May 30, 2024
i dont care about validity i care about my civil rights
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i dont care about validity i care about my civil rights
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some people will really come out here like "well if a trans man has been on testosterone for 10 years and has top and bottom surgery and doesn't interact with people who knew him before he transitioned or only interacts with people who aren't transphobic and doesn't present as feminine or nonconforming or otherwise queer and is strictly heterosexual and never wants to have their own children and never has any reproductive or otherwise gendered health issues at all and never has any negative experience with the legal system and doesn't experience interpersonal abuse that could require them to seek outside help and doesn't experience any lasting trauma on the journey to getting to that point in life then trans men Basically aren't even oppressed and have it pretty easy in life when you really think about it"
and people are just lining up to be like "Huh Wow.... Pretty Messed Up When You Think About It That Way" like damn, guess nobody's oppressed anywhere for any reason then 😭
begging young people to stop getting all their opinions from pinterest and tiktok
NO, radical feminism doesn’t suddenly become a-okay as long as it’s trans inclusive
NO, you being traumatized by men doesn’t give you an excuse to threaten random people you perceive as men
NO, someone’s identity not making sense to you isn’t a personal attack against you or the queer community as a whole
NO, you can’t call intersex people disordered or deformed
NO, intersex people DO want to be included in the queer community, stop speaking on our behalf
NO, using the f slur AS A SLUR isn’t reclaiming it, regardless of whether it applies to you or not
NO, having kinks isn’t a gateway to becoming a horrible abuser
NO, it’s not okay to threaten random people for having contradictory labels
NO, sex work is not inherently predatory and always abuse
NO, men CAN AND DO have periods and get pregnant (YES, including those icky cis men. intersex cis men exist)
GET OFF PINTEREST AND TALK TO PEOPLE
On the (online) ace & aspec community’s antiblackness, once and for all.
'Using this age old script of whiteness, ace and overall aspec communities weaponise the Mammy and the Jezebel against Black aces and aros, assuming and projecting sexuality onto us that we do not want, whilst also demonising the parts of sexuality we do want to take part in, directly or indirectly, alongside our romantic attractions, sensualities, QPRs and friendships. In online ace and aspec spaces, the white fear of Black sexuality is reborn with queer terminology in its right hand and a tumblr login on its left. Echoing James Baldwin’s words, the queer world still isn’t prepared to accept Black people yet and neither are the asexual or aromantic worlds either.'
'Eeriely, I now follow the very same path as Yasmin Benoit. An Asexual Jezebel, a somehow sexless sexual predator, who enforces Black sexual deviancy, the great harasser of innocent white children and the white sex repulsed, but also an Asexual Mammy, expected to serve her white counterparts endlessly, on demand, with no reward and no rest and a threat to white sexual normalcy and its sexual reproduction.'
'How many more? How many more Black people will be driven away because of this community’s antiblackness? How many more Black aspecs will we lose access to because they can’t safely be in community with other aces and aros anymore? Black asexuals and Black aromantics continue to be the bedrock of aspec activism, contacting MPs to include asexuality in their LGBT policies and pushing for legal recognition of asexuality and aromanticism, publishing reports on the anti-asexual medical stigma, raising awareness of asexual conversion therapy, pushing back on the capitalist and conservative control of romance, building coalitions with lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans orgs, creating artworks of asexual and aromantic representation and commentary and writing works on asexuality and aromanticism as social-political frameworks, to educate others and create an archive of our works for future aspec generations, like this very essay you are reading right now. And yet we are the most insulted, most hated and most neglected people of this entire online aspec space.'
There was a tiktok video floating around twitter a bit ago. The very first thing I thought of when I saw the comments is that, at the core, they truly believe "men pretending to be trans to get off sexually" is a real thing that one should be concerned about. Sounds a lot like TERFs don't it?
There's so many different aspects to it. We can also clearly see "men invading women's/lesbian spaces" as a common theme. "Men think they're entitled to lesbians! Lesbians don't want you! You aren't a lesbian." Still sounding a lot like TERFs!
Loads of gender essentialism; saying that asking "who want me?" is a "man" thing to do (so what about the trans women I see asking where the trans men who want them are at? Does embracing your sexuality prove trans women are men, since they're doing the exact thing you claim is a man thing?)
I had one person respond that "it's cool when women do it", which is fucked up in many ways. So, it was cool for him prior to transitioning, and now since he's trans it's not cool? Do you hear how fucked up that is? Or the general sentiment said abt sexual harassment too, that it's fine when women sexually harass bc it's not as bad as a man right?
Not even touching on how the issue he made clear was the isolation and alienation for being masc. He wasn't saying "(wokely) if you don't sleep with me I'll KMS" it was "treating people with hostility makes them feel bad."
The saddest part is he was talking about cis people kicking him out of queer spaces
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Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?
I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.
Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.
It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.
We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.
To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:
The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.
Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.
If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.
You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.
Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!
i can't say i experience misogyny because that's "misgendering myself" and i can't say i experience anti-transmasculinity or transandrophobia because those terms are apparently offensive in some way. but i really think people just want trans men to stop complaining about their oppression so that they don't have to live with the fear that they're capable of hurting someone
I'm gonna say something which might be controversial, but it needs to be said:
The tendency in *some* spheres of Orthodox Judaism to venerate figures in Tanakh and Chazal, the Geonim, Rishonim, and Acharonim (as well as more modern Rabbis) and to treat every anecdote and statement they ever made as Halacha and as something good, and to accuse anyone who tries to humanize them and point out their character flaws or statements they made that are factually wrong, of heresy.....that tendency borders on uplifting human beings to godhood which is tantamount to Avodah Zara. *Especially* post-Tanakh figures in a post-Neviim world.
You can't go around treating the Rabbis like they were omniscient and all-knowing. They were incredibly intelligent and skilled people but they were still people, and sometimes they did or said things that were outright stupid or wrong. And that's okay! Because a Rabbi in Talmudic times saying something factually wrong about astronomy or goats or women doesn't negate their expertise in other realms of Halacha, just like some Nobel Prize winning physicist shouldn't be taken as an expert on botany or psychology or anything outside of their realm of expertise, and it doesn't negate their intelligence or accomplishments to say that. I say this as someone who grew up Orthodox and still considers himself Orthodox. I am a Rabbinic Jew. Rabbinic Judaism is what allowed us to survive as a people in a post-Temple world. I love Rabbinic Judaism!
The Rabbis who made Rabbinic Judaism happen were incredibly knowledgeable about many things, but they were still people, and they still got things wrong. I'm not even talking about things relating to morality or social attitudes (such as racial and gender relations), I'm talking about verifiably untrue statements about anatomy or biology or geology or astronomy. And I think when we encounter these Rabbis's false statements, it's extremely unhelpful to either pretend they didn't say them, or to try and rationalize them in a stream of apologetics. Sometimes people are just wrong. It's okay. It doesn't change their contributions to Halacha and to Judaism as a whole, it doesn't mean we should throw out everything they've ever said, but it's actually quite possible for someone to either repeat the false science of their time or to just make an ignorant statement that comes from a lack of experience in whatever subject they're discussing. I think it's theologically dangerous to accuse people of heresy when they point out that the Rabbis weren't perfect. I think it's theologically dangerous to act like the Rabbis were infallible- that's how we get messianic cults.