#cofronting

Gonna be plural on main for a second, but cofronting for us always feels so intimate. Or maybe we make it intimate just by virtue of who we are and what we do? Noel curls around me like the world's biggest sentient chair, and it feels like her soul's touching mine. I can feel the memory of her teeth and wings like my own, while still feeling her scales up against my back and the way she rumbles in amusement, the closeness of it shaking my bones, as I write this. Never more than when I'm cofronting do I have to stop and admire that if we're made of anything, her and I are made of the same stuff. I'm hers in a way that transcends anything else, and in the same way she's mine. If soulmates exist, we're each other's.

Cofronting in this way for us is like being wrapped in the warmest hug you can possibly imagine, but so much better. In discussions where my singlet friends are first learning about plurality and specifically my plurality, they often ask: isn't it exhausting getting no privacy? How can you handle people always being with you? And I also have to ask in return: isn't it lonely? How can you stand living without even one person who'll ever understand exactly what you're feeling, who's always there for you? And we both kind of shrug at each other and accept that our lived experiences are polar opposites in some significant ways. This closeness with another person just isn't something I could imagine ever going without. It'd be like losing all my senses and my family all at the same time. It'd be devastating and life-changing in ways I couldn't comprehend and frankly don't want to. And it'd be so, so fucking lonely.

Headmate 2: I want to start learning sign language

Headmate 3: Well I want to learn new art mediums

Headmate 4: NO, practicing our digital art!

Headmate 5: We should really be finding a job

Headmate 6: Hey remember those phone calls you need to make

Me: ...

i just saw someone say owo in a post and not one comment mentioned it bcs its normalized to be whimsical on this platform

its like. age regression (which i think ive felt through orange before?) but im still coherent as my chrono age (or whatever the term is i forgor).

like my brains feeling the wierd derealization i remember feeling throughout elementary school? and its like, linking me to that age or something. i think maybe it could be that someones cofronting with me who's age regressed to elementary

idk. i feel wierd. heads foggy,,

need to sleep probably

Do you/y’all have any tips? What do most people do in this situation? I want to be able to live my life and not feel disassociated, but I also want her to actually experience things and feel fulfilled.

Hello - our system has no created headmates, so we cannot provide any personal experience which may help you navigate this situation. However, if you and your daemon have a good level of communication and cooperation, we’d seriously recommend talking this through with her. Express your worries and discomfort regarding leaving the front, and see if it’s possible for the two of you to collaborate when it comes to fronting and being present in the world. Collaborating may look like asking her to keep a dialogue open with you while she’s fronting to keep you engaged, or perhaps taking turns handling interactions with the outside world and practicing working together to control your body as a team.

We would also recommend using some grounding techniques next time your daemon fronts in order to help you both remain centered and grounded in the world. We do have a post with a few grounding techniques which we’ll link here (<- hyperlink). If you ever start feeling hazy, disconnected, or out of touch with your body or your surroundings, grounding techniques may be able to help bring you back to a state of awareness.

We’d like to invite any system with created members (or daemons in particular) to chime in here. How do you manage fronting, switching, and cofronting? How do you deal with new levels of dissociation as they arise?