#4h synastry

𑣲 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 ᢉ𐭩

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 - huge one here. moon feels comfortable with the adoration and admiration venus provides. venus in turn feels adored by the moon persons warmth and love.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 - emotional joy and celebration with this aspect. the jupiter person connects the moon person to their inner child which allows them to “play” and express their feelings openly. moon allows jupiter to be big and bold without judgement or fear.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐲 - moon is in tune with the 7th house persons feelings and emotions. they can sense what brings the 7th house person security, commitment and comfort. their warmth feels soothing to the 7th house person and becomes their ideal place to be.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲 - moon feels their emotions are completely understood and validated by the mercury person and in turn, the mercury person feels like the moon person can help them verbalize their own emotions because they are so in tune with each other. they may finish each others sentences and it creates a very intuitive vibe between them.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐬 - this is softer than the moon conjunct mars aspect in which the trine has a more soothing effect. mars is protective of the moon and not in a harsh way, but in a gentle and warm way. moon then responds in an emotionally open energy towards the mars because they feel protected and safe.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐨 - juno feels devoted to the moon and sees the moon person as their one and only. they have a soft spot for them because the way moon expresses their emotions and just “is” makes the juno person want to protect and choose them over and over. moon in turn feels secure and safe with juno because they can physically feel juno’s devotion to them.

۶ৎ 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐨 - similar to moon conjunct juno, but the way venus expresses their love and affection is exactly what juno desires in a partner. this becomes even stronger when this conjunction is in the 7th house. juno becomes devoted to venus and desires their affection and will be committed to receiving it. venus in turn, feels valued and continues to pour affection into the juno person.

۶ৎ 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - the venus person feels like the 7th house persons ideal partner and vice versa which can create a soft spot for each other. they can both see the potential level of commitment within the connection even in the early days.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - moon feels at home in this overlay and tends to make the 4th house person feel very comfortable around them and at ease. the moon person provides the safe space for the 4th house person to be their true self behind closed doors which causes the both to feel this equal exchange of comfort. this creates a mutual soft spot and a safe haven in each other. this can bring a strong feeling of attachment to the other.

۶ৎ 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧- i have this with my partner in cancer and this aspect, although talked about a lot really does create a soft spot for another person. as the sun, you see the moon person as the embodiment of your inner self and you deeply and intrinsically understand their emotions which makes it easy to validate them. the moon person sees their true self in you and wants to support and admire you for who you are. you become each others safe space and personal cheerleader.

۶ৎ 𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬 (moon, venus, sun, jupiter) - you become the place the other feels free to express their inner child. in this house overlay, you feel that you can express joy to the highest degree when you’re around each other. this creates a feeling that one or both of you is wrapped around the others finger because the joy and romance is so addicting. you feel that when being around this person, they uplift your mood even when you’re going through hardships in your own life.

۶ৎ 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - venus feels comfortable in the 4th house persons space and finds pleasure being around the other. the 4th house person finds that venus makes their space feel more pleasant and soothing which can create a feeling that they never want to leave their bubble. venus can be the one bringing gifts and trinkets to the other persons house and they can enjoy sleep overs or find peace living together. this brings the ideal roommate.

۶ৎ 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - the ascendant person reminds the 4th house person of their childhood for better or for worse but can create a feeling that the 4th house person is finally “safe” with the ascendant person. they bring a soothing aura and motherly energy to the 4th house person or the 4th house person can project this onto the ascendant person. the ascendant person can feel their impact on the 4th house person and in turn, becomes more open and accepting of the 4th house person’s true self. they see that little child in them and want to bring it out.

۶ৎ 𝐣𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞/𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - this creates a lot of generosity between two people. 8th house rules over other peoples money and depth and with jupiter here, the jupiter person wants to spoil the 8th house person. they also want to know everything about the jupiter person which may feel invasive but oddly comforting. the jupiter person wants to expand the 8th house persons money and assets. the 8th house person can feel generous as well especially with their emotional energy or support in return. similarly, jupiter in the 2nd house can create a lot of generosity with finances or food between two people. jupiter wants to give and provide for the 2nd house person and vice versa. jupiter can help boost the 2nd house persons self esteem as well.

۶ৎ 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - similar to jupiter in the 2nd house, venus here likes to spoil the other person. venus however, wants to share their pleasures with the 2nd house person whether that is food, love, comfort, money or even things they hold dear to them. venus in a way, will want to serve the 2nd house person or vice versa. venus person may continuously give compliments to the 2nd house person and want to be very romantic. venus also might feel like they are wrapped around the 2nd house persons finger because they enjoy their voice a lot and love to hear them speak or sing.

۶ৎ 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲-𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 (trine/sextile/conjunction) - this creates a smooth flow when flirting with another. this aspect makes the mercury person really love the way venus persons voice sounds, while the venus person really loves the way mercury speaks. this can be a very romantic aspect that creates a soft spot for each other and encourages flirting and an exchange of romantic letters/words.

۶ৎ 𝐬𝐮𝐧-𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 (trine/sextile/conjunction) - venus here enjoys and admires the sun persons personality and who they are. they find being around the sun person to be fun and attractive. the sun person on the other hand, loves the way venus admires them and in turn, praises venus which creates a loop of admiration and attraction between the two.

𑣲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 ᢉ𐭩

ᰔᩚ 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 (especially in leo) - this aspect in a composite chart creates a sense of fun, excitement and attraction between two people. being around the other feels flirty and builds confidence and these two people find that this aspect creates a sense of favoritism. they feel the other is their “favorite person” which makes the connection one where they always want to spend time together or just be around each other.

ᰔᩚ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 - this aspect in a composite chart helps both people feel that their needs are being met to the highest degree. they rarely have to discuss what they want; the other is just naturally exuding and doing it. they feel very safe with each other and feel as if they’re in their own world together. their needs align and the feminine person in this connection (or if they’re both feminine) feel very soft and in tune with their emotions when they are together.

ᰔᩚ 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲 - this is a common aspect but creates a sense of camaraderie and a soft spot between the two because they feel like good friends. communication flows and is easy to maintain. they are unlikely to run out of things to say to each other which just keeps the mental stimulation going and they can find themselves talking to each other for hours.

ᰔᩚ 𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐮𝐦 - in a composite chart this is can be very romantic and playful! both feel that their inner child has been unlocked and they find themselves wanting to go on dates or do things they loved in their childhood with their partner. it can feel very heartwarming and almost as if their honeymoon stage never ends. they’re that couple that has been together for 4 years and still acts like it’s the first day they met. this placement reminds me of six thirty by ariana grande

ᰔᩚ 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 - cancer in the composite chart in general creates a very warm and nurturing bond between the two but the cancer ascendant gives the vibe that the couple is already settled in. they each bring out a nurturing and soft side of themselves to the relationship and treat each other with kindness and delicacy. they’re able to sense each others moods and bring the other comfort when needed.

ᰔᩚ 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 - this is similar to the venus in 4th synastry overlay, except the possibility of being a golden roommate is much stronger. these two are able to create a pleasant and beautiful home together. if this is a family member, they might be considered your favorite family member among others or if this is a partnership they can feel really uplifting to be around. you instantly upgrade each others space.

ᰔᩚ 𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 (sun, mercury, saturn, venus, jupiter) - this creates a relationship focused on partnership and you can find that you two are mirrors for each other. you see the best and worst in the other and this person often feels like your “twin” or soulmate. you may go through the relationship feeling an “us against the world” type of vibe because that’s just how close you two are. this can lead to codependency a lot of the time which makes it feel like you are both wrapped around each other finger.

ᰔᩚ 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 - this is a very joyous aspect which makes spending time together feel larger than life. the laughter, jokes and pure good vibes happening in this connection make it so fun to be around. you feed off each others positive energy and this connection can really uplift your spirits when you’re feeling down.

ᰔᩚ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞 - this aspect makes it easy to intuitively sense the other persons emotions and inner dialogue. it’s easy to forgive your partner or whomever you have this aspect with. this aspect naturally brings out a telepathic energy between you two.

ᰔᩚ 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - this moon placement makes the relationship feel like you are best friends. it’s easy to talk about your feelings and express your deepest and most random thoughts to each other. you find that this connection makes you feel like you can vent anytime and that you can both be each others therapists. you each lend a shoulder and a listening ear and the mental stimulation almost never ends!

ᰔᩚ 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 - i have this with my partner it’s an aspect that creates not only a lot of generosity and forgiveness, but a lot of growth as well. this aspect can create a feeling that you two can grow together through the unconditional love you receive/give to each other. it’s a feeling that you want to give the other person the world and then some.

ᰔᩚ 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 - similar to moon trine neptune, this moon placement in the composite chart creates a very intuitive and telepathic bond. with this, you can vividly feel the other persons emotions even when you’re not near them. emotions can feel foggy at times but you are also able to grant the other person forgiveness even through hard times. they’re the person you feel safe being silent with because you rarely need words when you’re together; their energy still brings comfort and peace through your telepathic bond.

Sun in 4H Synastry

When sun meets the 4H in synastry, these two individuals will have a very emotionally intimate and deeply personal connection. Often, it is asked who feels the connection more, but I don't think that's much of a concern in this synastry, because both people are not only deeply impacted but also deeply changed. In this synastry, the sun person feels more purposeful in this connection, and the house person feels more personally affected. In this post, I will examine how both individuals experience this synastry, covering everything from the good, the murky, and the ugly! Let's jump in, starting with the sun person's perspective.

For The Sun Person

Starting from the very beginning, I typically find that these two people either know each other for a very long time.. like friends-to-lovers, or they somehow grew up together, parents were friends, and then they grew up as friends and fell in love, etc., or it feels like they have known each other for a long time. There is a strong sense of familiarity between them, and I find that the sun person specifically really wants to take care of the house person. They feel very protective over them even if they've just met, or if they've known them for a long time, they could have always felt this way. This is, of course, because the house person pulls out the sun person's vulnerability and indirectly makes them soft, which is why in this specific synastry, the sun person definitely wants to take on more responsibility. Now, depending on what else is going on in the chart, this could also show that the sun person might indirectly or unintentionally assume the house person's burdens and stressors.

I'd say that this is another synastry connection that really isn't casual even from the beginning and it's different because these are the people who like to bring their families together very early on, or family is a point of contention in the connection somehow, which causes serious reactions from the house person. So you get a lot of tension, especially when it comes to outsiders, because I typically find that the Sun comes from a family that could be polar opposite of the house person. Regardless, these two aren't only super serious pretty early on, but they spend A LOT of time together! They could really enjoy being in each other's company; they can enjoy being couch potatoes, or going on a little getaway trip together and escaping the world together. In a way, it is very cute because I feel like, out of all of the synastry, 4H Sun Synastry feels the most comfortable with one another, and feels deeply accepted and seen by each other. So naturally, the same person wants to be around the house person way more than not!

The Sun person might also like directly impact how the house person feels around them. For instance, if the house person is having a hard time, they could feel very appreciated and loved by the sun person very easily. They could essentially get out of the negative mood they were in very quickly. The sun person could also sometimes feel emotionally responsible for the house person for this reason, so it really is like a double-edged sword.

In this dynamic, it is pretty natural and kind of expected for the sun person to generally take on the more ‘masculine’ role. And if they are not masculine or do not identify as such, it's kind of expected for the sun person to be the one to essentially take care of things or handle business or make decisions in the dynamic. This could be because the sun person actually wants to be the one in charge, but it's also be that the house person kind of relies on the sun person to get things done. There could be some codependency, and I have found that it's usually the house person being codependent on the sun person; however, this could be flipped if that applies.

Either way, I do feel like the sun person carries the power in the dynamic, or it could definitely feel that way, and that's because the house person tends to put them on a pedestal. The sun person will recognize that the house person trusts them right away. They will see how the house person puts a lot of faith in them, relies on them, sees them as a protector, etc and the sun person will either love to fulfill that role or could build up resentment over time because sometimes, the sun person feels like they don't have it all together and they need the house person to step up.

The sun person can be very vulnerable to the house person because in a way, they never really let somebody else get as close to them as the house person gets. Overall, the sun wants to take care of the house person because they feel a sense of familiarity, deep love, and even a soul bond with the house person. But I do think it is worth it for the sun person to remember that mutual effort is also important. Sometimes it could feel like the sun attributes more to family dynamics, quality time, comfort, etc., than the house person.

I would be wary of feelings of emotional debt with one another. What I mean by this is the sun person could definitely feel indebted to the house person because maybe the house person was there for them during a really difficult transition in their life or during a major loss. I've seen this dynamic play out where two people stay in a relationship that's not working for longer than they should, because the foundation started in trauma, tragedy, etc, and the two people trauma-bonded together. This couple could be very loyal, but I do think that loyalty has an expiration date if there's a lot of pain and trouble in the relationship.

What I typically find is that the sun person can be burnt out from the connection very quickly but not always know how to express that to the house person because of how long the dynamic has been, where the sun person really doesn't have any burdens to bear, but the house person does. Now obviously this will not apply to everybody with this synastry, but sometimes the Sun person might feel like the house person is reacting poorly to their needs or maybe shocked that they have certain needs because of the dynamic I mentioned. Or sometimes the sun person just doesn't know how to emotionally express themselves due to their own need to show up as the one who has it together, the strong one, the one who “wears the pants” in the dynamic, so to speak. In some ways, resentment could build because the sun person doesn't know how to break that barrier and just tell their partner what they're thinking or feeling.

Lastly, I just want to reinforce this idea that if there is not an equal balance, or at the very least, if the sun person feels like the house person is not emotionally nourishing them the same way or providing for them the same way, things can turn toxic really quickly. The trouble with this synastry is that the same sense of familiarity that attracted these two people tends to be very similar to family structures or maybe even toxic family structures that both people are familiar with from their own childhoods. So, for instance, if the Sun person is very used to a toxic household where people are fighting and screaming at each other and have general discourse more than love, then these two people can certainly mirror that energy in their own relationship or perhaps the Sun person does this subconsciously. It's because even if it's toxic, it provides a sense of comfort and predictability. Both people should really be careful staying in a situation like this for that reason, but definitely the sun because the Sun is searching to complete something in their life regarding their family and their lineage, and they project that onto the house person. And as a side note, obviously this is very toxic, but I've had clients who have literally claimed to be with their twin flame who have had so many horrible experiences together and have done horrible things to each other that have shared this overlay. It's just a simple observation that I've noticed in my studies. Does not necessarily mean that this is how this will always play out.

For the house person

The house person immediately feels an attraction towards the sun person because they feel familiar to them in a way that they often can't explain, or the sun person reminds them of the kind of person that they would like to have a deeply intimate connection with. The house person could even experience deja vu or feel like they've known the sun person before but can't place their finger on how! Nonetheless, for the house person, they often feel very emotionally exposed around the Sun person.

The sun person can definitely see past the public mask that the house person puts on, and they sort of slowly break down their hard exterior and get to the root of everything that the house person is trying to keep together or bury. Out of the two I definitely feel like the house person has a harder grip on their thoughts and feelings surrounding family, home life, childhood, their relationship with their mother, issues with their father, etc. The house person definitely tries to come off as the one who might have been extremely afflicted by these things in life, but ultimately doesn't let that affect how they are representing themselves out into the world.

The house person tends to receive a lot of attention from the Sun person and this attention is typically pretty new for them, so it does feel very exciting and promising, but over time it could definitely feel a little invasive. This is because the house person will feel like the Sun is essentially trying to push them or influence them into a certain direction. Imagine someone insistently barges into your home, rearranges your furniture, takes all of your photos off the walls or replaces them with other things, and rearranges the feng shui of the entire place. It can totally be daunting for the house person when the sun person pretty much not only provides them with emotional support, but then also tries to pick apart or change up their routine and their domestic lifestyle. Now this isn't always a bad thing; I find that often the sun person is doing these things to help better the house person's perspective on life or situations. But sometimes, it comes off as very overbearing and something that the house person is not always ready for.

Nonetheless, the house person feels very emotionally safe with the sun person and maybe even younger or more alive when they are together. This is because the sun really brings them a level of comfort that's not only familiar but also gives them the feeling that it's okay to take breaks and have a little fun. This synastry can definitely be fun because both people could literally find ways to have a good time by doing nothing and all. Oftentimes, this couple definitely enjoys being couch potatoes and watching/binging their favorite Netflix shows. But this feeling of comfort is very new for the house person, so again there will be a level of wanting more of that emotional security but also a level of fear because they're being so emotionally vulnerable with the sun person.

I feel like in this specific synastry, both parties really want the same thing but are sort of going about it in opposite ways. I would be wary of projection, as it seems like both people can project their desires of intimacy, family life, and wholeness onto each other, but in ways that feel insecure, not reassuring, or not positive. So, for example, the house person might crave the sun person's energy and might want them around and might want to get more serious with them, but when there are spats and issues, the house person could definitely emotionally withdraw and become very cold with the sun person. Suddenly, all of those desires of closeness go out the window because there's an issue.

For the Sun person, I feel like they could definitely overperform, or I guess do too much to maintain this image of strength and authority and ultimately to keep the peace in the relationship even if they feel like things are rocky or aren't necessarily fair. If anything, it seems like the sun person wants to be vulnerable, maybe wants to have a little emotional leg room to have a moment to be the one in need or in crisis. However, the issue was that the sun person could also be very prideful and come off like they don't need the house person. They would rather assume responsibility or feel they are strong enough to carry the weight of the relationship, rather than just approaching the house person out their concerns.

The Bad

Now, we must talk about the inevitable. The bad. Now I don't want to fear-monger, and I feel like I always have to preface that, but it's important to know that there's not a single synastry pairing that doesn't have toxic aspects, just like there's not one that could be totally healthy and perfect. There's a lot of gray area in life, including our relationships, so let's talk about how this synastry can actually be pretty detrimental to both people. The first thing that I think is what's most obvious is that these two can have a really hard time with projecting, specifically projecting failure and disappointment on one another. It really doesn't matter who is doing this because both people tend to do this at some point in the relationship. But, if one person feels unhappy with how things are going or it feels like they're giving more than they are receiving, they can become very passive-aggressive and project these negative feelings instead of just expressing them healthily. This could be through making passive-aggressive comments about not sharing the responsibility around the home, making sarcastic jokes about something that you once loved about the person, just generally creating tension in the space, etc. On a minuscule level, these two people definitely have an issue with pettiness and passive aggression rather than full-on aggression and anger.

I've also seen this play out where unhealed people come together, sort of looking for healing and putting all of that pressure on the other person, even if they aren't responsible for causing the pain in the first place. This is definitely projecting mommy issues or daddy issues onto your partner and hoping that they will somehow fix them? Both people are guilty of this at some point in the relationship if things aren't going great. But that could build a lot of pressure between both people; both people might feel like they have to perform in order to not be like their partner's parental figure, which is really odd of an expectation, but that's just what happens. If you have mommy or daddy issues, it's obviously always important to work on them if you ever want to have a healthy relationship. But mommy/daddy issues are like a fly to a Venus flytrap. I'm not saying that you can't have a successful relationship if you do struggle with these things, but I do feel that you will have a more likely possibility of taking those hurt feelings out on somebody innocent and genuinely trying to be there for you.

Now, of course, there's also the other side of things, where you do just end up being with somebody who is abusive, or like the authority or parental figure in your life that hurt you in some way. You could end up with a partner who is emotionally neglectful or distant or avoidant, and that reminds you of your father or your mother; you see what I'm saying. The issue, if it wasn't obvious enough, is that you can get stuck into a cycle with these people. Because you've built foundations with them (even on Rocky ground) you might prefer to stay in that situation, rather than seeing what else is out there, because you feel like the time you put into the relationship outweighs the desire for something different. Don't get stuck in a toxic relationship just because you've invested a lot of emotional time and energy into it. In a very harsh manifestation and not the likely one, I do see people even staying in unhappy marriages for decades for this reason. Family, like I mentioned, is a major theme here, but it's not always a good thing. Sometimes people stay in situations they should in for the sake of family. I also just think that an unbalanced level of give and take can cause a lot of resentment within these two people, and it could cause them to project those dissatisfactory feelings instead of just the two of them talking them out and figuring things out together. This is definitely like a pride / ego thing, but it creates a lot of unnecessary tension.

The Good

In a positive manifestation, these two almost always have a family together. Obviously, it's not going to be a perfect pattern, but it is a common one. If you don't have children with them, you might have lots of pets together, or you could flip homes together, etc. I feel that the home, domestic life/living, and family life will play a very major role for this relationship. In the best way, this couple can create the kind of life that the two of them never had, with one another. I've seen this in several charts of two people who have had childhood trauma that have come together and healed, and live a seemingly healthy life together. This synastry is definitely very healing when it is good, and both people love and respect each other and feel like they know each other better than anyone else in the world. Like I mentioned, the fun is kind of endless. They could read them an encyclopedia together and still have fun. They share inside jokes, they spend time cooking together, playing games, joking around, watching movies, etc. They are very like-minded as a couple, and this is the kind of couple that definitely sets goals for the future, goals for the family, etc. I have noticed that family might be either very important or a big point of contention, but in a good and healthy connection with this synastry, the couple comes together and decides what is best for the relationship over what is best for the family ultimately. On that subject, the two people teach each other a lot about boundaries and about growth and change. One person might have had very poor boundaries with their family at the beginning of the relationship, and the other person helps them establish those boundaries. Emotional maturity is very big with this kind of synastry, so if two people aren't very emotionally mature when they get together, they will definitely get to that point at some stage in their relationship.

What I personally love about this synastry is that it creates the kind of bond that doesn't require a lot of excitement, and I'm not saying that the relationship isn't exciting, but these two people don't require dramatics to enjoy each other. They don't require chaos or toxicity or anything like that just to feel like the connection is alive. I've noticed in very healthy relationships with this synastry, two people don't like fighting, actually. If there are arguments, they work towards solutions, or they give each other space so that it doesn't escalate. I feel like this is a great pairing for two people who are very good communicators.

8th house synastry has always felt like standing too close to a fire you didn’t mean to build, yet somehow can’t step away from.

It is made of contradictions that don’t cancel each other out, but instead coexist, burning side by side.

The highs arrive first. They always do. They arrive in quiet realizations that escape your mouth before your mind can stop them, you say to yourself, "I am in love" and it feels obvious, it feels inevitable. Their presence rearranges your internal landscape. You find yourself placing them above everything else without hesitation. You show them loyalty not because they asked for it, but because the idea of them doubting you feels unbearable.

And then, as you two go your separate ways, the lows arrive just as suddenly as the highs once did.

Not gently, but like a door closing in another room, one you didn’t even realize was still open until the silence began to echo.

You become numb. Careless. Irritable at things that are not really the problem. You pull away from conversation, not because you don’t care, but because you can’t seem to care about anything at all. Not like before. Not in color.

Their presence had ignited something chemical, something alive, a rush of warmth and light that made everything else feel meaningful by proximity. And now, without it, the world returns in grayscale.

So nothing else quite reaches you, and nothing else stays.

Days pass and then inevitably so, you see them again.

But this time one part of you acts out of fear. They walk into the room, and you tell yourself "I don't want to burden them" and in trying to minimize the emotional charge and tension, you act distant, you make an effort to make them think you don't need them, not because it's true, but because you're scared of showing them how much you do care for them, and so fear speaks before truth. 

You oscillate, you go back and forth, showing intense loyalty to avoidance. 

Eye contact becomes language. Across crowded rooms, your eyes search for them before you even realize you’re looking. And when you find them, there is that moment — that quiet, overwhelming realization of finally being seen, of being accepted without effort, and it fills you completely. You can’t help but smile when they are near. Your eyes speak the million words your voice is too afraid to carry, and the questions you buried deep within yourself dissolve in their presence. Nothing needs to be asked. Nothing needs to be explained.

You know you like them.

You know you want them.

You know that you can let your walls fall down with them.

And it is the absence of questioning that changes everything. In not questioning, something steadies inside you. Something roots itself. It becomes an anchor, it feels unfamiliar, but undeniable.

A kind of self-reassurance you have never known before.

And because it feels like safety, you become afraid of losing the part of yourself that only exists when their eyes meets yours.

On days where expectations are not met, the absence of their attention buries you like an avalanche; and this pit in your stomach consumes you completely.

So you become aware of everyone else in proximity to them. You notice their laughter with others. You feel jealousy coil quietly in your chest. You compare the way you feel when they stand next to you — the warmth, the expansion — to the emptiness you feel when someone else stands there instead.

There is no comparison. There never is.

The highs can last for days. So can the lows.

And somehow, even in the uncertainty, the possibility of loving them takes precedence over everything else. You want them to know. You need them to know.

And sometimes, in a room full of people, you can’t help but tell them with your eyes alone.

"I want you."

But then, after time, the 12th house arrives like fog over still water.

It doesn’t extinguish the fire. It obscures it.

Not all at once. Not enough to alarm you. Just enough to blur the edges of something that once felt unmistakably clear.

What was once instinct becomes hesitation.

You begin to question things you never questioned before. You wonder if you mean anything to them, if they dream of you too, if they want you as much as you want them. The spaces between your interactions grow longer, heavier, filled with uncertainty you can’t ignore.

Doubt is quiet, but invasive.

You wonder if you imagined it. If maybe you projected depth onto something that was never as deep for them. The certainty you once carried so effortlessly now feels fragile in your hands. Now there is confusion. Hesitation. Fear living in the spaces between what is said and what is felt. Insecurities embed themselves quietly, like roots beneath the surface. Fear begins to disguise itself as intuition.

You tell yourself to be careful. Not to assume. Not to lean too much into something that has never been spoken aloud. And without realizing it, you begin to withhold parts of yourself that once came naturally. The fog doesn’t destroy the connection, it makes you unsure of where you stand and in that uncertainty, you stop moving toward them.

The intensity that once felt undeniable begins to feel questionable.

And now fear becomes the author of your behavior.

So one of you steps back.

Not because the feeling is gone, but because the uncertainty has become louder than the unexplainable knowing you feel when their eyes meet yours. And the other, sensing the shift without words, steps back twice as far. Neither of you asks why. Neither of you says what is happening. Silence becomes the loudest thing between you. And slowly, you both begin to rewrite the story to protect yourselves.

"They didn’t like me."

"They never did."

They walk into the room, and your body reacts before your mind can intervene. Your chest tightens. Your awareness sharpens. Every part of you turns toward them in quiet recognition.

But instead of moving closer, you retreat inward.

A thought appears, curious but commanding:

"Did they ever like me? Was this all in my head?"

You convince yourself your feelings are too much. Too heavy. Too visible. To feel this much with no foundation scares you, it scares you because you can't make sense of it. You can't understand why the tension rises when they are in the room, and you fear that if they truly saw the depth of it, they might feel trapped, obligated and overwhelmed.

So you do the only thing fear knows how to do.

You conceal.

You soften your gaze when you want to hold it. You speak to others with rehearsed ease, careful to construct the image of someone whole and unaffected.

Someone who does not need.

Especially not them.

You make sure they see this version of you.

Not because it’s true.

But because it feels safer than being known.

There is a particular pain in pretending you don’t care while caring more than you ever have. It is a quiet self-betrayal. You split yourself in two: the one who feels, and the one who performs.

And sometimes, in protecting yourself from rejection, you create the very distance you were afraid of.

They notice. Of course they notice.

They see your distance and interpret it as disinterest. They see your independence and assume they were never necessary to you. Your silence becomes their answer.

So they withdraw too.

And now, both of you stand on opposite sides of a divide neither of you wanted, each believing you are respecting the other’s absence. Both of you acting out of fear.

Fear spoke first.

And truth becomes something buried, not something named, it becomes something you only feel, but no longer trust.

Dismissiveness is mirrored. Distance is mirrored. Indifference is performed so convincingly it begins to feel real. A self-sabotaging prophecy written by two people too afraid to ask for truth.

The anxious one feels it first — the severance. Not physically, but energetically. Like a cord that once hummed with life has gone still. They feel the block. They feel something shift into something unreachable.

They replay every moment. Every glance. Every silence. They wonder if it meant anything. If they meant anything.

The avoidant one chooses the opposite survival.

They move on. Or try to. They date people who do not stir them. They choose eyes that do not see too deeply. They choose connections that ask nothing of them.

Because emotion means confusion.

And confusion means rejection.

So they convince themselves there was never anything there to begin with.

One holds onto memory.

One suppresses what was felt.

Both feel the absence. And then, time passes. Lives unfold.

Until one day, inevitably, they find themselves in the same room again.

And before either of them can stop it, their eyes meet. And the fire, which neither of them ever truly extinguished, begins to burn again.

Book a synastry reading with me or purchase my karmic astrology ebook that is curated towards 8th and 12th house synastry: https://myunsaidthoughts.gumroad.com

It’s like one day you meet the person and the next, they become a constant in your life. You go from strangers to family and the shift seems to happen out of nowhere.

The feeling reminds me of how my family from down south came up north to visit us last summer. One of them i was meeting for the first time. She was my age and she came with a friend(who i coincidentally have 4H synastry with), so we hung out the whole time and it was like i knew them my whole life. I was sad af when they had to go home😂

💓synastry through the houses 💓:

*do not plagiarize my writing or repost on other forms of social media under any circumstances.*

first house synastry: “woah, who is that?” energy the first time you lay eyes on each other,  “look at her, I would die for her,” being annoyed with each other one second and being lovey-dovey the next, protecting each other with no hesitation, physical attraction and tension, “you’ll never find anyone like me” energy, encouraging each other to be the most authentic versions of yourselves, can be so obvious you like each other “what? Do I like him? hell no?” (such a lie hehe), this synastry can also cause a lot of intense attraction where you feel like you just HAVE to see them or be with them, catching feelings fast after meeting each other, both of u could be different from who you have previously liked or been with yet being with each other makes so much sense, the person you always will have a crush on, could daydream about each other before even knowing each other that well haha, “you make me feel alive” energy 

second house synastry:  deeply appreciating each other, admiring each others values or beliefs, seeing something you desire in each other, something you wish you had too,going out to eat at expensive restaurants, not wanting to share each other, being possessive of each other, giving each other massages, stealing each others clothes, “make me” energy haha, spoiling each other, being turned on by their voice, not being stingy with each other, “no, it’s okay I got it” energy, every little touch feels so good, the brush of your lips together or cuddling, intimate eye contact, admiring the way they carry themselves or assert themselves, feeling like you both bless each other, “I want to give you the world” energy, standing up for each other or teaching each other how to be more confident, feeling so safe around each other, “you’re the best thing I ever had..” 

third house synastry: “I should probably go to sleep but I like talking to you more,” texting the whole day, being weird as f*ck around each other haha, having huge boosts of energy around each other where you both cant stop talking, always having each others backs, similar interests, “what?! you like that show too?!” energy, so many random and funny inside jokes, finishing each others sentences, making the same facial expressions,  always driving together or being in the car together, being extremely attracted to each others mental intelligence, meeting through siblings or common friends or u both just happened to be in the same vicinity for a while and finally ran into each other, *sending each other tik toks*, boosting each others self confidence and encouraging each other unconditionally, randomly having super deep talks, appreciating each other, “thank you for listening...”

 fourth house synastry: “how did you so easily become such a big part of my life?” energy, “no one can ever compare to you,” feeling at home with each other, preferring to cuddle at home together over a night out, helping each other heal through wounds from childhood, immediately being comfy in each others presence, easily making yourself at home when you’re with them, this is the synastry of a best-friend that swings your fridge door open like “what do you have to eat in here” haha there is a sweet sense of familiarity and acceptance, “I know you better than you know yourself” energy, becoming like family to each other, having it super bad when you have a crush on each other, always craving each others physicals presence, heart beating fast at the simplest touch, having a similar childhood and understanding the toxic things that were experienced or just growing up together in general (knowing each other since childhood), having such a huge soft spot for each other, blushing at the mention of each others names, “you are my soulmate” energy 

fifth house synastry: always laughing or making jokes together, could be the couple or pair that likes to roast people together haha, being very physical both s*xually or just in general (hugging, pushing each other when joking around etc),  being competitive with each other or playing games together, one of you could really push the other out of their comfort zone, feeling like the most attractive thing in the world after being complimented by them or when you compliment each other, feeling butterflies around each other, a childish energy that could make you feel like giggling or like it was when you had a school crush in elementary school haha, “ugh, you’re so annoying shutup” bUT SMILING THE WHOLE TIME, can worship each other when in love, easily being able to see yourselves having children together, bringing each others creative sides out, a sense of innocence that you cannot really describe, shameless flirting, feeling so excited when you get to see each other, taking pictures of each other “you’re so beautiful, stay right there” energy

sixth house synastry: “can you zip my dress up for me?” energy, talking to each other and seeing each other naturally becomes routine, this is the synastry where you do sweet, little things for each other, “this was the last one and I got it for you” energy, working out together or helping each other in regards to incorporating positive habits or changes in health, “I love your body”, napping together, helping the other take their shoes off, tucking each other in or fixing each others hair/ clothes, meeting at work or when you were just going about your day, bringing each other lunch at work or making it for each other, very underrated synastry considering the physical attraction, never getting bored of each other, consistent acts of service, learning each others love language, “you got me flowers?” energy, “do you want to run errands with me” energy, can easily become a power couple, knowing the little cute and mundane things about each other, “oh they don’t like that flavor” energy, helping each other when one of is sick or feeling down, “I’ll take care of you” energy except they don’t even have to say it, they just do it   

seventh house synastry: “you are everything I’ve dreamed of” energy, feeling like you both check off so many boxes in qualities you want in a partner, wanting to marry each other, making long terms plans with each other, thinking about ways to succeed or make money together, “we should start a business” energy, working very well together, “what would I do without you?” always being associated with each other to the point where people ask you how the other is doing when you’re seen alone, being each others other half, feeling lost without the other, complimenting each other well, “we look so f*cking good together,” being each others favorite person, feeling a sense of harmony and balance when with each other, “I feel like I can get through anything with you by my side” energy, having enjoyable conversations together, boosting each others egos 

eighth house synastry: underlying s*xual tension, can help each other through the most traumatic life experiences, its hard to stay away and it hurts to leave each other, finding a sense of peace in each others arms, helping each other financially, can call each other out on each others bs real quick, the lines between love and hate blurring, can be amazing when both are willing to work together but if not then it can unleash envious emotions, just like the 12h there is this energy of being able to read each others mind and seeing through lies, getting each others name tatted energy haha, “till death do us part” energy, getting triggered by the smallest things when around each other, can be overwhelming unless you’re already use to scorpio/ pluto energy or have a lot of it in your chart, seeing each other at rock bottom and being able to pick each other up, cant stop looking at each other, seeing every part of each other on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level, meeting in an intense situation, meeting each other around the time someone near you passed away, fantasizing about having s*x with each other, “this hurts but it feels so good” energy    

ninth house synastry: having deep philosophical talks together, meeting during college, when traveling abroad, or a religious or cultural setting, “let me do a reading on u” energy haha, could show long distance relationships, “let’s travel the world together” energy, being from different cultures or religions, feeling like a whole new person after this friendship or relationship, “we are meant to be” energy, having deeply spiritual experiences together, “you make me feel like nothing is impossible” energy, a teacher-student energy that alternates between both of you, opening each others eyes to different viewpoints “oh, I never thought about it like that,” having similar life values and sense of humor, going on adventures together, picking up on each others mannerisms or words you use, visiting new places together, being inspired by each other, encouraging each other to always think bigger, “I believe in you” energy  

tenth house synastry: “that’s my baby!” being each other’s biggest cheerleaders/ motivators, seeing the potential in each other, being at each other’s sides through successful moments (graduations, job promotions etc), helping each other in regards to family issues or altering each others mindsets in regards to your values and family traditions, both of you sacrificing things so the other person can succeed or help each other with your goals, “no, I want to help this is important to you so its important to me” energy, one of you looking at the other as a leader, one of you being more dominant than the other, going to each other for advice on important matters first before going to anybody else, finding each other very ambitious and attractive, having a reputation as a couple, people seeing you as a pair, meeting through work or during a time in your life in which you were starting a new chapter in regards to career success, both telling each other about your goals and plans, this is the couple or friendship that would do well making vision boards together 

eleventh house synastry: “no matter what, I’ll always be by your side” this is the energy of friends to lovers, or between people that have been friends for a very long time, communication is effortless, both of you could seem similar like you fall in the same categories in regards your surroundings or values, could have grown up together, elevating and motivating each other, “f*ck them if they dont appreciate you” speeches given to each other, a lot of inside jokes, “wyd? im going to go pick you up” energy, both can introduce the other to new people or help them network/ find new opportunities, making eye contact in a crowded room and being able to communicate with each other, you both can ground each other when one is overwhelmed, “you make me feel safe” energy, being able to be the most authentic/ goofy sides of yourself with the other person and knowing that they will not judge you 

twelfth house synastry: “you were in my dream last night.” somehow sharing the deepest secrets with each other or confessing things you normally wouldn’t tell other people, seeing each other at your “worst,” seeing each other cry, able to comfort each other without words, both of you being able to tell when something is wrong with the other even when you hide it, being extremely sensitive to each other’s words, being able to tell when the other is hiding something or lying, being able to say exactly the right thing when the other is upset, the silence becoming consuming when you aren’t on good terms and the silence being peaceful when you are, seeing the darkest parts of yourselves in the other, this is the love where one misses the others stare, a love that transcends physical boundaries, a spiritual connection, “all I think about is you” energy, one of kind energy that can either transform or destroy

8th house/Pluto synastry — especially when you carry deep wounds around self-worth, love, value, and abandonment — can feel very similar to the peace people describe during near-death experiences, and that's not a coincidence.

When I hear stories about their near death experiences, they always mention a sense of pure bliss, serenity, comfort, and calm that is surrounding them. It's as if any and all wounds within dissipates and all that is left is love and fulfillment. The 8th house carries themes of change, ego death, transformation, and everything that comes with surrender and release.

So when you form an 8th house connection with someone and carry those wounds, it’s as if this person lifts you into a frequency where all that internal pain vanishes — just like what happens when you actually pass on from this physical earth.

When someone’s Pluto touches your personal planets or activates your 8th house, the feeling isn’t just healing — it’s otherworldly. There's suddenly no more abandonment wounds, no more aching past; the deeper your wound, the more powerful their presence will feel.

8th house/Pluto synastry mirrors this freeing frequency, and it's the one your soul knows intimately, the one your consciousness is most familiar with and that's why this person will feel like "home."

Imagine experiencing even a glimpse of that kind of peace here, on this chaotic planet we call Earth — and then trying to let it go? That’s why it can be so hard to let go of this person, that's why your soul looks for them when everything else within you says you shouldn't.

it’s so hard to detach from this kind of bond. The dilemma of wishing to letting go is constant, the deeper the desire for love the more conflicted your soul and mind will feel.

Being with them feels like all the pain inside you finally quiets. It’s no coincidence that the one person who unlocks this part of you also holds the key to releasing all the human hurt you carry. This is why this house holds so much karma—they help you confront the inner wounds this physical world has caused. And so, saying goodbye to them means letting go of the version of yourself you always wished you could be—the version you held onto before the world convinced you that you weren’t enough.

Book a synastry reading with me or purchase my karmic astrology ebook that is curated towards 8th and 12th house synastry: https://myunsaidthoughts.gumroad.com