#dc crack

Other posts 📬

Bruce wayne - Although he was raised under Jewish practices (like circumcision) I don't think Bruce would be a religious person as he grew and mixed with his cleanliness tendencies he would 100% be trimmed down there...no not shaven cuz where would he get the time to do that.

Clark Kent - Ya'll know the cliche of Clark lasering his beard off yeah.. I like to imagine a groggy Clark in the morning realising the bush has gotten a tad too bushy and just ziiiimm - he likes the tingling sensation.

Dick Grayson - This man defo has happy trail and I think he uses it to his advantage to create all sorts of patterns along with the actual hair down there. Landing strips, sem-shaven HECK he probably has done heart shapes for valentines.

Jason Todd - Get ready to adventure the fucking jungle because Jason Peter Todd was defo the teen to curl his singular chest hair just for the bravado and that need to be persevered as macho remains deep within the adult boy wonder - albeit now hes probably more lazy. Anyways, I'm team red headed Jay so lets just picture a sexy bush of hair that happens to be a hint of strawberry 'blonde'. YES his partner absolutely thought he tried and failed to bleach his pubes but it can all mean nothing~~~

Tim Drake - Bet you though i'd dunk on my man for being UnHyGeNic and a WoRkAhOliC - well yeah. But wouldn't it be funnier to imagine Tim Drake the youngest Gotham ceo, the third boy wonder, the one with intelligence that challenges Ra's Al Ghul..just sitting there with tweezers plucking out his hairs as a stress reliever. 🙌 we've all done it once.

Hal Jordan - Cleannn shaven. Like so clean you can eat off of it (which he has defo made his past partners do).

Wally West - Hear me out...he's obviously too focused on other crap to remember to deal with the forbidden forest but there was defo a time where Wally's deeply internal insecure ahh thought he should clean up his little strawberry patch and what is the best scientifically proven method - wax...Yes this speedy boy dabbled in wax ONCE in his life (he ripped it off so fast he could never turn back).

Roy Harper - defo tries to shave once in a while but is the type to use his face razer until his lover threatened to have balls removed.

Oliver Queen - trimmed -I mean have you seen his immaculate stache??

Ra's Al Ghul - he's probably trimmed and proper but why do I so see his bush being braided and tucked like a second cock...

Riddler - This question mark obsessed fool has his bush carved into the shape of one DUH.

Kyle Rayner - He tries to have pubezilla kept under-wrapped but he thinks the way it curls so nicely is artistic.

John Constantine - wants to magic it away but eh...defo stinks a bit.

Plastic man - tried to shave it and broke so many razor...left nothing but a pool of blood and broken dreams.

J'onn J'onzz - This perfect man will have it anyway you want it to be 🫦

Michael Carter - Waxed 110% and not only is it clean as a baby's forehead but he has his initials right above his sack (why not..).

Harvey Dent - trimmed and clean on one side and bushy on the other...but in the opposite way you'd think.

1) A normal teen receives a mystical/cosmic accessory.

2) She has to recite an oath to activate the powers.

3) The ring transforms her clothes into the costume.

4) Her power is emotion-based and imagination-based.

5) She becomes part of a color-coded cosmic order.

Angsty Teenager Dick: . . . Uh, hi??

Tim:

Dick:

Tim: I watched your parents die :)

Dick:

Tim:

Smol Jason, rushing over: diCK! HELP!

Dick: I... Yeah, uh, sure. What?

Jason: Rena's here.

Dick: . . . So?

Jason: She looks pretty :'(

Dick: . . . Again, the problem?

Jason: What if I'm not good enough for her?!

Dick: You're like thirteen. Chill.

Jason: She's my future WIFE! D:

Tim: He was found in a dumpster. She needs higher standards.

Jason: I WAS NEXT TO THE DUMPSTER!

Tim: Skill issue.

Dick: who ARE you?

Tim: Tim Drake.

Jason: This solves NONE of my issues!

Dick: Look, little wing, it's easy. She's your girlfriend already, so the hard part is over.

Jason: What's the easy part?!

Dick: Usually the divorce settlement but we'll get to that later.

Jason, walking off: BRUUUUUUUUCE!!!

Tim:

Dick:

Tim: Is Mr. Wayne looking for more kids to adopt?

Dick:

Tim: Not for me. I'm good. I just meet a lot of good potential Robins while out and about at night. Stalking you guys.

Dick: . . .

Catwoman's Got Jokes

Green Lanterns x new lantern! reader

Summary: You somehow managed to find your way into the Lantern Corps and all you're the bane of everyone's existence.

TW: Sex jokes. Lots. Halbarry mention? (nothing happened, reader's just teasing)

"Get your feet off the console," John growled.

"Can’t," you said, shifting your weight on the glowing green desk. "My thighs are currently stuck to the hard-light by pure friction. If I move, I lose skin, John. Is that what you want? You want to explain to the little blue smurfs upstairs why there’s human epidermis on the sector map?"

Hal rubbed his temples, staring at the floorboards. "How did you even get past the atmospheric shield? It’s designed to incinerate organic matter that doesn't have a ring signature."

"I slid in under the door while you were letting Barry out," you said, leaning your head all the way back over the edge of the console until you were looking at Hal upside down. "By the way, Hal? What were you doing with Barry in the hangar for six hours? Tactical briefing? Without clothes?"

You let out a loud, wet and breathless groan, rolling your eyes into the back of your head to give the others a visual of what you thought went on in there between the guys.

Bruce: You know childbirth smells exactly the same as when you gut a deer

Damian: Um... ok?

Bruce: I made stuffed shells

Damian: Thank you?

Bruce: *Leaves the room*