đ€: A Study In Hands
Ever since TJ had met Libby, he wanted to learn sign. He wanted to be able to talk to Libby-- he was trying to be more considerate-- but also because sign was intriguing, there was an art to it, it was infectious and expressive and it had a hell of a lot more emotion than words ever did. He knew this because he watched Walker and Libby have long conversations and even though he couldnât understand most of it because they were going too fast and they used sign jargon he hadnât learned yet, he did know that every time Walker made some specific gestures, Libbyâs face stretched into a smile like no other -- it was like Walker had offered her the moon -- and her face turned a gentle pink. TJ wanted to make Cyrus feel like that -- not with words but through sign, all silent and affectionate and like each hand movement plucked a star made specifically for the boy he loved. So he asked Libby and he immediately regretted not asking her earlier as he learned the softest things said in the lightest ways with the heaviest fondness.
He practiced a specific one the night before Monday and practiced it during his daily dose of corn puffs the following morning and then, he sprinted to school and stopped in front of Cyrusâ locker with a piercing squeak of sneakers against linoleum floor. Cyrus looked up immediately at the sound and opened his mouth to say âheyâ but TJ was quicker, bringing up his hand in a flimsy, jerky gesture: his index finger, pinky and thumb pointing up while his middle and ring finger folded over his palm.
Cyrus understood right away if the widening eyes were anything to go by. The initial shock of TJ signing the most endearing thing, with his tongue peeking out of his mouth in his concentration, wore off leaving behind a smile and a tenderness around brown eyes that lit up TJâs world like a thousand suns. TJ knew he had succeeded.Â
Cyrus echoed his hand sign but at the last second he added something new: crossing his index and middle finger together.
âI really love you.â He breathed out between them when he caught the confusion on his boyfriend's face and TJâs grin morphed into something goofier as he crossed his fingers too.
There they were, two boys desperately in love standing in the middle of the hallway, signing âI love you" and sharing a sense of warm adoration, a sense of connection like theyâd reached another level in the unpredictable adventure that was their relationship.Â
And that was how TJ learned 'I love you' in sign language and spent each waking moment of his life signing it to Cyrus (AKA every class they had together where TJ couldn't communicate his love verbally). In the more tender moments, he'd sign the whole thing. Libby eventually taught him more little compliments like "you look cute today" and "you're beautiful" and "I missed you" and it was a certain thing that that was how TJ showered Cyrus with compliments when he wanted to go the mile.













