#(joel)

“Ggrrglll”

Tears are running down your cheeks, your lashes wet, your eyes reddened, your chin and chest covered in your spit. You look like hell. It’s not surprising — Joel’s been fucking your mouth for what felt like eternity. He’s older than you so it takes a while for him to come and usually you’re happy that he can use you for his pleasure for hours, manhandling you like a rug doll, fucking your holes in whatever position he desires, but giving him head… that’s a challenge. Especially when he’s pissed at you.

Joel’s big hands are holding your head in place and you dig your nails into his meaty thighs, fighting for a breath, close to suffocating while gurgling around his cock that’s throbbing in your mouth. Your heart is pounding in your ears and your vision starts going black when Joel finally starts coming down your throat, draining his heavy balls and filling your tummy with his jizz.

As soon as he lets go of your head, you push yourself off him and plop on your butt onto the wooden floor. You’re gobbling up air, wheezing and panting like you’ve been running from a pack of wolves.

“Da—daddy… what the hell..?” You croak between coughs, staring up at him with teary eyes.

Joel tucks his softening but still huge cock into his grey sweatpants and throws you a glare. You see a trace of guilt in his expression or maybe it’s only your wishful thinking.

“Hmm?” he grunts and gets into bed.

“I nearly choked.” You’re on the verge of fresh tears now, your lower lip shaking. Joel gets under the duvet and sighs, finally reacting to your pain.

“Jesus.. C’mere.”

You slowly get up and walk on shaky legs to his bed, then sit on the edge and stare at your hands on your lap. Joel lifts his torso on one forearm and glides his big hand over your back. The warmth of his skin immediately seeps through your thin dress and your soul feels lighter. Yet your throat still hurts like hell, your whole body is sore, you’re trembling.

“Needed relief,” he mumbles and you turn your face to him, your lips in a pout.

“You coulda been more gentle.”

Your whine makes his eyes go dark and your insides freeze. You want to avert your gaze from his, but don’t dare.

“Sorry,” you whisper, apologizing for misbehaving, for upsetting him, for being a bad girl, for …for everything.

“You know why I’ve been rough,” Joel says in a calm tone that makes you wish he was shouting at you. You swallow hard and drop your head.

“I didn’t want to upset you,” you say the truth, shaking like a leaf.

“But you did.”

You nod, still not looking at him, and Joel pinches your chin and turns your head so you’d face him. His eyes show no mercy when he says,

“Next time somethin’ like this happens I’ll shoot the fucker on sight.”

Your breathing stops, your blood runs cold and you nod, feeling with all your being — he’s not joking.

“Yes, daddy.”

Joel lies down and turns onto his side, away from you.

“Go to bed,” he grunts so you stand up and quietly walk to the door. Your pussy is so wet, your panties are soaked through. You’re shivering from the cold, while your core is on fire from sucking Joel’s cock. You want it inside you so much, want to scream and come on it, want Joel to fuck you hard. The lust clouds your mind, makes you bold or rather ruthless, so you turn around at the door and mewl pathetically, your chest full of hope.

“Daddy, can I sleep with you?”

Joel’s voice is muffled by the duvet as he replies,

“No. Go to your room.”

You sigh, your hopes shattered into pieces, and obediently follow his command.

You get into your cold bed and cover your head with a blanket. It’s ok, he still loves you, you think, swallowing your salty tears. He still wants you. He’s just mad. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow he’ll kiss you.

It would be easier for you to endure Joel giving you the cold shoulder if he wasn’t your everything. But he is and he’s always been. After all, he saved your life — found you in the woods dying, your head bleeding, brought your unconscious body to Jackson, gave you another chance.

You woke up in the town hospital, injured and weak, without a trace of memory of who you were, or what had happened to you. The doctor said you had amnesia and while he was explaining your condition and future treatment, you were staring at your saviour, Joel Miller, who was standing in the corner of the room.

He was the most handsome man you’d ever seen — tall and broad, with a head full of salt and pepper curls, pouty lips under his moustache, a patchy beard and piercing brown eyes. You didn’t hear what the doctor was saying, it was like a hum in the background. At that moment in the hospital room your body and your soul found something grounding, someone to hold on to. As if you were a balloon floating through a vast sky until his hand gripped your string. Destiny brought Joel to you, or rather he became your destiny.

With all your heart you hoped that the attraction you’d been feeling was mutual, and soon you started seeing that it was the case. Joel visited you at the hospital almost every day, brought you treats, told you everything about the town and its people. You didn’t talk much, mostly listened to him. The headache following the head trauma was killing you but somehow his deep raspy voice alleviated the pain, gave you comfort and peace. You almost purred listening to him, it was amazingly pleasant. A couple of times he even lulled you to sleep as he was reading you a book that he’d brought for you.

That big gruff man quickly became your friend, but calling him that felt wrong— he was so much more. What do you call a person who helped you choose your name?

Your mind had no trace of your identity so Joel called you ‘sweetheart’ during his visits. The pet name warmed your heart and set your core on fire, but once you laughed bitterly that it should be your name - Sweetheart. Joel frowned.

The next day he brought you a baby names book. God knows where he’d found it but you two spent an hour reading the names. When Joel pronounced your current name and commented that it would suit you perfectly, your heart skipped a beat and you knew immediately — it was the one.

Right from the moment you saw that man, your soul longed for him, your body needed him. Your face lit up at the sight of him, walking into your room, your whole being craved him carnally, and after your discharge from the hospital, the day Joel brought you to your new house, you kissed him. It was the scariest, the boldest thing you’d ever done in your recently-started life. You froze, clinging to him, your lips pressed to his, scared to death that he’d push you away. But he didn’t. Instead his arms wrapped around your torso, the kiss deepened and the groan that you licked off his lips told you everything — he needed you just as much as you needed him. After tasting him you knew for sure — you two were meant to be together.

Of course, the townsfolk weren't too happy about Joel and you becoming a couple. You were much younger than him, alone in the world, no past experience to keep you from being used. That was what they whispered behind your back — ‘Joel’s using that lonely girl.’ They were probably right. You lost your memory but you weren’t stupid. Joel absolutely had you wrapped around his finger. But what all those busybodies didn’t understand was that you were happy he was using you however he pleased. Your body was the only thing you could give him, so it became his. Joel could ask you to do anything and you’d do it in a heartbeat. And he rarely asked. He took it with a gentle or rough hand, depending on his mood, claimed every part of you, and you never objected. Even when it hurt, even when it felt like too much or too fast. Joel replaced all the empty space in your head with himself and only while being by his side you felt whole.

The head wasn’t the only part of you Joel was filling. He fucked you so well, you would scream his name in ecstasy until your throat was sore, until the neighbors knocked on your door, scared that you were being killed. You’d slip out of his arms and run downstairs to apologize for the disturbance, your lips swollen with kisses, your eyes hazy as if you were drunk.

You didn’t know if they really cared about your safety or the curiosity made them interrupt Joel and you fucking but one day he grunted “Fuck ‘em,” and moved your things to his place. No one would dare come to Joel Miller for any explanation so you could moan as loudly as you wanted there.

That’s how you two started living together. You couldn’t be happier — your reality seemed like the most amazing dream. Joel took great care of you — cooked, read you books in front of the fireplace, cuddled you to sleep. Waking up in the middle of the night with him fucking your unconscious body was the hottest thing ever. But your nights weren’t only filled with sex and love.

From time to time you had terrifying nightmares — rough hands groping you, dirty nails scratching your skin with the ferocity of an animal, phantom pain piercing your body. You’d wake up crying and screaming and Joel would always be there by your side, whispering to you, his voice warm, ‘It’s jus’ a dream. I’m here. You’re safe.’ He’d hold you until your breathing got steady, until your tears dried up and you fell back asleep.

The first time you called Joel ‘daddy’ would forever stay in your memory. His cock was deep inside you as you were riding him, relishing the way he was filling your core. The word fell from your lips and the next second Joel growled, pulled you off him and pinned you to the bed. His weight was pushing you into the mattress as his big hand wrapped around your neck.

“What d’you call me?” He hissed through his teeth, glaring down at you.

You were trying to push his fingers off your throat, scared that he’d hurt you, but he wasn’t choking you, only holding you in place.

“M’sorry,” you squeaked, staring up at him with widened eyes. The adrenaline in your blood was adding to your arousal and your pussy was desperately clenching around nothing, despite fear gripping your heart.

Joel’s dark eyes were darting between yours, as if he didn’t know what to do next. You wanted to make it right, you hated the idea of upsetting him, so you murmured,

“I won’t ever say it… I promise.” After a few long seconds, Joel’s hand left your neck.

“Sorry,” he muttered and pressed his forehead to yours. Then he gently settled between your thighs and you moaned when he entered your wet pussy again. He continued fucking you slowly and steadily, your eyes locked, his body flush against yours. Soon you forgot about your slip up, swept by the sensations and your love for Joel, but he didn’t.

Looking deep into your eyes, with his hips rolling against you, he said,

“You can call me that if you wanna.”

“No, no, I—,” you hurried to reassure him, trembling with the way his cock was working you open. “I don’t wanna do anything you don’t like.”

Joel leaned in and softly kissed your lips. His breath tickled you when he mumbled,

“Maybe I liked it a lil’ too much.”

You pulled away so you could look into his eyes and found no trace of a joke there.

“Ok.. daddy.” Overwhelming arousal washed over your whole body when you said it.

Joel swallowed hard and licked his lips.

“My little girl… my love.”

“Oh, daddy,” you doubled down, clenching hard around Joel’s fat cock. “You’re making me feel so good.”

“Uh-huh? Daddy’s taking good care of your tight sweet pussy?”

“Oh yes. I’m so— so close,” you whimpered, arching your back, feeling the burn of a climax growing stronger.

Joel picked up the pace, pumping you full of his cock, growling and panting over you.

“Give it to me, c’mon, baby. Come on my cock.”

You screamed as you unraveled under him, your toes curling, your pussy flooding Joel’s length with so much wetness you felt it dripping down to your asscheeks. Joel followed you soon, his grunt sounded like a roar as he began spilling his big load inside you.

Sex with Joel was always great but that night you both came so hard it made you speechless. By accident you found what you both were missing: you - a person who could be anyone for you when you had no one, Joel - someone who needed him more than life.

Despite the absence of your memories, your health improved a lot, and wishing to be useful, you asked Tommy for a job. Patrolling was out of the question, Joel told you adamantly, and you didn’t object. That’s how you ended up working in Jackson’s clothing store. Inevitably you met new people, got a couple of good friends and Joel was ok with it only if they weren’t men.

As your connection was deepening, Joel’s jealous nature started coming to light. Even a conversation with a guy could land you in hot water. If Joel saw you with a man, he’d ask you what he talked to you about, why you needed to speak to him in the first place, and even if you offered him a logical explanation, he’d still be mad. He’d give you a silent treatment for days on end, wouldn’t kiss or fuck you, wouldn’t even sleep next to you.

One night, punishing you for smiling at a customer, Joel asked you to stay in the guest bedroom. Soon it became your bedroom, a place he’d send you to if he was angry. It was unreasonable, hurtful, upsetting but a sick little part of you loved his possessiveness. It meant that he cared, that he wanted you only for himself, that you were his.

Yesterday you fucked up royally. It was Sunday and you went to the Tipsy Bison with your friends — girls only, of course. A group of young men approached your table, and not wanting to be weird and standoffish, you chatted with them. Joel was busy that evening, overseeing the construction of a few houses in town, and you thought what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

You were standing alone at the bar, waiting for your beer, when one of the men, Jonah, approached you.

“So you’re that mysterious girl everyone’s talking about?” He was a few years older than you, quite handsome and tall.

“I’m not mysterious,” you replied with a friendly smile before taking a bottle from the bartender. Jonah’s eyes slid over your body, hugged beautifully by a new dress you’d found at the shop, and his attention flattered you but at the same time your stomach churned— Joel would hate it if someone was looking at you like that.

“You really don’t remember anything?” The man stepped up a little closer as if waiting for you to tell him a secret. His gaze was curious but warm, besides it was a usual question — everyone in town wanted to know that.

“No, I don’t,” you shook your head and Jonah sighed,

“Must be lonely.” You saw pity in his eyes and pain shot through your heart. Being pitied was the last thing you wanted.

“I’m not lonely,” you said with defiance, holding your head high. “I have Joel.”

“Yeah, right.” Jonah’s eyes darted to the crowd of people at the bar and you could bet you noticed fear in his expression. You smirked. It was wrong to say that people were afraid of Joel but they definitely kept their distance from him and you loved it. Only you could see his soft side.

“He’s working,” you said, having taken pity on the man who was still trying to spot Joel among the crowd as if he was a big bad wolf. Jonah turned to you and his lips spread into a big smile.

“Can I ask?” He leaned forward and lowered his voice so only you could hear him. “He’s so much older than you, aren’t you like … bored with him?”

Suddenly a desire to slap his face burned in your chest. You took a deep breath and then scoffed,

“No, he keeps me very entertained. I barely have time to sleep.” With that you brought the bottle to your lips and took a sip, staring right into Jonah’s widened eyes.

After a few seconds of gawking at you, Jonah chuckled and mumbled,

“Joel’s a lucky guy.”

“I’m the lucky one,” you said dreamily, wishing Joel were there with you.

As Jonah and you were speaking, you couldn’t help but start gushing over Joel, how brave, how useful for the community he was and your heart eyes were sparkling. Jonah surely got a clear message that you were ears deep in love with your man.

You were having a great time that night, laughing and drinking with your friends, and when Jonah offered to teach you how to play pool, you agreed. You had always lost to Joel and desperately wanted to win the next time you two played.

To your horror, the moment you bent down over the green cloth and Jonah leaned over your body, directing your hands, you saw Joel entering the bar. Your heart dropped into your stomach — you knew you were fucked.

You pushed the guy off you and rushed to Joel but he was already out of the door. You ran after him and as he was striding along the street you were hurriedly explaining to him that it was nothing, just a game of pool. You were begging for forgiveness, but he wouldn’t spare you a glance and your heart was breaking with every second he was ignoring you.

Joel came home and without saying a word went upstairs to his bedroom. You followed him like a beat up dog, sad and pathetic. He sat on the bed and unbuckled his belt.

“On your knees.” That was all he said. He didn’t need to tell you anything else. You kneeled and crawled to the spot between his legs.

In the morning as soon as you open your eyes you run downstairs, planning to make Joel an apology breakfast, but on the table you find a note - ‘Left for work.’

You sigh deeply. Your body wants to hug him, your soul needs his warmth. Your throat tightens, tears well up in your eyes, but you wipe them off, slightly reassured by the fact that he left you the note. Maybe he forgave you. Full of hope you start getting ready for your shift at the shop.

All day you’re thinking about Joel. Guilt is eating you alive and at lunch you grab a few sandwiches at the mess hall and run to Joel’s office but find it empty. Feeling lonely and sad you drag your feet back to the shop.

When the evening comes you rush home, hoping to finally see Joel. It’s fine if he’s still mad at you, you’ll be happy just to see him.

“Joel!” you call as soon as you step inside the house.

You hear heavy footsteps down the stairs and see Joel walking down. He is wearing his favorite green plaid shirt and your heart skips a beat at how handsome he looks. He’s not smiling as he approaches you but his expression is warm.

“I missed you,” you admit, throwing your arms around his neck, and Joel hums approvingly.

“Me too, sweetheart. I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” You part from him, searching for his eyes.

He nods with a little smile and butterflies dance in your belly. You can’t believe your luck. Not only is Joel being so sweet with you, he also prepared something for you.

“What is it?” Your eyes glint with tears of happiness as you ask,

“Nah-uh. It’s a surprise, silly girl, I ain’t tellin’ you.”

He pecks your nose and you giggle.

“Go put on that dress of yours I like. I’ll wait for ya.”

You squeal and run upstairs.

Soon you’re walking down the street with Joel by your side, his hand splayed on your lower back. When you walk up to the Bison your eyes widen and you stare at the man.

“Joel?”

“Let’s go in,” he smiles and leads you inside.

When you enter, a weird feeling overtakes you. It’s almost dark, only a few overhead lights are switched on. The place is usually packed with people and buzzes with chatter even on a weekday but now an eerie silence fills the bar. With worry in your eyes you turn to Joel, who’s locking the door.

“Why’s no one here?” you ask.

“Tonight it’s just for the two of us.”

You blink at him as your face lights up, your chest expands with joy, meanwhile Joel takes your hand and leads you to the bar.

“Whiskey?” He asks, walking behind the counter.

You shake your head and giggle,

“You know I don’t like it, daddy. Beer’s fine.”

Joel opens you a bottle and pours himself a glass of whiskey. You marvel at him, proud of your man for being such a respected member of the community that he can get this popular place just for the two of you.

After taking a sip, Joel motions for you to follow him and walks to the pool tables. Your smile drops when he stops at the table you played on last night, the horror you felt when Joel saw you right there, too close to another man, strikes you again.

“Daddy…,” you mumble, your voice already trembling, but it’s like Joel doesn’t notice your distress. He turns to you with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and says,

“Let’s play.”

You shake your head no but it wasn’t an offer. He grabs a cue stick off the wall and breaks the rack while you’re standing there clutching the beer bottle in your clammy hands.

Joel sinks a ball into a pocket and you cheer for him, at the same time feeling like you might be sick from the nerves.

After one miss, Joel hands you the cue stick but you shake your head.

“Ehm… I don’t really wanna play. Can I just watch you?”

Joel frowns.

“No. C’mon. I’ll teach you. You wanted to learn, right?”

That’s what you claimed yesterday so you have no choice but to take the stick, put away your beer and step up to the table. Your heart is beating loudly in your chest while you’re choosing a ball to hit. Finally you take a stance and hold your breath, aiming carefully. Suddenly Joel steps behind you, so close you can feel his big bulge against your ass.

“Daddy,” you purr and wiggle your butt, flirting with him. “You’re distracting me.”

“Yeah?” Joel gruffs and you shiver when he puts his warm heavy hand on your lower back. “Was that fucker distracting you too last night?”

Your smile drops and you try to straighten up, ready to object, but Joel grabs the back of your neck and holds you bent down.

“Stay,” he orders. “I asked you a question.”

“No, he wasn’t.. I mean… he wasn’t this close, daddy,” with your cheek pressed to the cloth you mutter, your voice shaky.

“Liar!” Joel hisses and thrusts his hips against your ass, making you gasp as you slide forward. “He was on top of you! In front of everybody. Mounting my woman.”

“Daddyyyy..” you whine, your eyes filling up with tears, your nails scratching the table under your palms. “It wasn’t like that. He was just teaching me …”

“Teachin’?!” he gruffs. “I’ll show you teachin’.”

With that he grabs the hem of your dress and pulls it up exposing your ass covered by your panties. He rips them off you and you whimper in fear, as his other hand grips the back of your neck tighter, not letting you move an inch. You’re breathing heavily on the verge of crying, knowing well you have no chance to fight Joel off — he’s so much bigger and stronger than you, all you can do is surrender and take whatever punishment he sees fit.

Despite your soul being ready, your body is not.

Slap!

You cry out and jerk when Joel’s heavy hand lands on your naked ass, the sting taking you by surprise.

“Silly girl,” he growls through his teeth. “Needs to be reminded who she belongs to.”

“Daddy, no..,” you start begging for mercy but Joel replies with another slap, making your ass juggle and burn.

“Stay still and take your punishment.” His voice is strained when he says it.

Despite Joel’s command you’re fruitlessly thrashing in his grip as he’s spanking you again and again. You’re whining and sobbing but he taught you to take everything like a good girl. Your ass is burning but you love the way your pussy clenches every time a slap stings your flesh.

The pain grows bigger and soon tears are running down your face onto the table, your nose itching from the wet streaks.

“Stop… please,” you plead, your body shivering, your shaky legs too weak to hold you up.

Joel slaps your asscheek one more time and then his chest presses to your back, his breath tickles your ear as he hisses,

“Have ya learnt your lesson, babygirl?”

“Yes, daddy,” you mutter, sniffing. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Good girl,” he gruffs and straightens up.

You expect Joel to let you go but his hand doesn’t leave your neck. You mewl when his palm caresses your burning asscheek and his fingers graze your pussy lips from behind.

“Hngggg… loved your punishment this much?” Joel rasps, breathing heavily, sensing the wetness on your heated folds. He pushes the tips of his digits between them and you bite your lower lip, feeling shame for your body’s reaction — your cunt was crying for cock while Joel was spanking you.

“Or maybe your pussy drips for any man when you bend down, huh?” Joel’s digits glide up and down your slit, his finger catching on your wet hole that’s clenching for him, luring him inside, begging to be ruined.

“No, no, daddy...only for you,” your voice is trembling with desire and desperation, as you assure him. Yet Joel continues taunting you,

“Last night… when he was here…,” Joel’s fingers leave your pussy and he grips your hips, his bulge pushing against your naked cunt. “You liked it?”

“No, Joel, no— I want only you. You’re the only one I need! I love you so so so much…,” you blubber desperately, trying to make him believe you. And you seem to succeed. Joel sighs behind you and a few seconds later, keeping his clothed cock pressed to your heat, he grabs your shoulder and lifts your front up and off the table. Holding you close, your back flush to his chest, he murmurs in your ear,

“Hope you ain’t lyin’, little girl. For your own sake.”

“M’not,” you mumble, your head turned to the side. You wish he’d see honesty in your eyes, the love that’s pouring out of them even after his harsh treatment.

Joel pushes his nose against your temple and breathes you in. You melt when his lips brush against your neck and he starts leaving kisses there, soft and gentle at first but soon they turn rough as he sucks your delicate skin into his hot mouth and parts from it with a pop.

“Gonna make ‘em know you’re mine,” he growls against your neck like a feral animal. “Mark you all over.”

He does it again and again and you whimper as he puts a hickey after a hickey on your neck, his arms wrapped around your torso with the strength of a python. You probably should object to him possessively painting your skin but your core is burning, your hole’s leaking, leaving a sticky mess between your thighs, while Joel’s mouth is latched onto your neck.

“Ohh daddy,” you moan, tilting your head to the side to give him better access, your hand gripping the back of his neck to keep him close. Joel breathes out, “I’m here, baby. I got you,” and takes your dress off your body, almost ripping it. Then he spins you around and makes you lie down onto the table, your limbs weak, ass sore and burning.

“Damn…,” he groans at the sight of your blooming pussy and takes a stand between your legs, his fingers digging into your thighs.

You moan when his clothed bulge meets your naked cunt and rub yourself against him searching for any pressure. Joel smirks.

“Needy lil thing.”

He’s towering over you in the dark bar, his eyes full of fire and lust, his hand’s sliding over your front — from your neck down to your belly. Your back arches off the table and you whimper when he presses his big hot palm to your wet pussy and holds it there possessively.

“Please… please,” you mumble, barely breathing, hoping he’d put down the fire that's been burning you up since last night. You need him so much it hurts.

“Tell me what you need, little girl” Joel gruffs, licking his lips.

“Your cock, daddy. Fuck me, I’m begging you.”

Joel watches you for a few moments, probably relishing how desperate he’s making you, his eyes hungrily running over your heaving chest, your pebbled nipples, your puffy cunt.

Slowly he glides his hands over your thighs and then grabs and spreads them wider. You crave to be ruined by him so you place your feet on the pool table, offering yourself like a cheap whore.

“Fuck..,” Joel mumbles, watching your pussy leak for him, his jaw slackened, his eyes obsidian. He almost moans when his middle and ring fingers delve into your hole, your slick flooding his digits as he begins finger-fucking you, his other hand splayed on your lower belly. Lewd sounds of your sopping cunt fill the bar and you moan loudly when Joel presses his calloused thumb to your clit and rubs it up and down with every thrust of his hand.

“Hungry pussy… grippin’ me like this. Gonna suck in my whole fist one day,” Joel grunts, with a twinkle in his eyes but his blown out pupils tell you he’s not kidding.

“Ahhhh yes, daddy…,” you whine at the image your mind is drawing for you—-Joel’s hand deep inside you, your hole stretched impossibly wide around his thick wrist. Losing your mind from the pleasure you twitch your hardened nipples, pull them roughly, moan and squirm on the table, letting Joel see how good he’s making you feel.

It doesn’t take long for you to come, and you explode, screaming ‘Daddy!’ in the empty bar, your walls fluttering around Joel’s fingers.

“That’s my girl,” he praises you, not stopping, pumping his thick fingers in and out of your hole relentlessly, your cum drops spraying everywhere.

When the ecstasy turns into pain you push his hand away and Joel starts unbuckling his belt. Not waiting for you to catch your breath he frees his hard cock and pushes it inside you in one go.

“Yeahhhh,” you moan at the insertion, his length spreading your walls, the fat tip kissing your cervix. Taking his cock hurts you a little as always, especially after you’ve just come, but you welcome the pain like a gift.

“Thank you, daddy,” you purr with your voice coated with lust and adoration. Thrusting in and out of you Joel pants,

“What for, babygirl?” He knows for sure but he needs to hear it. Moving back and forth over the table with each stroke of Joel’s hips you reply,

“For giving me your cock.. for filling me so well..ahhhhh… for being in my life.”

Joel gives you a soft smile but then an animalistic growl falls from his lips and he picks up the pace, fucking you hard and fast, the snaps of his hips making his heavy balls slap against your sore ass.

“Daddy—-daddy—daddy—!!” You chant, losing your mind on the brink of ecstasy, and when Joel starts spilling his warm cum inside you, you come again with him.

“Yeahhh…,” he groans, dropping his head back in pleasure as your tight pussy is milking his cock greedily, drinking every drop he’s giving you. Only when you’re full to the brim, Joel stills and pulls out. You hastily place your hand between your thighs, keeping him in, not letting his pearly jizz slide out onto the table and make a mess.

As you’re putting your dress on, your inner thighs wet with cum, your eyes flick to Joel again and again. He’s already tucked his cock back into his jeans, now he’s sipping whiskey on a bar stool, breathing heavily, not looking at you.

You swallow hard — what if he’s still mad at you? He made you come twice but he didn’t kiss you even once. Maybe his praise during sex was just a part of the dirty talk.

After fixing your hair and clothes, you come up to Joel and place your hand on his thigh. He looks at you, his expression impossible to read.

“I’m sorry, Joel. And I meant it— thank you for being in my life.”

Joel’s face softens and he pulls you close for a hug. His palm runs down your back and when it reaches your ass cheek you hiss in pain.

“Hurts?” Joel asks, quickly pulling his hand away. You nod but, appreciating the guilt in his voice, you add, “It’s gonna be ok soon. And.. it was hot.” You flash him a playful smile and Joel chuckles. The sound of his laughter fills your heart with joy and full of happiness, you say,

“But you can’t deny that you overreacted?”

When Joel’s smile falls and his brows furrow, you immediately realize that you’ve screwed up again. Ire rumbles in his voice as he gruffs,

“Overreacted? That’s what you think?”

He gets up and you take a step back from him in fear.

“No, I mean… you didn’t have to… I was wrong I get it but.. but you can’t stop me from interacting with all men.”

Slowly walking towards you Joel tilts his head and spits,

“Can’t I?”

You chuckle nervously, backing away, and try to save the situation.

“I don’t have any male friends and I don’t want to. But I work and… well.. I have to talk to men sometimes.”

Joel’s obsidian eyes are piercing you, his jaw shifts until he hisses,

“Maybe you shouldn’t work at all then.”

Now you can’t help but scoff.

“What? That’s ridiculous. I can’t sit at home all day. I wanna help the community.”

Joel’s nostrils flare as he gruffs,

“How were you helpin’ the community last night? Pushin’ your ass out for another man’s cock?!”

Anger burns your belly and your throat tightens when you hear Joel’s harsh words. You’ve submitted to him a thousand times but your patience has its limits.

With your lips trembling, tears risking to spill, you cry out,

“It’s unfair, Joel! I didn’t do anything bad and you keep talking to me like I’m a town slut! Like you own me!”

Joel chuckles darkly and then bites back, “I do own you. I fuckin’ bought you!”

Silence follows his words. For a few seconds you two are staring at each other, Joel’s eyes full of fire, yours— glossy and widened.

“What?”

“Ya heard me!” Joel’s chest is rising and falling rapidly as he grumbles, “Think I found you in the woods? Just stumbled upon you by a goddamn chance?!”

He takes a step closer to you, his nostrils flaring.

“I bought you off a group of raiders, saved you and brought you here! I hope you’ll appreciate it in future cause right now you’re behavin’ like an ungrateful brat!”

His words are swirling in your mind so fast you can’t catch them. ‘Raiders.’ ‘Bought you.’

Hyperventilating, you lean against the table behind you and shake your head in disbelief and shock. You set your gaze on your feet, scared to look up and find sincerity in Joel’s eyes. The idea that he’s telling the truth terrifies you.

“No… I was lost and alone … I got hurt. That’s what you told me.”

“I lied.” Joel’s words sting like a slap to your cheek, and as you face him you find only traces of anger in his expression. What you see mostly is pain and guilt.

“Fuck…” He rubs his face with his hands and turns away from you. For some time he says nothing and you’re staring at his back, needing him to speak yet at the same time dreading it.

Joel drags his feet to a nearby stool and sits on it. His voice is low when he talks as if he’s afraid that someone might hear.

“Been doin’ business with them for a short time. Tradin’ food for whatever they had — medicine, guns… then bringin’ it all to Jackson. They were the scum of the earth. Maria would never let them behind the town walls and they knew it.”

He groans as if it pains him to continue but he still does.

“One day I saw you in their camp. You looked…” Joel pauses, his jaw clenches, his fists are twitching.

“Hell knows what they’ve been doin’ to you there but…. I can imagine… fuckin’ bastards.”

You’re listening to him so intently you don’t realize that tears are streaming down your face.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you croak. “Why don’t I remember… that?”

Joel doesn’t reply and you sense he’s hiding the answer from you.

“Joel… tell me…please.”

Pain twists his face when he sees your tears, your trembling lips. He averts his eyes and mutters,

“I offered them ammo and food in exchange for you. They agreed.. probably were gettin’ desperate with the winter comin’. I was about to take you with me but when they freed you… you ran.”

You hug your middle, trying to calm your shaking body, your heart pounding loudly in your ears.

“I couldn’t let you run away. You were too weak. Wouldn’t survive the first encounter with the infected.”

Looking you straight in the eye, he confesses,

“I caught you but you started fightin’ me. Couldn’t blame you… considerin’ the life you’d been livin’.”

You swallow your tears, your chest tightens more and more the closer you step under the shadow of your past.

“You scratched me. I pushed you off…on instinct.. you fell … hit your head on a rock.”

Joel chokes on his words, his eyes full of tears.

“I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

The truth hangs in the air like heavy smoke, it stings your tearful eyes, fills your chest. Joel wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and croaks,

“You know what happened next. You were bleedin’ so I carried you to Jackson. When Doc said that you lost your memory I thought maybe— maybe it was for the best. You didn’t have to carry all that horror with you. You could start a new life here.”

Not being able to stand on your feet anymore you slump on the floor, press your knees to your chest and bury your face in your hands. You don’t want to see Joel at the moment, your heart feels ripped apart — the most important person in the world has been lying to you.

A miserable sob falls from your lips but you hate to show your pain to Joel right now so you clumsily stand up and walk past him to the exit.

“Where’ya goin’?” Joel asks, getting up. Heavy footsteps follow you when you walk out into the street, big tears rolling down your cheeks, your hands shaking.

You walk to the only place you can — home, Joel’s house. Your legs are trembling, carrying you there, and you’re walking with your head downcast, hiding your pained and tear-stricken face, the night helping you to conceal your misery. You know that Joel’s following you but don’t look back.

At home you immediately run upstairs to your room. You close the door and fall into your bed, finally able to cry in earnest. Everything you’ve known in the world was a lie, written by a deceiving hand of a man you would give your life to. What else has he lied about? His love for you? Was it even real? Or was it his possessiveness, his ownership of you, that pulled him to you like a magnet?

‘I bought you!’ Joel’s words are ringing in your head over and over as you’re soaking your pillow with bitter tears. You hear Joel downstairs and even hating him you’re grateful that he didn’t follow you to your bedroom.

An hour later your throat hurts from weeping, your face is puffy, your eyes barely see anything behind your tears and you close them, still sobbing while your mind is torturing you with the images from your dreams. Every vision stabs your heart with a sharp knife. You can’t be sure if all of that happened, dreams can be dreams, only that, but your intuition and the ache in your body tell you they were your reality, the world you lived in.

You cry and cry but the exhaustion of the day takes its toll and you drift off.

Daddy…

His lips are soft, his hands are rough and calloused. They keep your legs open, pressing onto your inner thighs, as his warm wet tongue is licking your pussy.

Your hands fly to his head and you clasp his locks, pulling him closer to your heat.

Baby…

Up fly your hips, making his tongue dive deeper, and it pushes into your sopping hole and starts fucking you, your juices flowing into his mouth, his nose rubbing your clit.

Ahhh…

A hot wave rises fast in your core and you explode, whimpering and arching your back off the sweat covered sheets. Ecstasy is lighting up every cell of yours as your eyes flutter open and you stare at rays of the early morning sun that’s painting the ceiling amber.

Joel groans against your pulsating cunt and you look down to watch him prolong your orgasm, his lips gliding over your puffy folds and clit, his eyes closed in pleasure, his moustache and beard wet with your slick.

He’s gorgeous.

He’s perfect.

He’s a liar.

“No…” Your sleepy voice objects, your weak hands push Joel’s head off you, when a flood of memories from last night bursts into your mind. You feel tears welling up in your eyes, your belly burns with anger, pain squeezes your chest. Joel looks up, frowning, but as soon as you start squirming away from him, he quickly climbs over your body and pins you to the mattress with his weight.

“Shhhh,” he shushes you before your scream rings in your quiet bedroom,

“Get off me!”

You start hitting his broad back and sides but he grabs your hands and pushes your wrists into the pillow over your head.

“Stop it, girl!” He groans, hovering over your face, his glare stating clearly that you need to listen to him.

You’re thrashing under him for some time, your tears flying in all directions, curses leaving your twisted lips when you remember what he did to you, what he lied about.

When strength leaves your body you lie still, crying quietly, your eyes shut.

Joel’s voice is the warmest it’s ever been.

“Look at me, my love.”

You shake your head in defiance, still keeping your eyelids closed.

“Please, baby, look at me. Please…”

There’s so much surrender in his tone it doesn’t sound like him at all and surprised you stare up at him. His pupils are still blown out, but his gaze is warm and remorseful, eyes reddened with a lack of sleep.

“I’m sorry”, he mumbles, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

After each ‘sorry’ he kisses your wet cheeks, chin, forehead and you keep squirming under him, crying.

“No… I — I hate you… stop,” you sob, disgusted that your body yearns for his caress, hating how your heart is fluttering in your chest every time he presses his lips to your skin, his breath warming up your cold cheeks. When he looks at you his eyes are full of tears.

“I’m sorry for throwin’ the truth at you like that. I didn’t want to hurt you with it. I wanted you to understand..”

“Understand what?” You’d shout if your voice weren’t so fucked up from crying all night so all you can do is rasp, glaring up at the man. “Understand that I’m your possession? Understand that I’m nothing without you? That I owe you my life?”

He shakes his head and a single tear rolls down his cheek and falls on your lower lip. You mindlessly lick it off.

“I know I owe you everything”. Your tone is full of surrender as you say, “You did save me. But you lied to me. I lost all my memories because of you.”

“It was an accident!” Joel exclaims desperately, his palms squeezing your wrists. “I’d never… I hate myself for it.”

You choke on another sob, a myriad of emotions swirling in your chest, squeezing your heart. You can’t help but feel sorry for the man you love deeply and when Joel lets go of your hands and drops his head on your chest, you don’t push him away. You feel him sob silently, his guilt wetting your skin, and his despair suddenly dries your own tears.

Yes, he lied, you think, but he wanted to protect you from the pain. Everyone’s past is haunted these days and you’ve been living carefree until yesterday, not knowing how dark yours was. Wouldn’t you wish you were clueless again? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to think that the visions of cruel hands, spreading your legs and taking you by force, were just a fantasy, a nightmare that fades in the air with the first rays of the morning sun. Yet now you know it’s not just that and chills run down your spine, making you shiver. You wrap your arms around Joel’s back, seeking comfort in the only place you know— his embrace. He gives it to you immediately— his arms slide under your back and he holds you tightly. Then he lifts his head and his puffy eyes find yours.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

You can’t forgive him yet but your expression softens and when he leans down, searching for your lips, you kiss him. Your mouth parts welcoming his tongue, you tilt your head to deepen the kiss and moan, melting under his big body.

Suddenly Joel parts from your lips and presses his forehead to yours.

“I killed ‘em. Killed ‘em all, my love,” he gruffs, his breath hot on your lips.

“Who?” You ask but in your gut you already know the answer.

“Those raiders… who had you.”

He plants his forearms on the bed by your shoulders to lift himself up and says, his eyes fiery,

“About a week after I brought you to Jackson, Tommy and I sneaked out at night... tracked them down.”

You’re staring up at him, your eyes widened, taking in every word hungrily.

“Tommy knows? About me?”

Joel swallows hard, probably scared of your reaction, and gives you a curt nod.

“I had to tell him. Needed back up in case it went sideways.”

You feel anger rise again in your belly at the realization that Tommy has been lying to you, too, hiding the truth, but you suppress it, your whole being needs Joel to keep talking.

“How d’you do it?”

Joel cups your cheek gently before speaking,

“Got into the leader’s tent.. cut his throat while he was sleepin’. The others were outside.”

“No one woke up?” Your voice is shaky as you ask Joel.

“Some did. I dealt with them. And those who tried to run… Tommy took ‘em out with a sniper rifle.”

Your body is trembling as you listen to him, butterflies swirling in your belly. To your surprise or horror you realize that you love hearing all that. It not only brings you joy, his confession turns you on.

“You could’ve just shot them all. During the day.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Joel presses a kiss to your forehead before saying, “but I wanted to watch them bleed to death.”

Your breath hitches and you buck your hips, pressing your naked pussy to Joel's clothed bulge. When you feel him big and hard your lips part and you moan,

“Wish I could’ve seen it.”

Joel’s dark eyes dart between yours as understanding flashes across his face. A corner of his lips curves up and his hand slithers down between your bodies.

“Wish to see what daddy did for you?”

A shiver runs through your body when you hear his words and you nod eagerly, parting your legs wider to accommodate his hips.

Joel chuckles darkly, his face hovering inches from yours, his body big and strong pushing you into the bed, and you moan when his hot cockhead delves between your folds and rubs your clit up and down.

“Oh daddy,” you whimper softly, your pussy clenching around nothing, your slick sliding out of your needy hole.

Joel leans down and grunts into your ear, as his tip nudges at your wet entrance,

“You’d wanna see me cut the fuckers’ throats?”

Saying the last word he pushes his cock inside you, parting your walls with his stiffness and your lips form an O when you take all his inches in one go.

“Yes—yes—yes,” you breathe out, going cross eyed with the way he fills you up. Joel begins fucking you hard, growling and panting, his lips brushing your temple,

“I killed ‘em all. Every jerk who’d hurt you. Would’ve done it a thousand times over... again.. and again.. and again.”

With every word he pushes his cock deeper inside you, his fat head rubbing against your soft spot as he almost pulls out, only to pierce you with it again.

You drool with how amazing you feel, your eyes roll back to the back of your head as you’re rising higher to your peak.

“Thank you, daddy,” you moan. “Thank you for sending them to hell. For me.”

Joel’s hips slow down and he glides his thumb over your lower lip.

“Of course, sweetheart.” His voice wavers, he’s visibly touched by your words of gratitude.

He kisses you gently and then murmurs against your lips.

“I love you more than life.”

“I love you, daddy.”

A soft moan falls from his wet lips and he keeps fucking into your pussy but now his movements are slow and steady, his thrusts gentle.

“Come on my cock, sweetheart. It’ll make daddy so happy.” You whimper as he’s kissing a path down your neck and then latches onto your breast. He’s swirling his tongue around your pebbled nipple, nibbling on it while he languidly rolls his hips, feeding you his cock again and again.

You unravel with his name on your lips, your pussy fluttering around his fat girth and soon he grunts and starts painting your walls with his warm cum. The symphony of your moans fills the room and your heart sings when you hear how amazing you make Joel feel. This big gruff man whose hands ended lives is whimpering because of you, pressing his body to yours like you’re the most precious thing in this world. You hug him tightly and you two are slowly coming down from your highs together, his cock still spilling cum into your core, your walls gripping him from time to time.

Then Joel rolls over and immediately scoops you into his embrace. You nuzzle his neck, breathing in his musky scent, your eyes closed, your body heavy with a pleasant tiredness.

“You hate me?” he rasps after a few minutes of silence. You don’t need to look up at him to know that his eyes are filled with tears.

“I love you.” Your voice is quiet but unwavering as you reply.

The truth about your past doesn’t easily settle in your heart. Your nightmares still come, always the same ones, always about them. In your mind you understand that those are ghosts and nothing else. They’re dead and gone, rotting in the cold ground, while you’re here, alive and well, thanks to Joel. When those ghosts come to haunt you at night, you wake up and cuddle up to the man who saved you, the man who takes care of you, the man who loves you.

Joel still guards you from every man in Jackson but now you know why — his protective nature demands him to act this way. He probably sees your abusers in all the guys who approach you, talk to you, lay their eyes on you.

Soon you see them, too. Fear twists your heart when a man steps into your shop, when his eyes linger on your chest or your lips a little too long. The attention that used to flatter you now feels like a punch in the gut. Your pulse quickens, your heart pounds in your chest, and panic subsides only when the person leaves.

Not being able to do your job properly you quit. You lie to Maria that your headaches are back and you need more rest. Joel confirms your deceitful words, satisfied that you’re going to be home more often. So you spend your time cooking, reading and waiting for him to return from work.

Tonight you’re both reading on the sofa in the living room, your feet on Joel’s lap, his hand resting over them, keeping you warm. It’s quiet except for the wood crackling in the fireplace. When you read the same sentence for the fifth time, you realize that there’s another thought swirling at the back of your mind. You close the book and sit up.

“Joel,” you call softly. “Can I ask you something?”

The man glances up at you from behind his reading glasses and when he sees your worried face he takes them off and puts the book aside.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

You drop your head and fumble with the hem of your nightie, all of a sudden too nervous to speak on the topic of your past. You rarely discuss it with Joel, your previous life and what he did still feel like an open wound.

Noticing your hesitance Joel scoops you up and puts you onto his lap. With your hands on his broad chest, his warmth comforting you, you finally speak,

“When you met me.. there.. what did they call me?”

Joel takes a deep breath and his brows furrow. He glides his palms up and down your arms and nods,

“Yes, I asked them about your name.”

Your breathing quickens as you lean forward.

“What was it?”

Joel cups your cheek, gives you a warm smile, and pronounces your name, the name you both chose at the hospital.

“What?” You frown in confusion. “But… we picked it together. You brought the name book to my room, remember?”

“Yeah,” Joel nods. “And I said it would suit you perfectly.”

You’re gawking at the man as he says,

“Your name was the only thing I learnt about you. I wanted you to have it.”

His gaze is so loving you feel close to bursting into tears so you push your face against Joel’s neck and take full lungs of his scent, trying to calm a tsunami of emotions in your chest. Joel hugs you tightly and sighs,

“I shoulda learned more about you.. interrogated them, asked about your past. But I was so damn angry… wanted them dead and gone. For what they’d done to you.”

“No, no,” you mumble, clinging to his big torso. “I don’t need it.” You sit up on his lap and say, “I can’t miss something I don’t remember, right?”

Joel looks at you pensively and then nods,

“Yeah, I reckon.”

You rest your head on his shoulder and sit quietly for a few minutes. He’s rocking you gently on his lap and you feel so peaceful and warm you can purr.

On the brink of reality and sleep you feel Joel’s hand slide under your nightie and between your legs.

“Daddy…,” you whimper softly, spreading your thighs wider for him.

“Yes, baby. Let me make you feel good.”

You nod weakly and close your eyes, trusting Joel to give you the most amazing pleasure, to take care of you only he knows how.

A moan falls from your parted lips when Joel pushes his thumb between your folds and slides it down to your clenching hole. He gathers some wetness and then covers your clit with it. You bite your lips as he starts slowly rubbing it, torturing you with the languid pace. Turned on and needy you grind your hips back and forth, seeking more stimulation, and Joel cooes,

“Uh-huh? D’ya wanna come, babygirl?”

With your eyes still shut you beg, your lips brushing Joel’s neck,

“Yes, daddy, please.”

Joel hums and his hand leaves your pussy. You whine pathetically and your eyes snap open only to see Joel sucking on his thumb, his eyelids fluttering close in pleasure. He hums around his finger, tasting your desire, and then carefully pulls it out of his mouth and returns the drenched digit to your pussy.

“Gonna soak your lil’ clit. Make it nice ‘n wet”

He grunts and presses his saliva-covered finger to your hardened bud, making you moan loudly and arch your back. You feel lightheaded as he starts rhythmically pleasuring you, bringing you closer to your peak. You dart your tongue out and lick Joel’s neck, his skin hot and salty, until he turns his head and catches your eager lips with his. He’s swallowing your moans and whimpers while his thumb is drawing infinities over your clit. Soon it starts twitching under his thumb and Joel growls into your mouth as you come undone in his arms, your pussy crying onto his lap.

“My good girl,” he whispers into your ear, his thumb gently gliding between your folds, prolonging your shuttering orgasm yet being careful not to overstimulate you.

When your bliss dissipates, your body goes limp on his lap and you’re panting against Joel’s neck, exhausted and satisfied. You hear smacking sounds and flutter your eyes open to see Joel lick your slick off his fingers.

“Can never get enough of you, baby. Daddy’s gonna lick it all off later.”

“Yes, please,” you murmur before your eyelids close and you fall asleep.

As Joel’s carrying you upstairs you’re dreaming of him walking through the woods with your unconscious body in his strong arms. It looks like you’re sleeping peacefully but soon your pulse skyrockets as you see a black smoke following you two. The darkness is licking at Joel’s feet, wishing to drown you in its poisonous cloud and you try to scream and warn him about it but your voice won’t work. Joel’s walking confidently, his steps sure and determined, and you hope or rather know that he’s going to get you to safety. You can trust him to do it. Jackson’s walls soon appear in front of Joel and the huge wooden gates open, welcoming him and you. Your man carries you past them and as they close behind you two, the black smoke crashes against the thick walls and clears up. Your heartbeat slows down and a little smile curves your lips. You’re safe.

You never share the truth of your past with anyone else. You don’t want to be pitied but most of all you’d hate if people blamed Joel for your amnesia. He broke you, took your past from you, but he was also the one to build you back up, he gave you his love, support, he gifted you a home, a chance for a fresh start. Joel became your best friend, your lover, your family. He’s not perfect, he’s not a saint, but who is?

Thank you for reading! Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed the fic! I’d love to know what you think, loves💞

MASTERLIST || read on AO3

Tag list: @/milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @keylimebeag @pascaltesaye @meetmeatyourworst @callmebyyournick-name @/tateypots @pedrofan @chloeee20 @ess-evo @upintheclouds95 @ashleyfilm @shadowqueen2024 @time-for-my-weekly-spanking @libre-sol @iamladyp @somebody-get-me-rehab

Joel grumbled something, propping his foot on the coffee table in front of him. "Get lost, Tommy."

He'd thought that with his daughter, Sarah, at summer camp he'd get six weeks of peace, get work done, maybe take his daughter somewhere nice when she got back. But he forgot he had a brother and he forgot how annoying he was.

Sure, six weeks without his kid was a perfect and maybe a once-in-a-lifetime to get his dick 'wet' as Tommy put it. But he'd been out the game for years, out of practise. He wouldn't know how or who to approach.

"C'mon, what kind of brother would I be if I let you mope around alone in the house," he said, whacking Joel on the shoulder.

"A good one." Joel took a swing of his beer, watching the sport without knowing what team was doing what.

Tommy turned off the tv and snatched away Joel's beer, getting him up from the sofa. "There's a bar I know where everyone looking to get fucked goes, c'mon."

Joel decided he didn't want to know how his brother knew this place but as Tommy was already grabbing his truck keys and heading out the door. He'd be damned if he let Tommy drive his truck.

Yeah... that was why he was going...

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The bar was already loud when he and Tommy got there and ordered their beers. Joel would have one, maybe another if he was here long enough but then he'd go home and... see to himself if he had to.

It would have been nice to have something for the evening. It had been a long time and his own fist wasn't enough. He had a pick if he needed, he guessed. He wasn't immune to all the single middle aged mom's around him that would talk to him on the school drop off, invite him to one of their garden parties. Even some with rings on their fingers always lingered too long when shaking his hand or asking for some 'construction' advice.

But none of them did anything for him.

Tommy patted his brother on the back as he winked at the lady behind the bar. "See anything you like, yet?"

They'd been there... what? Ten minutes.

Then yes, he saw something he liked and his jaw almost dropped.

Tommy spotted the way he stilled and followed his gaze. "Holy shit."

You were with three girls- your friends, Joel assumed- and a guy hanging onto you, an arm draped around your hips. You were nursing a drink, laughing with your friends, tongue darting out to the straw of your cocktail.

Joel was done. He knew it immediately.

You were only twenty-one, young and beautiful and worse, Sarah's baby-sitter. Sure, his daughter was fourteen but on the late nights he had to work he didn't like to leave her alone.

Enter you. Good grades, polite, always called him Mr Miller like it wasn't the hottest thing. You stayed every night Joel needed to work, you cooked for Sarah, even ensured there was left overs for Joel and Tommy sometimes.

You'd tidy when he never asked, you never drank the beers he left for you. You were perfect.

And Joel knew, the first day you'd baby-sat his daughter over a year ago he'd made a mistake. He knew it when he watched you walk down his porch, when he started offering you lifts home and wishing you'd accept, when he had a wet dream like a horny teenager and it was you under him.

This was some cruel joke.

As if you could hear his thoughts your eyes caught over the noise of the bar. There was shock registering first and then you were dismissing your group to walk over to the Millers.

Joel gulped when he spotted what you were wearing. A tight high collared shirt, your hair pinned and the shortest skirt with heels.

Like a present to be un-wrapped...

"If it isn't the Miller brothers," you grinned.

"Hey darlin'," Tommy greeted first, reaching up to give you a small hug.

Joel's jaw clenched as you hugged him back. But Tommy was respectful, hands staying high on your body. Better than Joel would do.

You pulled away and smiled at Joel. "Mr Miller."

He nodded, taking a swig of his beer as he watched your tongue dart out in search for the straw. Fuck.

Tommy held a hand on your back. "I gotta take a leak, keep him company would you."

Joel didn't know what kind of game his little brother was playing.

"Of course," you smiled, sliding into the seat Tommy had vacated. "Don't I strive to look after the Millers."

Tommy chuckled and winked at Joel as he disappeared into the crowd.

"Hi there," he drawled.

You smiled. Maybe it was the lighting, or the alcohol, but your eyes were darker than he'd ever noticed. "Hey. Didn't expect to see you here tonight."

"Sarah's at camp," he said. He was painfully aware you knew. You hadn't been around in two weeks because he'd had no reason to ask you. Well, no appropriate reason.

"She enjoying it?" you threw a leg over yours, grazing his leg as you did.

"Think so," he said, "what about you, huh? Enjoyin' your freedom?"

You chuckle. "You know I love working for you, Mr Miller."

"Joel," he corrected you. He took a swing of his beer, watching you watch him.

"Jo-el," you draw out his name.

Something in Joel stirred, his pants couldn't be growing tighter, right? Thank god for the dim lighting.

He cleared his throat. "So this is where the kids hang out these days, huh?"

"I dunno about kids?" you said, leaning your body over slightly. "Am I a kid?"

Joel let his eyes wander down. The expanse of your legs, the skirt riding up your thighs and the way your chest rose and fell with your breath. Then slowly, he trailed back up your body. "I guess not."

Of all those times he'd watched you from the porch, you'd always looked back at him at least once, maybe twice to give a little wave as he leaned on the door. Or when you'd started accepting his lifts home and would always linger in his seat when he turned the engine off, the two of you leaning over the console and chattering a bit longer. Or when it came to staying to watch a game with him when Sarah had gone to bed when he knew you hated sport.

Of all those times he'd never let his mind wander as much as it was not.

"Tommy dragged me out," said Joel, taking more of his beer.

"He dragged you?" you chuckled. "You didn't want to come?"

"I'm glad I did," he said.

You take a longer sip of your drink, nodding. "I'm glad you did too."

Joel watched you a second as you tilted your head, a small tilt to your head. "You wanna another drink?" he asked. He wasn't even sure how much you'd had already. Was all this new look and attitude the cocktails talking?

"I should be good," you muse.

Joel decided in that moment he'd either spend the rest of the night in your company, or go home alone. "Your friends not missing you?" he didn't even want to look back at your friends maybe waiting for you. Or that guy watching you.

You also didn't care to look back. "Let them."

Joel smirked as he brought his bottle to his lips. "Atta girl."

He heard your intake of breath and felt satisfied. Your leg kicked off your other one and had grazed his, going down and down and he was sure you weren't doing this on accident. Not anymore.

"You can't say things like that," you chuckle, shuffling in your seat.

God, your thighs were pressing together tightly. Such a pretty sight...

You leaned over in your seat. "Do you know how many women would kill to hear you say that to them?"

"Well, i'm saying it to you, ain't I?"

You look at him through your lashes and Joel's legs widen to accommodate for the rising need in his crotch. It was wrong. It was so wrong. It was crossing a line. "I think I'll take that drink, if you're still offering?"

Joel nods and waved someone over to get you the same. The two of you talked a little more as you waited, your drink sliding over moments later.

"It must get lonely," you said, fingers dancing around the condensation of the glass. "That house all alone."

It seemed both of you had forgot about Tommy at that point.

The game being played between the two of you suddenly seemed real to Joel. "You tryin' to get an invite over?"

"Maybe."

You didn't miss a beat.

Joel looked at you. People were piling into the bar, music was being played but all he could focus on was you.

Your hand darted out, your fingers grazing his knee.

He looked down at his knee, where you touched him. Could you make out the dent in his jeans. "You know, i'm old enough to be your father."

"So should I start calling you daddy?"

He chocked on his beer. He managed to finish it, smirking to himself. "You got a mouth on you."

"You started it looking at me like that."

Joel rested against the bar. "I'm your employer."

You shrug. "And i'm not at work."

Joel looked around the bar and found his brother making out with a woman at the furthest end. He was sorted. "Why do you hang out here, huh kid?" if what Tommy told him was true he wasn't sure he could handle the idea of you coming here, looking out for someone that wasn't him.

You shrug. "It's a good bar, good drinks, good company usually."

"Usually?" he teased, his hands on his thighs. "You know, Tommy told me some filthy things around this place."

You lick your lips, holding back amusement. "Really?" you stand to your feet, leaning on the bar closer to him. You slot perfectly between his thighs.

His hand danced close to your hip but didn't touch you. Not yet. "People come here for one thing."

"Enlighten me, Joel."

His name from your lips made his brain fuzzy, effecting him more than any beer. But he couldn't do it, god, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Of the counter. Of how good you'd look bent over the counter, tight skirt bunched up at your hips.

But the words failed with him.

It was like you could tell, like you knew every move of his and every twitch.

You take one more sip of your drink before sliding it over the counter.

Joel watched as you got to your feet and worry rose on him. Worry he'd lose all he wanted.

"I'm going around the back, i'm going to be there for two minutes before I call an uber to go home. See you."

You meant it to. He watched you walk off, only briefly waving to your friends as you wove in and out of the people.

You were giving him two minutes to fuck over his life.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You waited, and waited for what you thought was two minutes. Truth be told you didn’t have a watch and lingering around the back of the bar probably wasn’t the greatest idea.

You could tap your foot and wait, rethinking your words and actions and hope that every time the door swung open, it would be your boss.

Joel fucking Miller. What game were you playing? More to the point, what was he doing?

Looking at you like that, carelessly letting his eyes wander as he imagined everything he wanted to do to you? You weren’t immune to his looks, his touches that lasted too long and the way he always watched you walk up to your front door, the engine only roaring once you were safe inside.

But now it seemed- faced with the ultimatum of fucking you or leaving you as nothing but his daughter’s babysitter- he was choosing the latter.

You’d really thought your lonely nights with only toys and fingers for company may have been rectified.

As you push yourself off the wall you really thought-

A sudden strong and rough hand grabbed your wrist and turned you back until you were against the wall and until lips were on yours.

You knew the scent, knew the strength of the body as Joel Miller pressed himself against you, groaning and licking into your lips.

You hands are in his hair, tugging at the curls of black and grey as you let him feel all your body, his arms caging you in and hand dragging down and down and-

"That was three minutes, sweet girl," Joel’s beard scratched your neck as he dragged his lips over your pulse.

You hold back a moan. The music in the bar was loud and the only people coming this way were the ones looking for a quick piss. Still you wanted nobody to stop this. "Wanted to give you a chance."

He nodded into your neck, biting the skin and winning a gasp from you. Joel tilted his head back, searching your gaze that only saw him. "Tell me you want this."

You nod. "I want it."

His hand cupped your cheek, thumb dragging down your bottom lip. He watched, entranced. "You’d let me down anything, wouldn’t you?" He whispered, looking as if he wasn’t all there. That some part of his mind was already fucking you against the wall.

You lower your head until you can reach the pad of his thumb, kissing the tip. "I want it."

"Oh, fuck baby," he groaned, pushing the pad of his thumb further into your mouth. Promises of things to come. "You’re gonna kill me sweet girl."

Your hand ran down his stomach until it meant the tightness of his pants and running up and down until you could feel the press of his length in your palm.

Joel indulged for a minute. His thumb in the warmth of his mouth while your other hand rubbed him right. Then he snapped back into reality as the door banged on the wall.

Not there.

Against himself, he took his thumb from you and grabbed your wrist, alerting you.

"I need your word that if we do this, Sarah doesn’t find out," he said sternly.

You chuckled. "Well I’m hardly gonna tell her I screwed her dad, am I?"

"Hey," he held one finger in front of your face, defying your smirk. "Your word, little miss, or I can drop you off home and you can watch while I take care of the problem you created."

You gulped. Maybe for a moment you forgot it was Mr Miller you were affronted with. Quickly, you nodded your head.

"Good girl," he surged forward and sucked on the bottom of your lip, his hips digging into yours. He groaned as you ground on him, nails digging into his biceps. "Feel wha’ you do to me, huh? You know how many times I’ve had to fuck my own fist and think of you?"

You practically melt at his words, leaning back into the wall. "Joel… please."

"Please what? Huh?" he taunted, rutting his clothed hips into your own, biting down on his lip as you threw your head back, moaning at the sensation. "C'mon, tell me what you want. Be a good girl and say it."

"I want you to fuck me," you whispered.

Joel scoffed. He left his hips against yours. He tutted. "I'm an old man, darlin', you're gonna have to speak up."

"Fuck me!" you all but screamed, desperation turning you into a mess.

Joel grabbed your hand and started to drag you from the alleyway, searching around as if his daughter might pop up out of nowhere.

You couldn't care less, didn't think about the group of friends you were leaving, or the guy that wanted you. Your hand circled over Joel's stomached t shirt, nails scratching as you leant into his side, lips marking up his neck.

"Fuck, baby," Joel groaned as he searched in his pocket for his keys. You joined the search, your fingers searching all around the dent in his jeans. "Fucking desperate, aren't you, huh?"

"Can't wait, Joel," you whisper in his ear, lips brushing, shivers running down his spine as you squeezed his crotch. "Please baby."

Joel grunted. He was practically shaking with the need to fuck you, to feel you against him. To have his hands wander all over you and memorise the way you moaned under him. There was so much more he wanted. Wanted to have you scream, wanted your neck bruised with his love and his back to carry the scratches from you.

He just needed.

"Fuck," he couldn't believe he was being so reckless. Couldn't believe that with a kiss and a grope you had rendered him a horny teenager. "Get in the back, babygirl."

He held open the door and practically pushed you in, climbing over you.

You jumped into his lap as soon as the door slammed shut and Joel chucked his keys somewhere to the front. Your lips worked against his, claiming it as yours and invading an unknown territory. You moaned as his tongue ran against yours and sucked it into his own mouth.

His hands were warm and large as they gripped your ass harshly, a soft slap echoing around his truck.

"You gonna let me slide my fingers into your pussy, baby?" he asked against your lips.

You moaned.

"Hey!" he grabbed your chin, pulling you back to stare at him. Your lips were already red and swollen. "You gotta talk to me baby. You want my fingers? Say yes."

"Yes please," you say, catching your breath. Your chest felt heavy, your pussy throbbing. "Please, want your fingers."

Joel smirked, finger tips brushing under the band of your skirt. "So polite."

The space at the back of his truck was small and cramped but he'd be lying if he hadn't thought about this. Hadn't thought about you in the back of his truck, cock stuffed down your throat or his face buried in your thighs.

All those times he'd taken you back, it had never been as innocent as he would let on.

But having you in his lap, begging for it, practically drooling with just his words, he had a feeling you weren't as innocent as you'd always made out to be.

Joel let the elastic of your skirt slap into place, causing you to jolt into him. As you jolted, he used the leverage of your hips to pull your skirt up and feel under you. "Jesus baby- you're soaked."

His finger slid up the cloth of your panties, collecting the dampness and smearing it.

You gasp as he presses into your pussy, pushing the cloth into you. "Joel please, I asked so nice."

"You did, sweet girl, you did," he nodded, watching as your eyes squeezed shut. "Hey- eyes on me baby, right here." He gently slapped the under part of your chin to get you to look at him as he easily hooked your panties to the side and sunk a finger in.

You hum out a moan, head tilted back.

Joel found the crevice of your neck, dragging his beard against the soft skin and relishing in the red that bloomed. "You like it? You like my fingers inside your heat? God, you're so warm."

"Like it," you nod, eyes shutting again.

Joel groaned low in his throat as he grabbed your chin and forced your forehead against his. "You keep your eyes on me, you understand me. Or i'll drop you off home. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mr Miller."

"Oh-" Joel sunk his ring finger in until he was knuckle deep. "You're so good for me."

You tighten around the feel of his fingers. He's barely curling them and already you're squirming at the sound of your own slick.

"Ride my fingers, babygirl, gowan' now."

Obediently you started to move, riding his hand. His rough palm moved with you. His mouth remained open in a small 'o' as you wither against him, moaning.

Joel couldn't help the filth that spilled from his mouth. But with every clench you gave around his fingers, you didn't seem to mind.

"So good for me... such a good girl,"

"Dirty too, riding me in the back of the truck you and Sarah ride in."

"Fuck, i've dreamt of this, you look so good with my fingers stuffed inside of you."

At his encouragement you grip his shoulders, moving faster until your skirt is ridging up your hips and the little wisps of your hair are sticking to your forehead from sweat.

His thumb pressed down on your puffy and begging clit.

"Shit- ah- fuck!"

Joel's hips involuntarily bucked up to yours. "You wanna cum, sweet girl?"

You bite down on your lip, nodding and looking at where his forearm- taunt and veiny- disappeared under you.

Joel rested his head next to yours, kissing the sweat at your neck. "Tough baby, you're so dirty. Dirty girls have to do a lot of waiting till they get their reward."

Slowly, he retracts his fingers.

"Look at all this mess," he tutted, looking at how his fingers glistened with your need. He pats your hips, "up."

You fall onto the seat next to him, legs spread and head resting back on the car door.

You watch as Joel lifts his hips, un-buckling his belt as he starts to pull off his boxers and jeans. Your foot danced over to his lap but he impatiently pushes it away.

"You want to cum, don't you?" he asked, sending you a dark look. His hand grabs your ankle as you nod and kisses the bare skin above your heel. "Then behave."

The hand that you had just been riding wrapped around his cock and brought it out.

Your mouth opened as you stared at the beauty of the thing. He was big, bigger than you'd seen and bigger than you'd dare dreamed. He shone with pre-cum and your arousal as he spread what was on his fingers. His hand worked himself up and down as he relaxed back in his seat.

He looked over at you. "Eyes up here, baby."

Your gaze flicked up to him. "So pretty, Joel."

He chuckled and tugged himself. "Always knew you'd like it. God, you've no idea the things i've dreamt."

"Tell me. Please."

Joel leaned his head back, moving up and down his length slowly as he re-called every filthy dream his mind conjured. "Your hands wrapping around me. Your mouth being so warm and wet as you fuckin' choke on it. God, bet your throat's not used to a man's cock, huh? Only used to boys, ain't that right?"

He opened his eyes, peeking at you.

You'd dared closer to him, leaning over. You nodded.

"Bet that kid in there was hoping you'd give him a chance," he went on, his other hand coming up and thumb and forefinger tugging at your chin. "He didn't stand a chance as soon as you saw me, did he?"

You shake your head, shuffling closer into his side.

He jerked your head toward him. "Answer me."

"Only want you, Joel," you tell him.

You lick your lips, eyes darting from him to his leaking cock. The tip was red, begging for attention. "Can I- Can I please?"

Joel stroked back your hair. "Go on then, baby. Have a play." He stretched his arms along the back of the truck and watched to see you move.

But Joel quickly realised you didn't come around to play.

You'd always seemed so innocent- so un-knowing- when you looked after Sarah, when you helped him clean down the kitchen, when he'd offer you lifts back or to stay over you'd always blush and lower your head.

You were lowering it now, throwing your hair back over your shoulder and holding the base of him.

First, you touch him with your lips lightly and he smiles, daring not to think this might be the only time he lets you touch him like this. Your lips are so pretty and pink, swollen and wet from kissing him as you drag them along the sides.

Then you pepper kisses along the skin and start moving your hand around the base.

"You really gonna tease me?"

"Wanna take my time," you mumble into his though, kissing the skin.

Next, your hand cups his balls that were heavy with need. He wasn't exaggerating, it had been years since his last good fuck and no amount of jerking himself off to the thought of you could satisfy him. As your fingers played with his balls, rolling them around and giving them warmth and attention they craved, you made out with the tip of his cock.

You collected his pre-cum with your lips and tongue while still fondling him.

He could feel his shirt stick to him, his chest rising and falling quicker. Shittin-fuck. How was he supposed to last if this was what you were giving him?

"Easy, baby, easy," he eased you, stroking back your hair.

He knew you heard cause you were smirking then opening your mouth and taking him deep, almost all the way in one.

Joel groaned and grabbed the door. "Shit-ah-"

He didn't care if he wasn't far from the bar. Didn't care if anyone tried to get a look in through the fogging up windows. He didn't care if Tommy came by and applauded him for getting his dick wet. All he cared for was the feel of your wet mouth all the way down him, spit drooling down his cock.

You were doing so well and he wanted you to know.

"You wanna take me deep, huh?" he grunted, clutching onto your hair and holding you down. You gagged around him. He chuckled. "I'm not even all the way in there. You got room for more?"

You dragged your mouth up, taking a deep breath and nodding. You wiped your mouth from the mess you made and went in again.

This time, you took him again and again, deeper, bobbing him in your throat until he was a grunting and groaning mess. His hips moved of their own accord, shoving himself in even when there was nowhere else to go.

But the sounds of gagging, of his balls slapping against his own thighs as he moved, of the moans coming out of you were enough to almost having him finishing in your mouth. Almost.

He wanted to, boy did he, but he wouldn't, not until your cunt had swallowed him.

Joel pulled you up, letting you release him with a pop. "Want to be inside, need to be inside."

The truck wasn't the best place but it was the only place he had for you. He wished he could give you a bed, give your hours to welcome him, but Joel needed like he'd never needed. He imagined this is what starvation was, having your treat dangled in front of you.

And you were moving with him, lying down on the back seats, legs accommodating him as he slid in between you.

Joel gently pulled down your panties and stuffed them in the back of his pocket. If he was gonna have to jerk himself off to thoughts of you again, having your soaked panties was the least he deserved.

He glanced down at your swollen pussy and salivated.

Your hand trailed down, circling your clit as you moaned at the time he was taking.

Joel grabbed your wrist, bringing it up to his mouth and nipped at the skin. "Only I get to touch, yeah, babygirl?"

"Yes," you answered, breathless.

Joel loomed over you, bringing the tip of his leaking cock to smear himself over your folds. "Tommy told me somethin' real interestin'. Ask me what?"

"I don't- I don't care about Tommy, right now," you grab his shoulders, trying to pull him forward.

"He tol' me-" Joel strained, his lips brushing yours. It wasn't just your torture he wad delivering. It was his own. "He said people go to that bar to get fucked. Is that why you were there?"

For a moment you seemed shocked to hear it. Then the palm of your hand held his cheek, running over the stubble.

"Worked, didn't it?" you teased.

Joel sunk into you with ease. "Yeah."

He hid his face in your neck as you arched your back into him. 'Take it, take it,' he spoke into your skin, tattooing the words there.

"Joel-" you gasped, holding onto his back. "Fuck!"

"You're ok, baby. You're ok, babygirl," his breath was short. He needed to feel you more, the half way in wasn't enough. "Fuck, you grip me so well."

You gasp, holding him in you. "Need-need more."

"I dunno baby, you think you got it?" he teased.

"Yes, yes."

"What have I said about speaking up?"

You groan, throwing your head back on the seat. "Fuck me, please Joel!"

With a grunt loud enough to be heard outside, Joel sunk further into you. 'Shit, yeah.... fuck,' spilled from his lips as he slowly took himself out of you before sinking in all the way again.

"You feel me?" asked Joel. He held himself up over you because he'd be damned if he wasn't gonna watch you fall apart on his dick.

"Feel it, feel you everywhere," you mumble.

You really did. You felt the soft seats of his truck, smelt him everywhere. The smell of old cologne, cigarettes (though you were sure he didn't smoke) and new wood. It wasn't just his cock sinking into you but his voice as he mumbled filthy things in your ear. His hand dragged down your face, gripping your neck. Not tight enough to cut airways but tight enough to make you squeeze him.

He stuttered, "sh-shit. If you do that again I won't last," he told you. "And I want you to come first."

"Then fuck me Joel," you said, looking up at him.

Joel looked down to where he disappeared into you. You were already rocking your hips into his, desperate for something- anything. His hand pushed back some of your hair as he stared at you with something more than need. Desire. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Wasn't it? Wasn't it everything you wanted since he first laid a hand on your shoulder and led you into his home, welcoming you to his life. "Yes."

His thumb dragged out your bottom lip before his lips were smashing onto yours, wet and sloppy as his thrusts increased.

He moved his hips in and out rapidly, giving you no more time to adjust. It wasn't long before he had to release your lips to breathe.

"Ah- shit!" you yelled.

"That's it baby, be as loud as you like. Let the whole fucking street know who's fucking you," he panted. His hands were at your neck, holding the both of you steady.

"Joel!"

"Shit! You feel so good!"

Joel tugged down your top, not in the mood to care if it rips. It's not like he was letting you back in that bar. He pulled out your tits and latched onto them like a child, nipping at the nipple.

Your hand winds itself in his hair, pulling at the roots and throwing your body into his. You could feel his cock stretch you, the pain mixing delightfully with the pleasure. With every thrust he tipped you closer and closer onto the ledge and as his warm, wet mouth sucked on your nipple, the other hand squeezing and playing with the other, you knew it would be the best orgasm of your life.

"I'm gonna, arg-"

Joel licked around your nipple. "Not yet."

"Joel!"

"Hold it!"

He pushed himself up, holding onto the back of the seats as he used the position to put a foot on the ground and fuck into you harder.

The windows were steamed, your bodies slick with sweat.

The truck was fucking shaking at how hard he was moving you.

You threw a hand out behind you to hold onto the door, bracing yourself as you rocked your body into his.

Joel threw his head back, his neck stretching you and tempting you. "Best fucking pussy out there. And I've been wasting you as a babysitter."

"Yours," you mumble. He hadn't even asked and you were giving him the promise.

His lips tilted into a lobsided smirk as he leaned closer to you. "You mine, huh? All mine? My girl, my pussy?"

"Yes," you nod.

For a minute you can only hear your breaths with the sound of his hips slapping into yours.

Joel's fingers dig into your thighs and bring your leg up to wrap around his waist. "Mine," he all but growled into your chest, nipping at the skin. "Show me. Show me you're mine. Cum."

He thrusted into you hard, his thumb holding your stomach down and playing with your clit until you were coming all over his cock. 'That's it baby... all over me.... there's a good girl.... keep coming,'

Joel fucked you throughout. He had his own finish to reach but watching you fall apart, your mouth open in a silent gasp as your fingers claw into his shoulders.

He cupped your chin, smiling down at you. "You gonna help an old man out?"

You were in no state to, coming down from your highest high.

Joel cupped your ass and lifted you from the seats that were slowly soaking in both of yours juices. "Ah-" he yelled out at the new angle he was reaching, his balls heavy hitting your pussy. "Yeah- there- just there baby."

"Joel!" you yell. "S'to much."

"No it's not," he shook his head. His eyes were screwed up as sweat rolled down his cheeks. "You can take it. You know you can."

Your pussy was throbbing, squeezing him so intensely you didn't know how he was still moving.

You bit down on your lip as you watched him concentrating hard. You test the waters, wrapping your legs around his waist until your entire lower body was in his weight.

"Fuck!" Joel's jaw clenched as he looked down at you, his fingertips digging into the skin of your soft thighs until he was sure bruises would be there for only him to see. "I'm gonna... shit- Where you want it?"

"Inside, please," you mewl.

Joel looked at you, danger in his eyes. "No, baby, we can't."

You nod and squeeze his hips. "I'm on the pill."

The words were heaven to his ears.

You squeeze around him and Joel yelled out, falling atop you as he spilled out inside of you.

"Take it! Take it! Fucking let me- let me in!" he yelled, hips stuttering as he fell into you. One of your legs remained around him but the other he let drop, holding it weakly.

You were sure you were still coming down from your high as his hips stuttered on yours. You could feel every drop of him smear on your pussy and leak out.

Then Joel's fingers danced around the space his cock was softening in you, pushing it all back in.

His brows rose as he looked down, a shaking laugh coming out. "I-"

You didn't want to hear the words that came after. The regret. The 'we shouldn't have' or 'think about Sarah'. You just wanted this moment of feeling held and cared for by Joel to last a little longer.

Your lips move against his slowly, tasting the salt of sweat from the both of you on there.

He didn't push you away, he just held his lips close to yours, in small and attentive brushes. "How do you feel?" he whispered, pulling back enough to look around your eyes.

"Good," you nod, "real fucking good."

Joel chuckled and looked down. Slowly, as not to hurt you, he pulled out.

You moaned at the sudden emptiness in you, lying there to catch your breath and so you didn't have to prepare for regret in his face.

But it seemed regret was the last thing on Joel's mind.

He had no idea what kind of animal was possessing him or just how far his need went. But when he fell back against the door, listening out to the low drum from the bar, he saw your swollen cunt. Red and white. Red from how hard he'd fucked you and white from the mixture of you and him.

Something growled inside of him- maybe it was him- but before either of you understood what was happening, Joel lunged back in and spread your thigs, diving in.

You lurched up onto your elbows, looking down at him. You could see the top of his hair, his eyes closed and you could feel his nose moving around you and nudging you. "Joel, what are you- holy-"

Joel hummed into your pussy. It was heaven on his tongue, dripping into him. So sweet and all you. He'd never felt closer to a person before. Never felt such a need. He was slobbering like a damn dog over your pussy.

"What the fuck have you done to me, huh," he'd pulled back only enough so you could understand his words.

Neither of you were sure if he was talking to you or what laid between your legs.

He opened up your pussy and went in, tongue fucking into you. He was caught between wanting to push his spill back into you and eating you out till you were dry.

"Joel!" you screamed, voice breaking. "You-you can't-"

"I fucking can," he snarled. His face was being pushed into your cunt as he shook it, smearing both of you all over him.

There was nothing you could say or do before your legs trembled and you came all over his beard and lips. You didn't know what to do, whether to push him off you or pull you closer.

Joel held your hips into his mouth and groaned as he took in everything you gave him.

Every flick of his tongue had you shaking. Every time he gripped your thighs you made a noise of pleasure.

Hours might have passed since he first discovered heaven between your thighs before he pulled himself out.

His face was wet with you. It was sinful and like nothing you could ever imagine. "Look at what you've fucking done to me."