(before i start, i want to mention that iām opposed to the afab/amab dichotomy outside of an intersex context, but iāll be using it here for the sake of brevity. iāll be putting it in quotes because i think itās an oversimplification of gendered upbringing and experiences, but thatās something iāll be talking about later)
i wish people would stop saying that āafab transfemā implies that trans women arenāt women, because thatās not it at all. for example, iām a perisex āafabā person, but i was raised androgynous. i never felt like a girl growing up, i was barely treated like a girl (only in medical contexts really), i missed out on all the conventional female coming-of-age milestones, and now i want to fully identify as a woman, but it feels unfamiliar and like itās something i have to explore. iām not ācis+,ā because i was never cis to begin with. i was afab but i didnāt have a gender. now i do. and iām not a ādomesticated tomboyā either (barf), because my androgyny as a kid wasnāt a rebellion, it was just how it was raised. my femininity now is a rebellion the same way it is for āamabā trans women.
i donāt think trans women arenāt real women. i donāt think iām not a real woman. i know iām a woman, and i know that iām transitioning towards womanhood. that by definition makes me a trans woman, even if i donāt have the conventional body or experiences most people expect. i donāt go through the exact same things āamabā trans women do, and i recognize i have privilege in being perisex āafabā and perceived as a woman. i also agree that intersex people are excluded from these arguments all too often, and i wish people who were raised genderless, āuaab,ā or otherwise had gnc upbringings would be included too, especially when that overlaps with being intersex. all iām asking for is for people to not think iām a horrible bigot for things out of my control like my upbringing and my gender, and for some kind of community with other people transitioning to womanhood.
This is transgynephobia affecting varsex, culturally gendered, plural, and non-binary fems.
It is so weird how AFAB/AMAB language has changed the way people treat transfem & transmasc as identities.
Transfem and transmasc were not coined under an AGAB context. The AGAB context was applied later. It is sad that "AGABless" and "assignment variant" versions of transfem & transmasc had to be made, because once upon a time nobody would have associated them with AFAB & AMAB.
AFAB/AMAB describes only one thing - what letter/word is on someones birth certificate. It does not describe how they were raised, it does not describe every experience they have had with socially imposed gender.
Not only does it harm people like you with inconsistent or vague socially imposed genders, but it also harms people who were raised as a cultural gender, people who have detransitioned and are retransitioning, people who are plural, and non-binary people are transitioning to a different form of femininity/masculinity or manhood/womanhood (ie; transitioning from binary woman to multigender woman.)
