Do Mutual Aids even work anymore?
I feel as if if you don't write some catchy "mutual aid text" or something, the community and the people just won't try to help you - as if your self-worth to live is determined by how catchy your post or blog is, or how annoying it is (as in: if you DON'T write grandiose theory about mutual aid, which I've already tried to do in the past on a Reddit post but to no avail, you don't get to live, but if you write something too boring you get the same result), it is also determined by how much the other person thinks that your post is not skip-able, scroll-able and deserves the donation, or lastly, the person just isn't interested, because you're not the perfect identity that needs help (I am still privileged in this, since I am from Europe and white, but I bet that people from the global south, poc, especially black transfems, disabled people, etc... understand how it feels when people skip on them just because of their identity). If you're still reading this, PLEASE, don't skip, don't scroll and just give me the chance to get your attention till the very end (for you it may be just a few seconds of your life, for me it may be life-changing).
(also, sorry for any typos or weird use of words - English is not my native tongue and I'm writing this while half-asleep)
Why do I need help: So hiii! I'm a disabled transfem, currently 3 months on HRT and trying to find a job (preferably remote, something that I can do from home, but my "dream-job" is being an online artist that contributes to niche communities and can make people's days :3). I also just turned 18 this winter (so obviously not as independent and living in a rental with family for now), and let's just say, starting being an adult, or hell, being a disabled transfem of whichever age, is difficult. I feel lost with no escape, with no future (especially due to recent personal situation that I won't go into). I dunno where to go from now... So I want to get some starting money to actually be able to start being an adult, OR if I won't find a job quickly than I need to start saving up for potentially getting evicted in the future (since I really don't want the latter to happen, you can donate to me below so that I will be able to pay rent in the future - pls, I truly don't want this to happen, not again, because I was already evicted as a powerless teen, and 3 times exactly - so if you wanna know my back-story and how to help, please continue reading...).
Context/how I got here: So, I didn't think that I'd have to "beg on the internet" again but here we go. I made a fundraiser when I was 17, to fund my HRT, because I live in an Eastern European transphobic country that has YEARS LONG waiting lines, and especially doesn't allow autistic people to get diagnosed with gender dysphoria and start the transition process. So I just created a fundraiser for my HRT, 250 euros (since gogetfunding doesn't allow fundraisers with less than 250 bucks as a goal, and since gofundme is not available where I live). I found some local leftist and mutual aid orgs who shared it, but mainly, I found a fellow transfem friend who shared it on her Insta page, and that definitely helped LOTS (we're now friends, still texting months after, and I couldn't be more grateful to her). I used 75% of the money on HRT (due to our weird foreign-trading-policy, had to re-buy the HRT), and the additional 25% I used for rent (I know I know, rent isn't HRT, so used the money not just for what the fundraiser was funding for, but I didn't wanna become homeless/get evicted again, yknow? :/).
I come from a poor family because my father used to abuse me, my siblings and my mother; so we fled from him when I was around 13. But, obviously, misogyny + tight job market made it so that my mother couldn't get employed so easily. She went into jobs, done well, and then was fired without explanation (this is a known strategy by the employers, because the first year after signing the contract, they can fire you at any moment without any explanation - this made it so that even if my mother was PERFECT, her bosses could fire her without any explanation, right before the 1-year mark - this is just exploitation). Because of this, there was a lot of uncertainty, and at this point, we've already lived through 3 evictions (this was genuinely traumatic - I wanted to help, but I was just a teen, add to that that I was disabled and almost on the verge of institutionalisation, not to mention me being a transfem - this made me anxious to death, and unable to be a functional member of society). HRT literally saved my life, so I am now better, and my anxiety and OCD is slowly decreasing (so I want to "touch grass" again, meet friends, find a job, and be a functioning member of society, yknow). But the job thing is still going about, and I fear that this job that she has might end soon, so I am asking people on Tumblr dot com to please donate even just a few bucks so that we may be able to afford food in the future (since most of the wage money will go on the rent to not get evicted), or save up for rent (due to there being the uncertainty whether this boss will be a d*uche and will fire her again), OR, stuff that I will use to make me more functional to be able to find a job so that I can help with rent (I've explained a bit above, this would help me get a job, to help my family and become more independent, but I'll explain the specific products that you could buy me below).
What would I use the money for (if not for rent): Well, for all the stuff I need to become a human, an adult, a functioning member of society, but cannot afford (all the additional money would go to rent, internet and food). I made three categories, one which I really need, one which I need less but would still help, and one which is genuinely not needed but is just me being silly (nail polish in a trans flag colour scheme :D). So you can directly give me money on my kofi (which I would use to save up for rent and/or buy the stuff that I need), goal being around 150 euros/bucks, or indirectly buy me the stuff (scroll below to the links, if you don't wanna read as much). What products do I need? Well, stuff like gaff-underwear (so that if/when I'm groped, which yes has happened, I don't get outed so much that I'm scared of dying/hate-crimed), a phone (because yeah, I don't have a phone, and my family is quite scared to let me "go touch grass", because if something were to happen to me, I'll have no way to communicate - I have my laptop, for pleasure but also for work, but no phone to use outside- that's why I included in the wish-list the cheapest reliable phone that I could find, not for "pleasure" or whatever, but genuinely just for need, so that I can have Insta, Messenger, Discord and a Phone number, so that I can communicate with my friends and my family or call 911), razors (ew, body-hair, dysphoria, makes me not wanna go out or I'm just gonna get hate-crimed again), and such. What do I need less, but would still be nice? Stuff like a black nail polish and glasses which would be quite euphoric and more confident (but also, do need glasses, so will come handy in the future). What are the other stuff on the wish-list? They're all in my "save for later" folder, because I made the wish-list years ago when I was naive lol. Basically, they're the stuff that I genuinely don't need now. Although, if you'd donate for example for the iPad, I would not be mad, cuz it would mean that I could get back to digital art and would be able to do commissions (since yeah, used to draw, but phone broke :/). BASICALLY, these stuff are not "random treats" stuff, they are something that will help me get on my own feet. Everyone starts somewhere, but I start almost at 0. I sometimes can't even afford stuff that other people take for granted (it makes me kinda embarrassed, to be honest). I would need those stuff SO that I can touch grass and become more social and independent and functioning (for personal reasons, like meeting friends which would heal me and psychologically help me since we didn't see each other for 4 years, BUT also for financially responsible reasons like being able to go outside and find a job). How can I start living, how can I start being an adult and be responsible, when I'm not even financially able to live (gosh I love capitalism lol /jk)?
How can you help?: Either on my kofi, with smol donations (any donation countss), that go directly to me:
Become a supporter of Tomina Rey-Yuru today!
OR, to my wishlist, where you can indirectly buy me the stuff that I need:
Need:
Send Tomi gifts via Throne. Browse Tomi's wishlist and support your favorite creator safely.
Treats/"I still need this to be functional, but less":
Send Tomi gifts via Throne. Browse Tomi's wishlist and support your favorite creator safely.
A trans colour scheme for nail polish (this is just silly, and cheap, so I don't need it, but if you wanna spend less but still make my day, you can choose this :3):
Send Tomi gifts via Throne. Browse Tomi's wishlist and support your favorite creator safely.
Why should I help? I dunno, because it's a good thing to do? If not me, at least don't scroll on other mutual aids, and actually try to fund or even just share other more needed fundraisers, okii? Can you do that for me? Thx! :,3
But also, you could help from a selfish perspective/what You would get from donating: I'm a wannabe artist - I am trying to write (altho, due to last month's personal issues, had to go on a lil hiatus, will start writing my original story in about a week :3), and if you fund me, if you buy me stuff that I need to be functional and less stressed, or hey, even stuff that could help me get back into digital arts (like a tablet), then I'll be able to do commissions and arts again (in the future, you can hit me up if you wanna), AND even for free and for your enjoyment! :3 I can't really prove that rn, since I didn't yet do such great creations yet, but am I even able to if I am living week-to-week? About the state of this Tumblr, I like reblogging stuff, but in the future, I would genuinely like to post arts here (fanart and such :3), even some original content (short stories, but also links to my web-novels), and also maybe fanfics? So if you are confused and not flattered by my Tumblr presence right now, you don't have to be, I will try to clear/edit/re-do my blog in the next week to make it more neat :3
However: Whatever you choose: whether it be to reblog this, share this, or even donate whichever option - THANK YOU! But please, just don't ignore me, and my siblings on the internet that need more mutual aid than me. In fact, if you choose to ignore me, than please, at least donate/share those who need help even more, okay? For me, please help at least those that are in a bigger need, okii? QwQ (like migrants, Palestinians, Sudanese people, people fleeing from domestic violence, etc... I'm still very privileged compared to them)
