#cry.suv

Me: I don’t really feel like I’m otherkin. Maybe I’m just faking it...

hhhhhhhggfhh i hate this i hate THIS

there is someone i HATE in MY territory, i fucking want them to LEAVE OUT GET OUT GET O U T

its bad enough that im having constant feral shifts, THIS IS NOT HELPING

I WANT TO HURT SOMETHING OR SOMEBODY

I WANT TO CLAW, MAUL, ROAR MY FUCKING LUNGS OUT, JUST ANYITHNGG

why do i HAVE to mask, why do i HAVE to stay quiet, IM TIRED OF STAYING QUIET, IM TIRED OF THIS STRESS, IM T IR E D, EXHAUSTED, AT MY GODDAMN LIMIT SINCE LONG AGO AND IM NOT GOING TO HOLD IT IN ANY FUCING LONGER

im both so fucking thankful p-shifting is not possible but HATE it, if i could just become who i fucking am, things would be a lot fucking different right now. i could defend my goddamn territory, instead of this pathetic fleshy body.

they accuse ME of being scared, they accuse ME for THEIR DOING. THEY MADE ME THIS WAY. THEY MADE ME FEEL SCARED TO LIVE IN MY OWN FUCKING HOME. AND THEY ACCUSE ME?

Tumblr. For the love of the gods. I do NOT want this shit on my dashboard.

As someone who lives in the U.S.A and is very well aware of how horrible things are right now, feeling like my life could be threatened as an AFAB queer nonhuman, this is the last thing I want to see.

I'm still not entirely sure if I should even post about this, but whatever-

CW: Suicidal thought mention, self-harm mention

Not really sure what to put for a content warning... I guess it's similar to fading or dormancy, so if that makes you uncomfortable or distressed, it may be best to skip this one.

I've been a lot more stressed lately. I get under- and over-stimulated so easily, my ticks are coming back, but I can't explain it to my parents and I really don't have anyone close to me IRL that I can trust wholly. Some days, I just feel trapped.

What's worse is my main support is slowly being cut off; my headmates. They're the only ones that understand and listen. But now, it's getting harder and harder to hear them. I think they can hear me, but I don't even know anymore. I don't want to lose them. They're my friends, family even, I can't fucking lose them.

I just. I'm so tired. Exhausted. No motivation. Stressed. Little to no self-esteem. I don't know what to do. I can't do anything. I just can't.