#12steps

April 19th, Wednesday

Hi, I’m Marta and I am a recovering compulsive overeater.

I am powerless over the belief that I cannot be happy until I get the perfect body.

I have lost opportunities to have fun, connect, dance, express my creativity to this belief; as well as for stolen my inner peace, and joy.

“There's still a fire in my heart, my darling

But I'm not burning for you”

Let it All Go, Birdy and Rhodes

Even when I started recovery I did it because I wanted to lose weight and look perfect, and not fully because I was concerned with my well being. To me my well-being could not be without an ideal body. To be honest, I still don’t know if I can be okay with the extra fat on my body.

I am now struggling because I still don’t know what’s wrong with my nutrition.. Do I have a healthy gut? Is restricting sugars okay? What should I eat and not eat? What advice should I follow?

I guess I could go to a nutritionist, personal trainer or something, but I find myself disillusioned with the revolutionary, go-getter attitude of those spaces… I sense that I now need to find my own way; some time to actually implement the advice I heard, tune into my body, listen and execute its cues. That sounds more revolutionary to me than anything I heard anyone say at a gym in years…

At some point you just gotta do the work, right?

“But if we're strong enough to let it in

We're strong enough to let it go oh oh

Let it all go, let it all go, let it all out now”

---

Masters, 

I ask you for a body I can feel confident in as I fully experience this life you have given me & help others do the same for themselves. I trust  you to guide as I search for and implement a diet that aligns with my design.

Yours truly,

I know it’s easy to focus on what we don’t have (Money, dream home, luxury cars, clothes, time, etc.), while also overly focusing on our perceived negatives (crazy boss, debt, deadlines, relationship issues, pain, etc.).  And while shifting our perspective really is as easy as a simple thought, we often get tangled up in our fears and feeling as if we’re barely able to tread water.

In reality, opening your eyes in the morning is the first thing you should be grateful for.  Instead of thinking “here we go again”, we should be thinking “Oh hell yeah, I get another run at it.  Waking up is NOT a guarantee, and there are a finite number of days where we have the pleasure of opening our eyes.  

Instead of focusing on all of the negative in life, it is so much more rewarding to have an attitude of gratitude, and to be genuinely thankful for absolutely everything life has to offer.  Make a concerted effort to find as many things that you’re thankful for as often as you can, and I promise the way you look at life’s problems will change - and by changing the way we look at things, the things we look at will also change, no matter how big or small.

Thinking with a mindset focused on gratitude is a perception shift that will lift the weight of the world off of you.  This ain’t walking around pumping sunshine out of your ass - but it’s understanding that shit can always be worse, and no matter where you are in your fitness, health, financial, recovery or any other journey, there is someone somewhere that would give absolutely anything to change places with you.  

Stop comparing yourself with others and get rid of that victim mindset - don’t think in terms of the glass being half full or half empty, but realize that we’re all pretty damn lucky to still have a glass at all.