#constructive criticism

(Forgive me, poets😣🙏)

I’ve been reading a lot of poems in poetry communities on Tumblr, and there’s something that comes up a lot.

Most of the modern poems I read are easy to understand, immediate, and almost always centered on the self and one’s own feelings. They’re texts that are understood instantly, that require no pause or effort, that are simply felt.

There’s nothing wrong with writing from what one feels; in fact, it’s the most natural thing. But when it stops there, poetry starts to become predictable.

We live in an age where everything is just a click away: fast, clear, immediate. And that has also changed the way we read. I feel like we’re getting used to poetry that’s consumed quickly, just like everything else.

It feels as though we no longer want to demand anything of the reader.

And when something more symbolic or complex appears, it’s often dismissed as incoherent. Sometimes it just demands something we’re no longer used to giving: time.

I miss those poems that make you stop and think, reread, hesitate a little. The ones that don’t give you everything on a silver platter, the ones that go beyond the obvious.

Maybe it’s not that depth has disappeared, but that we’re increasingly less willing to dwell on it.

I believe that poetry can also be a space to lose yourself a little, to think more than we’re used to.

Maybe the problem isn't that those poems are difficult, but that we're getting too used to the easy stuff.

🥳 hooray constructive criticism

Okok

My one thought

The point allocation system is flawed for the type of game it’s trying to be

Before you do this to me listen

Know the difference, because if anyone’s ever told you that you can’t take criticism, you probably can, you just can’t (and shouldn’t have to) take someone’s unwarranted offensive insult.

Some reminders of what makes it constructive:

It comes with a suggestion for how to improve

It’s a criticism of something within your control that you’re capable of improving

It can be harsh and blunt, but still needs to be respectful

Considering I've spent years thinking, conceptualizing, writing, re-writing, and workshopping Ruler's Reach, I figure I'm rather qualified to address the subject of an "Empress Luz" AU at this point, and how I've seen it play out in fandom writings over the years.

I won't be going over how it's done in Swap AUs here because I think that is a fundamentally flawed premise to begin with. This will be going over the more usual alternative of Luz simply being taken in by Belos rather than Eda when she arrives on the Boiling Isles, of which there are generally two different varieties from what I've seen:

She arrives at the same time she does in canon but in the Emperor's castle instead of the Owl shack for whatever reason.

She arrives when she is much younger and is raised by Belos over the years.

This is gonna be part concept analysis as well as a show and character analysis to sort of express my thoughts on the matter, criteria of what I think can make this concept work (and a lot of stuff that doesn't) and just a general guideline for anyone who might be interested in exploring this sort of premise in their own art or writing. (Lots of yapping and analysis below)

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So first thing's first, the usual trend across Empress Luz AUs is that Luz is turned into a ruthless dictator, effectively just a Belos clone. There may be some differences, like her wanting to wipe out humanity instead of witches for some contrived reason, but the gist is the same. An oppressive tyrant who carries out terrible deeds in the name of staying in power and carrying out whatever nebulous goal the AU writer decided to give her. Does this sort of scenario make sense?

NO.

Like, sorry, but there ain't really any other way to put it: Trying to turn Luz as we know her into an actual, proper villain is just not really something that works. Let's first start off with the issue of practicality, and that's the fact that a Luz who starts out basically as her canon self is just gonna have too strong of a moral compass to genuinely fall towards some truly villainous path, especially one that is adjacent to what Belos does.

Now a better shot at making this viable is of course the "she came to the Isles when she was younger" route which would have given Belos several years to indoctrinate her at a more formative age. But even then, I doubt that scenario would be likely to put her on the path to being a genuine villain. Hunter is pretty good proof of this, and that's not even discussing the other grimwalkers, of which a good amount probably betrayed Belos after finding out the true depths of his villainy (Some might have betrayed him for more selfish reasons of course)

If Belos can't get the literal lab-grown copies of his brother that he had 400 years to practice manipulation tactics on and basically has full information control over to ever stick by his side, then I highly doubt he'd ever be able to brainwash Luz to such an extreme extent to follow his ideology. Literally the only way this is viable is if Belos raised Luz all the way from infancy, but at that point you basically would have created a completely new character with nothing that actually makes Luz, well Luz. And even then, I have my doubts he'd be able to pull it off.

And also, the idea of Luz enjoying the idea of being some oppressive dictator? Luz, the same person who grows riddled with guilt over her perceived mistakes and actions to the point of going into a catastrophic depressive spiral to the point she wished she never existed? That Luz? Frankly I think the idea of Luz ever enjoying being in a position similar to Belos would sicken her. The idea of being handed the title of ruler would make her uncomfortable at best and miserable at worst.

The second part is of course the themes of the show. As much as you'll see people try to draw narrative similarities between Luz and Belos, the truth of the matter is that whenever the show addresses Luz and Belos in relation to one another, it's to emphasize how Luz is nothing like Belos. Outside of being humans who use glyph magic (acquired through very different goals and means BTW) and wearing the jacket of someone they considered family for a time, an entire ocean of differences separate one from the other. Any similarities the two are claimed to have is entirely a product of Luz's self-loathing of Belos' obsession and projection rather than actual story-telling devices cluing us in. Luz is told multiple times by multiple characters that she isn't like Belos or as bad as him no matter how much she thinks herself as a villain. The entire point of the nightmare sequence in Watching and Dreaming was this perception Luz had of herself, a perception that isn't rooted in reality.

And finally, I hope we're all on the same page from my previous post on this topic that trying to shove the bisexual neurodivergent afro-latina protagonist that has been wronged by a system of bigotry and oppression so that she can fill the same antagonist role and act like the genocidal white colonizer who's entire deal is creating a system of bigotry and oppression is just not a good look y'all. I get people have the temptation to make the hero follow in the dark footsteps of the villain, but when the hero and villain are so explicitly meant to be based off real people and events, the whole idea just completely falls apart.

So in conclusion, this is the first thing we need to take into account when thinking about an Empress Luz AU: That Luz is a genuinely good person.

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However, there is also another aspect to take into account that just because Luz is a good person doesn't mean her being the ruler of the Boiling Isles should be framed as the solution to everyone's problems. Because the show makes it abundantly clear just how cruel and broken the whole system inherently is. The government Belos created was built around the ultimate goal of committing genocide. It doesn't matter if the next person who takes charge is the most kind-hearted person you could ever hope to find, that whole thing.

Cause in TOH, there is no "true heir" set up by the show to replace Belos when this is all said and done, as you will sometimes seen in a lot of these stories. The idea of the "one true ruler", either deemed so by their birthright or by their character, who will topple the dark lord and rule through peace and prosperity. But while TOH does have characters that could fall into either category (like King or Luz), it does not frame it as such. After Belos is defeated, the seemingly "destined" heroes live out normal lives.

There's a reason after defeating Belos, the show implies a much more representative and more democratic council of a government has been established on the Isles at this point, as indicated seemingly by what appears to be Titan skull pendants on Raine, Darius, and Eberwolf in the Epilogue.

So it's pretty clear me that the show is saying "dictatorship = bad" and it's better to just dismantle or heavily reform the whole system into something brand new, representative, and just than just try to put a nice autocrat in place and just hope things go well from there.

So that's the second point that needs to be considered: The entire point of Belos' empire is flawed and must be extinguished one way or another.

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The other thing I will sometimes see with Empress Luz AUs is this sort of take to make Luz a "misguided ruler". The idea she means well and wants to do good, but sometimes doesn't know how and causes more harm than good. This is usually the result of something like some leftover indoctrination on Belos' end or perhaps her own guilt, I've seen it done a number of ways. I do think this can work, but in moderation and up to a point. Luz does have a habit in the show (mainly early on) to sometimes grow overconfident with her plans and unintentionally causing issues for others, and sometimes not really thinking her plans through.

However, when other characters point this out, Luz is pretty quick to realize what she did wrong and try to make up for it. So the idea of Luz having this perception that she has a good plan to rule as Empress which leads to some mistakes and issues is something I can see. However, I do not think it's something that would be a running issue, and Luz would realize her faults and how to correct them. Now perhaps an Empress Luz might be less willing to budge than Canon Luz due to either some level of indoctrination or guilt, but nonetheless I don't see this being a longstanding issue. So that leaves us to our third point: That Luz has the awareness to realize the empire is bad, either from the start or something she learns later on

If anything, Hunter fits the bill of a misguided ruler better than Luz could in this scenario. We know he's a good person who genuinely means well, but we see just how in-denial he can be with stuff regarding Belos and the empire's true motives due to the extent of Belos' indoctrination. We see this pretty clearly in Hollow Mind where he is willing to call himself an idiot on a topic he claims he knows a lot about (mindscapes) to keep holding on to the idea that everything Belos does has a good reason behind it, something that only breaks after the reveal of Belos' endgame and how little the Emperor truly thinks of him and "their family". So it'd be a lot harder for him to open his mind to the thought that maybe the way he is governing is flawed until that sort of traumatic revelation is made evident in the story. That being said, I don't think Hunter would be a true villain either though.

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So in the end, the crux of the whole premise comes down to these three points reiterated.

Luz is an empathetic, kind, and understanding person who genuinely wants to do good and does do good.

The empire is an inherently bad system that needs to be dismantled eventually, no matter if the person in charge is a genuinely good person.

Luz has the awareness to understand that second point, either something she has from the very start or gains later on in the story.

Even with those "limitations", there's still a lot you can do with this premise that remains faithful to the show while still conveying a personal twist to the story that you wish. Already I can think of a number of different ways you can make an Empress Luz story while sticking to those general principles. Perhaps a scenario where Luz and Hunter are on the same page with running the empire but Luz grows out of this mindset and the two grow at odds with one another? Perhaps a scenario where a jaded Luz closer to her S3 personality decides to take the reigns of the empire by force and dismantle it brutally from the inside as she takes out the regime while simultaneously being an arbiter of good. Or perhaps she has no choice in the matter at all, forced to wear the crown through some external force. The possibilities are many and frankly quite varied!

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So...yeah. Dang that was a lot to cover. But those were my general thoughts on the concept as a whole that I've had on my mind for a long while. Now I've managed to actually articulate them into words for others to see. Hopefully this should be some food for thought for any writers or artists who want to do explore this concept and do justice by the show.

I've seen people in comment sections complaining about Rick criticism/rants accusing them of not being "constructive" enough. I don't think every criticism or rant needs to be constructive in order to be valid, especially on Tumblr which is, at the end of the day, a glorified public diary. But! I thought of making a post about how Rick could've written better representation, basing myself on the mistakes I believe he has made.

1. Be Specific

In my opinion, representation has better odds of being accurate, genuine, and respectful when the author values depth and specificity over range and generalisation. Mainly because:

It avoids dehumanisation. When an author attempts to be specific (e.g. the difference between writing a character who is Arab and writing a character who is a Christian Kabyle), it kind of forces them to avoid generalising large groups of people as the 'same' and promotes more individualisation.

It feels more sincere. When an author wants to use the diversity trump card to appeal to a wider audience (or simply pat themselves on the back for being such an inclusive person), you can easily spot it. It's these 2000s shows with the mandatory Token Minority. When an author tries to be specific on the other hand, it usually means they will appeal to a smaller audience. The more specific you get, the less likely everyone will be able to identify to a character to the same degree... but hey, maybe if shows can create a main cast with a blond white guy and a ginger white guy then maybe it's time to create several representation instead of placing that burden on one character just to meet the quota.

It encourages more in-depth research. The more specific a character is, the less inaccuracies an author can get away with. That means there will usually be more research involved, because the author has a stronger incentive to get it right. It may become discouraging if they get it wrong but it will limit the issues that I'll talk about in Section 2.

I'll give him that, Rick has been quite specific a couple of times, for example with Hazel who he seems to have a very clear picture (though perhaps a little stereotypical) of her upbringing. A Black-American teenage girl from 1930s New Orleans? Not everyone may relate to her at the same degree or for the same reasons, but that makes her feel a little more authentic and genuine than... other of Rick's representation.

It might be ironic, but I believe characters who were never meant to represent everyone (e.g. Hazel wasn't meant to singlehandedly represent every Black person) are those who end up giving the most satisfying representation. Because they aren't vague, quasi-blank slate that act as vessel for anyone that the author wished to represent (e.g. The Gay, The Lesbian, The Asian Kid).

Specificity does not always, automatically, make great representation though. Other factors can make it or break it.

But specificity over ambiguosity will always be a good start. So congrats to Rick for the few times where he attempted that... and may he do this more consistently with his future representation (this includes the PJO show).

2. Research, Research, Research

Extensive resesarch is and always will be a green flag.

No one can deny that Rick has done some degree of research, but if there is anything I can reproach this guy, it's either not doing enough or believing he did enough. You never research enough.

To write Piper, for example, Rick cites Myths of the Cherokees by Mooney (who was not Cherokee himself but lived with the Cherokee people for many years) and Cherokee Nation by Conley. Which are both very valid sources and bravo to Rick for taking his time to read these.

Yet... the extensiveness of his research is quite unequal. You can't convince me that Rick spent as much time researching for Leo as he did for Piper.

Which is why I think Rick would have benefitted from being a little more specific about Leo's upbringing. Yes, he is Mexican and grew up in Texas, but there are so many vastly different groups of Mexicans. Is he Mestizo? Afro-Mexican? White Mexican? Indigenous Mexican? And from which state is Sammy or his parents from? If you played a game of spot the differences between someone from Michoacán and, say, Jalisco, the game would never end. It's like saying someone is from the US... that's not helpful at all when you research and write them! You're bound to create an inaccurate at best, stereotypical and offensive caricature at worst. Just the tiniest bit of specificity could have helped Rick write Leo! I swear!

Same with Rick's obvious bias towards Hazel despite Frank being, too, a POV protagonist. I mean, Rick did not even bother to write his full name in the correct order! It was a small mistake that I spotted on my reread of SoN, but it's the details that make the difference. If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's a memory where Frank's grandmother calls him "Fai Zhang" rather than "Zhang Fai". Which was... so avoidable? All Rick needed was bare minimum research about surname conventions. Like, it's common knowledge that the surname goes first in most East Asian countries?? Especially since this is Frank's grandmother we're talking about, who is proudly Chinese and would not make this mistake had Rick know about this.

This is what I mean by assuming you've done enough research. You've never done enough research. If Rick was to write his characters all over again, I'd expand his definition of "enough research" from history books to... :

Stereotypes, stigmas and myths debunking sources. (Always important to check your own biases as early as possible!! More on this in Section 3)

Unofficial blogs and social media posts created by the people (this is faciliated today with the unprecedented accessibility of online blogging and content creation).

Struggles that the people could be going through (even if you're not intending to write about these battles in the story, it's always useful to practice empathy. More on this in Section 4).

Reaching out to someone from that group of people (if possible, some barries like geography, time, money, opportunity or language may factor in).

Hire a sensitivity readers (which weren't a thing in the 2000s-2010s but still).

Looking up and appreciating artworks created by the people (why did Piper choose to sing Summertime instead of the rattlesnake song which grandpa Tom had announced almost prophetically that she was born to sing?)

Anything else that might get you to appreciate the people more. Fashion trends, traditional cuisine, slang and expressions, historical heroes, etc...

[Note: to avoid redundancies, I wrote "the people" instead of "the people you're trying to represent". Also, I may have used Piper as an example but this applies to all of Rick's representation, whether it concerns race, culture, sexuality, mental or physical disability, mental health disorder, religion, or even subculture such as being punk.]

3. Check Your Biases

If Rick did so much research... how come he still ended up writing so many stereotypes and inaccuracies with his characters?

How come Leo is the overly flirtatious Latino guy who calls girls "mamacita"? How come Hazel is both adultified and infantilised at the same time? How come Frank is the only demigod with no learning disability? How come Piper's body is so sexualised compared to other female characters from Rick's series?

Where did Rick go wrong in his research, and why did he end up reinforcing stereotypes instead of breaking them? Because, surely, if he had done his research right he would've known that eagle feathers are sacred to the Cherokee people and can't be worn by anyone at anytime, and he sure would've known about the negative implications of adultifying and sexualising Native American girls and women (trigger warning for this link: discussions of s*xual v*lence).

He would've known about the (positive, but still) stereotype of smart Asian kids, he would've known about the abusive family stereotype of Latin American households, he would've known better than to write a bisexual boy with a wandering eye (death to Will "bisexual chaos" Solace).

4. Practice Empathy

... I think the title of this section speaks for itself. I would recommend to avoid representing a group of people that you passionately hate for some reason or another, or that you cannot see as humans. You should definitely investigate why you hate them and check your biases but preferrably not begin to write a character from that group with your hatred towards them still in your heart.

A good substitute (or formula) for empathy would be a combination of curiosity and admiration. Curiosity will drive you to see research as a hobby rather than a necessity or a chore. Admiration will drive you to seek to represent that group in a positive light.

That's also where I think looking up the struggles that a community or group is facing (even if you don't intend to write a story about that or touching on that) could be helpful. Usually having a clearer idea of what someone else might be facing can help build sympathy for them, whether you can recognise your own struggles in theirs or not.

Conclusion

Maul completely sabotaged any chance of a real bond with Devon the moment he caused her master’s death. He became the very thing he claimed to despise instantly, without hesitation or reflection. That betrayal basically locked in the trajectory of Season 2. Devon, regardless if she becomes Talon or not, will eventually learn the truth and turn on him without a second thought. Devon already has no reason to trust him. Once she learns he was responsible for the death of the closest thing she had to a parent, she won’t hesitate to turn on him.

It is unfortunate because the finale could’ve been devastating in a compelling way had the psychological fallout from Episode 8 actually pushed Maul to try something new to consciously reject Sidious’ teachings. To attempt, for once, to protect someone instead of destroying everything they love to break them down into submission. To not want Devon as a sith apprentice. To not want to break down Devon's heart and soul into his sith apprentice as Sidious did to him.

Picture Maul trying to keep Daki alive for Devon’s sake, only to fail because Vader overwhelms him. Or Daki insisting Maul take Devon and run, choosing to face Vader alone to buy them time. A sacrifice, not a betrayal. This could have forced Maul into making a major choice; honoring Daki's choice of sacrifice and take Devon and try to be a better substitute for her, or reject Daki's request and protect him in vain. A tragedy shaped by circumstance, not Maul’s manipulation.

Either path would’ve revealed something raw about him.

If he honors Daki’s sacrifice, it’s the first time Maul chooses someone else’s will over his own rage and trauma. It’s him breaking the cycle Sidious carved into him, choosing to protect Devon because it is the right thing to do, not because it serves his own vendetta.

If he defies that request and tries to protect Daki, only to fail, it’s an even sharper break: Maul choosing loyalty and compassion over survival, staying to protect someone he respects, even when it’s doomed. He still fails, Daki still dies, but the attempt itself shows a Maul capable of connection rather than manipulation.

Devon would still be shattered. But Maul wouldn’t be the architect of her trauma and his own downfall, and that single shift would open the door to a far more complex, believable relationship between them. Trust wouldn’t be guaranteed, but it wouldn’t be impossible either. THEN later on, Maul can revert to his old ways when everything fails. But have Maul try. Have Maul attempt to be different, not good or kind, just different. And have him fail and explore how that failure affects him in the long run.