#constantine x reader

Dick Grayson:

Dick erupts into laughter before his lips have even touched yours, throwing his head back. His tanned throat bobs with the sound, bare skin slightly glistening from the sunscreen he’d put on earlier.

“See?” He shakes his head, “I can’t even get close to you without you getting all flustered.”

You only frown, shoving him away from you. In any other situation, you’d be fine. It’s just Dick, after all. But it’s being here—outside the pool, in the sweltering heat, Dick shirtless and shiny and tanned and looking at you like he wants to eat you alive—that’s killing you.

“Am not.”

“We’re lying now, are we?”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down on your chair and taking a big sip of water to quench the heat in your veins. “It’s hot out here. That’s all.”

“It’s boiling,” Jason agrees, finally returning with the pile of towels he said he’d get ages ago.

You look at him, his own muscled chest and big arms, and then back to Dick. You rise to your feet slowly and Dick’s head snaps up, gears turning behind his eyes. He knows what’s about to happen just as much as you do.

“Hey, Jason.”

“Hm?”

Dick steps forwards. You inch closer to his brother. Jason looks at you in confusion, then glances at Dick behind you, and smirks.

You rub a gentle hand up his bicep and Jason suddenly pulls you in, eyes locked with Dick’s over your shoulder. You latch your fingers behind his neck and pull him down to you, lips moving against his in a perfect rhythm. The taste of the watermelon he’d been eating and the remnants of his protein shake this morning flood your mouth.

You make a big show of pulling away, unfurling yourself from Jason and turning around to face Dick who looks like he’s about ready to kill the both of you.

“See?” You gesture to your face, “not flustered.”

“Not funny,” Dick says.

Jason laughs behind you.

Wally West:

Wally’s grinning ear to ear when he pulls away from you, the freckles on his cheeks dusted in pink. His hand still rests on the small of your back, his other palm laying idly on the side of your arm.

You take a deep breath, eyes still shut as your mind runs circles around itself to keep up with what just happened. Wally kissed you. Wally kissed you. You blink.

He cocks his head to the side. “Did I get you all hot and bothered?” 

“No.” Yes.

“Mhm, whatever you say, sweetheart.”

The nickname sends tingles down your spine, the heat that was already rushing through your body growing tenfold. You press a hand to his chest, the two of you still close enough together that your lips could touch again, before pushing yourself off of him.

“In your dreams, West.” You stumble over your own feet, your cool entrance looking less and less suave by the minute. “I don’t get hot and bothered.”

“What about being hot and bothered?”

It’s just your luck that Roy Harper has to stumble into the room, still glistening with sweat from his workout, thick arms poking out through his tanktop. He grins goofily, eyes flicking between you and Wally to make sense of the situation.

“You know what?” You say, taking a step towards Roy.

Wally sees the mischief in your eyes, swallows hard at the way you’ve started grinning.

“I’ll prove it to you.”

And before either man can say anything, you’re grabbing Roy by the front of his shirt and tugging him into you, smashing your lips on his. He tastes like the pineapple electrolytes he keeps in his water bottle, an aftertaste of smoke and cedar resting on your tongue.

You pull away, immediately looking over your shoulder to face the other redhead. Wally’s frowning, jealousy twisting in his gut like a knife. He crosses his arms over his chest, his own biceps flexing.

“What was that for?” Roy breathes, all rosy cheeks and a breathless grin.

“To prove a point.”

Without saying anything else, you detach yourself from Roy and head to the door, satisfied at having proved your point.

“I’m better!” Wally shouts, “come back here and I’ll show you!”

Roy just stands there, still stunned. “What the hell just happened?”

Bruce Wayne:

Bruce is more than satisfied with himself when he pulls away from you, his taut grip loosening. He straightens himself up, adjusting his cowl back on his head.

“That distracted you,” he notes.

You shake your head but it’s clear from the way he’s looking at you, he doesn’t believe it for a second. You’re all swollen lips and warmth and breathlessness, and Bruce is a picture of perfect composure. It’s embarrassing, really.

“I’m not distracted.”

He fiddles with the gloves of his costume, the darkness of the Batcave hiding what it is exactly he’s messing with. “This is what I was talking about. It’s a liability.”

“It’s nothing,” you snap, adjusting your own costume. “Kissing isn’t a liability for me.”

He stays quiet but you see it on his lips, the slight disapproving frown beneath his mask. 

There’s a loud sigh behind you, marking Clark’s arrival. “And here I thought you two were finally getting along.”

The idea comes to your mind before the taller man is even done speaking. Clark is perfect for what you need him for, a pallet cleanser to wash away the intensity that is Bruce.

“Clark?” You ask.

He tilts his head to the side, smiling warmly. “What?”

“Don’t.” Bruce warns.

You ignore him anyway, stepping up to the Kryptonian and snaking your arms around his shoulders before tugging him down to your level. You smash your lips against his, beckoning him in closer with your arms, absorbing his taste. He’s sweet and stable and moves against you carefully, like he’s not quite sure he should be doing this.

You pull away, suppressing a laugh when you see Clark’s flushed cheeks and goofy smile. Turning to face Bruce, you gesture to yourself for emphasis.

“See? No liability.”

Bruce only scowls.

John Constantine:

“Your heart’s racing,” John mumbles, lips hovering just above your ear. “You sure you’ve been kissed before?” “You’re not funny.”

“I’m genuinely asking, love.”

You push him away from you, eyes rolling back. “My heart’s not racing, you liar.”

“Someone seems awfully flustered.”

“I’m not flustered.”

He smirks, gesturing to your slightly disheveled appearance. “You’re not?”

“You’re seeing things.”

Still, you mess with the hem of your pants just a little bit, smoothing down the wrinkles in your shirt. In truth, your heart is beating pretty fast, heat burning beneath your skin wherever he touched you.   

“Seeing things again, Constantine?” Zatanna is smirking when she enters the room.

John scoffs. “What do you mean, ‘again’?”   

Zatanna comes up behind you, slinging an arm over your shoulders. The scent of her body spray, sweet and fruity and expensive, floods your nostrils. You blink and something clicks in your mind.

“Is he giving you a hard time?” She asks.

You nod, turning to look at her with pleading eyes. Her own eyes narrow slightly, darting to look at John before looking back at you. She doesn’t say anything but the way she smiles tells you she knows.

You cup the side of her face and pull her in, moving your own head forward to brush your lips against hers. The taste of her lipgloss lingers on your tongue, her lips soft and warm and smooth against yours. 

You pull away, your heart racing just a little more than it was before, suddenly grateful that John’s hearing isn’t what it used to be.

“See?” You say, satisfied, “you’re seeing things.”

His own cheeks are pinkened, eyes widened and looking between the two of you. “That’s just not fair, love.”

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ALL WORKS :

Bruce Wayne aka. Batman

- You didn’t mean to do it. Well, that’s a lie. You absolutely meant to do it. The way Bruce’s broad, suited figure strode past you in the Batcave was simply too tempting. There he was, the epitome of brooding composure, running a hand through his dark hair as he mulled over crime scene reports. Without much thought, your hand acted on instinct. Smack. The sound echoed through the cavern like a gunshot. Bruce stopped mid-step. Slowly, he turned his head, an arched eyebrow lifting to meet his ever-present scowl. "Really?" he asked, voice calm but laced with that unmistakable Wayne edge.

- His reaction wasn’t anger, though you could see the faintest twitch of amusement in the corner of his mouth. You, the only one in Gotham—or perhaps the world—who could dare to breach his stoicism with something so mundane as a playful swat. You crossed your arms, feigning innocence, though your smirk betrayed you. “What? Just testing your reflexes, Mr. Wayne.” He took a slow step toward you, his shadow sprawling like a cloak. “I thought you’d want to keep that hand intact,” he murmured, but there was warmth in his voice that belied the threat.

- Bruce never let much show, but you knew the man beneath the cowl better than anyone. As much as he loved his mission, as much as he carried Gotham on his weary shoulders, he loved you more. There was no hiding the way his stern exterior softened around you, how his dark eyes gleamed with affection when he thought you weren’t looking. And now, despite his unflinching persona, you saw a flicker of vulnerability in the way he lingered near, uncertain if he should let himself laugh.

- “Next time,” he finally said, his voice low, “make sure Alfred isn’t around to hear it.” His lips quirked into the barest smile before he turned back to the Batcomputer. Yet, as he walked away, you could swear he slowed his stride, almost as if daring you to do it again. You didn’t, of course. Not then. But the idea of Gotham’s Dark Knight flustered by a simple smack was too delicious to forget. And Bruce knew it.

Clark Kent (Kal-El) aka. Superman

- Clark didn’t see it coming. How could he, when he was too busy carrying three bags of groceries in each hand and balancing a box of pastries in the crook of his elbow? You watched him shuffle toward the kitchen counter, his broad shoulders filling the doorway, his wholesome, Midwestern charm radiating even in the simplest acts. As he passed, you couldn’t resist. Smack. The clap of your hand against his ridiculously perfect backside made him jump slightly, the pastries nearly tumbling from his grip. “Hey!” he exclaimed, spinning around, cheeks flushed pink.

- For someone faster than a speeding bullet, Clark sure could get caught off guard by you. His face was an endearing mix of surprise and bashfulness, and you swore the man looked like he’d just been scolded by Ma Kent herself. “What was that for?” he asked, his voice filled with genuine confusion but also a hint of laughter. You shrugged, batting your lashes. “Couldn’t resist. You’re carrying so much cake, after all.” He groaned at the pun but couldn’t keep from smiling.

- Clark, despite his extraordinary origins, was at his core a simple man. A man who loved sharing quiet evenings with you, cooking together, and pretending the world didn’t need him for a little while. He was also devastatingly kind, a trait that extended to how he loved you—with full-hearted sincerity and no room for doubt. So when he looked at you now, shaking his head with a chuckle, you knew he wasn’t really annoyed.

- “You’re unbelievable,” he said, placing the pastries safely on the counter. Then, faster than you could blink, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close with that impossible strength. “But if you’re going to tease, you’d better be prepared to deal with the consequences.” His grin was all boyish mischief as he tickled your sides, your laughter ringing through the kitchen. You swore he let you win when you finally broke free. Clark Kent, the strongest man alive, completely at your mercy.

Barry Allen aka. Flash

- Barry didn’t even stop moving. You were sure he noticed, though, because as you walked past him in the hallway and your hand made contact with his backside, he nearly tripped over his own feet. For the Flash, that was saying something. “Did you just—” he started, spinning to face you. His words were drowned out by your laughter as he stood there, red-faced and wide-eyed, his usual chatter momentarily short-circuited.

- “What?” you asked innocently, though your grin betrayed you. Barry spluttered for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “I—I wasn’t expecting that!” he managed, his voice pitching higher than usual. You loved how easy it was to fluster him, even though he was one of the smartest, fastest people in the world. “You’ve got to work on your reaction time, hero,” you teased, winking as you sauntered away.

- Barry’s mind was racing, as it always did, but now it wasn’t just thoughts of his latest case or some quantum theory experiment. No, now it was you—how you could so effortlessly knock him off balance with a single playful act. He adored you for it, for the way you brought lightness and humor into his often chaotic, exhausting life. You were his anchor, his calm in the storm of velocity and danger.

- Later, when he zipped into the living room with snacks for your movie night, he couldn’t resist a little payback. As he placed the bowl of popcorn on the table, he leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear. “Tag,” he whispered, and before you could respond, he darted away, leaving a gentle swat on your hip in his wake. Your laughter followed him, echoing in the space he’d just vacated. Barry might be the fastest man alive, but you were the one who always left him breathless.

Diana of Themyscira aka. Wonder Woman

- You didn’t think it was possible to catch Diana off guard. The Amazon princess was grace and power personified, her every movement deliberate, her every action precise. But when you passed her in the sunlit garden and gave her a cheeky smack, she stopped mid-step. Her head turned slowly, her azure eyes narrowing as her lips curled into a knowing smirk. “Did you just strike a warrior?” she asked, her voice a blend of amusement and mock reprimand.

- “A warrior with impeccable form,” you shot back, bold as ever. Diana’s laughter rang out, melodic and warm, her posture relaxing as she faced you fully. “You’re fortunate I consider this an act of affection,” she teased, stepping closer. The sunlight caught her dark hair, casting her in an almost ethereal glow. She was intimidating and beautiful, a goddess among mortals, yet in this moment, she was utterly human—and yours.

- Diana loved how unafraid you were of her strength, her presence. So many treated her like a distant, untouchable figure, but you reminded her that she was more than her titles or her mission. You made her laugh, you challenged her, and you weren’t afraid to be playful with her—even when it came to something as bold as this. She admired your spirit, your fire, the way you met her gaze without hesitation.

- “You realize,” she said, her tone mock-serious as she closed the gap between you, “that this is an invitation for retaliation.” Before you could react, her arms wrapped around you, lifting you effortlessly off the ground. Her laughter joined yours as she spun you once before setting you back down. “Careful, my love,” she warned, pressing a kiss to your temple. “A warrior never forgets.” But the smile on her lips promised she’d never stop loving your daring nature.

Arthur Curry aka. Aquaman

- You should have known better than to smack Arthur Curry as he walked past, the salty scent of the sea clinging to him like a second skin. The man was built like a fortress, with muscles that rippled beneath his tank top and a stride that exuded the confidence of a king. As your hand connected with his backside, the smack echoed through the cozy beach house you shared. Arthur stopped mid-step, his broad shoulders tensing. Slowly, he turned his head, a grin spreading across his rugged, sun-kissed face. “You sure you want to start this game, love?”

- He set down the fishing net he’d been carrying, his piercing green eyes narrowing playfully as he took a deliberate step toward you. You couldn’t help but laugh, holding your ground even as he loomed closer, his smirk promising trouble. “I couldn’t resist,” you said, your voice light. “It’s not every day a queen gets to remind her king who’s really in charge.” Arthur barked out a laugh, the sound deep and rich like the ocean waves outside. “Oh, is that so?” he rumbled, his hands finding his hips.

- Arthur loved your boldness, the way you matched his fiery spirit without hesitation. You were one of the few people who could keep up with him—whether it was challenging his quick temper, teasing his authority, or standing beside him when the burdens of two worlds weighed heavily on his shoulders. You weren’t afraid of his strength, his power, or the scars that told the story of his battles. Instead, you met him head-on, reminding him of the joy and levity he often forgot.

- “Alright,” he said finally, leaning down until his face was inches from yours, his grin widening. “But just remember—you started it.” Before you could react, his large hand swatted your hip, the playful strike making you gasp and laugh at the same time. “That’s for round one,” he teased, straightening as he headed toward the kitchen. “Let’s see if you’ve got the guts for round two.” You watched him go, shaking your head. King of the seas? More like king of cheeky comebacks.

Hal Jordan aka. Green Lantern

- You didn’t even plan it. Hal Jordan had been walking past, cocky as ever in his flight jacket, tossing his keys onto the counter with that easy swagger that made your heart race and your patience thin in equal measure. Before you knew it, your hand moved of its own accord. Smack. The sound was sharp, and Hal froze, mid-step, his head snapping toward you. For a moment, his mouth opened, but no sound came out. Then, finally, he broke into a grin. “Well, hello to you too,” he said, his voice dripping with amusement.

- Hal was never one to back down from a challenge, and you knew that all too well. “Careful,” he warned, his green eyes sparkling as he took a slow step toward you. “You’re playing with fire here, gorgeous.” You shrugged, feigning innocence. “Oh, please. If you’re so tough, you should be able to handle a little pat on the back. Or… elsewhere.” His laughter was immediate, loud and free, filling the room like music. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, you know that?”

- That was what Hal adored about you. He’d spent so much of his life surrounded by danger and responsibility—whether it was saving the universe as Green Lantern or pulling insane aerial stunts as a test pilot. But you? You were his gravity, his reminder that life wasn’t all about proving himself. You made him laugh in a way no one else could, and even when you pushed his buttons, he couldn’t help but fall a little more in love with you each time.

- “Alright,” he said, slipping his jacket off and tossing it onto the couch. “You wanna play dirty? Let’s play dirty.” Before you could react, Hal’s ring glowed, and a green construct of a feather appeared in his hand. “Let’s see how tough you are when the tables turn.” You squealed, darting behind the couch as he followed, grinning like a kid in a candy store. Hal Jordan might be fearless, but you knew his real weakness—your laugh, your smile, your ability to keep him on his toes.

Oliver Queen aka. Green Arrow

- Oliver Queen barely flinched when your hand smacked his backside as he walked past the kitchen counter, a bow slung over his shoulder. Instead, he stopped, cocking his head to the side with a slow smirk spreading across his handsome, scruffy face. “Well, that’s one way to get my attention,” he drawled, turning to face you. His emerald-green eyes sparkled with mischief, and you could already tell he was plotting some form of retaliation. “Should I be worried, or was that just your way of saying ‘good shot’?”

- “You’ve been spending too much time in the field,” you teased, crossing your arms and leaning against the counter. “Thought I’d remind you who really has the aim around here.” Oliver laughed, the sound warm and rich as he set his bow down carefully. “Oh, really? You think you can out-shoot me and out-smart me in my own house?” His tone was playful, but you knew the archer in him couldn’t resist a challenge.

- Oliver loved that about you—your boldness, your fire, the way you never let him take himself too seriously. It was a rare gift to be able to break through the walls he built around himself, the layers of guilt and responsibility he carried as Star City’s protector. But you didn’t just break through; you tore those walls down with humor, love, and a fearlessness that matched his own. You reminded him of the man beneath the hood, the one who still knew how to laugh and love.

- “Alright,” he said, stepping closer and resting his hands on either side of the counter, trapping you in place. “But just so we’re clear—if this is your idea of flirting, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve too.” Before you could respond, he leaned in and kissed you deeply, stealing your breath and your smugness all at once. When he pulled back, his grin was pure Oliver Queen. “Your move, pretty bird.”

John Constantine aka. Hellblazer

- When your hand smacked John Constantine’s backside, his reaction was immediate—a sharp intake of breath, followed by a low, throaty chuckle that promised trouble. He turned to face you, cigarette dangling from his lips, his trench coat swirling slightly with the motion. “Well, well, love,” he drawled, his voice tinged with that unmistakable cockney accent. “Didn’t think you had it in you. Careful now—you’re playing with fire.”

- “Oh, please,” you shot back, smirking. “You deal with demons, curses, and apocalyptic prophecies daily. You can handle a little slap.” His grin widened, and he took a step closer, the scent of tobacco and leather surrounding you. “You’ve got some cheek, you know that?” he said, taking the cigarette from his mouth and flicking the ash into the tray. “But that’s why I keep you around. Keeps me on my toes.”

- John wasn’t used to this—lightness, laughter, love. His life was a whirlwind of darkness and chaos, and yet, somehow, you had wormed your way into his blackened heart. You brought him peace in a way no spell or sigil ever could. And while he’d never admit it outright, he adored the way you challenged him, kept him grounded, and gave him something to fight for beyond his own self-loathing.

- “But fair warning, darling,” he said, his voice dropping to that low, gravelly tone that sent shivers down your spine, “I don’t play fair.” Before you could react, he whispered a quick spell under his breath, and suddenly, your shoes were glued to the floor. “There,” he said with a wink, taking a drag of his cigarette. “Let’s see if you’re still so bold when you can’t run away.” Your laughter filled the room as he walked off, his shoulders shaking with amusement. Classic Constantine—always one step ahead, but always hopelessly smitten with you.

Roy Harper aka. Arsenal

- You really couldn’t resist. Roy Harper had been strutting around the apartment like he owned the place, shirtless, a bow slung across his back, humming some old rock tune under his breath. His cocky energy was palpable, and when he passed by you in the living room, it was instinctive. Smack. Your hand connected with his jean-clad backside, and the sound was sharp enough to cut through his off-key singing. Roy froze, turning slowly with a look of mock betrayal. “Did you just…? Oh, you’re really asking for it now, gorgeous.”

- You leaned back against the couch, smirking. “What? Just checking if Arsenal’s reflexes are still sharp.” Roy placed a hand on his hip, pointing at you with the other. “You’re lucky I didn’t just shoot an arrow in surprise,” he teased, though the grin tugging at his lips made it clear he was anything but annoyed. “But fine. If we’re doing this, let me warn you—I don’t fight fair.”

- Roy loved that you didn’t take him too seriously. In a life full of chaos, mistakes, and battles, you were his sanctuary, the one person who could knock him off his pedestal in the best way. Your playful antics reminded him that not everything had to be about proving himself or fighting the next big battle. You were his partner in every sense of the word—his laughter, his balance, his home.

- “Alright, beautiful,” he said, dropping the bow and cracking his knuckles. “You know what happens when you mess with me, right?” Before you could react, he pounced, pinning you to the couch in an exaggerated wrestling move that had both of you laughing uncontrollably. “This is justice!” he declared dramatically, tickling your sides until you were begging for mercy. Roy Harper was impossible, but then again, so were you, and you wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Koriand’r aka. Starfire

- The reaction was immediate. As your hand connected with Koriand’r’s backside while she passed you in the hallway, she stopped mid-step, her fiery hair glowing faintly as it caught the light. Slowly, she turned to face you, her wide green eyes blinking in confusion. “Was that… an Earth custom of affection?” she asked, her tone curious but tinged with amusement. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, her innocent confusion melting any attempt at feigned innocence. “Sure, Kori. It’s totally a custom. Very common.”

- Kori tilted her head, a thoughtful expression crossing her beautiful features. “How interesting,” she said, stepping closer to you. “On Tamaran, we express affection with embraces, kisses, and occasionally by flying into the air with loved ones. But this… this is new. I like it!” Her radiant smile made your heart flutter, and you could see the mischief spark in her gaze. “Does this mean I can do it back?”

- You adored how open and loving Kori was. She embraced life with the same passion she brought to battle, and her joy was contagious. Loving her meant constantly learning to see the world through her eyes, where every experience—big or small—was worth celebrating. You could never get enough of the way she made even the smallest moments feel like an adventure.

- “You may want to prepare yourself!” she declared suddenly, her arms wrapping around you in a warm, powerful embrace. Before you could protest, she lifted you effortlessly off the ground, spinning you in circles as laughter bubbled out of both of you. When she finally set you down, she pressed a kiss to your forehead and gave you a playful tap on your backside. “This is a wonderful custom!” she declared with a bright giggle. You’d created a monster, and you couldn’t have been happier about it.

Kara Zor-El aka. Supergirl

- Kara Zor-El nearly dropped the bowl of popcorn she was carrying when your hand smacked her backside. Nearly. Her Kryptonian reflexes kicked in, and she saved the snack, spinning around with a look of wide-eyed disbelief. “Did you just…?!” she stammered, her cheeks flushing a deep red. You leaned casually against the counter, biting back a grin. “What? Just making sure Earth’s strongest woman doesn’t have any blind spots.”

- “Blind spots?!” Kara exclaimed, placing the bowl down with exaggerated care. “You’re lucky I don’t fly you straight into the stratosphere for that.” But the way she crossed her arms and pouted made it clear she wasn’t actually upset. If anything, she was flustered—adorably so. “You’re impossible, you know that?” she muttered, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her.

- Kara loved how comfortable you were around her. So many people treated her like a symbol or a savior, but you just treated her like Kara. You teased her, laughed with her, and never let her powers overshadow the fact that she was just a girl trying to navigate life on a new planet. Being with you grounded her, reminded her that even superheroes deserved to let their guard down and have fun.

- “Fine,” she said finally, her lips quirking into a mischievous grin. “But don’t think I won’t get you back.” Before you could respond, she darted forward at super-speed, giving your side a playful nudge that sent you stumbling into the couch. She was back in her original spot before you could blink, arms crossed and a victorious smirk on her face. “Kryptonians don’t lose, you know,” she teased, her laughter filling the room.

Slade Wilson aka. Deathstroke

- You weren’t entirely sure what possessed you to do it. Slade Wilson wasn’t exactly known for his sense of humor, but as he passed you in the training room, his armor catching the dim light, the temptation was too strong. Your hand smacked his backside, the sound loud in the otherwise quiet space. He stopped immediately, his head turning just enough for his single visible eye to lock onto you. The sharp, dangerous glint in his gaze made your heart race. “You’re braver than I thought,” he said, his voice a low, gravelly rumble.

- “And you’re slower than I thought,” you shot back, unable to resist. His brow arched, and you could see the corner of his mouth twitch—was that amusement? “Careful,” he warned, stepping closer, his imposing frame casting a long shadow. “You might find out just how fast I can be.” Despite his intimidating presence, you refused to back down, crossing your arms and smirking up at him. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”

- Slade had always admired your boldness. In a world where most people either feared him or tried to use him, you were a refreshing change. You didn’t treat him like a weapon or a monster—you saw the man beneath the mask, the one who carried the weight of too many sins. Your audacity, your fire, reminded him of the parts of himself he thought he’d buried long ago.

Aquaman -[ROMANTIC]

He would freeze as you slumped into his arms, before rearranging you into a more comfortable position whilst ignoring all the jealous stares he’s getting from his coworkers. He would bundle you up and just carry you around in like a baby sling. You are encompassed by blanket and beefy muscle, where he goes you must follow. He even takes you with him on missions, but by then he’s rearranged the blanket sling to be on his back. Arthur Curry is like softly obsessed with you, not yandere, but like obsessed in the way that he just wants to be close to you and will ignore anything and everything if you so much as stir. Speaking of you stirring, this man doesn’t really care if someone wakes you up. His focus is on you, calming you with soft whispered words and gentle touches to the face, brushing away loose hair. Like I said, the man’s enamoured.

Bane -[ROMANTIC]

Would not move. He could easily bring you with him wherever he goes but to him, your comfort is his priority. And to be fair, you’ve used him like a jungle gym so this isn’t really that crazy for his goons. Bane would take all meetings and updates from right where he had sat before you climbed into his lap. Unlike a lot of the others on this list, you didn’t accidentally fall asleep on him. You did it on purpose. No one can blame you, he gives the best cuddles and is just the perfect balance between warm and firm that just knocks you the fuck out. You need sleep? Bane’s arms are already open, waiting for you. Though if anyone woke you up or was being too loud, he would kill them with one hand. Like snap their neck whilst cuddling you close to him, no one disturbs his sunshine. His goons have learnt to whisper their reports and tiptoe down corridors.

Batman -[PLATONIC]

This might upset some people, but I think Batman just has a platonic neutrality with you, not romantic. He gets a headache when he’s working with or against you because he knows he’s got to baby-proof the Batmobile and holding cell you’ll eventually go to. However, you also lower his walls which is super rare for Bruce. He is your number 1 snuggle buddy, against his will. For some reason, your yawns (perfected with the cartoonish snot bubble that pops and wakes you up) are like chloroform to him. As soon as he hears it, it takes like two seconds before he’s gone to sleepy land. This has happened so much that whenever he is on a mission concerning you, he has to have a chaperone so he doesn’t sleep. If the two of you happened to fall asleep next to each other, Bruce is most likely laying his head on yours with his arm around your shoulders. His kids try and bribe you to record your yawns so they can get him to have a regular sleep schedule.

Catwoman -[ROMANTIC]

She is the one grabbing you and putting you in her lap. Most likely you were walking past her and she just grabbed your waist before pulling you into her body. No matter how much you squirm you can’t evade her hold. She all but purrs as you give in and bask in her attention. She pinches and pokes you occasionally, just to hear your reactions. When you eventually get bored enough to sleep, she just watches you breathe. Like Arthur, she’s lowkey obsessed. Again, not yandere. But more kind of her checking you’re alive. Though her counting your breathes is a bit overkill. She doesn’t stop you from being woken up because it’s not like she’s going to let you go any time soon. Plus it gives her a chance to tease you over drooling or sleep talking. Would absolutely hold it above your head if you mumble her name whilst asleep.

Constantine -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]

I can kind of see this being either way, just because you would be the type of little freak that I can see Constantine being attracted to only to have his inner monologue go ‘WHY?!’. He’s just kind of confused but decides to just go along with it, he’s seen worse. He’s another member of the Chronic Insomniac Club. It’s always just another case or just another spell, wearing himself thin until he just collapses on his sofa and sleeps for like 4 days straight. Having a snuggle buddy that has physically attached themself to his body helps. It weighs him down, he can’t move off the sofa unless he wants to wake up the little clown (not Joker-adjacent) he’s basically taken in. I feel as though you wouldn’t necessarily fall asleep in his lap, but probably crashed at his place. After a long day of being a nuisance you crash at Constantine’s home, because in your words ‘it smells nice’, and fall asleep on his sofa. And not long after you turn up, an equally exhausted if not more so sorcerer gets home and collapses on top of you, asleep before he even landed. You probably don’t care, using his trench coat as a blanket and in the morning he’s probably more confused than annoyed. Anyone attempting to wake you up would be met with a very grouchy British man ready to send them to Hell for disturbing his sleep. Oh, and you’re here too.

Deathstroke -[PLATONIC]

This man hates you. Loathes you, in a mostly comical way. Any time he works with you, he is audibly complaining and groaning because he thinks you don’t take things seriously enough. You know he hates you, so you do everything in your power to annoy the shit out of him. I imagine you hug him, arms like rubber as they snake around him multiple times, every time you see him and really up the exaggeration in your emotions and reactions. It’s definitely a love-hate relationship but deep down, Deathstroke does car. Another one who wouldn’t directly cuddle. Though I imagine if you ever got super hurt to the point you needed to be hospitalised, he would fight tooth and nail to sit by your side. He would hold your hand until you woke up, not letting go even to sleep himself. He would kick out anyone too loud, including nurses and medical staff. He would vehemently deny it but can’t help himself as the worry bleeds through. Don’t go dying on him yet, he needs his daily dosage of annoyance.

Flash -[ROMANTIC]

Barry absolutely adores you. Like this man enjoys jokes and pranks so having you around is more of a blessing than a nuisance. He’s probably one of the few people that you won’t be sleeping around. Both of you are too excitable and hyperactive to really slow down and feel your exhaustion. He’s usually the first one turning up to any of your crime moments, most of the time cheering you on or just watching the chaos unfurl. If the two of you did end up sleeping together (NOT LIKE THAT), then you would be a nightmare to live near (this sounds so bad, I swear it isn’t). Both of you would snore really loud, like so loud that it can be heard through walls. And neither of you would be able to stay still as you sleep. Barry is a chronic kicker in my opinion and you would probably roll around a lot. Somehow, you both consistently wake up without the blanket, you star-fishing on an angle and Barry half off the bed. No one would be able to walk you up through the cacophony of your shared sounds.

Green Arrow -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]

This could either way because he would be super protective and vigilant no matter the type of relationship you have with him. If you’re romantically entangled then he would stop you from cuddling with him anywhere other than your home because when you do cuddle, he lays on top of you. This isn’t just to feel close to you but also to protect you from any intruders. If anyone wanted to get to you, they’d have to get through him first. Try to ignore the knife under your pillow, he needs it within grabbing distance just in case. If you were platonically intertwined, then I can see him indulging in hugs and cuddles so long as it doesn’t restrict his limbs. So if you wanna nap on him, go for it. He wouldn’t sleep with you, though he desperately needs it, but he would stroke your back and ensure that no loud sounds would disturb you. Oliver won’t deter anyone from coming in the room but should they start shouting or making loud noises unnecessarily, he will send them a sharp look to tone it down.

Green Lantern -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]

I definitely think that this man is desperate for someone to adore him. He wants to be your hero, a guiding light. He needs this, man. If romantic, then I see him super eager for nap time except he won’t shut up about how great he is. You want to sleep, he wants to yap. Two lovers doomed to fall apart. However, all it takes is a threat to go to someone else for your much needed beauty rest to get him to buck up and settle into the quiet with you. If platonic, similarly to romantic, he needs to be wanted. He wants to be that cool, older brother figure to you. I imagine you would prefer this version since he would just lift you up into a piggy back ride where the gentle jostling will lull you to sleep. Occasionally he may use his Ring to make you a blanket or a stuffed toy for extra comfort. Hal is so paranoid that someone is going to wake you up though that he becomes the person who wakes you up, leaving you to fulfil your threat and find comfort elsewhere. He is heartbroken and falls to his knees in shame.

Harley Quinn -[PLATONIC]

Do not fall asleep on or near Harley if you don’t want the life to be squished out of you. She has a case of cuteness aggression and it’s bad. You fell asleep by yourself, and woke up to be fully engulfed by Harley and her two pet hyenas, with her using you as her personal teddy bear. It’s warm, cosy and honestly addictive. Anytime you do wake up, it’s pretty easy for you to fall back asleep. Harley snores a little, and she’s quite active when she’s asleep, but if she’s rolling she’s taking you with her. Anyone who dares interrupt the smallest bit of serotonin that she holds close to her gets to meet her beloved hyenas up and close. A few poor delivery men and cold callers have been chased through the streets of Gotham multiple times. Some have tried bribing them but they’re too loyal to the cuddle pile.

Joker -[PLATONIC]

This man is not your friend. I put platonic because I don’t see him pursuing you romantically because all he’s interested in is seeing how far he can push you before you break. One of his favourite ways to do so is through sleep deprivation. Anytime you are paired together for a mission, you get no sleep. From playing trombone music, to insisting the lights stay to even shocking you with a cattle spike to keep you awake, he’s trying anything and everything. Because of this, you’ve been turning down a lot of opportunities to do crime with him so he’s been following you from place to place. Probably the number one reason why you crash at Constantine’s, you don’t want to go home to a psycho maniac clown who has a penchant for an Eminem-Metallica blend. However, I will say that in the very rare moments the Joker lets you sleep (probably like a hour or two before the mission plan starts), he will absolutely beat the person who woke you up. He beats them to a pulp with a crowbar and then hands you the crowbar as a gift. Only he can disturb you. Only he can torment you.

Lex Luther -[ROMANTIC]

Lex hates it, especially when it happens in public. He pretends he doesn’t know you and calls security to ‘take care of you’- .i.e. lock you up in your shared quarters. He questions why he’s with you every day. Similar to Constantine, he’s just in a constant state to ‘WHY THEM?!?!’. It’s almost like a blow to his ego and intelligence. The only good part is that he can show off to Superman and watch as the Kryptonian struggles with his jealously. That’s the only time he would publicly indulge your clingy habits. In private though? There are some rarer moments where he lets himself be encompassed by you. You practically bear hug each time, and each time he breathes in like he was hurt before forcing his body to relax, muscle by muscle. It’s not easy, his walls are as tall as the Great Wall of China is long. If anyone interrupts him, he’s quick to toss you off of him before addressing them, remembering their face and name so he can have them ‘dealt with’. No one should see him in his most vulnerable moments… But can you come continue cuddling him? He’s getting cold.

Martian Manhunter -[PLATONIC]

I think he’s very intrigued and amused by you. Kind of like a human to a cute puppy or frog, if that fits you more. Like he’ll indulge you here and there but is very neutral most of the time. However, he is kind of a secret sower of chaos. He would absolutely pass you candy so that you become so hyperactive, that the others are a bit scrambled. If he has the time, he will sit by you as you sleep and listen in to your dreams. With your consent, of course. It’s the best way he can learn about you since your powers prevent him from using most of his on you. A pair of oddities you are. Should anyone attempt to wake you, he just calmly says something like ‘That is not the best course of action. Please reconsider’. If they don’t, then he just picks you up and moves into the next room. Also another person to accidentally wake you up whilst chasing others away, but unlike a certain lamp guy, he learns and doesn’t do it again.

Mister Freeze -[PLATONIC]

Why are you sleeping on him? He is quite literally deathly cold. You say it’s perfect for a nest of blankets. He calls you weird. You call him old. That silences Victor and he grumbles but lets you do as you please. You know that type of dad that doesn’t express their affection through words, but rather actions? Yeah, thats Victor. The next time you come to seek refuge from a child drawing of a clown come to life, there’s extra fluffy and better quality bedding and pillows. Oh, and they so happen to be in your favourite colour. If you ask him, he’ll tell you some story about having them back in his old home and he was going to get rid of them, but if you like them so much, you can keep them. You ignore the tag still on the sheets. When he thinks you’re asleep, he brushes your hair out of your face. Sometimes as you fuss in your sleep, he hums or sings a soft lullaby. If anyone attempts to disturb you in his laboratory, they wouldn’t even make it to the inner door before one of his inventions dealt with them.

Nightwing -[PLATONIC/ROMANTIC]

Similar to Green Lantern, this man is begging you to sit in his lap for cuddles and naps. Dick is super touch starved and lacks like really good intimacy skills, both platonic or romantic. As soon as you sit in his lap and fall asleep, his whole body locks up. He freezes and has to remind himself that he needs to breathe. Dick probably shed a tear and feels blessed/chosen. He barely touches you but once he becomes comfortable enough, he’ll trace small circles on your back. Definitely one of the few who would accidentally wake you up and he feels so betrayed by his own body. If someone tries to wake you or makes noise, he instinctively grips you tighter and shoots them a glare. It’s his cuddle time, not anyone else’s! I see him as the type of person to try and plan the nap sessions though, because he can’t really deal with spontaneity quite well and after the first few random times, would want a designated time for it. He would also try and force you to wear matching pyjamas.

Penguin -[PLATONIC]

This man is so comfy to sleep on. The only issue is, he doesn’t like to sit still for long and loses his temper quickly which means he is very loud most of the time. However, should you attempt it he won’t dissuade you. He would prefer you do it whilst he’s attending paperwork with minimal distractions. Oswald just kind of sees you like a nuisance he has on a leash, almost like a pet but without the dehumanisation. If any of his goons try to interrupt or say something to him, he puts a pair of noise cancelling headphones on you or covers your ears before shouting. He wouldn’t sleep with you, valuing his time much more and would probably feel too vulnerable to do so. He would provide you with sleeping attire and would insist that you get changed before snuggling because he wouldn’t want any dirt or Gotham grime on his freshly pressed suit. You wouldn’t really visit him that often because he’s way too close to the Joker, both geographically and sometimes on missions.

Poison Ivy -[PLATONIC]

Let’s be real, Pamela probably drugged you. You are way too hyperactive for her sometimes so in order to keep you calm around her plants and not excite Harley too much, she drugs you. Nothing serious but just enough to make you sleeping. It’s probably just an intense chamomile and lavender extract. She sometimes cuddles you but it’s not really her style. She adores you but she also values her personal space sometimes. If you do it during a mission, she’ll humour you but not for long because she wants to get back to her greenhouse and lover (Harley) as soon as possible. She would definitely be the type to brag about it, subtly though. And her main victims? Batman and Nightwing. Anytime she crosses paths with them, she drops a couple of lines about you not being afraid of her and how willing you are to return to the home she shares with Harley. They don’t need to know that she drugs you for it most of the time.

Ra’s al Ghul -[ROMANTIC]

This man is babying you. If you’re napping, or even climb into his lap, he’s cancelling what he has planned for the day. He’s lived far longer than his enemies and he’ll live long after they died, so he can spare a few hours to dote and cuddle you. He definitely makes you get changed into the most luxurious sleep ware, silk with encrusted diamond and ruby enamelling as well as gold thread details. It’s probably worth the same as a small European country. If he’s feeling cocking, Ra’s will have you in his lap during meetings and overseeing training. Damien has more than once questioned why you’re there but has soon gotten used to it. Ra's wouldn't sleep with you, but he would be more than happy to just watch you doze and ensure you stay wrapped up.

Red Hood -[ROMANTIC]

The second you lay in his lap, my man is freezing up and having an inner panic attack. He's so touch starved yet touch avoident that he sort of glitches and says nothing, staying absolutely still. Its a bit difficult for you to hug him but you try to make it work. Jason feels as though he destroys everything he touches so it'll take a while for him to relax and settle. It becomes a drug to him, he needs your presence to sleep. When his goons point out you're a nuisance, he just sighs and looks dreamily at you like 'my nuisance'. He doesn't care if his goons see you cuddling, its just something they have to get used to but as soon as a family member or another rogue swings by, he's all dark and brooding. Times like these he unceremoniously drops you from his arms before acting all militant. But don't worry, he'll make it up to you with cuddles later.

Riddler -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]

At first Edward is fully against it. He pushes you off of him and berates you for doing something so childish and unseemly, brushing invisible dirt of his custom tailored suit. It’s fine, you get your revenge by not giving him an ounce of your attention. First, you refuse to partner up with him for missions, then you decline his calls, you ignore him when he speaks to. You do all of this before he basically begs (though he won’t ever admit to it) for your forgiveness and pulls you into his arms. Edward thought he was above it all and now he won’t make that mistake a second time. His goons aren’t allowed in the room when you cuddle though, so they have to communicate through very awkward rushed scribbles on paper that are then stuffed under the door or window. Many a times they have conducted raids like this, and it wasn’t until Batman invaded their base that someone suggested text messages or some other easy when to communicate. Riddler will actually pout if you wake up or move away before he’s had his daily dose of you and will immediately kill anyone who wakes you up.

Scarecrow -[PLATONIC]

He loathes physical touch and how silly you are in what is supposed to be a serious endeavour. Jonathan would absolutely use his Fear gas on you, just to see what happens. What he didn’t expect was for you to become extra clingy as you saw things you couldn’t explain and used him to ground yourself. He hated it, you wouldn’t let go of his arms as you sobbed. You wouldn’t let go, couldn’t. Your grip was ironclad and left dark purple bruises on his skin. At some point during your awful psychedelic trip, Jonathan Crane got used to you. It wasn’t a huge switch. It was gradual and slow, building to a neutrality. He didn’t hate you touching him, but he didn’t love it either. However, by the time he got used to your presence, you were flat out cold. The gas had scared you so much you spiralled yourself into exhaustion and fell asleep. On him. He would feel bad but you’ve basically anchored him down to one spot and now he can’t do his work.

Superman -[ROMANTIC]

First I got to say, choosing Clark Kent for cuddles and naps is the best choice here. That man is southern hospitality and sunshine all wrapped up in a beefcake who loves puppies and flowers. He is so down for cuddles, like almost desperately so. He gets so giddy and giggling when you begin to climb into his lap. Let me just say that you won’t need any blankets or pillows, this man is warm enough. If someone tries to wake you up or if he wants to annoy the other members of the Justice League, he will just make sure you’re all secure (probably as a bear hug) and then just fly in the air. He’ll use his laser eyes to cut around walls to make sure its quiet enough for you before floating high above whatever city he was in. This definitely pisses off Bruce and the Flash. He would wake you up with sweet innocent kisses across your face until you stirred and then gently fly you to Paris or Smallville for a nice ‘breakfast’. He would never wake you up accidentally because he has your heartbeat on his radar at all times.

Talia al Ghul -[ROMANTIC]

Much like her father, Talia absolutely spoils you. Matching sleeping attire? Check! 5 star facial treatments for the both of you? Check! Silk sheets in an European palace? Check! As for who falls asleep on who? It could go either way as Talia adores cuddling you, it gives her the perfect opportunity to pinch and poke you and have you whenever she pleases. She’d probably drug you a little bit, just to keep you nice and complacent. She coils around you like a snake and she’s so soft that you don’t even feel the set of daggers she’s strapped to her body in case of intruders. It’s somewhat similar when she’s the little spoon as she’s always armed and loves to just lounge on you. Talia would wake you up with sex or slow kisses across your face and upper body. She’s the boldest with her claim and would shoot someone dead for attempting to take you away from her, before cooing over your sleepy mumbles.

Two-Face -[ROMANTIC]

Harvey is a man who thrives on the chaos you bring. But rather than scold you for sleeping on the job, he would probably see it as you recuperating your energy. He would feel blessed that you, basically his God at this point, would choose to sleep on him. The very level of vulnerability you have shown him is all but a marriage proposal. He would guard you with his life and would kill anything or anyone in the perimeter, regardless if they made noise or not. To him, he can’t take any chances. He also wouldn’t sleep with you, too paranoid and alert to relax. It may even be that he puts you in a secure safe room which has been done up to be your bedroom. It has over 60 different types of locks and most of them have answers that only Harvey knows. He would stroke your face whilst you slept and whisper some sort of ranted prayer. The only way he would wake you was if the compound was under attack and he needed to move you. Any other time, he is actively trying to soothe you so you return to your slumber.

Wonder Woman -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]

For Diana, it could go either way as she’s going to hold you in one arm or on her hip like a baby because to her, you’re her baby. If your relationship is platonic, then she’ll indulge in your clinginess and use it to brag to Bruce. (Both her and Clark like to watch him struggle a bit). She’s another one that wouldn’t nap with you, but would stay awake just to ensure you’re safe and sound. Plus, I imagine as a demigod she doesn’t really need that much sleep. If your relationship is romantic, then she may be clingy too. If you nap together in the safe space of your shared home, then you aren’t going anywhere. Her arms are like iron bars once they find purchase around your waist. She also doesn’t really care for matching pyjamas but she does adore you when you wear her sweats. No matter your size, she has a version of hers in it. She doesn’t wake you up either. But Diana definitely wakes up before you and just stares at your face until you wake up. She likes to memorise these moments because she doesn’t know when they may end. If someone wakes you up on accident, she gently chides them before doting on you as you are extra cute to her when you’re sleepy.