You are not behind. You are not late. You are unfolding exactly as you were meant to.
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You are not behind. You are not late. You are unfolding exactly as you were meant to.
Unknown

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Choose people who choose you.
@citate
From the book, UNSINGLE: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts
a little grumpy, a little flower 🖤🌸

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Few days ago, in the same place, at the same time, with the same pen and the same piece of paper, I was writing about loving you in every way a heart could possibly know. Today, with that same pen in my hand, I find myself writing about how perhaps the love between us was never enough to keep us tethered to one another.
As a hopeless romantic, I always believed that love could conquer everything. I believed it could bridge every distance, soften every wound, and overcome every storm. But somehow, it failed to conquer the quiet indifferences that grew between us. It could not bring us close enough to realize that we were both carrying pain we unknowingly gave each other.
Somewhere along the way, we robbed one another of the dreams that once made us believe we could conquer the world together. We had both been broken into a hundred pieces before we found each other, yet somehow, we managed to break each other into a million. And now, standing among the ruins of what we were, it feels like there is nothing left for either of us to hold onto.
It feels as though a powerful wind swept through our lives, and the roots we thought were strong enough to hold us were far more fragile than we imagined. In one moment, the tree we spent so much time nurturing was uprooted. It is as if we carved our names together into a wall, believing that time would make the letters deeper and stronger, only to realize the ink was still too fresh, and a storm of gravel and rain was enough to erase everything we had written.
What we thought was our shelter became the thing that broke us.
We came to each other carrying our vulnerabilities, our fears, and the hidden parts of ourselves we were afraid to show the world. But somehow, the very things we trusted each other with became the weapons we used against one another. We learned each other’s wounds so intimately that we knew exactly where to hurt.
So when does this end?
Maybe it never does. Maybe this is the way we loved, pulling and pushing, reaching for each other while simultaneously tearing each other apart. We became so consumed with proving who could hurt the other more that we failed to notice we were both becoming more wounded, more fragile, and more lost.
Maybe it will never end.
But perhaps we have already ended.
Not in the way that love disappears completely, but in the way that even a small ray of hope now makes our souls tremble. Not because we don’t want the light, but because we are terrified of what it might cost us. Terrified that we will lose it again. Terrified that we will lose each other again.
What if the little piece of love we have left for one another slowly fades away?
What if, in trying to rebuild us, we lose the pieces of ourselves we have fought so hard to protect?
What if the greatest thing we lose is not each other, but who we were before we broke?
“Don’t exhaust yourself trying to command what was never meant to be under your control. Put that energy into the things you can shape with your own hands, your own heart, your own imagination.” — inspired by Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart