hello friends!! checking in again!! ❤️
so the past two months have been…not great. I’ve been kind of a wreck emotionally and physically. I don’t know if the stress has affected my autoimmune disorder, but it’s definitely out of whack right now, and that’s not helping anything either.
I still don’t want to get into a ton of detail with what I’m going through, but the emotional/trauma aspect is still raking me across hot coals, metaphorically speaking. I’m on a waitlist for therapy, so hopefully that’ll be happening soon.
the physical aspect is what really has me stressed right now. I’ve already had three different doctor appointments/consults, and today I’m scheduled for the first really big tests and I’m terrified. (the test I have next week is even more terrifying, but I’m trying not to think about it until the first one is over.) I’ve been a nervous wreck and crying my eyes out all week. so if you can send good vibes or happy thoughts or prayers in my direction, they are very much needed. I’m so scared that it’ll be bad news.
in the meantime I am extremely lucky that Shane is taking great care of me and being super supportive, and I have friends who have let me cry it out and are doing everything they can to help keep me from spiraling completely (shoutout to Maeve especially for reading to me over the phone for four hours when I was in the worst possible place earlier this week) but I’m hoping that I get good news soon and my body and brain stop hating me and I can stop spiraling.
