#make yourself a priority

Our mothers are NOT children that need rescuing, soothing and coddling.

They are grown women with their own paths and healing journeys that we cannot save them from.

Having healthy boundaries with your mother is a form of self-respect and NOT equivalent to "abandoning" her.

Healing involves finding that balance between compassion for our mothers AND boundaries to protect ourselves.

The bottom line is your inner child needs you more than your mother does, and we have to make the brave, taboo choice of prioritizing ourselves as more important than our mothers.

That's healthy self-development.

If your mother is not on a healing path herself or willing to reflect on her behavior, etc. all you can do is create some measure of distance to protect yourself.

YOU are your priority not her. You get to focus on your own wellbeing without guilt.

Resist the guilt-tripping that comes out of her own emotional immaturity and childhood wounds.

Omg and if they DO reply, it’s the driest, most nothing-burger of a reply ever. “Nun much” “nothing” “relaxing” “working” “the usual” like did nothing really happen? You could have AT LEAST thrown in a little “saw a funny meme today” but it’s not even that fr. Do you really not have hobbies or do you just fucking hate me? Pick a side.

Don’t even think about trying to make plans either because that’s a nightmare too. The plans could be as simple as a lunch in the afternoon at the house and they’ll STILL find a way to shut it down every time. “I have work” “I’m with family” (<- only one I let slide because no one comes before family but sometimes I really do question if that’s just a cop out cuz you know I won’t say anything abt that) “I’m coming down with something” or the infamous “idk I gotta check my schedule” cuz if your day-to-day is as dry as our conversations, you most CERTAINLY have the time.

So you won’t reply to text messages until WAYYYY later only to have the most boring ass responses, you won’t even bring up the possibility of hanging out unless I INITIATE THE CONVERSATION and even then, it’s almost always a guaranteed no. Don’t say “we’ll keep in touch” if you know you want nothing to do with me or don’t wanna put in the effort.

“But Luna, why won’t you just talk to them about it instead of ranting on the internet?” I’m blocked :) and also this has happened one too many times with MULTIPLE PEOPLE! Not double whammy, not triple whammy, not even quadruple whammy. WAY MORE THAN THAT.

This is why I talk to the same four people on rotation and don’t bother reconnecting with people because we are not doing the one-sided friendship bullshit in the big 26, no thank you.