Why's she so pretty 😍

Then there's her

Do I believe I'm bi? No, because I'm still hella busy convincing myself that I'm actually straight and just spent too much time in lgbtq+ spaces and now want to be part of it.

Sure. Cause I really want to be someone people don't believe exist. Because I really wanna deal with that crap.

But still, pretty sure I'm just pretending to be bi.

Anyways, female bodies are hot. Bare male chests are hot.

By Zachary Zane

January 15, 2018

This isn't something I care to admit, but it's the truth: I sometimes get tired of being bi. I get tired of justifying my sexuality to naysayers. I get tired of explaining to people that even though I primarily date men, I'm still bisexual. I get tired of feeling the need to justify or prove my sexuality, even though I know I don't have to.

The idea of settling down with one person frightens me, but not for the reasons you think. It has nothing to do with commitment. (If I do decide to be monogamous in the future, I believe I'll know and be ready.) It's because I know that if I do settle down with one person, folks will assume I'm gay if I'm married to a man or straight if I'm married to a woman. I don't like the idea of having these assumptions made about me. I don't want to appear straight or gay when I've embraced my identity as a queer, bi man.

In fact, I wonder if I do settle down with one person, whether I'll be quiet about my (bi)sexuality. Should I reaffirm my attraction to other genders, when I'm with a person of one gender? Wouldn't that make my monosexual partner feel insufficient— like they're not enough— if I'm constantly reclaiming my bisexuality? If I do decide to be monogamous or committed to one person, I want them to feel like they're enough. So constantly correcting people, telling them I'm bi, seems like I'm repeatedly reminding my partner that I'm attracted to other folks. That doesn't seem like the courteous thing to do to the person I love.

I'm exhausted from telling people that bisexuality doesn't perpetuate the binary. That the two in bi stands for genders that are your own and genders that aren't. I feel upstaged and out-queered when I say I'm bi and someone else says, Oh, I'm pansexual. Given that I'm attracted to all genders, I ask myself why I don't tell people I'm pan instead of bi. Isn't that the younger, hipper, more inclusive label that millennials are using? Why am I clinging to this older label, when there is another label, right now, that fits me?

I sometimes wonder if it's even worth it to date women. I'm currently more comfortable around men and I love gay male culture and spaces. I feel less awkward flirting with men and being myself around men. I don't question if I'm being too aggressive or too effeminate. I also get rejected significantly less by guys. So why do I put in the effort to meet women, especially straight ones? Besides, research has shown that most of the time straight women won't date me because I'm bi. So why do I try to date them?

I hate feeling part of gay culture, while simultaneously isolated by it. I hate feeling like I have this community, only to bring a girl I have a crush on out with my gay friends and to feel like a pariah and fraud. I hate how quickly gays turn on me when I simply talk about a woman, in a way that shows I'm sexually attracted to women too.

Wouldn't my life just be a hell of a lot easier if I identified as gay? If I only spoke about, dated, screwed, and loved men?

Yes, I believe it undoubtedly would be... if I were gay.

But I am not. I'm not gay at all. I never have been, and I never will be.

And while at times I may question whether it's worth it— so to speak— to claim the bi label, I always come to the same conclusion: Yes, it really is.

And it's something somewhat unexpected that brings me back to this conclusion. It's not that I want to live my life as my most authentic self (although that's part of it). It's not my desire to claim my own identity for myself and not to give other people that power over me (although that's part of it, too).

It's my exes.

I have been blessed to have dated some of the most incredible people in the entire world. From my first love, Sarah. She taught me that I have the capacity to love and care for others more than I love myself. She also helped me with the self-esteem issues I struggled with when I was 16. She saw the diamond in the rough before anyone else did.

To Jenny, the genderqueer/transgender bi dominatrix who I dated for a year after college. She was the first person to unconditionally accept me for who I was after coming out as bi. She pushed me to question myself and others.

To my most recent ex, Jason. He introduced me to polyamory, helped me overcome my issues surrounding jealousy, and encouraged me to explore myself more. We were one of the most compatible couples that have ever existed. I shared many of my happiest moments in life with him. In fact, many were directly because of him.

It's clear that each one of the people I loved helped me grow as a person. They all challenged me. They've all taught me things about myself, others, society, culture, history, art, and everything else imaginable.

They were also all folks of various genders.

It pains me to think that if I forced a route of being gay or straight or anything else other than bi, I wouldn't have had these experiences. I wouldn't have had these lovers. These people who shaped who I am. If I forced a monosexual route now, I would be forgoing intimate relationships with future partners too. Nor do I ever want to deny the important role these relationships played in my life. I'm only 26. I have my whole life ahead of me. Many more partners to share my life with. Many people to love and to love me.

First off, the first time I bingewatched this masterpiece of a show this man...

Just look at him, who wouldn't crush on him 🥺😍?

And then there's this man!

Gotta love a smart man...

Now, it's dawned on me how all the women are so stunning.

I mean look at our Narrator!!

Ursula is just so pretty

Don't even get me started on the Inspector

The nose ring is everything

And of course, Nairobi

(It needed to be Canon she was bi)

Thank you for listening to this TED Talk

I’m not 100% sure how to answers this question but I’ll give it my best shot!

You can't stop being attracted to the people you're attracted to.

I, as I'm forever saying in these conversations, am mostly straight. For a man this usually means most of the people one is attracted to are women. While this is true for me, in my case it might as well mean I'm attracted to most of the women I meet.

My tastes are very wide, wildly varied, and if you look at them too closely, somewhat disturbing. Old or young, thin, curvy, or fat, busty or flat, blondes, brunettes, and redheads with straight, wavy, curly, frizzy, kinky or fro'ed hair and ivory fair, peaches-and-cream freckled, ruddy, golden, olive tan, dusky, cocoa brown, or night-black skin, from any continent or a mix of all of them, tall, medium, or short, with an oval, round, shield-shaped, or heart-shaped face, many many women, both cis and trans, a fair percentage of intersex people, and a few men turn my crank.

This includes, as you might guess, a fair number of assholes, jerks, teases, fascists, martinets, religious fanatics—fanatics of all sorts, actually.

Obviously, once I know she is anti-intellectual, or withholding, or mean to children, or virulently racist, or whatever, my attraction drops like a rock. But it's not like that minority wears signs around their necks...

My horizons are broad, but the center of my attention is probably not far from the cis-het norm. So picture me sitting in a cafe trying to work and instead wasting time on Quora, and some sweet and stunning young woman walks in. She's thin and blonde and has that radiant glow that draws the eyes of the whole room, and she moves like a dancer, swaying between the tables with a motion of her hips that promises quite a bit more worldly knowledge than the innocence of the expression on her heart-shaped face or the smile on her chipmonk cheeks and cupid's-bow lips would suggest....

As you might suspect, I would probably have a difficult time keeping my eyes off of her. My heart would likely swell with hope and anticipation, my breathing would quicken, and I would have a lot of difficulty concentrating.

Now let's whisk this whole scene to somewhere in the Deep South, where some hard-right white-supremacy group is rallying to demonstrate for the Personhood Rights of blastocysts, and fascists from all over the state are flooding into the local area.

I figure the odds are VERY high that this—to look at her—angel of beauty is in fact a demon of hate. I would rather not be attracted to her. I would rather that NO ONE were attracted to her; if she stayed childless and alone throughout her life, that would suit me just fine.

I could talk to her for a few minutes, and once I got her to say something homophobic or anti-books, I could shudder and recoil from her the way she deserves.

But life is too short. I can't divide everyone in the world into "those I'd consider dating" and "ew, gross". So instead I just say to myself, "yep, she's pretty. I'm going to Not Do Anything about that."

And then I carry on with my day, playing on Quora and trying to get back to working. When I'm done, I go home, kiss (et cetera) my girlfriend, and go on with my life.