#disabled problems

Just had one of those “wow, disability in public” moments that’s still sitting with me. While looking for a sewing kit at Dollar Tree, a kid (maybe 12?) rushed up, super excited to talk about the Ren fest tail they got today. (Cute! Love sharing joyful little nerd moments with people) Their mom came over, asked what was up, and when she heard us both say “Ren fest,” she just… yanked her child away and hurried off. The child still waved bye, though.

A few minutes later, I’m at checkout and the mom/child are in line behind me. The mom holds up a ‘Thankful’ house decor bulb thing and straight-up says, “When I seen you and then seen this, I thought of you rolling by and thought about how thankful I’m not like you.” Her kid giggled, embarrassed.

I just told her, as calmly as I could: “That wasn’t funny, ma’am. That was ableist for being thankful you’re not disabled like me. But don’t worry, you probably will be, one day. Everyone finds out eventually. I’m not trying to hurt you, just… this is how to be an ally. Please try to do better.”

She gets huffy and says, “Well, I have autism, so I can’t be ableist.” I respond, “I have autism too, ma’am. I’m just telling you how it was received so you can do better.” Her child nodded silently, and the mom stormed into a different checkout lane.

People need to hear this: Having a marginalized identity does NOT make anyone immune from perpetuating harm toward other marginalized groups. The urge some folks have to make others' existence a punchline? To teach their kids that pity or “thankfulness” for being able-bodied is kindness? Enough.

If this makes anyone squirm or feel defensive then good, Sit with it & Learn from it. Disabled people get used as teaching moments, sources of “inspiration” or “gratitude,” or just objects of awkwardness or hostility in public all the time. It’s exhausting.

COVID never ended for me but bc it fucked me up physically and mentally and now it's ykno, stlll going around, no one cares, everyone pretends it never happened, and that people who are still impacted by it are just collateral damage instead of. victims of a pandemic.

you all had fun playing Animal Crossing while you waited to return the world and yet here i sit playing games like Tomodachi Life and watching anime all day every day... im unable to do much else, partly because i have no friends left... which is partly because of COVID and my disabilities/ableism...

and i shame myself for it. i hate myself for the way i live my life. i dont want this, and i still feel ive done it to myself. but every way i look to try and change it, there's always a huge wall in my way. a wall that could be overcome if i just had a helping hand, strong support, and more resources.

but i guess the reason there's next to no where for a disabled nonworking queer person to go that's accessible and socially open is because. well. most people, or at least most people with resources and ability to create spaces, simply dont care about us.

(my thoughts are messy so under the cut this part goes)

BE ACCESSIBLE THIS PRIDE MONTH!

as of posting this, pride month starts tomorrow, and PLEASE keep your disabled community members in mind!

physically disabled people, mentally disabled people, the Deaf community, those with chronic illness, the blind community, all queer people should have the choice to be able to celebrate pride just like anyone else! ☆

I think a lot of people feel like they need to be at completely at peace with their disability

And you don’t!