file for the fifth time today from the passenger seat.

Hank sighs, holding his cigarette out the window, "We should talk to Rose and that other coordinator again. They'd probably have the most information out of anyone."

"Hm," Connor nods, "Do you think we should talk to Elise again?"

"No," Hank opens his door, stepping out to stomp the cigarette bud with his boot, "She's already told us everything she knows…and I don't think now is a good time to make her think about this."

"You're probably right," Connor responds, adjusting his tie as he steps out of the car, "She only knew what he looked like, and we need to find out who he is."

The pair make their way up the marble stairs, the snow falling lightly causing them to shine in the sun. Connor pulls the large, wooden door open, allowing Hank to walk in before him. Hank knocks the snow off of his shoes on a rug by the door, before walking down the long corridor leading to the rooms that the group use.

Connor and Hank spot Rose not far away from the entrance of the room, sitting with an android while he fills out an application. Hank looks over to Connor, "I'm going to go find the coordinator, you talk to Rose."

Connor approaches Rose, stopping just behind the table she is sitting at with the android, "Rose?"

She turns, a warm smile appearing on her face, "Connor, how are you?"

"Hello," he gives a bittersweet smile, "I wish we could meet under better circumstances. I would like to ask you a few questions, if that's okay."

"Yes," she nods, "That's fine."

Rose stands, pushing the chair under the desk before turning to the android, "I'll be back in a few minutes."

The two walk together, taking a seat in the empty break room. Connor exhales, leaning back in his seat, "I'm sorry to keep you. We were just wondering if you could think of anything at all that would help with the investigation."

Rose taps a pen against the table, "The only thing I know for certain is he only volunteered once. After you came the first time I checked the records multiple times."

She pauses for a second, then gasps as if she remembered something, "We did have an increased number of volunteers that would come for 1-2 days and then not come back, but that is all I can think of."

Connor's LED flickers yellow. That is suspicious, could it be a possible group? That would explain the increased short term volunteers, but it's a stretch.

He's pulled from his thoughts when Rose leans over, placing a reassuring hand on his, "You'll find whoever it is."

"Thank you," he smiles.

She stands to leave, Connor stays seated almost lost in thoughts again. Rose has her hand on the door handle, ready to turn it, but instead she turns back to him, "How is Elise?"

Connor exhales, then frowns, "She is not doing very well. She is increasingly hard to reach."

Rose nods, "…I've noticed. I'm lucky to get a response every few days from her."

She pauses for a moment, before heading back to her station, "Let me know if there is any way I can help."

A few minutes later, Hank strolls into the room, finding Connor deep in his thoughts, alone at the table. He takes a seat across from him, stretching his legs, "So, what did Rose say?"

Connor sighs, shaking his head, "The same thing. He only volunteered once, but there was an increase in short term volunteers."

Hank nods, "That's essentially what the coordinator said too."

Connor's LED pulses a steady yellow as he thinks, "However, I do think we should look into the other short term volunteers."

"Oh," Hank's eyebrow lifts, "Why?"

Connor leans back in his chair, bringing his arms behind his head, "I would like to consider the possibility that this could be a group. It would explain the increased amount of people volunteering for a few days and not returning."

"Hm," Hank brings a hand to his chin, "Not a bad theory, Connor."

Hank and Connor politely thank Rose and the coordinator for their cooperation once more before heading to Hank's car. The drive back to the station is silent, but not uncomfortable. Both Connor and Hank are trying to piece the case together with the little evidence they have.

When they arrive back at the station, it's mostly empty aside from a few people deciding to work through lunch, Fowler included. Connor can see him hunched over his desk, reading a file from where he's seated across from Hank.

Hank sighs, rubbing his face, "I'm going to lunch. Come with me."

"I'm okay," Connor shakes his head, opening the same file again, "I want to keep working."

"Kid," Hank's tone isn't sharp, but there's not much room for argument, "You're taking a break. You'll drive yourself crazy if you don't."

As usual, Hank drags Connor to the Chicken Feed. Upon their arrival, Connor takes a seat at their usual table in front of the food truck.

A few minutes later, Hank stands beside him, burger in hand. Connor pulls out his phone, staring at the screen. He'd debated texting Elise three separate times this morning, but had decided against it. This time, he decides to send a message:

How has your day at work been? Do you want to do something after work?

A few minutes later, she responds:

It's been fine.

Sure.

December 13th, 2038 - 01:45pm Elise's Office

Elise slides into Violet's car a few minutes later than usual, "Sorry the place I walked to was really busy."

Violet leans over, quickly moving her bag and water bottle from the passenger seat, throwing the items into the backseat, "It's alright, I was just playing on my phone anyway."

Violet hesitates for a moment, looking over at Elise who quietly started to eat the lunch she bought a few minutes prior, "How have you been feeling today? Is everything okay?"

"yeah," Elise nods, taking a sip of her drink, "It's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"Do you still have weekly therapy?" Violet questions, leaning over into the backseat looking for her bag.

"Yes," Elise snorts, "My therapist doesn't think I'm ready for every other week," she pauses for a moment, "I actually have a session Wednesday, so I'm leaving early."

Violet shifts in her seat, "…Are you going to bring up the fire?"

Elise leans back in her seat, closing her eyes, "…Yeah. I plan on bringing it up."

Before Violet has a chance to respond, Elise looks over, "Oh! Will you help me finish Christmas shopping this weekend? I almost forgot I'm not done yet."

"Of course," Violet smiles at her.

Elise's eyes narrow for a moment, "Wait… so did Emma quit? I never found out because… my accident was the same night the march happened."

Violet looks down, fidgeting with her hands. It's almost as if she doesn't want to tell Elise.

"What?" Elise turns to look at Violet, who is still avoiding eye contact, "Just tell me."

Violet lets out a shaky breath, "…I don't think now is a great time."

"Violet," Elise insists, "Just tell me or I'll ask someone else."

"Okay," Violet swallows, "…You remember how the androids made their stand against the police?"

Elise nods, "Yes."

Another shaky breath escapes Violet, as if she's trying to keep herself from crying, "Well… you remember how the police started firing into the crowd."

"Um," Violet's voice cracks and she closes her eyes, "Emma didn't make it."

"...Oh," Elise stares blankly, "...I assumed she decided she didn't want to work here anymore… since most of the older people were so hateful towards her."

The rest of their lunch break is painfully quiet. The only sound in the car is the low hum of the heater and the rain hitting the car. When Elise trudges back to her office, she feels a hollow, heavy weight in her chest.

She slouches into her chair, shoulders dropping. She looks to the right, a framed picture of her, Emma, and Violet at a company event.

How could she be dead?

The hollowness is replaced by a burning anger the more she thinks about it. Emma had been nothing but kind and yet, most people working here treated her like she was nothing. What hurts Elise the most is the thought that Emma finally had chosen something for herself, only to be killed before her 'life' truly started.

December 13th, 2038 - 05:00pm Detroit Police Station

Connor is about to pack up for the day, he's still staring at the evidence when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He reaches for it, warmth spreading through him when he sees Elise's name on his screen. The feeling quickly dissipates into something heavier when he reads her message:

Sorry, I can't hang out tonight anymore. I'm pretty tired.

A frown forms on his face as he stares at the phone. He could let it go, but maybe she wants him to be there for her. He hesitates, but types another message anyway:

I'm sorry. We could just watch a movie if you want?

Connor watches as the typing bubble appears on his screen, only to disappear a moment later. He slides his phone back into his pocket, waiting for a response. Unfortunately, Elise still hasn't texted him back by the time Hank is packing up, asking Connor if he needs a ride.

Connor reaches for his phone, taking one last look just in case he missed a message before sighing, "Yes, I do."

Connor's LED is a steady yellow the entire ride home, Hank looks over at him, noticing his furrowed brows.

Hank exhales, "What's wrong, Connor?"

"I do not understand," Connor runs a hand through his hair, "I can see through her excuses. Why is she lying to me?"

Hank lifts one hand off of the steering wheel, almost as if he is shrugging, "She's been through a lot, and sometimes it's easier to pull away."

After that, neither of them say very much. Hank finally pulls into his driveway, Sumo already barking upon hearing the squeak of the tires and seeing the headlights through the window.

Hank unlocks the door, crouching down to greet the large dog. Connor follows behind Hank, scratching behind Sumo's ears. Hank starts rummaging through his cabinets, searching for pots and pans to start cooking dinner with.

Connor takes a seat on the couch, Hank joining him while the water boils on the stove. He looks over at Hank who is sipping a beer, "Hank?"

He looks over, "Yeah?"

"I am struggling to understand humans," he exhales, "Logically, the fire is not Elise's fault. I do not understand why she thinks it is."

He pauses for a moment, "She said I could see her today and then right before I am supposed to go to her apartment, she cancels on me and then did not respond to my message."

Hank takes another drink, studying Connor for a moment, "You're assuming the reason she cancelled has something to do with you."

"I don't understand," Connor frowns.

"You keep saying she's lying," Hank leans back, "Maybe she is. But that doesn't mean she's lying to you."

Connor's LED flickers yellow, "Then who is she lying to?"

"Herself maybe," Hank lets out a quiet laugh.

Connor looks over at him, visibly confused, LED flickering yellow.

Hank turns towards Connor, "Kid, she's been through something horrible. Sometimes people convince themselves they're fine because admitting it means they have to deal with it."

"She told me she was tired," Connor looks down at his hands.

"Maybe she is," Hank places a hand on Connor's shoulder.

"She is always tired lately, " Connor is quiet for a moment, "So what am I supposed to do?"

Hank sighs, "Nothing."

"Nothing?' Connor's head snaps up.

"You heard me."

"But if she is struggling-"

Hank puts up a hand, "You can't make her talk, Connor."

His LED pulses yellow again.

Hank sighs, “You can keep asking. You can keep reminding her you're here. But eventually, you've gotta let her decide when she's ready.”

Connor looks towards the kitchen, where the water has begun to boil over, "I don't like it."

“Yeah,” Hank says, getting up to turn down the burner, “Welcome to being a person.”

Connor watches him for a moment before quietly saying, “I just don't want her to think I don't care.”

Hank glances over his shoulder, "Trust me, Connor. She knows you care.

He pauses for a moment, "The trick is making sure she doesn't start feeling like she has to be okay just because you're worried about her."

December 14th, 2038 - 09:00am Detroit Police Station

The bullpen is unusually quiet when Connor arrives the next morning. He takes a seat at his desk across from Hank, pulling up the investigation file as the first reports of the morning begin appearing across his HUD.

The suspect's identity is still the main issue. He begins digging through the information they have, searching for anything that might connect the man's name to an actual person.

Nothing.

An address to an empty apartment.

The phone number was disconnected shortly after activated.

Employment history is nonexistent

He leans back in his chair, "Hank."

Hank looks over at him from his terminal, "yeah?"

Connor looks at the files scattered on his desk, "There is no record of this man prior to the identity he used to volunteer with."

Hank turns toward him, "So the identity was fabricated," He places a hand on his chin, "This wasn't some guy who panicked after the fire and ran."

"No," Connor's LED flickers yellow, "He had a plan."

Connor runs through the timeline again. Someone had taken the time to make a believable identity, volunteer at the group, learn how everything worked, and then disappear without leaving behind any useful information.

It wasn't impulsive, it was planned.

Hank exhales, leaning back in his chair, "Okay so, we've got one guy who knew what he was doing."

Connor nods, "And we still don't know who he is."

Connor looks back at his screen. For now, they were still looking for one person. One person who seemed impossible to find.

December 14th, 2038 - 01:00pm Elise's Office

Violet and Elise have lunch in the car again, as usual. Before Elise's accident, the two already hated listening to their coworkers spout anti-android sentiments. Now, Elise can barely tolerate hearing it before she's interrupting the conversation.

Violet looks over at Elise in the passenger seat, "How are you holding up?"

She sighs, leaning back in the seat, "Honestly… I'm exhausted, but work is helping."

"Are you still planning to go to therapy tomorrow?" Violet asks, taking a sip of her drink.

"I'm a little nervous," Elise leans forward, putting her trash from lunch in a bag, "I don't really know what to say."

Violet gives her a faint smile, placing a hand on hers, "You don't have to know. That's what the therapist is there for."

Elise lets out a quiet laugh before her eyes widen, "Wait. I think I know what I want to get Hank for Christmas!"

Violet laughs, "Well, it's a good thing we are going shopping this weekend!"

December 14th, 2038 - 03:00pm Detroit Police Station

Connor stares at the information displayed across his terminal.

Nothing.

He runs the search again anyway.

Still nothing.

He leans back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. He has spent most of the afternoon searching for some kind of connection between the suspect and the identity he created for himself. Every trail leads to the same place. Nowhere.

Hank glances over from his desk, noticing Connor's growing frustration, "You find something?"

"No," Connor closes the search window, "Nothing."

"Then stop looking for something that isn't there yet," Hank turns back towards his own terminal.

"There has to be a connection," Connor frowns.

"Probably. But you're not gonna find it by forcing one," Hank gestures towards the files scattered across Connor's desk, "Let the evidence lead you. Don't start building a theory and try to make everything fit it."

Connor is quiet for a moment, "I'm frustrated."

Hank looks over at him, "Why?"

"Because," He sighs, "I can't help Elise."

"What?" Hank pauses.

"I can tell she's struggling," Connor looks down at his hands, "But I don't know what to do."

Hank sighs, leaning back in his chair, "You can't investigate people's feelings, Connor."

"I know."

"Do you?" Hank shakes his head, turning back toward his terminal, "Give her some space. If she wants you around, she'll tell you."

Connor looks down at his phone, opening his messages with Elise before typing:

Do you want to hang out after work?

He tries to focus on something else, but can't until he finally hears his phone buzz with her response:

Sure.

For the first time all afternoon, the tension in his shoulders ease.

December 14th, 2038 - 05:30pm Elise's Apartment

As soon as Connor enters the apartment, Pumpkin is running towards him, demanding he pay attention to her. Pumpkin attempts to climb up his leg, but quickly realizes it isn't as easy as it looks, and tumbles down.

Elise snorts as the kitten scurries away, trying to play off her fall somehow. She makes her way to the sofa, settling underneath the blankets, "So, how was your day?"

He takes a seat beside her, "It was slow, but not bad."

Pumpkin jumps onto the sofa, squeezing herself between them, causing Elise to smile faintly. She looks up at Connor and gives him a small laugh, "She does love you especially."

Connor nods as his LED pulses yellow. He had given her space like Hank suggested and now she is letting him stay, she is smiling again, talking to him again, surely she is improving.

"We should watch something," She says, leaning down to turn on the TV, "It's been a while since we watched a Christmas movie!"

When the TV powers on, a news segment catches their attention:

All androids are still set to receive a settlement from GreenTech following their acquisition of CyberLife. Androids will be contacted in groups, based on release date.

She switches the channel to the streaming service she uses, but before looking for a movie she turns to him, "Have you heard anything more about that? I am happy you will get something… you deserve it."

Connor shakes his head, "No, I haven't heard much. I got a letter from them last week stating the same thing the news said."

He hesitates for a moment. He almost considers telling her about Amanda. He could explain what happened that night, how Amanda had managed to regain control of him, how he'd been unable to stop her, and how he was scheduled for an appointment in January to make sure she was gone for good.

The information had been weighing on him for weeks. Part of him wanted to tell Elise simply because she was someone he trusted. She had always been mostly honest with him about how she was feeling, even when it was difficult, and keeping something this significant from her felt wrong.

But, Connor looks over at her again. She's curled beneath the blankets, finally relaxed, and her attention is on the television. For the first time in days, she seems almost comfortable. He knows how much she's already carrying.

Telling her wouldn't change what happened. It wouldn't make his appointment come any sooner, and it wouldn't give her anything she could do to actually help him. It would only give her another reason to worry.

Connor decides he should keep it to himself, for now.

His thoughts are interrupted when Elise holds up her arm, sighing, "I'm so glad I'm getting this damn cast off tomorrow!"

Connor smiles faintly, petting Pumpkin who has curled into his lap, "I'm glad too."

By the time the movie finishes, it's nearly nine pm. Connor stands, forcing the reluctant kitten to find a new spot to sleep. He slips into his coat, but before he can reach for the door, Elise stands.

"Thank you," She smiles softly, "Thank you for tonight… Would you like me to drive you home? It's pretty dark."

He wants to say yes, but something in him tells him he shouldn't. Perhaps it's the way her eyes seem duller than they did a few minutes ago, or the way she seems to be looking past him.

"I will be alright," Connor places a hand on the door handle, opening it, "Thank you for the offer."

"Goodnight, Connor," She says, walking closer to where he's standing.

"Goodnight, Elise," He responds, before stepping out into the frigid Detroit streets.

Elise waits a few minutes before retreating to her bedroom. When she's finally bundled in her blankets, she feels a sense of dread. She unlocks her phone, staring at the words on her calendar:

Therapy- 1:30PM Wednesday Dec 15th.

She opens the client portal, thumb hovering over the cancellation button. She really doesn't want to go all of a sudden, but then she'd have to deal with everyone's questions. She knew Violet would not go easy on her, and Cal definitely wouldn't. Instead of cancelling, she locks her phone, placing it back on her nightstand and drifts to sleep.

December 15th, 2038 - 08:00am Detroit Hospital

Elise sits in her car in the parking lot of the hospital. She should be happy to get her cast off, but instead her heart is pounding in her chest. She hadn't been back here since she'd been discharged, and she really didn't want to answer any questions about her injuries.

She leans back in the driver's seat, taking a deep breath.

You're okay.

It's one appointment and then you never have to come back

Elise takes a couple more deep breaths before finally convincing herself to get out of the car. The confidence only lasts for a few minutes before turning back into anxiety once she's waiting in the exam room.

The doctor comes in fifteen minutes later, doing a basic exam on Elise's arm before cutting the cast off.

She smiles, "Seems your arm healed perfectly. We couldn't have asked for a better outcome."

Elise returns the smile, "I'm glad to have it off."

The doctor leans back against the counter, writing notes on her clipboard. She looks up at Elise, "And the laceration along your torso, has it been fine? No bleeding or signs of infection?"

Elise closes her eyes. That is what she hoped she would not have to talk about. The doctor is just doing her job, but it doesn't make talking about it any easier.

She shakes her head, "No, it's been fine. Still sore sometimes, but other than that it's okay."

"Good," The doctor looks back down to enter Elise's statement to her notes, "You will likely have a scar, but soon it should stop being sore."

"Okay," Elise nods, "That's good."

The doctor stands, giving one last smile before exiting the room, "Okay. You're all set, you can head out to the left and check out at the desk. Don't hesitate to call if the cut becomes more painful or inflamed."

Elise stands, following the doctor out of the room, "Thanks."

When Elise makes it back to her car, she sits for a moment. She debates whether or not she should go to work. By the time she gets there, she would only have two hours before she needed to leave for therapy, so really, what was the point?

On the other hand, she does have a month's worth of work to catch up on, and every minute counts. Before she can change her mind, she starts driving to the office. She doesn't want her boss to think she is slacking off when she just returned.

When she arrives at work, she opts to take the elevator rather than the stairs. The stairs would mean passing almost everyone's office, yet the elevator places her one hallway down from her own office.

She sneaks past the few offices blocking her way, and starts unpacking her bag when she reaches her room. Elise buries herself in her work: She gets straight to answering emails, scheduling client meetings, and entering paperwork.

She's interrupted when Violet appears, taking a seat across from her desk. She looks at Elise's arm, "So, how was getting the cast off? Did it hurt?"

Elise doesn't look up from her laptop, "No, it was fine."

Violet waits a moment for Elise to say something else, but she doesn't. She just keeps writing in her planner and typing away on her laptop.

"Elise.." Violet leans forward, "…Are you okay? You're quieter than usual."

Elise closes her eyes, leaning back in her seat, "…I don't think I'm doing as well as I thought. Everything is just so much."

She pauses for a moment, "I almost cancelled my therapy session last night."

"Why?" Violet asks softly.

"I don't know," Elise shrugs, "I don't want to talk about the fire, or my accident," She looks down, "…or Emma."

Violet leans forward, placing a hand on Elise's shoulder, "You don't have to solve anything today."

Elise sighs, a defeated sound escaping her, "I know… It's probably a good for me to go anyway."

December 15th, 2038 - 10:00am Detroit Police Station

The day had barely begun before Fowler calls Hank and Connor into his office.

Fowler is leaned back in his chair, visibly frustrated, "Give me an update."

Hank paces crossing his arms, "We don't have much, just that the suspect deliberately constructed a fake identity."

Connor steps forward, LED flashing yellow, "Have we considered the suspect was not acting alone?"

Hank stops pacing, "Maybe, but we don't have enough evidence yet."

Fowler rubs a hand over his face, "Keep digging."

When Connor makes it back to his desk, he starts crossing all of the volunteers who only stayed a short time with the database. After forty five minutes of nothing, Connor notices two names overlap with the volunteer group and an anti-android protest that was held back in November.

It's not enough to prove anything, but it could be something.

December 15th, 2038 - 01:00pm Elise's Apartment

Elise lays on her couch, trying to relax before her therapy appointment. She still doesn't particularly want to go, but she knows she needs to. Pumpkin is curled into a ball laying on her chest, but is suddenly awoken when Elise's phone dings. Pumpkin jumps down from the couch, annoyed with Elise for disturbing her.

Elise reaches over to the coffee table, unlocking her phone and reading a message from Connor:

Do you want to do anything tonight?

She texts him back immediately:

No, I'm sorry.

I want to be alone tonight.

Elise stands, walking to her desk and logging into the appointment. She sits in the waiting room, watching as the time nears closer and closer to the allotted time. She secretly hopes her therapist forgot about their meeting or that she would need to cancel for some reason.

Unfortunately, her therapist joins right on time. She smiles, "How has your week been, Elise?"

Elise twirls her hair, avoiding eye contact, "…It's been pretty shitty."

Her therapist nods, "That's honest."

Elise lets out a humorless laugh, "Yeah, I'm trying to work on that."

"What made it a bad week?"

"Well," she sighs, "A new guy volunteered with me at the group. I trained him on how to find androids housing."

Her voice gets quieter, "And then he burned down an apartment complex."

"You feel responsible for the fire?" Her therapist questions.

Elise shakes her head, "No, I know I didn't burn it down," She pauses, "But I still feel like I helped him do it."

Her therapist watches her carefully, "Those are two different things."

She looks down, "I know."

"Do you?" Her therapist continues gently, "Knowing something intellectually and believing it emotionally aren't always the same thing.

"You gave someone information because you believed they were there to help people. You didn't know what they intended to do with it."

"But I should have known," Elise protests.

"Why?"

Elise tears up, "Because I was there. Because I was supposed to be paying attention."

Her therapist shakes her head, "Elise, being careful doesn't mean being able to predict someone's actions."

Her eyes begin to sting, "Then why does it feel like I should have stopped it?"

"Because you survived it," Her therapist continues, "Sometimes when something terrible happens and we're still here afterwards, our minds look for somewhere to put the responsibility. It's easier to think, 'I should have done something differently' than to accept that something horrible happened that you couldn't control."

For a moment neither of them speaks until Elise sighs, "…And then I found out Emma died."

Her therapist waits.

"She was my friend," Elise swallows, "She was one of my first friends at work. Everyone else acted like she was… nothing"

She trails off, "…I thought she quit after the march, that she didn't want to work at the company anymore.. " Her voice cracks, "I didn't even know she was dead."

Her therapist gives her a moment, "That's a lot of grief to process on top of everything else."

Elise nods, wiping at her eyes. They spend the rest of the session talking through the guilt she's been carrying since the fire, her difficulty accepting that some things were simply outside of her control, and the exhaustion she's been feeling since returning to work.

Her therapist reminds her that she doesn't have to figure everything out at once, and gives her something small to work on over the next week: when she catches herself blaming herself for something, stop and ask whether she actually caused it or simply wishes she could have prevented it.

By the time the session ends, Elise doesn't feel good exactly. The weight in her chest is still there, and Emma's death still hurts in a way she isn't ready to fully process.

Her therapist gives her one last reminder before they end their session, "And Elise? You don't have to be okay just because you're back at work."

Elise gives a small nod, "I'll try to remember that."

When the call ends, she closes her laptop and sits quietly for a moment. She still feels exhausted. But for once, she doesn't immediately feel guilty about it.

Elise is laying in bed when Violet texts:

How was therapy?

She responds a few moments later:

Fine. I feel a little better. I'm just exhausted.

Pumpkin jumps up, curling beside her as she calls Cal. He answers in his usual playful tone, "Helllooo Elise."

Elise smiles faintly, "Hi."

"Well well," Cal says, his tone still playful, "look who finally decided to call me."

She rolls her eyes, settling deeper into the pillows, "Shut up."

Cal snorts, "There she is!"

A quiet laugh escapes her, the first one she's managed in a while.

"How are you?" Cal asks, his voice softer now.

Elise stares up at the ceiling for a moment, "Tired."

They sit in comfortable silence for a few moments before Cal breaks it, "Did you eat today?"

She groans, "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

Cal laughs, "Because you forget." Elise gasps, "I do not."

"You absolutely do."

She smiles despite herself, "I had lunch."

"Good," Cal laughs again, "See? I'm an amazing brother."

Elise smirks, "You're annoying."

They stay on the phone for another few minutes before Elise finally glances at the clock, "I should probably let you go."

"Why? You tired of me already?" Cal jokingly pouts.

"No. I have to get ready for work tomorrow," She pauses, "And I need to cook dinner."

"Okay, okay," Cal sighs, "I love you, call me tomorrow."

"Okay, I love you too," Elise replies before ending the call.

Elise stares at the ceiling for a long moment before finally forcing herself out of bed.She still doesn't feel okay. But for the first time in days, she doesn't feel quite as alone, either.

December 15th, 2038 - 06:00pm Hank's House

Connor sits on Hank's couch, absentmindedly petting Sumo. Hank notices the blank look in his eyes, the one he gets when he's trying to understand something.

He takes a seat beside him, "You thinkin' about Elise?"

Connor sighs, LED spinning yellow, "I am trying to determine whether she's actually improving or simply hiding how badly she's doing."

"Connor," Hank leans back on the sofa, "You don't get to know everything just because you can read people."

Connor frowns at Hank's response, "She told me she wanted to be alone today."

"And what did you say?" Hank lifts an eyebrow.

"I respected her wishes," He pauses for a moment, "But it was very hard."

"And?" Hank questions.

Connor's LED flickers yellow once more, "I know she's not telling me everything."

Hank sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, "Maybe she isn't. That doesn't mean she's lying to you."

Connor looks over at him confused, "What would you call it?"

"Not being ready," Hank continues, "people don't always tell you everything they're feeling, kid. Sometimes they don't even know how to explain it themselves."

Connor looks down, "I can tell when she's trying to hide something."

"I know," Hank shrugs, "That doesn't mean you're entitled to know what it is."

"Entitled?" Connor repeats.

Hank glances over at him, "yeah."

Connor frowns, "I do not understand."

"Which part?" Hank asks, taking a sip of beer.

"Why would I be 'entitled' to know what she's feeling?" Connor pauses, searching for the right words, "I am not asking because I wish to invade her privacy. I want to understand what is wrong so I can help her."

Hank studies him for a moment, "I know you do."

"Then why is it a problem?"

Hank sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, "Because sometimes helping somebody means letting them decide when they want your help."

Connor's LED flickers yellow, "But if i already know she's struggling—"

"You think you know," Hank stops him.

Connor looks at him, almost offended, "I do know."

"You know she's struggling," Hank corrects, "You don't know why. You don't know what she needs. And you sure as hell don't know whether she wants you involved."

"If someone is in distress and I can identify the cause, wouldn't it be logical to intervene?" Connor's expression tightens.

Hank lets out a quiet laugh, "There it is."

"What?" Connor frowns again.

"You're treating her like a problem you can solve."

Connor immediately shakes his head, "I am not."

Hank looks at him for a moment, "You are."

"I just…" Connor exhales, "I just care about her."

"I know," Hank's voice softens, "That's the problem."

Connor looks down at his hands, "I do not understand how caring about someone can make me do the wrong thing."

Hank is quiet for a moment before answering, "Because caring makes you want things for them. You want Elise to be okay. You want her to tell you what's wrong. You want to be able to fix it."

"Yes."

Hank leans back on the sofa, "But what you want isn't automatically what she wants."

Connor doesn't respond.

Hank gives a faint smile, patting Connor on the back, "That's the part you're still learning, kid."

The words make Connor go quiet. His LED slows, shifting from yellow to blue before flickering yellow again. For the first time, he considers that perhaps the problem isn't that Elise is being dishonest with him.

Maybe the problem is that he keeps treating everything he can perceive as something he has a right to understand. His ability to read people had always been useful, it had helped him solve cases, identify inconsistencies, recognize fear, and anticipate behavior. Those skills had always given him answers.

But Elise isn't a case. There wasn't always going to be an answer waiting if he looked hard enough. He knows Hank is right. At least, logically, he knows.

But, knowing something and understanding it are two very different things. Especially when every instinct in him is telling him that if he can identify the problem, he should be able to fix it.

Hank watches him quietly before adding, "You care about her. That's good. But caring about someone doesn't mean you get to decide what they need."

Connor's LED flickers yellow, he doesn't answer. A few seconds later, Sumo nudges his hand, demanding attention again. Connor looks down at the dog and resumes absentmindedly scratching behind his ears.

"I don't like this," he finally admits.

Hank snorts, "Nobody does."

Eeek 💙 Hope yall enjoy <3 starting to outline my next few pieces today!!

Made myself so sad writing this 💔

I also rlly wanted to show Connor understanding human emotions intellectually but not fully emotionally yet. I feel like at this point, he’s to my been a deviant for roughly a month and would still try to look at things logically!

Summary: It's Connor's activation day! You and Hank throw a surprise party to celebrate.

Warnings: oral (m!receiving) that's all really everything else is fluff!

connor x gn!reader

note: soo sorry. the date snuck up on me and i did not have time to make this a full oneshot, but i wanted to do something for his activiation day! maybe later i will rework this into a full oneshot <3 lmk what yall think!

It's Connor’s birthday!! 

 You’ve already ordered him a thirium-based cake with “Happy Birthday, Connor” written across the top, and you need to pick it up on your way home from work.

You’re leaving early to pick up his gifts: a new coin made specifically for tricks, engraved with a sweet message, and a watch he’s been eyeing for months.

You told Connor you had to leave work early for a dentist appointment so he wouldn’t get suspicious.

Hank is also leaving early, supposedly for a vet appointment with Sumo,  so he can help you set up the decorations before Connor gets home.

The two of you make it to your apartment and scramble to finish everything before you hear Connor unlocking the door.

You and Hank hide. You behind the counter and Hank hiding in the hallway

Connor walks through the door, “SURPRISE!”

The look on his face is priceless.

He genuinely thought no one would care about the anniversary of his activation.

Instead, he finds the apartment decorated, a cake waiting for him, and both you and Hank there to celebrate.

He’s visibly overwhelmed by it, especially when he realizes you remembered the date.

He opens his gifts, immediately fascinated by the coin and the watch.

When he notices the engraving on the coin, he goes quiet for a moment.

You go in for a hug after he’s opened everything, thanking the both of you.

“Happy birth— erm… activation day!” 

He laughs, leaning his head against your shoulder.

The three of you spend a few hours celebrating, eating cake, drinking, and listening to Hank complain about how ridiculous the decorations are.

Eventually, Hank heads home.

Connor stays behind, still cleaning up the remnants of the party while you sneak off to your shared bedroom.

You slip into a very cute, sparkly blue set. (blue like thirium ofccc) 

When Connor finally comes looking for you, his eyes widen when he sees you sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You didn't think that was your only gift, did you?”

He gives you that little amused smile.

You get up and close the distance between you, leaning in to kiss him, thirium frosting still lingering on his tongue.

You undid his tie first, loosening it the rest of the way before your hands moved to his belt. 

You lower yourself in front of him, giving a smirk as you lean in, licking up and down his length.

His hand fists in your hair as you swirled your tongue and took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks, working him with focused, deliberate attention.

he deserves the best, after all it is his special day!

 his other hand braced against the doorframe and his composure finally came apart entirely.

He finished with your name on his lips, said low and rough.

You looked up at him through your lashes, a slow, knowing smile pulling at your mouth,  “What do you want to do now, birthday boy?”

It would surely be a very long, entertaining night for you both.

Funny enough this is how I outline oneshots! LOL