#recover

@jeggyverses-jegulus-microfic word count: 961

James wasn’t doing well, and Regulus could tell. He had been off ever since Regulus had stumbled through his fireplace at the end of June, bruised and battered but fucking alive, and angry as hell. It was subtle but certain, the changes. Like he was just a different version of himself. Regulus didn’t like this version very much.

He tiptoed - literally - around Regulus like he might break if his footsteps were too loud, running away when they were alone together, and leaving awkward silences even when they were. He wouldn’t talk about it, any of it! Not the night he flew out of the fireplace, not the terrible waking nightmares that had pushed him through it, not even the arguments and passionate pleas and even more passionate kisses that had led him to think of James’ fireplace in the first place. He was a ghost of himself, floating through the rooms of his house that Regulus was still getting used to and damnit he needed James. He hated to admit it but he did. He was scared; of what had just happened and what might happen in the future, and he knew that no matter what had happened or what was coming he needed his James to stop tiptoeing around this and talk to him.

Finally he managed to catch him alone in the kitchen one night, after his brother and James’ parents had long gone to bed. He heard James bedroom door open and feet down the hallway and, seeing his opportunity, raced after them.

“James,” He said from the kitchen doorway, the light above the sink illuminating the older boy beautifully; his pajama pants hanging low on his hips, his bare shoulders basked in low, fluorescent, orange light. James turned around with a start. 

“Reg! Uh, what- what are you doing up?” He seemed nervous, although that seemed to be his default lately. Regulus just took another step toward him. “Are you- are you alright? Can I get you- I was making, well, I was- tea?” He stuttered, reaching for flailing for a second mug when Regulus still didn’t say anything. He waited until he was quite close to James, close enough to feel the heat from his chest through his shirt, before he spoke, although he wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to say.

“Come back to me.” Were the words that ended up falling from his lips, and he didn’t regret them.

“What?” James all but breathed, and Regulus leaned up to catch his lips in a sweet, heated kiss. One hand reaching up to his cheek he kissed James fervently, the way he had been wanting to the entire last two weeks at his house, the entire last two months it had been since they had done this. Finally pulling away he repeated himself.

“Come back to me.”

“Where did I go?” James asked, breathless, and Regulus smiled at this first sign that things might be alright.

“I don’t know, but I miss you.”

“You’ve been living in my spare bedroom for two weeks.”

“I know,” Regulus said petulantly, “and I miss you. You haven’t talked to me, you haven’t touched me, you’ve barely looked at me.” Snaking his hands around James’ neck he went for the kill. If he had to manipulate James into talking about his feelings then so be it. “Please, Jamie,” He all but whined in his ear, “please come back to me.”

James, predictable, folded like a stack of cards. His hands wrapped around Regulus’ waist and his face buried in Regulus’ hair he breathed out a shuttered breath.

“I’ve been so worried about you.” He whispered into Regulus’ hair.

“Then why didn’t you come to me?” Regulus asked in a tone that was a little too open for his own liking.

“I was so scared, Reggie. I was so scared of what you’d say. I thought- I thought maybe you didn’t want this any more. That it was - that it was some kind of coping. And now that you were starting to recover-”He cut himself off, ashamed at what he was admitting, and Regulus pulled back from the hug to rub his thumb over James’ cheek.

“You thought I wouldn’t want you anymore?” He asked, filling in the gaps. James nodded, sadly, and hurried to continue.

“Which would be fine! I mean- obviously I would be- I would be heartbroken.” His voice broke too, at the thought of it, “But you would be safe, and that would be enough. It’s not- staying here, this house, it’s not- I didn’t want you to think it was conditional.” He said through tears that had started to well and Regulus reached his thumb to wipe away the first that fell. Despite the emotional intensity of the conversation; he smiled. James, as always, had been looking out for him. Trying to put his comfort and security above his own happiness. 

“I know.” He said confidently, wiping another tear from James’ face. “I never questioned that, Jamie. But I do want you, in fact,” he took a sobering breath, “I think I need you. I think you- loving you-” James gave a small gasp at the confession, “I think that’s part of the healing.”  

Sunday coffee...waterfalls and rainy days?... yes please. ☕️🌧

Have a lovely Sunday!

Recover

"Wisdom from the past is best gathered directly from the source."