zeugs undso

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

EMBRACE PROFOUND PLATONIC DEVOTION

From the bottom of my heart: im not sorry for anything i put on yalls dash, i am my own target audience and i find my taste immaculate but thank u for witnessing 💕

I’ve got that neglected dog stare

“what time do you get off?” well that’s not really any of your business now is it

Messing up my customer service hotline job and playing a gunshot sound effect over the phone then coming back with a slightly different accent

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

This is the only correct way

there's like a thousand ways for a shower to work and you wouldn't even imagine half of them until you have to take a shower at a new place

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

i always see “tag fav fruit” posts but i’ve never seen a fav veg post so rb & tag your favourite vegetable

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

cool and awesome people are supposedly calling me “my friend”

(stumbling out of the document covered in blood) ok i wrote 100 words

es regnet einfach.... [turns mysteriously Elternteil-shaped] Das hat die Natur gebraucht. 😃

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.