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How To Let Go Of People Who Already Let You Go | Moving On | natassia_r1
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When Will It End?
I’ve been noticing lately that I’m being haunted by my ex. I don’t want to think about him. I have gone to great lengths to erase him from my life, including destroying all photographs of him, recycling every card he ever gave me, deleting him from all my social media - even comments on posts! Today, I was on LinkedIn and a mutual friend posted something and I wanted to look at all the comments to see who had commented (we have many mutual people) and it only showed 2 of the 3 comments. Since my ex and I blocked each other on all social media, I can only assume it was a comment from him, right? I don’t care what happens to him, but I wish I could forget I ever met him. He was a horrible abuser who almost destroyed me. After being verbally and emotionally abused, cheated on, lied to, and cruelly discarded, I somehow climbed from the ashes and moved away, got a new job, and now have an incredibly happy life (minus the pandemic)! I realize now I was sucked in by a love-bombing narcissist who never loved or cared about me. He actually told me over and over that he didn’t give a shit about my feelings and that my feelings were stupid. Yet, I stayed. I was deeply in love with the love-bomber at the beginning. I thought he was the guy I was with and magically that guy would come back if I acted right. My ex made me believe that the reason I wasn’t getting that guy was because there was something wrong with ME and I deserved rejection and mistreatment because I was the broken one. I now see him clearly for what he was (and still is, I’m sure). And, I know that I’m pretty great and have so much love, kindness, and compassion to give, which I do to my kids, my granddaughter, my friends, and family. They all love me and think I’m pretty wonderful. So, why does this guy still haunt me and upset me? We haven’t had any contact in over two years! My counselor says it’s typical for someone who’s been as badly abused as I was to feel this way. I just want it to stop! He took 13 years of my life, and did everything he could to cause me misery during that time. I will not let him take up one more second in my head. If only it were that simple. But, I’m working on it!
happiness
never give someone the power to destroy your happiness. and if you think they make you happy when all you guys do is fight, darling, you are very wrong. nobody deserves it. women do it men and vice versa. guys do it to guys as girls do it to girls. no matter what you gender, age, sexuality, race, or experience with that kind of thing, it still hurts like a bitch.
⚖️ The difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one? Is how conflict is dealt with. ~ Rick dC // @SaveMeFromToxic #unhealthyrelationship #healthyrelationship #goodrelationship #badrelationship #relationshipquotes #relationship #relationshipdifferences #conflict #dealingwithconflict #dealwithconflict #rickdc https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpfx_UCvw62/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
My husband planned on making a nice dinner and hemmed and hawed about going to the liquor store for some beer. I encouraged him to do as he wished and he went. I was having a nice time last night (things are hard, so I try to embrace a little levity when I can get it). I was playing the kid’s recorder, goofing off, solo-ing terribly to a David Byrne record that he put on. The kids were enjoying some screen time. My husband joked, “Would you like me to film this for you? It could be a vanity project.” He injected only a little bit of disdain and I disregarded it. He seemed like he was enjoying my making a fool of myself and I was too.
Later, we ate dinner, and after, our daughter asked for an orange. As I was at the counter peeling it for her, my husband said, “One of your legs is much larger than the other one.”
Aside from saying I looked like Ben Franklin or David Foster Wallace (lady’s dream comparisons), he’s never really commented on my physical appearance. On occasion, he has said I looked nice when I’ve spent unreasonable amounts on my hair and makeup before an event. It’s fine, I don’t need a lot of complements on my physical appearance (I generally believe if people are sort of fit, content, and move around a little then they probably look ok) and I can even handle jabs too -- but the proportion of my legs was something that I was pretty sure about and, considering the status of our relationship, it stung when he said that.
I looked down and laughed, “No, it’s not. Do you have Other Body Dysmorphia?” He then started digging in a serious way, and brought our 4-year-old into the debate asking her to -- get this -- pick which of my legs was different. I found a piece of string, measured the largest width circumference of my calves and proved to myself that my calves were not disproportionately muscular and let it go. It made him angry that I did that.
Later that night, I got my daughter ready for bed as my husband cleaned up dinner. My daughter always likes to spend some time with her father at bedtime but right as I put her down, he started playing electric guitar at a loud volume. I went down to ask why he was doing that at our daughter’s bedtime and he again became angry, explaining that he had wanted to play guitar all day but couldn’t because he had cooked dinner (as though it was my fault he decided to cook dinner and go to the liquor store.) He started cussing and yelling at me. (this is something that I have been guilty of too -- but I have begun to recognize my triggers) but eventually came around to saying goodnight to his daughter. When things escalate my lately my refrain is, “You have to talk to me if you want something. We can make a plan -- but I can’t read your mind. Things are tense right now. I feel like we really make an effort to be gentle to each other”.
At the end of the night, after he put the kids to bed I tried to talk to him as he was writing an email to his friend. The only thing he said was, “I never want to start a fight with you.” Which, judging from the past several months, I guess I should interpret as “I never want you to confront me.”
When he acts like this: when he lies to the therapist while he sits next to me in couples counseling, when he makes me question my sanity, when he denies that things he did happened, when he tells me that I’m expressing my concerns to manipulate him or start a fight, I feel like my world has turned into a hallway of funhouse mirrors. The funny thing is: I know that he is distorting reality. He’s treating me terribly, his relationship with his son is rocky, and so far, he’s treating our daughter fairly well – but I don’t know how long that will continue. If he wants an ally, it could be indefinite -- she does remind him of his mother’s family.
Here is why I stay when things are so bad:
· He wasn’t always like this so there is a part of me that knows this isn’t him. He used to follow social norms: if he accidentally hurt someone, he could apologize. If I hurt him, he could tell me and I could say “sorry”. If someone was happy, he would join in their happiness instead of trying to bring them down. He didn’t blame me for all of his feelings of disgust and irritability.
· By spending so much of last summer fighting, we’ve taken so much away from our children. I want us to try to do something right for them – and divorce is terrible for them. Because we have young kids, we will also still be in eachother’s lives if we get a divorce. we will still disagree about parenting, he and the boy will still resent each other, I just won’t be around as support for the boy when his father yells at him to "be a man" or kicks a soccer ball at him.
Here is my plan for now:
· Keep going to therapy, embrace that I am fine. I’m not perfect -- but I am definitely not the vain, manipulative, monster that someone is trying to convince me that I am.
· Be attentive and loving to my children and accept that I am the only one who is providing warmth and security to my son right now.
· Get the kids out into the world and let them dive into what they are great at. Help my son find positive male role models and reinforce that he can be like a good man that he admires if he wants to. Listen to him. Encourage him to defend himself. Let him know when he is right to be upset and when he needs to reframe his thinking (e.g. it’s ok for your dad to ask you to clean your room; it’s not ok to for him to hurt you or make you feel small or scared.)
· Give back to my support system, spend time with them, try to have fun, try to provide warmth
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#relashionship #badrelationship #waste #awaste #awasteoftime #relashionshit #notworthit #truetothat #truth #moments #PicOfTheDay https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Nbg38jzZs/?igshid=sk8usp8fcjld
If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you'll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority. #repost @lytnaeks Sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve. #truelove Staying in an unhealthy relationship can keep a person from finding their own way and moving to the next level of their own path-and that person could even be you. Sometimes the best way to save someone is to walk-away. Real love sometimes means saying goodbye. #notlove Something I just recently learned was that chased love, is not love. If you have to run after it, talk it into staying, remind it of your value, fight alone for the both of you, issue ultimatums, or test it-it is not love! It's not love, it's not happiness, it's not fair, it's not healthy, the only thing it is...is a waste of your time. #unhealthyrelationships If you have to decide if you love someone or not. You don't. #badrelationship Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes the person you want most, is the person you're best without. #badrelationships Sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you. #itisntlove You can't force love, you have to let it find you. #nottruelove Anyone you have to chase is trying to get away. #chasinglove Never chase love, affection or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having. #neverchase Stop forcing the situation to be what you want it to be. Let it be what it's going to be. #dontrushlove You don't have to chase what God sent. #stopforcinglove You can't save a relationship unless both people are equally invested. It takes a joint effort to make it work. One person trying will never be enough. #forcinglove Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?- 2Cor6:14 #letitbe You should never hate being single so much that you pursue unhealthy relationships or fear being hurt so much that you avoid healthy ones. #rushinglove Bad relationships are like a bad investment. No matter how much you put into it you'll never get anything out of it. Find someone that's worth investing in. #letloveflow (at Track One) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1KKLG3lmd7/?igshid=x4qc4cnr58pw
How to Avoid Bad Relationships
Avoiding a bad relationship will take some thought and work but will be well worth it in the end. Learn nine things to consider and think about when you meet someone you would like to be in a relationship with.
Read More: https://gisondolaw.com/how-to-avoid-bad-relationships/
