#abusiverelationship

“I know.” Her voice relieved him.

“I only want the best for you, you know that, right?” His voice frightened her.

“Of course I do.” A tear dropped from her face. Her voice was unstable. She caressed the man's biceps thoroughly to get him to relax.

“Of course you do, smart girl,” he grazed her waist delicately, not wanting to break her any further. “Always findin’ a way to make me proud.”

He pushed a stand of hair away from her red, puffy face and kissed her mascara stained cheeks. Her cheek had a slight curve downwards from the man's ring from how hard he had punched her. Yet he always found a way to make her feel awful for his series of sick decisions, so she would condone the imperfect man. He loved her after all, he just didn't know how to show her properly, the way she deserves.

"Gaslighting is the manipulation of someone into questioning their own perception of reality. The expression, which derives from the title of the 1944 film Gaslight, became popular in the mid-2010s. Some mental health experts have expressed concern that the term has been used too broadly" - Wikipedia

There is nothing more exasperating than knowing the truth, speaking the truth, and not being believed. For many, it's an ongoing battle – one that leaves the individual feeling unheard and invalidated. Having experienced gaslighting, you'll want to steer clear of it, but it's everywhere. It's in families, it's in politics, it's in society, and it's in the wider world. It's a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation.

Gaslighting stems from Narcissism

Gaslighting stems from narcissism – and narcissism thrives on control and manipulation. A narcissist will do whatever it takes to make their version of reality the only one that counts. If you challenge or question their account of what happened with facts, they will see you as a threat and will seek to undermine you. The more truthful you are, the harder they will work to discredit you – whether through gaslighting or conjuring up a smear campaign.

The Role of the Narcissist

Narcissists by nature strive to appear believable, even when they’re not, while truth-tellers are ignored. Skilled in persuasion, they exude confidence, making them seem credible. If a parent has narcissism, their children will too. Yet, most narcissists don’t realise they have narcissism—instead, they see others as the ones who are out of step with their distorted thinking.

Your Truth is ALWAYS 'valid'

It's important to remember that your truth does not become any less valid and looking for external validation is a natural response to being ignored or dismissed. Stand firm in your truth, regardless of the external noise, it's a quiet yet powerful act of resistance. The truth has a way of surfacing. It's important to remember that your strength lies in not letting go of it.

They are not the best you’ll ever have. You deserve so much better.

I love you