On binary transphobia and misogyny (with scenarios!!)
I’ve found as of late that it seems most binary transphobia stems from an internalized belief that women are inherently less-than. Maybe this is a cold take, but I want to explore it anyways.
When I say “binary” transphobia, I am referring to people born as male or female who transition to the “opposite” gender. So, males who transition into women and females who transition into men. Note that they stay the same biological sex (you cannot alter your chromosomes) but change gender. This is possible because while sex is stagnant (unless one has some sort of chromosome disorder), gender is a construct meant to place certain roles on different people. Sex is important to differentiate from gender because one is a concrete biological definition and one was made to oppress.
Now, women and people who present more feminine typically face greater oppression and hatred than men and masculine presenting people. The thing about this binary is that in our current situation in this post, there are four things someone can be:
Notice how there is only one situation in which someone is neither a woman nor female. This would be a cisgender man. In the present day, many people present their gender as “matching” their sex. Cisgendered women usually dress and act more feminine while cisgendered men usually dress and act more masculine. This means that many people who are less educated about such topics do believe sex and gender are interchangeable terms. They believe all females are women and all males are men, and that both sex and gender are not something you can alter (when in reality, only sex is unalterable).
This also leads to assumptions about presentation. A cisgender man with long hair and softer facial features could be mistaken as a female, and then treated as weird for dressing masculine. On the contrary, he could be treated as weird for looking feminine while being a man. This is due to the idea that women should dress and act like women and men should dress and act like men.
Now that we have a basic understanding of how society views gender, sex, and the roles people should adopt based on such labels, we can get into the transphobia that comes into play.
Let’s say we have a male named Max. Max grows up and realizes he isn’t a man, but a woman. Max decides to tell her closest friend, John, that she feels like a woman and is going to transition. Max says to John, “John, I have to tell you that I feel like a woman and I’m going to transition into the woman that I’m meant to be.”
John thinks about this and responds, “Max, you know I want what’s best for you, but are you sure? I mean, think about it, Max. You’re a man, why would you want to be a woman?”
Let’s break John’s response down. First, he ties Max’s sex with her gender. He says, “You’re a man,” even though Max has stated otherwise. John confuses Max’s sex, male, with her gender, a woman. But next, John says, “why would you want to be a woman?” This is where misogyny comes into play.
The world is built around men in most aspects, and therefore men have a lot of privileges that women don’t. Even though many people may say that they don’t realize these things, they subconsciously do. The mere thought of a man choosing to give up his privilege that comes with being a man is absurd. John, possibly unknowingly, is one of those who believe that no man in his right mind would ever give up the power that being a man is, and is therefore confused and disbelieving when one of his friends states she is doing just that.
John’s internalized misogyny keeps him from accepting that his friend could possibly be a woman, as she gave up that privilege. Thus, in this situation, he perpetuates transphobia in trying to convince Max that she isn’t a woman, because ‘why would a man ever want to be a woman?’
Now, in a world where there is less misogyny and people begin to dismantle the patriarchy, the situation could go like this:
Let’s say we have a male named Max. Max grows up and realizes he isn’t a man, but a woman. Max decides to tell her closest friend, John, that she feels like a woman and is going to transition. Max says to John, “John, I have to tell you that I feel like a woman and I’m going to transition into the woman that I’m meant to be.”
John thinks about this and responds, “Max, you know I want what’s best for you, but I’m not quite sure I understand your reasoning for this feeling you have. However, I’m your friend and I want to support you through this. I’m glad you felt that you were able to tell me how you feel.”
Max responds, “Thank you for your honesty, John. I know it might be hard to understand, but I’m grateful for your friendship and support through this.”
Honestly, this is how all of these types of interactions should go. In this world, the patriarchy still exists, hence why John is not fully understanding of Max’s situation, but John still supports his friend.
Now we have a second situation. Let’s say we have a female named Jayden. Jayden realizes one day that she isn’t a woman and wants to transition into a man. Jayden decides to tell his closest friend, Dan, about his transition. Jayden says to Dan, “Dan, I want to tell you that a I feel like a man, and I’m going to transition into the man I am.”
Dan says to him, “Jayden, I’m not too sure how this is going to go for you. You’re female, even if you say you’re a man people won’t accept it. You won’t be a real man.”
Let’s break this response down as well. Dan says “You’re female.” This is a correct statement, but technically irrelevant. You can be female and a man, male and a woman, or other genders despite your sex. Dan, like John, is tying gender to sex when they are separate ideas. Then Dan says, “You won’t be a real man.” This is indicative of internalized misogyny, as the idea that a woman could ever ascend past that title to a man is unheard of.
Misogyny and the patriarchy were created to give men the majority of the power while keeping women down through oppression. If there is a female that is able to get to the privilege of men, the whole idea of the system collapses because it wasn’t built to have people be able to change their level in it.
Therefore, when trans men enter the situation, the sentiment that they won’t be “real” men is made in an attempt to fix the collapse. If we decide that being a “real” man means being male, then females won’t be able to access the privilege of men, keeping the patriarchy intact.
Now, in our ideal world, the situation could go something like this:
Let’s say we have a female named Jayden. Jayden realizes one day that she isn’t a woman and wants to transition into a man. Jayden decides to tell his closest friend, Dan, about his transition. Jayden says to Dan, “Dan, I want to tell you that a I feel like a man, and I’m going to transition into the man I am.”
Dan says to him, “Jayden, I’m not too sure how this is going to go for you, but I want to support you. I might make some mistakes because this is new to me, but I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me.”
Jayden responds, “Thank you Dan. I understand that this might be difficult for you to adjust to, but in time it will be natural. I’m appreciative of your friendship and support.”
Even though Dan may be unfamiliar with the idea of being transgender, he realizes that his friendship with Jayden means more than not quite understanding something.
TL;DR, binary transphobia stems from the fact that the only people who never experience womanhood are cisgender men and the patriarchal system is built around them. Due to this system, both women and females are oppressed and are expected to stay in their respective levels, females as women and males as men, and it is absurd to think that males could want to lose their privileges as men and that females can gain those privileges as men.
Please be kind to anyone in your life that comes out as transgender. It’s a hard thing to do, telling people you that care about that you’re not who they thought you were, and knowing they could abandon you because of it. The queer community’s foundation is transgender people, we have existed and will continue to exist in a world not meant for us.
