PROLOGUE
“made you a promise. told you i’d change”
summary — william is steady, unshakable—even in love. you’ve always been there, quietly waiting for him to keep the promises he never says out loud. but how long can you wait for someone who won’t move?
warnings — mature content. minors dni (future chapters)
word count — 4.3k (for epilogue)
an — SUPRISE, SUPRISE! i've this in my drafts since june as a half- cooked idea. if you thought my auston story was angsty, boy do i have some news for you. if you are interested in a possible taglistm let me know!
masterlist
the dogs had already paused at the bedroom door before the sun even had a chance to really come up, their nails ticking out isolation rhythms on the hardwood floor. she blinked into wakefulness to the soft shuffle of sheets and a soft groan beside her.
"your children," muttered william, sleep-thickened voice as he pushed deeper into the pillow. "they want you."
she smiled into the silence, pushing her face against the warm curve of his shoulder before getting out of bed. the blur of brown and golden fur from her babies— banksy and pablo—nearly knocked ger over when she opened the door, banksy’s golden fur lashing so hard it clipped the wall. pablo,, tailed behind her, all energy and wide eyes.
their shared condo was otherwise peaceful, early morning light spilling onto the hardwood as she made her way through the kitchen. to her back, she heard william finally stir, half-asleep, rubbing his eyes, warm and shirtless and rumpled from sleep.
they moved around one another like they always had smoothly, at ease. she started the coffee and he washed the leftover bowls from late night ice cream. she joked with him over how they only were this spoiled because of him, and he kissed her cheek back, grumbling something about "my offsprings deserve the best."
this is what eight years looked like. not flashy or loud but soft and steady mornings likes this.
william is unshakeable—both as a boyfriend and on the hockey rink, his laid-back, easy-going nature is what makes him who he is.
and he'd always been steady.
she met him when she was nineteen—him in his first year in toronto, still a boy and too charm, messy blond hair and shy smile.
“this any good?” he asked, as he walked passed a coffee truck he had gotten use to since moving to toronto. he lived near by in his words not wanting to be “too downtown” because him getting called up to the leafs was always a possibility.
he’s gotten use to his commute as he played with marlies at coca-cola coliseum but it always surprises him how long short a distance’s commute is in downtown toronto
“i’m sorry?” she pulled out her headphones, her notes in hand as she revised for her exam with white noise blaring through them.
“the coffee. is it any good?” he wasn’t sure why he was asking and not just trying the coffee. there was something that drew him to her maybe it was the nervous energy or the fact that it with just the two of them waiting outside the truck that brisk fall morning.
“i’ve actually never tried it. the line at tim’s was huge and i was thinking of getting this instead before my exam” she blurted, not sure why she was dumping her stress on this stranger but first year calculus and its not so "mid" term was driving her up the wall/
“i guess it’s our first time.” he stated his smile innocent with no consideration of the possible interpretation of his words. “what do you usually get? like from tim’s?” he followed up
“a large iced coffee but on a day like this, a large black coffee and a red bull later” she half-joked, assuming he could related as a fellow student.
he looked around her age. baby smooth face with no facial hair or shadow on sight. hair a bit too neat compared to her fellow business school kid but maybe, he manages stress better. just looking at him calmed her anxieties and had her tucking away her notes into her backpack
“and?” he raised an eyebrow, “please stop that, that’s terrible for your heath” his carefree mask slipping, suddenly concerned for this stranger
“got to do what we have to do—“ she paused realizing she never even asked him his name
“william” he held out his hand, hers now free from her tucking, her notebook away.
she reached for his hand and jumped at how warm they felt in hers. “y/n”
“beautiful name for a beautiful girl” he replied still holding her hand like he wouldn’t dream to let it go and for the years to come he didn’t
“flattery will get you nowhere, william” suddenly shy she moved up to the owner of the truck before she felt william walk a step behind, he extended his neck between her shoulder and the counter. his figure casting a shadow over her.
“can i get a iced americano with a pump of caramel enough to be able to still taste it and a black coffee” her cheeks warmed at how close his voice was and his consideration of her order. she’d never had a boy so close. her mind must’ve short-circuited because next thing she knew he handed over his card from her over shoulder and the owner thanked him for his tip, while watching the with cupid eyes
she swallowed despite her mouth being dry and william sat on the small ledge of shrubs and gestured for her to sit, “you didn’t have to get me but thank you nonetheless” she looked at her feet suddenly not understanding the message he was trying to give
“anything to help a sleep deprived university student. i live around the corner and i always hear students leaving the library late at night looking like they left their souls in there”
“oh yeah it definitely sucks the soul out of me. those 7th floor study rooms have already seen all my tears and nervous breakdowns and it’s only week four .” she vented, then she realized his mention of university students seemed like it was divided from the rest. was he older? he looked her age. not in school? maybe.
“wait” she started, “are you in school? i’m sorry i assumed you were. you look my age”
william got this a lot mostly in ubers when they asked him what he did he liked do mess with others usually with his responses but for the first time since he was drafted he wanted to be honest with the girl next to him, “you wouldn’t believe me if i told you what i do”
“now that you say it i’m a bit afraid” she laughed
“no, it’s nothing bad. i play hockey. i was actually drafted by toronto” he hadn’t said that much in small talk since he was drafted. he knew how much of a hockey town toronto was, so he thought maybe he could use this fact to win brownie points with the beautiful stranger.
“you got drafted by the blue jays?”
william bursted out laughing. he couldn’t help it.
at first she wasn’t sure where she went wrong and how she embarrassed herself. she decided screw the coffee from the stranger who didn’t blink to pay for her despite her not having the budget for coffee after using her allowance on energy drinks last night and mapped out a quick exit plan standing up before she felt it again. the warmth that radiated from his palm now spread to her forearm as he reached for her to sit back down.
“i don’t appreciate being laughed at” she crossed her arms in almost a childlike manner and william giggled even more to be met with her straight face.
“i’m sorry i just thought if i told you i was drafted into the nhl it’d score me some points with, only to realize you don’t care about hockey do you?” william turned towards her fully now.
stubborn as always, not wanting to admit defeated she played coy, “what gave you that impression?”
“the blue jays are our baseball team”
“who cares they’re both blue” she rolled her eyes and william just chuckled at her
“you have a lot to learn but you’ve got me now”
“i don’t want to learn from you. i don’t care about the blue jays
“maple leafs and somethings tells me you will”
before she could elaborate, their coffees were done and william got up and shook hands with the owner once more before moving back to her and hand her drink and straw
she thanked him before drinking it and gasped at the taste of it. at the same time, william sipped his and played off his burnt tongue to peer at her reaction at his order for her.
“this is so good” the espresso not the only thing rejuvenating her morning.
“when’s your exam?” he asked looking at his watch worrying that he’d somehow made her late because of how she teetered towards the opposite direction he came from
“in two hours” she replied still savouring the bitter and sweet after taste of her coffee, “i came early to study”
he took her statement as the time for him to depart and thank her for the small talk but he wasn’t ready to leave her, “you know i’ve been told by my little sisters i am great study partner”
she peered up at him the resounding shyness still radiating. she’d never been on a date before and here a cute boy she just met today —who is apparently a coffee expert—wants to hang out with her?. the anxiety she felt about her exam wore off in the few minutes they talked. she wanted to hold onto the calm before she was locked into her proctored exam.
“oh, yeah. you know anything about calculus?”
“tons”
he did, in fact, know nothing about calculus.
but from that day forward after he gave her company and what he proclaimed as showed morale support through watching her explain topics he had zero idea about. he just sat there with his chin in his palm and watched her.
after that, they spent every day together. he met her before, after and sometimes in-between classes. the days she wasn't on campus or he was away, they'd facetime. with her childhood relationships disappearing as she gor older, she found a different kind of friend in william. someone who she wasn't forced to be around, yet always craved to be in his company.
he walked her to classes when she arrived at the subway station near his condo usually with a hat and he was able to go unnoticed. those walks she cherished the most. it was usually those he flirted so stupidly while telling her about his day and asking about hers (and the boy in her english 1000 lecture who definitely had a crush on her)
she’d never had a crush before. she'd never been close to boys not for any reason; she were just fine with waiting till adulthood to cross things off—that was until william.
suddenly, he was apart of her routine. it was impossible to not fall for william nylander.
william who carried her schoolbag like it weighed nothing—her aching back says otherwise. gets her drink of choice order depending on her mood. who always responds to morning or late-night texts. william who showed her his favourite park despite it being bus rides away from her school because it was his favourite place to decompress and he could tell with her second semester approaching she needed it.
the same park he kissed her for the first time after she admitted to never being kissed.
it was one of those secrets, she weas embarrassed to admit but during one of their many debriefs side-by-side, she let it slip. it careless and small at first, until it was too late to take it back.
they were sitting on the damp bench under the maple tree, the one that creaked whenever someone shifted their weight. her shoes were muddy from the short walk across the grass, her cheeks pink from the cold, and william sat beside her, hoodie pulled over his ears, gloved hands tucked between his knees.
“you’ve never been kissed?” he’d repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, like he didn’t want the trees to hear.
she shook her head, biting the inside of her cheek. “no. not really a priority when you’re just trying to pass grade 12 bio and not flunk life.” she'd meant for it to sound like a joke, but it came out smaller than she hoped.
he’d smiled then the same slow and easy smile that softened her heart instantly. “that’s crazy,” he said, bumping her shoulder gently. “you’re like...pretty.”
she rolled her eyes, trying to hide the way her heart kicked up. “you’re terrible at compliments.”
“no, i’m not.” he turned toward her, and for a second, she could see the boyish charm slip away. “i’m being honest.”
there was a pause then. a long one. the kind that sits heavy between two people who don’t quite know what comes next.
“do you ever think about it?” he asked finally, his voice quieter now, like he was afraid to ruin the moment.
she hesitated. “sometimes.”
he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, eyes fixed on the horizon like he couldn’t bear to look at her just yet. “you don’t have to answer this,” he said softly, “but... would it be okay if it was me?”
her breath caught. every sound around her—the rustle of leaves, the hum of traffic in the distance— blurred into nothing.
“will—”
“it’s fine if you don’t want to,” he cut in quickly, nervous now, rubbing the back of his neck. “i just— i like you. i have for a while. and i don’t want you to think i—”
she stopped him before he could spiral, reaching for his sleeve and tugging it gently. “okay,” she whispered.
he blinked. “okay?”
“okay.”
he didn’t move right away. just looked at her, his breath clouding in the chill air, eyes darting to her lips and back like he was memorizing the space between. when he finally leaned in, his nose brushed hers first, hesitant, and then his lips pressed to her soft, unsure, but definitely real.
it was clumsy. sweet. over before she could think to breathe. but when he pulled back, his smile was the same one that still made her weak years later.
“that wasn’t so bad, right?”
she shook her head, heart pounding against her ribs. “no,” you said, smiling despite trying to hold it in. “not bad at all.”
it was in the simple way he moved closer to her any chance he could while asking if she was okay if she ever froze up. the way he treated her no different even after she mentioned her inexperience.
for william, it was always about you. he wanted to do what made you comfortable.
she wondered if he was joking, and then, never actually asking, he just started calling her his girlfriend.
she didn't mind. at that age, it was something nice in how easy it was. how he chose her and made it feel like the most natural thing in the world.
his family had warned her, to give him grace. he's a great but sometimes he just needs things spelt out sometimes. and she believed them. she understood. they were both still young. still trying to work it out and still getting lost in each other's eyes for hours.
and she did. they grew together. through university exams, last-minute study sessions, all-nighters nestled in her school’s library even when he had a game in the morning, insufferable internships, rejection emails, hangovers, promotions, and early morning flights. she were there for each other through wins and losses, became each other's constant in a world that never stood still.
she remember being twenty-two. fresh out of undergrad, working downtown, the city pulsing through her in a way that made every day feel like the start of something new. william had already been living in his condo near the water — neat, minimalist, always smelling faintly like cedar and coffee.
she’d come by after work with two overfilled grocery bags cutting into her hands, the straps threatening to break at any second. he met her in the lobby, baseball cap low, hoodie half-zipped, that lazy grin that still managed to undo her.
“you carrying the whole store or something?” he teased, taking both bags with one hand, like it was nothing.
“i don’t trust you with the list,” she shot back, pressing the elevator button. “last time you came back with just cereal and sparkling water.”
he leaned against the wall, shrugging. “essentials.”
she laughed, shaking her head, and that was when he asked her next, he showed no signs of worry at her saying no. it was just casual, easy, like it was a thought that just came to him.
“you should move in.”
she blinked, thinking she misheard him. “what?”
“it’d make sense, right?” he said again, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “you’re here all the time anyway. might as well stop pretending you’re not.”
his tone was nonchalant, but the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth gave him away. he wanted it—wanted her there, every morning, every night, even if he couldn’t quite say it out loud.
she stared at him for a moment, the fluorescent light humming above her, the elevator door sliding open. “you’re serious?”
he turned to her, keys jangling in his hand. “when am i not?”
she tried to fight the grin that was already breaking across her face, but it faltered, replaced by the quiet flutter of nerves in her chest. “i can’t,” she said finally, voice small. “my parents would freak out. my sister only moved out when she got married, and if i even suggested it” she trailed off, shaking her head.
he raised a brow, half-teasing, half-curious. “what, you think i’m scared of them?”
“yes,” she said without hesitation, even though the truth was she were the one who was.
he laughed—that boyish, easy sound that never failed to pull at something inside her. “fine,” he said, pulling her into him as they walked into the apartment. “i’ll ask them. youll have to ask my dad, you know.”
william looked down at her, that easy grin returning. “i know,” he said. “he loves me.”
“he tolerates you.”
he chuckled, brushing her hair behind her ear. “that’s just because he’s pretending not to like me. i’m a leaf now that gives me at least one advantage.”
“my mom does like you,” she offered, half teasing. "liv doesn't like anyone so that isn't surprising. i am sure she will say no but she doesn't live at home anymore so its down to my parents.
“see?” he said, tapping her chin playfully. “fifty percent approval already. i’ll charm the other fifty soon enough.”
and he did try—right away actually. that weekend, when she brought him home for dinner. her mom had been all warmth and smiles, fussing over him in the kitchen, while her dad stayed seated at the table, arms crossed, watching every move william made. her mom had offered him tea because he was european after all. he said yes even though he hated tea because he was getting third degree from her dad grilling him the way dads do with eyes sharp but not unkind.
"so,” her dad began, in that calm-but-serious tone that made her instantly anxious, “you got called up to the leafs.” he already knew.
“yes, sir,” william replied, polite, hands folded on the table, though she could tell he was holding himself from slouching like he usually did.
“and you think you can handle living with my babygirl while you’re playing more gamest?” he asked, an obvious test to see how much he really cared.
her breath caught but william just smiled, steady and unflinching. “yes, sir. i do.”
her dad raised an eyebrow. “and what happens when hockey gets in the way?”
“it won’t,” william said softly, still meeting his gaze. “she’s my priority.”
the table went quiet for a beat. her mom gave a small smile, eyes darting between them, and her dad leaned back in his chair, lips twitching, not quite a smile, but not obvious disapproval either.
when she left later that night, william walked her to the car, a smug grin tugging at his lips.
“what?” she asked.
“he likes me,” he said simply, unlocking the car.
she laughed. “he interrogated you.”
“yeah, and i passed.” he slung an arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I told you. your parents would love me. i'm pretty loveable”
and standing there under the yellow porch light, she realized he wasn’t wrong. maybe it wasn’t love yet, but it was something close enough, the same way he’d always been with her. she traded her quiet little neighborhood for the hustle and bustle of downtown toronto, she moved her plants, books, her life into his. the new apartment smelled faintly of fresh paint and the citrus candle she insisted on lighting every night until it began to smell like home.
and when they outgrew that space and moved into somewhere bigger, she threw a housewarming. it was crowded and warm, laughter echoing through the open kitchen. she remembers how his sister and her sister, olivia, exchanged looks across the room, champagne flutes clinking as they whispered,
“next comes marriage.” she knew what her older sister, olivia was doing. she wanted to see if he would pass the test. similar to their own father's startegy.
her and will had no choice but laugh alongside his younger sister. he’d pulled her into his side, arm slung lazily around her shoulders.
“hear that?” she teased quietly. “they’ve got our whole lives planned.”
“let them,” he murmured, smiling down at her. “saves us the trouble.”
and yet—years later, here she is. twenty-eight. still in love. still together. still waiting.
the house feels fuller now. their two perfect dogs have taken over the couch. he has her her morning routines down to muscle memory: his kiss to her temple before he gets up, the coffee he makes for her just right, the way he leaves the duvet untucked only on her side because she hates feeling trapped.
he spoils the dogs, washes her car every summer, leaves sticky notes when he’s on the road—small scraps of paper with reminders of appointments and event in a scrawl that she only learned how to read over the years.
she was in love with him. she never loved him less.
but sometimes, when the house is quiet, she catches herself thinking about the things she is not not supposed to think about. the small, stinging question that’s burrowed itself somewhere deep beneath her ribs.
why hasn’t he asked?
it’s not bitterness—just something quieter. something sad. she tells herself he’s never been one for grand gestures. that love for him has always been quiet and steady. she tells herself she's always been patient and that maybe he just needs more time.
but how much time was that exactly?
because she's held out for him through it all—his seasons, playoff wins and losses/ the long nights and the early mornings. she's never wavered. she just waited. quietly. faithfully. never being one to reveal cards she kept to chest so easily.
she's waited for the words he’s never said out loud in the light but always implied. the elephant in every room the're in. she waited for him to fulfill those murmured promises in the dark that never fully formed in the day.
after all in the dark, when it’s just her and the sound of the dogs breathing at her feet, the thought creeps in again—soft and terrifying all at once.
is he ever going to commit to her the way she'd always committed to him?
the thought lingers even as she pushes it away. because mornings like this one make it harder to stay upset, harder to question anything at all.
the condo hums softly with life—the kettle clicking off, the soft pads of paws against hardwood, the gentle shuffle of william moving around the kitchen. he’s already dressed down in only sweats, shirtless, with hair still damp from his shower, and he looks at her like it’s the easiest thing in the world to love her.
“you’re going out?” he asks, leaning against the counter, his mug in hand.
“breakfast,” she says, tying ger hair up as she slip into her jacket. “with the girls. i’m getting picked up.”
he hums, eyes tracing her movements. “that means i’m on dog duty.”
“you’re always on dog duty,” she teased, and he grins, stepping closer.
“yeah, because they listen to me better.”
“because you bribe them with bacon,” she shoots back, smiling when he reaches for her hand.
“maybe i should bribe you too,” he murmurs, tugging her toward him until her chest meets his. his touch is warm, familiar—the kind of touch she could recognize even when she was fast asleep.
she laughed, trying to wriggle free. “will, i’m already late.”
“five minutes won’t kill them,” he says, voice low, wrapping his arms around her waist. “stay.”
“you’re clingy this morning,” she murmurs, resting her forehead against his shoulder.
he shrugs, lips brushing her hair. “you’re leaving me for three whole hours. i have to make the most of the time i have.”
she pulls back just enough to look at him. he’s smiling, all soft eyes and lazy charm, and she feel the ache again—the one that’s been tucked somewhere under her ribs, the one that asks for more than this.
he kisses her once, slow and easy, before letting you go. “tell me when you get there,” he says, voice gentle now.
she nods, slipping her shoes, glancing back at him from the doorway. banksy’s already flopped by his feet, pablo watching her like he wants to follow. william catches her looking and smiles again, that same boyish curve of his mouth that hooked her years ago.
“I love you,” he says simply.
and she says it back—soft, automatic, true.
but when the door clicks shut behind him and the cool morning air hits her face, she feel that quiet ache again because loving him has never been the problem.
it’s the wanting more that hurts.
next
© 2026 M34TTHEWS
