Aug 31, 2018
I think I feel the same way for friend breakups as most people do with romantic breakups
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I think I feel the same way for friend breakups as most people do with romantic breakups
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Psa: I don't want a boyfriend but I would like an exclusive boy frind. Thanks. Pls submit ur cv to my profile thanks guys.
The literal worst part about being Demi romantic is that literally itâs so hard to feel feelings for people? Like nothing clicks? Some people itâs like YES HOLY SHIT I LIKE YOU PLS GIVE ME A SMOOCH AND LET ME SHOW YOU THE WORLD
the rest of the time Iâm like â.. I meanâŠI'm sorry but like um.. no⊠pls...donât touch me.. like.. AT ALL.. on second thought don't talk to me either... I'm uncomfyâ
And then I get weird looks from friends for not being more active when a romo moment arrives and I'm just
"sorry guys I don't.. work like that I can't just develop feelings on the fly? I can't just look at someone and have a crush? Like no it takes actual effort and me knowing the person to feel that romantic pull"
You know that thing that aromantics do? Where you find another aro and really hit it off and spend a lot of time together because [ (if you are both allosexual) the sex is good and] the friendship/partnership is easy? And people around you start to romanticize everything and call you a couple and eventually you start questioning your own identity because everyone keeps telling you itâs romantic, and you start to see everything about it in that light and eventually the happy queer platonic relationship falls apart because you are questioning yourself and trying to distance yourself from a romance that doesnât exist? or is that just me?
Ok so I like would probably want to get married just for the fact I could have Taco Del Mar cater my wedding but the thought of getting proposed to makes me feel so uncomfortable lmao why am I like this!!!
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One of the boys I've been talking to recently started acting like he might have a crush on me and I've just been pushing it out of my mind like nah can't be but today he tried to hug me at lunch and I noped my way out of it and basically I'm really aromantic and I keep forgetting but then it's thrown back in my face every once in a while
The amount of times people have implied that I, an aromantic, and my best friend, an aro ace, will one day get together and start dating is actually kind of gross. It's even come from people that I thought would understand. I know that most people think a long term bond between two people automatically means they will date or get together eventually, but when it comes to two people who have no interest in a relationship and who respect each others sexualities, why would you feel the need to imply that something will happen eventually?? Romantic love is expressed to be the most important thing in anyone's life to the point that no one seems to grasp the concept of being happy without it.
zaza i feel like i don't belong anywhere. i want a life companionship, something like a best friend partner for life, without the sex or romance or kids. I'm asexual and sex-repulsed and i think i also fit the label of aromantic. I don't know why i am the way i am, i don't think i want to change myself, or force myself to do things i don't want to do, but it also makes me feel like everyone and society is rejecting me. nobody would ever want to be with someone like me. (1)
the people whom i love most - my best friends - even they too would eventually leave. Because everyone wants that normal relationship and that normal marriage with sex and romance and the promise of family with kids. And when that happens, of course they would prioritize their romantic/family life over "just friends" like me. And i understand it's not their fault for wanting that. I understand that it's basically my fault for being an anomaly and invalidated.Â
but i know it's not their fault, i know the root of the problem is me. I know i'm the reason i'm undesired by anyone. and it hurts to know i'll always be left behind and alone for the rest of my life. i wish i could believe otherwise, because that's all i want - to love and be loved, to have someone care for me as much as i care for them - but at this point it's just so difficult for me to believe that, especially when hearing everyone's reaction when i come out i feel so helpless and isolated and i hate myself more and more each day.Â
Lately i've also started having suicidal thoughts and i know it's bad but contemplating about suicide feels liberating. it just feels like there's no point in living a life so aimless and lonely. i don't know what to do, i don't know what to feel. i just want to feel happy again, what should i do zaza?
well first, youâve GOT to reach out and speak to someone about your suicidal thoughts. itâs and incredibly troublesome mindset to have, as you deserve to live a happy life, regardless of what society has made you believe. i rly hope youâll find a mental health professional who can walk to the realization tht thereâs nothing wrong with not wanting to engage in sex.
i mean, youâve got to realize tht no one is at fault. thereâs literally no blame, cuz no oneâs doing anything wrong. different ppl want different things out of life. one isnât a âbetterâ or âworseâ way to live- just different ways to be. yes, many ppl do want the spouse/kids/dog life, but not everyone. some ppl just want a partner to share their life with in a non-sexual capacity. and others donât want to live with anyone, they crave their solitude and peace.
you are not alone, you are not faulty. some ppl like to play tennis, some ppl like to have sex. just cuz you donât like one or both of those things doesnât mean youâre not worthy of love. sex isnât love. sex is just an activity. if you start searching, youâll find many other ppl who feel the same way-not interested in actually having sex. you donât have to live alone, you can have a partner.
what youâve got to do, is accept who you are. accept tht thereâs nothing wrong with being ace/aro. then go out and find like minded ppl who share your beliefs about such things. they are most definitely out there, you just have to look. i rec starting over at AVEN, as thereâs loads of ppl who meet thru tht site. even if you donât meet anyone there, donât let tht stop you. keep searching. you partner or partners are out there, waiting for you. so donât disappoint them by ditching this beautiful gift of life tht youâve been given.Â
i know itâs hard turtledove, but you can do this. i have faith enuf for the both of us. sending you all the luck and love!