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The Spaces in Between part 65
(part 64 here)
I don't know if you can help me with this, but I have a really really complicated thing with my dad. he has an alcohol problem that has hugely affected me growing up, and I'm really really angry and hurt by it. he has also always been very distant, he gets home at around 9pm every day and starts drinking and I don't want to interact with him at that time. he can get really angry over basically any minor thing, and start shouting very loudly and slam doors. that's why I really feel like (1/?)
(2/? about the alcoholic dad) I have to walk on eggshells around him and I canât be myself. he also does this thing where basically the only way he interacts with the family is through making everything like a joke and seriously making himself like a child that needs to be taken cared of. he uses puppy eyes and childish pleas to manipulate us to fulfill his needs, and this mixed with the constant fear of making him angry is really upsetting and confusing. he is also really mean towards my mom
(3/?, alcoholic dad) but heâs kinda making it sound like a joke, so itâs really hard to say anything about it, with the constant fear of making him angry. I feel like I am really codependent towards him and I am starting to feel a little hopeless with this, I am ashamed of my codependency and the huge sense of responsibility that I have and I feel extremely guilty if I just retreat to my room. because he has complained about how we donât spend enough time with him etc. I will be able to move out
(4/4, alcoholic dad) during next year but the remaining days here just feel really hard. I see a psychologist and itâs helping a little, but I am so so affected by this and I feel constantly anxious and tense at home. if you have any suggestions on what to do, Iâm thankful but this was more like a way of letting it all out for me. maybe what Iâm looking for is just someone to validate that itâs not all in my head. also thanks for running this blog. <3
Hey, thank you for the ask. We hope youâre doing all right and that youâre somewhere safe. Weâre glad you can come vent to us about something so difficult.Â
I had a parent that was very much like your dad, although they hid behind straight denial instead of jokes. Â Any day could suddenly turn into âthatâ day if they picked us up from school buzzed or if they got very drunk at home and started real trouble.Â
I dealt with it through a number of ways. I stayed in my room and did hobbies, did walks/biking outside, took extracurriculars, and saw friends/family friends. I know how hard it is, but you donât have to feel guilty for denying your dad your company when heâs behaving this way. By making you the guilty party heâs ensuring your sympathy and help when he actually needs to learn to do things himself.Â
You also need to at least attempt to set boundaries with him. If he says heâs lonely, you should tell him why you donât want to be with him and the conditions for your company. If he makes jokes, you can tell him itâs not funny and say why the situation is serious. Itâs very difficult, and he may deny his behavior, but as long as you stay calm and reasonable then thereâs nothing more you could do - the rest is on him. If he continues being toxic then deny him your company.Â
Itâs very good that you already understand what your dad is doing and that you have a codependent relationship; it means youâre more likely to see past what heâs doing and deny that behavior. Thereâs no shame in codependency when youâre the one forced into that relationship. Your codependent behavior is just a way to survive and temper your stressful environment. Look forward to your move-out and hold on to your self-worth.Â
If you need anyone to talk to then weâll be here. You can contact me at @vexxx-ing if you ever need it. â Abby @vexxx-ingÂ
I feel like Dean is giving up on everyoneI feel like he does'nt want to deal with any of it feels like he is only thinking about Sam and won't share any of his feelings with Cas what is going on I am so confused
Hey, there!Iâm gonna start this answer with a picture and a link:
http://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/173012609177/what-was-this-mess-of-s10-that-people-keep-talking
Many peoplehave said they think this season feels like season 10, so that link is a goodread. Over there youâll find a link to the plot accordion post by @elizabethrobertajones reblogged by @mittensmorgul. Youshould definitely read it because sometimes itâs important to pay attention notonly to whatâs happening in the story but also to what extradiegetic elementsare at play (like Supernatural possibly getting two more seasons).
The plot accordiontook place in the Carver era, but I believe that with the introduction of the alternate universe this season, weâre witnessing another major accordion, thistime in the Dabb era. Many of us half thought, half hoped season 14 was goingto be the last one for Supernatural. We didnât doubt for a second the showwould get renewed for s14; we just thought maybe they were ready to announce itas the showâs final season. That didnât happen, though.
Iâm one ofthose who believe the people in charge of the show will make the most possiblenoise when theyâre ready to let go of SPN. The showâs not going to getcancelled out of the blue âcause itâs still going strong. Iâm sure when theydecide the final season is coming, theyâlltell us. Thatâs why Iâm very positive weâll get at least a season 15 (sinces14 wasnât announced as the final one).
Last seasonDean was a lot closer to his emancipation than heâs ever been on the show. Whenhe let Sam go as an equal and then faced his mother (in 12x22), he opened thedoor that could take him to a better state of mind. Opening the door doesnâtmean heâll magically be free in a matter of 2 or 3 eps, but thatâs where hischaracter was going.
The thingis that when TPTB introduced the apocalypse 2.0, things kind of changed. Iâmnot even going to talk about Deanâs mourning period in the first 5 episodes ofs13 because thatâs more Destiel-related. The apocalypse being a relevant thingin season 13 and AU!Michael being the main threat in a world where Lucifer waskilled was obviously a reverse of our world where Michael is still trapped in acage that wasnât meant for him and Lucifer is still on the loose.
One of thebest things about Supernatural is that because the showâs been running for so long, theyâvebeen able to give symmetry to many important themes. Deanâs codependency inseason 9 vs Samâs codependency in season 10. Deanâs unrequited feelings for Casin season 8 vs Casâ unrequited feelings for Dean in season 9. Both themes arestill ongoing because they canât be resolved before endgame. Kevin gettingkilled because of Deanâs efforts to save Sam vs Charlie getting killed becauseof Samâs efforts to save Dean.
It makessense to think that now that we have another apocalypse, it should be the symmetrical half ofthe one we lived before. In season 5, Sam was possessed by Lucifer, itâs kindof poetic to think that Dean can get possessed by Michael this time. Because ofspoilers and lots of things, it seems thatâs where weâre going, but we stilldonât know if thatâs whatâs gonna happen. (I was holding back on that theory because it was way too predictable, but then I remembered they also thought that demon!Dean would be a surprise and it wasnât).Â
However, if the plan was for Dean to get possessed, having him on his way to emancipation was veryillogical. He needed to be kicked down.HARD.
Rememberthat when Cas said yes to Lucifer in season 11 he was at one of his lowestpoints? And never told Dean about it either? He was feeling expendable. Theonly thing he could do to protect Dean and Sam and to fight Amara (according tohim at the time) was to say yes to Lucifer.
Now itâsDeanâs turn! In order to protect Sam and Cas (and Mary, Jack, AU!Charlie) hewill probably say yes to whoever will possess him. For him to say yes, he needsto be at one of his lowest points.
He startedthe season like that, but he got his faith back in 13x06. For some episodes itseemed Dean was in a better state than Sam, so something needed to change.
Dean doesnâtwant to see his brother die again. He doesnât want to see Cas die again. Hedoesnât want to see his mother die again. He doesnât want to see Charlie dieagain. He canât deal with losing the people he loves again⌠while doing nothing!The level of frustration we saw him display at the end of 13x18 is kind of whatâsgoing on inside his head. He will do anything to protect his family, even if heputs himself at risk for that.
Right nowthatâs Deanâs state of mind and he wonât talk about it with Cas or with anyonebecause at this moment in the story he needs to feel like that in order for thepossession to make narrative sense.
Jack actsas a Dean mirror in 13x20 when he says this:
Thatâsexactly how Dean is feeling right now. Whatâs the point of his life if he canât keep his family safe?Â
Itâs not only aboutSam and if people think that because of 13x20, then theyâre missing thepoint. Â
Eps 1-5along with Deanâs apology in 13x13 show that itâs about Cas too. Deanâsreaction in 13x09 when he found out Mary was alive shows that itâs about Marytoo. The whole situation with AU!Charlie in 13x18 show that itâs even aboutsaving her because he doesnât want to lose his âsisterâ again. Itâs about Deanâsfamily and Sam is just one member of it. Family is Cas, Mary, and Jack. To Dean,family even includes the faces of the people he once loved.Â
Whateverreckless decision Dean is about to make wonât be only about Sam, but itâs alsounwise to think it will be about Cas.Â
Itâs not about the codependencyright now. Itâs not about Destiel either. Itâs about family.Â
We knew what Deanâsjourney this season would be when Jack became the mirror for Team Free Will in13x06. We got a shot of Dean when Jack said, âEvery time I try and do something good, people get hurt.â
Thatâs whatDean doesnât want. He doesnât want his family to get hurt.
Thatâs whatâshappening right now, so letâs see how the writers will flip the coin with this redo ofthe apocalypse.

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