It had been three months since The Incident, when Kappy mistakenly assumed you and William were dating. Willy was your best friend, you had great benefits with that friendship, yeah, but it was different now. Now you didn’t know what you wanted, what he wanted, and all the things you’d loved about being with him, the low pressure relaxation with someone you could talk to anything with, it was gone. You were a full-time student. He was a full-time hockey player. The both of you were too busy for pressure.

So you eased off.

You kind of hated yourself for the way you went about it.

You didn’t ghost him exactly, but it was definitely ghost-adjacent.

You figured you could blame it on essays due, then exams, then his playoffs, but those were all done a month ago and still, your answers were so infrequent that he seemed to have stopped trying.

You told yourself it was better that way, that this was best for both of you, but some nights, when you were feeling particularly vulnerable and honest with yourself, you could admit how much you regretted it. There was a big, blond, floppy-haired hockey player-sized hole in your chest.

You missed him.

Maybe it was too late, now. It probably was.

The universe, it seemed, had other ideas.

---

You were only taking one summer class and, as busy as it kept you, you still had a modicum of free time. The weather had been beautiful lately, and you kept seeing your friends send snaps of this beautiful bar with outdoor seating and great-looking tacos. It was a late afternoon on a Thursday. They shouldn’t be too busy, you figured. So you put on a flowy, comfortable yellow sundress, a floppy hat and sunglasses, and decided to treat yourself in this warm weather.

You were glad to see your prediction was true. The restaurant wasn’t too busy, with quite a few of their outdoor tables still available. You were seated quickly, ordered a margarita on the rocks, and just basked in the beautiful day.

Your basking lasted all of fifteen minutes before there was a large shadow blocking your view. You blinked up at some smarmy-looking dude, smirking down at you. You used your menu to cover your cleavage and scowled up at him.

“Can I help you?”

“Sorry to bother you,” the guy said looking absolutely not sorry at all. “Seems I’m looking for a place to sit here. It’s filling up fast. You mind if I keep you company?”

You looked around at the obviously empty tables around you, maybe only a third of them occupied, then blinked back up at him.

“I do mind, actually,” you said calmly, though you internally started to panic. What if he didn’t take no for an answer. “I’m waiting on someone.”

You pulled out your phone, trying to text your friend Winslow. She lived nearby. You sent your location to her, followed by an ‘SOS creepy dude. Rescue me and I buy dinner’.

The guy scowled down at you, obviously wanting to say more, but the waitress came over, clearly sensing an issue and put herself between you and the creep. You gave her a relieved smile.

“Hey,” you said to her, before the guy could speak up. “This guy was looking for a table. And can I get an extra menu for when my friend gets here?”

The waitress nodded, winking before she grabbed another menu for you, then she turned to the guy. “Come on, sir. We just cleared a booth inside for you,”

Your shoulders relaxed as the waitress led him away. Twenty minutes later, you spotted him at the bar, trying to make eye contact with you as the waitress brought a refill on your drink. You opened your phone to see if Winslow texted you back and your heart fell into your stomach at your notifications.

You clicked through, hoping it was a mistake.

You had accidentally texted William instead.

And his response came not even a minute after you sent your message. “On my way.”

He didn’t really live close by, and you started to text him back, telling him that he really didn’t need to, when you spotted him, rushing over to you, breathing heavy like he’d been running.

“Are you ok?” he asked immediately, eyes wide and concerned and you sighed, pushing out the seat across from you for him.

The waitress stuck her head outside and tilted her head at you, obviously concerned again, but you gave her a reassuring smile. Willy wouldn’t be a creep. And you were the idiot for texting the wrong person.

“You didn’t have to come. I meant to- I meant to text Wins. She lives like a block away.”

Willy’s face fell. “Shit. I can-”

You shook your head, remembering the guy at the bar, and then, with a little more sadness, the way you’d been treating Willy the last few months.

“No,” you sighed. “Stay.”

---

Five minutes later, Willy had a matching margarita and the awkward silence had grown so deep that you were shifting in your seat at the discomfort of it all.

He hadn’t looked at you since he arrived.

You felt horrible.

You blinked, taking a deep breath. You knew you owed him an apology at least. And probably an explanation. And then you both could move on or whatever you both wanted to do.

“I’m sorry,” you finally said, pushing your margarita away a little. The waitress arrived with your food and he ordered his, and you let that ‘sorry’ hang between you in the meanwhile.

As soon as the waitress walked away, Willy looked at you. Properly looked. And you could read the sadness there so well it was like you hadn’t spent months avoiding him. You still knew him.

You still missed him.

“For what?” he croaked, not bothering to hide the bitter bite to his words.

You winced. You deserved that. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“Ghosting me,” he corrected.

You nodded, allowing him that. “It’s not an excuse,” you said quietly. “But I was scared.”

William put his drink down, blinking at you in shock. Like that wasn’t what he expected you to say. “Scared?”

You nodded, a lump in your throat.

“Why?” he continued. “What did I do? Like… fuck. I don’t want to bother you or be creepy or unwanted or whatever, but I just want to know what I did, y/n.”

Sighing, you fiddled with your sunglasses, trying to find something to do with your hands. “I just… That day. With the smoothies.”

He nodded, thick arms crossed over his chest. He leaned back in his chair, taking you in with an obviously forced calm.

“Kappy thought we were like… together,” you said quietly.

Willy sighed. “And rather than talk it through with me, you decided to run?”

You put the sunglasses down, rubbing your temples as you nodded. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “I freaked out. I- I liked what we had. You’re busy and I’m busy and what we had was good and it wasn’t stressful and there wasn’t any pressure and I was happy and then all of a sudden there was all this pressure.”

“And you weren’t happy,” William filled in, voice still hard.

“I was scared, William,” you shot back. “I was scared because there was suddenly too much pressure and expectations and it stopped feeling like just me and my best friend. There was all this subtext and just-”

“Pressure,” he finished.

You nodded sadly, swallowing around the lump in your throat.

“So you figured, you could just burn it all down, then, right? Just… screw it up ahead of time before it had a chance to get screwed up?”

“Listen,” you said, a little tired of being made to feel small. You already were angry at yourself for this. You already were sad about this. Him making it worse when you just needed to explain didn’t help. “I’m trying to explain. If you want to berate me afterwards, and make me feel shittier than I already do, go ahead, but let me finish first for fuck’s sake.”

Willy nodded. “Yeah. Sorry,” he said quietly, but the corner of his mouth twitched. Like he was going to smile.

“Is something funny?” You scowled at him, grabbing for your margarita.

He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, then sighing. His smile was soft, fond. And it ate at your heart. “It’s just… that was you again. That was- I missed that.”

“Me yelling at you?” you raised an eyebrow.

Willy shrugged. “You just… getting all worked up about something. You’re always passionate about something and I just- I missed that…”

Your shoulders slumped. “I missed you.”

Your quiet admission seemed to stop him for a second, then he reached out and put his hand over yours. You were glad he didn’t question it, try and make you feel worse, like you didn’t miss him. Because you know you fucked up. And you know you missed him.

“Can we just-” you continued, flipping your hand over under his so you could link your fingers with his loosely. “Can we start over? Be like we were before?”

William looked at you, his eyes wide and earnest.

“No.”

You stilled, feeling your body tense up again, but he ran his thumb over the back of your hand once and you tried to relax into the familiar, and very much missed, feeling.

“No?” you repeated back, confused.

“No,” he said again. “I’m gonna… Ok, all cards on the table here, y/n. I wanted that. What Kappy thought? I wanted that. A lot. I still… uh… I still do.”

Your shoulders tensed and you could feel all those pressures start to sink you again, but he kept hold of your hand and squeezed, before continuing.

“I just… I know you said you don’t want the pressure, but why can’t we be in a relationship and still be us?” he asked simply. “Why can’t we do the same thing as before, just with a different name. We were good together, y/n. Like a team. You were happy and I was happy. Why would we change that? We just call it what it is. Because I don’t love you any less as friends than I do right now or if we were together. I still love you the same. I’m still the same me. If you weren’t the same you, I wouldn’t want this.”

You blinked a few seconds, and you could see exactly when the hope started to drain from his eyes.

“Please,” he said quietly “Did that make sense?”

Slowly, you nodded. You hadn’t thought of it like that before. You thought, dating, the title, meant that you’d have to put your school on a lower priority, that he’d be too busy with hockey. “We wouldn’t have to change?” you repeated. “Because I can’t- I have school and you have hockey and we’re both so busy and-”

“No change,” he assured you, squeezing your hand again. “Just you and me. I trust you. I hope you could trust me. I don’t need hours long conversations every night. I’m cool to just text you stupid memes and talk when we both have the time, around my hockey and your school.”

“And you wouldn’t… like… I don’t know… resent that, or whatever?” You were putting your insecurities right out there for him. You owed him that much. And what he was saying… if he meant it… well it didn’t sound like the worst idea.

His face went all soft and he gave you that smile that made his eyes go all crinkly in the corners and you felt a warmth settle through you. “The only thing I’d resent,” he said quietly. “Is if you felt like I forced you to put your life on hold. I knew your priorities going into this. I knew your schedule and all the shit going on in your life when I fell in love with you.”

Love. Wow. You were surprised at how easy that felt to hear. “I’m not-” you said quietly. “I don’t know if I’m ready to say that yet. But um… I want to. Eventually. And I… I’d like to try this.”

You did care for him. And you missed him. And you knew you’d be doing a fair bit of trying to make this up to him, but he was being a lot more understanding than you’d ever have expected from him. You weren’t sure you deserved that, but it meant a lot that he trusted you like this. That he wanted this despite what you’d done, how you’d treated him.

“I know I need to get better at um… at communicating. I might not be like… great at it… like immediately or whatever,” you continued. “But I’ll try. And I won’t shut you out again. But if I start to like… pull away, just… remind me?”

Willy was blinking at like you like you weren’t real and you were a little concerned, until he finally got up, stepping around to your side of the table and dropping into the chair next to you. He cradled your face in his hands and you leaned your forehead against his, just breathing in his air for a moment.

He still didn’t say anything.

“So… we’re uh… good? We’re doing this?” you asked, a nervous giggle escaping your lips.

“Yeah,” he croaked and you saw his grin, wide and bright. “We’re doing this.”

“Maybe this time tell Kappy to get some boundaries, maybe, though?” you teased, leaning forward just enough to brush your lips over his. It was electric and right and you realized how comfortable it was with him. You didn’t need to skew your ideas of what worked to be in a relationship with him. It worked just as it was.