the vile rot loves you

Pre-show, pre-doors including VIP details (skip to the pre-show or even the show if you want but do come back for this because I think it’s worth it):

I depart Pittsburgh around 6:30am and arrive in Baltimore around 11 with minimal difficulty other than the surprisingly aggro drivers in the last hour (the city itself was fine though!). I booked a parking garage next door to my hotel, which was subsequently a couple short blocks from the venue. Thank goodness everything was close because I’m pretty sure that could have royally fucked my day with the heat.

First challenge: I don’t know what the line situation is going to be. So I change in the car with the assumption that I might need to be at the venue for possibly hours before getting a wristband, but (correctly) guessing that once I had a wristband I’d be able to fuck off to the hotel until our reporting time. Four stories underground, in sweltering heat. I am drenched and I’m not even out of the garage yet. I get a little turned around leaving the garage but eventually point myself in the right direction and arrive at the venue. There’s a small GA line - about fifteen people - and probably thrice that waiting for VIP (but for all VIP tiers combined because at this point it’s not important which one you have). Buses are lined up at the curb unloading merch and who knows what else. 

Immediately after I arrive we are treated to Vanessa arriving at the venue with her assistant/cameraman/security guy(?). She’s not on duty yet and wearing sparkly black track pants and a tank top because it is hot as BALLS. I was taking a photo for someone with a ghoul cosplayer and she jumped into the shot before they could even ask. I fangirled (gn) for a moment and we all told her how much she’s loved and appreciated, and that we’re glad she came to the US. She said she’d be back later and hustled inside to get ready.

By then the VIP line was moving! Bless the VIP company because they wisely saw a bunch of people out in the baking boiling heat unnecessarily and had a plan to minimize it. Within 20 minutes or so I had my wristband (Anointed 28 - Clergy effectively get treated as Anointed for all pre-show purposes) and had a new problem.

I wasn’t expecting to get through that part of the process so quickly - and my hotel doesn’t do check-in until 4. Whoops. So I find a semi shady spot to sit and chug my water down and try to cool off while I think. I call the hotel to try to find out if early check-in is possible but it goes to a central customer service line and they can’t actually get through to the front desk at my actual hotel. They suggest just checking at the front desk.

Which is great and all but I’m in pretty much full concert getup at this point and also I am a red sweaty drenched mess, and I happened to end up with a room at one of the fanciest hotels in the immediate area (my credit card has a weird selection of hotels to book with points). But I don’t really have options, so I guess I’ll try. So haul up the next block and go inside the main entrance… which is an empty lobby with no desk in sight? But also blissfully air conditioned and full of inviting looking chairs. So obviously I sit down and try to look unobtrusive so at least I won’t be quite so disheveled when I eventually figure out where the front desk is actually located.

I’m sitting there for maybe 30 minutes or so, feeling a bit recovered, and thinking about all those folks stuck in GA. Impulsively, I place an order for doordash to have a bunch of bottles of gatorade delivered to the line, which feels like a small thing I can do for fellow fans. I throw a nice fat tip on since the delivery person is gonna be juggling an awkward load.

Stop for a second and think to yourself, if you were hot and sweaty and a bit rumpled and looking out of place, who’s the last person you’d want to show up in that moment? Keeping in mind the context of this post, of course.

No, it wasn’t Tobias. Thank fuck. I would have died on the spot I’m pretty sure.

First of all I’m staring at my phone when I see a guy walk past me a couple feet away and I notice the really nice looking guitar case he’s carrying. And then as he peers out the lobby doors, I realize what the fuck I’m looking at. It was mister fucking could be a goddamn cover model Rain Ghoul (I’ll use stage names because some folks prefer to keep it a mystery!), seven feet tall, all legs and the broadest fucking shoulders and perfect clothes and hair and face. Of fucking course it is.

I peek as much as I dare trying to get my brain to parse what’s happening. He’s wearing the same Pirates hat that I remember noticing in pics on his insta and also in the end-of-EU-tour photo. I’m brave enough to look in his direction (but not in his eyes, what am I - neurotypical?) and quirk one eyebrow and give the tiniest finger salute. “Yes, I see you and I know you but I’ll be cool. Thanks for being you.” I don’t wait to see if he acknowledges it. He walks back toward the elevators for a moment and then comes back to sit directly across from me in this not-quite-a-hallway-not-quite-a-lobby, luggage and bass in tow. And company.

Sorry, I’m going to pause and rewind a bit here. I need to give you some more backstory. 

I’m not actually sorry.

The day before the show, Vanessa posted a photo to her instagram of her in her hotel room. Me, being an idiot who likes to be a detective on the internet, was like shit man, I bet you can figure out where they’re staying based on that (WHICH IS WHY IT IS A BAD IDEA TO BE CLEAR). Which I then proceeded to do. And I sighed in relief because, and I said to two of my friends, “no one wants to be in your shlubby 3am getting a snack clothes and have a surprise Mountain Ghoul on the other side of the elevator doors.” And the hotel she was in was not my hotel - it was next door! Which is ideal from my perspective - maybe you’re alert and observant and see someone, and maybe you don’t and that’s fine. You don’t get your hopes up but maybe some magic happens.

So anyway. You can probably guess what happens next.

Goddamn Mountain Ghoul. Yes. It actually takes me a moment of going “oh shit what if this is the new guy?!” (put a pin in that please) because he had his back to me and they were talking quietly enough that I couldn’t actually hear his voice clearly at all. But then I catch the side profile of his face and proceed to start shitting my pants and messaging some friends on Discord to scream silently since obviously I must Play It Cool here.

Fun facts: Mountain wears his backpack on both shoulders like a properly ergonomic ghoul should. His hair is floppy in that nice boyish way and more red than I realized!. I also realize that Mountain wears a lot of cologne. It’s pleasant but the throw is ridiculous.

Well - he’s a drummer and we all know just how sweaty our dirt boy is. Whomst among us.

I gather from the tiny bits of conversation I can legitimately overhear without trying to pay attention that they’re waiting for a ride to the venue and it’ll be there in about ten minutes. Rain and Mountain go to look out the doors again. I hear them exclaim, “There you are!” and the Snoopy lover himself, one Dewdrop Ghoul, motors through the lobby at a truly impressive pace for someone who broke his foot like three months ago. No boot or cane in sight. Yes, he was wearing a black tshirt and black adidas track pants. 

My hands are sweaty. My knees’ status is unknown because my ass is staying the fuck in this chair until this scene plays out fully and conclusively.

Mountain wanders off not to be seen again by me until the curtain drops, leaving his luggage behind for his bandmates to deal with later (really).

My phone rings.

It’s the doordash delivery guy (gn) who needs a better explanation of my delivery instructions. Right. I’d totally forgotten about that in the wake of the mudslide in my vicinity (did you see what I did there?).

So - with Rain fully in earshot and no longer distracted by his drummer friend - I explain. There’s a concert and people who are going to be waiting around in the sun all day. Look for the people in costumes with umbrellas and pass around the drinks to anyone who wants one. Task accomplished - great! Thank you so much.

I try not to die or even look at Rain. I stare at my phone. I look up and now there are two new people joining him. A lady I know I don’t know (my first thought was Aurora of course but definitely not) and a kinda middle-aged dude, big broad shoulders, thick in the chest and belly with smaller legs and cute little feet in converse. Has some kind of black bag that isn’t definitely luggage but isn’t obviously gear like a guitar case. Looks like a high school history teacher or the data analyst in the corner cubicle. Just a guy. I do think to myself, having just wondered if Mountain was the new guy before recognizing him, could it be…? He doesn’t look like their usual security type.

I don’t have a ton of time to analyze the data further because of the arrival of Phantom Ghoul and his similarly nice guitar case and other belongings, which is quickly followed by the end of that ten minutes, apparently - their ride is here and the group gathers up all their accumulated baggage (even Mountain’s, they’re so kind to each other!) and exits the lobby. 

Might as well see how this plays out at this point - the numbers are in my favor, I’m pretty sure. And sure enough, our stunning lioness on the keys is also hauling ass for the bus. I feel brave enough to shoot her a grin for reasons that cannot be named. Followed a minute later by a lady ghoul who, well, would you believe her name went right out of my head just now. You know who I mean.

I know Dewdrop is still upstairs so I’m gonna hang for a little longer and yep - here he comes. Zooming right along. His guitar case is on wheels!

I linger a little longer - I really should go ask about checking in - hoping that maybe, just maybe, I can get a full bingo. But the universe said not today - and that was more than okay. What an incredible treat that was. I wonder if any of them will recognize me, later. I wonder if Rain will think about the gentle doofus who wanted to do something nice for people who were so dedicated to the Ritual.

—

Okay, thank you for indulging me in my pre-show silliness. The number of sheer coincidences that had to line up for this entire thing to have happened at all is a little ridiculous. I wanted to commemorate that in an equally ridiculous way. Moving on!

—

Let’s get this moving as I’ve already written way more than I planned to and I know most people are probably here for show notes anyway!

VIP pre-show:

Pretty well organized and I expect it will only get better from here! If anyone wants to send Asks I’d be happy to answer specific questions instead of spending a ton of time on the tiny details in this post.

The museum was incredible. And also suitably spooky. I didn’t think it would be as strange to stand next to fake corpses that felt so perfectly real - I’ve seen them on youtube a million times by now! - but it was honestly bizarre in a perfect way. I wish everyone could have the experience because it sets the tone so well.

I saw the red suit and the white suit and paid them suitable (ha) admiration. He’s so goddamn fucking tiny you guys. Kind of obsessed with the Plague Ghoul costume. Would make and wear. Might just.

I’m pretty sure the Prequelle ghoul uniform on display is Dewdrop’s because it’s just so little all over. But the shoes are hilariously big especially in juxtaposition so I’m gonna assume Mountain - they were probably in the best condition considering how little they got worn, right?!

I GOT TO SIT IN THE CONFESSIONAL - I’ll be honest I don’t know if it’s the exact one from the Satanized video because it has a kneeler on the side that faces the camera and I’m pretty sure that isn’t there, but it could also be Hollywood magic or whatever. They have a photo booth app thing set up. I took a very bad photo that I now have the opportunity to turn into a Bit because I’m gonna do this five more times. Send suggestions.

If you, like me, bought a standing VIP thing and they give you a little slip at a certain point in the process that has a seat number on it - do not panic like I did (but only a tiny amount)! It’s merely a quirk of some venues’ ticketing software. Talk to one of the VIP staff (not the venue but the VIP part specifically) if you’re worried, they’re all lovely.

I met @torjlou torjou because she had the wristband number directly after mine! I recognized that battle vest immediately. We had a good time talking to the girls in line behind us who were best friends after meeting at a Ghost show away from home and then learning they were practically neighbors!

Going into the arena itself was extremely surreal - the curtain is grand and imposing in direct opposition to the gauzy curtain of Impera’s era. Make of that what we will.

Richie was posted at the entry to the standing area. There’s a section for seated floor behind that, and in front of the sound booth.

The only other fans in the area at this point are the Apostles - filling in the center barricade area. They made sure everyone walked to their spot but at Anointed 28 of probably 60(?) I only barely snagged a spot at barricade, and way off to the side at that.

But nevertheless, the spot directly in front of the raised platform at stage left (your right, for non theater and stage kids), the spot where the Mummy Dust cannon would be wheeled directly next to - but I get ahead of myself - was mine.

The wait

The environment was very chill. I immediately sat down and leaned back against the barricade. Eventually I’d say about half the folks on my side of that center peninsula of the stage were sitting. Chatting, enjoying the air conditioning and being off our feet. Trading trinkets - one fan brought teeny tiny ghosts with BMORE RITUAL 25 on the bottom!

I started talking to my neighbors - who were both absolutely lovely! One had been to both Forum shows, and the other was a Ritual virgin like me. Her dad eventually came in with the Ascended seated group and they waved to each other excitedly. 

The vibes were good and the people-watching unparalleled as the crowd gradually filtered in. I check my watch and time my edible appropriately. I let people pass around the Ghildo a little bit and everyone is entertained.

A loud cheer goes up from the other side of the barricade at about 7:45 - we all hop to our feet and here’s Vanessa, now Ritual Ready! They go back and forth a bit with the camera and then eventually come down the line - turns out this was an instagram live (link), and she interviewed my barricade buddy who was at her first show and was dressed very beautifully as a Sister of Sin. 

https://www.facebook.com/namelessghouls/videos/1040311774923690/

Vanessa has a set of glamorous new dresses and also wears extremely practical black sparkly skechers. A true icon.

So when you see your gentle doofus in the sparkly hand-rhinestoned flomask and “FUCK YOU” hat, make sure to wait until you see the neon purple ghildo clasped lovingly in their hands as the camera passes by and know that I waved it proudly throughout the night for all of you.

The show

Turns out that a giant rainstorm dumping on the line (oops - VIP got in before it started) means that people don’t have enough time to get to their seats to start on time.

A guy from the local radio station comes out and addresses us? I think for a moment they’ve hired some kind of audience warm-up act in place of an opener but he seems to be trying to stall without actually saying there’s a delay or anything. I dunno, it was odd and kind of pointless as far as I could tell.

As we listened to the pretty pre-show songs loop while we waited for folks to get into seats, a bunch of folks suddenly appeared to help with the curtain drop. They didn’t look like techs but were maybe other workers from the venue team? Anyway one of the women mentions that they started building the stage on Monday. Interesting bit of trivia for you.

At this point the curtain looks like it’s breathing. Wild shit.

It’s 8:06. We overhear Richie and one of the stage managers (guy with big beard that’s not Jesus) say “five minutes” from the far edge of the curtain.

As I’m looking that direction, I see a slightly tallish young man with a familiar shade of dark blonde hair and a face and build that’s similar but not quite the same as his father’s (“-- his father”) walking towards the seated area behind the pit and quickly peer ahead of him, confirming - a shorter, blonder young lady, preceded by a woman with dark brown hair: The Family Forge.

Yes - the twins and Mrs. Ghost were in attendance! How many Ghost and Ghost-adjacent people can one person manage to be in exactly the right place at the right time (right here right now) for in one day, truly?

It’s past 8:11 but finally it happens. The lights dim. The music stops. The crowd collectively breathes with the curtain as the gentle and familiar tones of the Peacefield intro break the hush.

I realize quickly that I am going to have a pretty bad spot for sound - taking out my ear protection momentarily just to make sure - but so it goes. 

Bright white lights shine through the curtain, shooting sharp beams through the gashes in the material. It’s actually a lot of different types of material - tulle, crepe perhaps, lots of things - including some kind of silky one that has an iridescent pink sheen.

There’s something Papa says about introducing Ghost - but it’s muffled. And then the music crescendos and I stare directly up, anticipating - the curtain drops.

It’s dizzying. Disorienting. It’s perfect.

The lights flash bright and suddenly here we are. Hundreds of photos from April and May carefully hoarded, cataloged, and studied, appreciated and admired, imagined. It’s all real.

It actually looks smaller than I imagined it.

Well that’s a surprise. Perhaps I have a big imagination! This is not a complaint. 

Who has time to think about that when suddenly there is an endless parade of ghoul (Hi again Dew. Hello Rain, fancy meeting you here. Oh, bug - never change your bendy antics) and light and sound and him. Papa. 

Papa reaching his arms over his head exposing a goodly triangle of the side of his torso via the scooped hem of his silky black shirt. Goodness. That’s not an angle we’ve gotten to see yet. Some benefits to being directly off to Papa’s side, I suppose.

I notice two things almost immediately once I’m able to stop staring at this surprise treat.

One: that Dew is still wearing the boot despite looking completely recovered at the hotel. Fair enough. It’s probably a good way to keep him from autopilot stomping his poor foot into oblivion out of habit. And a good reminder about disabilities, even temporary ones. <3

Two: that the mystery man of the hotel is, indeed, our new Ghoul. This fact is distracting for several songs. I am possibly one of very few or even a singular fan who knows what he looks like at this particular moment in time, though not who he is. Who the band may have realized knows this due to the earlier hotel shenanigans. Huh.

Because of this, the show takes a few songs to settle for me. I want to try to remember the EU setlist (which I’ve got down pretty well) and note what changes, but I know I won’t remember this. I’m worried I won’t remember much at all, that it will all vanish into ectoplasm the moment I walk out the door. I’m shocked at how much I remember. Which is why you’re getting this brick.

It also takes me a while to reconcile how different the experience is from watching fan footage and RHRN because boy howdy there were a couple months this year where that was my coping mechanism. Where people (generally) know where the “good stuff” is going to happen already and plan for it when they film. Or when an editor picks all the perfect antics for you. Or even for more familiar songs - where you know to look to see Dew choke Rain during Year Zero (yep) or watch Papa annihilate some doofus in the audience through the power of his mummy thrust (also yep). 

But I find myself placing the humble mode of transportation ahead of the equine responsible for its locomotion. Patience. I am not making you a snack, a nosh, tea, a meal, or even a feast. I am making you an entire goddamn Ghostified banquet complete with those little chocolate fountains, a guy that’ll make you an omelet, and an open bar. Take a break, get a drink, have a drug (if that’s your bag), go do your chores or your job (or not, I’m not your boss) and come back. I’m not going anywhere.

Spirit concludes - I’m a bit surprised but happy to hear it stuck around. Maybe Phantom did a bit here? 

At any rate, we’re suddenly launched into the first musical surprise of the evening - not heard since 2019 during the Cardinal’s reign - Per Aspera Ad Inferi. One of my favorites from Infestissumam. I turn to my neighbors in disbelief - is this really happening? It is. It really is.

It’s awesome. I start to get lost in the sauce. 

Things are gonna get more subject-oriented from here and less sequential (A LIE, they edit in, belatedly) because I may not have any clue what song a particular interaction happened during. It is what it is.

Ghoul stuff

Dew, on his first sojourn to the higher platform, spots the blackriver patch on my vest and points rapidly between us a couple times nodding his head

(sidenote/fun fact: I never realized he’s got two sets of pedals! One at the top of the steps and one at the bottom. Which: oops)

Rain, tall as he is, absolutely looms in the most majestic of ways when he’s up on the big platform. He visits quite often and seems to spend a lot of time looking in my general direction - perhaps he remembers the Gatorade doofus after all.

Phantom is up here not quite as often as Rain but more than Dew, understandably. The usual antics - all legs and elbows and angles and head tilts. Our wonderful whimsical Bug. I’m pretty sure he danced with me twice - or at least, I was dancing when he came up and then he started grooving with me, so one assumes that’s what was happening.

My view of the back platforms is quite restricted - I can’t see Cirrus at all - but I can see enough to tell that the ghouls are in new spots vs. EU Skeletour! 

Our new gentleghoul is currently in the veil/headdress option, standing in Cumulus’ old spot now and is doing her piano / shaker / tambourine parts. He’s also doing Swiss’ backup vocals, so I think this is a new configuration for the band - but please tell me if I’m wrong!

Aurora has shifted back to her old spot - incidentally now snagging the Umbra cowbell part as she turns keys over to the new guy. For EU tour attendees - was the Papa lift on the Phantom or Dew side of the stage? I wondered if they moved the lift to the new ghoulette’s side since she took that over, and then hired a musician who necessitated reorganizing the stage.

The new ghoulette is now in Swiss’ old spot. It seems like she and Cirrus are close IRL so this makes sense somehow. And taking the stuff Swiss and Cumulus did and remixing it to different assignments probably feels better to everyone than literally just shoving new people into those spots with the same responsibilities as the ones they’re replacing (see: Aether/Phantom).

With this new lineup, Phantom keeps the acoustic guitar part for TFIAFL!

Year Zero

Year Zero hits so incredibly different live. 

First of all, the outfit is mesmerizing as many have noted. The construction of it is pretty much a dress and he gets so much mileage out of the way he moves it in - the tail of course, but even the way it drapes around his hips is just genuinely a masterpiece. Yes, I’m a costume nerd.

He still does the spin but I don’t think the lighting is the same so you don’t get the same effect - at least from where I was standing.

Dew and Rain both got in his way instead of just Rain.

Yes, we had the Raindrop choke. It was sensual - they both tilted their heads towards each other first - the tiniest foreplay - then leaning into each other as Dew wrapped his hand gently around Rain’s throat, almost hesitantly, before trailing his fingers down his chest and -

Sorry, where was i?

But what really REALLY stood out to me is how the climax of the song feels not just like a chant, but like an incantation. It’s the power of the audience’s belief and participation that summons those flames. And I never realized, until I was part of it. 

The heat coming off them is somehow both foreign and fascinating. It’s over in a flash but it’s so strong - a singular experience, I think (unless you are lucky enough to go many times of course).

Wow. This is when I was totally all in. Not just actively enjoying myself, the weird dissociation from the experience having passed, but completely engrossed.

Other songs/stuff that didn’t merit their own sections

Faith stuck around too - at this point I’m starting to wonder if we’re going to get any new Skeleta songs after all. I get distracted by ghouls and forget to pay attention to see if he says “motherfucker” or something.

Majesty: If this is Tobias he’s doing some phenomenal body acting with his arms and hands. I could only see him from the waist up unfortunately, but he’s got this weirdly jerky and yes robotic/cybernetic thing going on. Like he’s an animatronic. It’s freaky in a way that makes the song more interesting, honestly. 

SIDE NOTE: I start to wonder if he’s trying to show us a new story - the different Perpetuas we see are actually him at different points of a timeline? I don’t know. There’s something rattling around in there about this. The more formal and church-y he gets, the less fluid he gets. The more doctrine he sings, the more mechanically he moves. You can see it in Year Zero too. I don’t know what to make of this yet.

TFIAFL - we got the same little speech other folks have mentioned, or some version of it. Phantom holds up his fingers 2 - 3 - 4 during the “2034” lyric to help cue people for the change. He’s really magnificent with the crowd and seeing the most recent music video he put out for his solo project, you can tell. ;)

Cirice wasn’t hitting for me last night - I don’t know why. Still settling into the show, I think, and the audio quality was missed here, for me. He came to the stage left side of the peninsula and Cirice’d someone in that corner. I did notice his hand movement here is different than I remember. I’d love to put them all side by side from the different eras and compare.

I was also distracted by his costume - nothing new I don’t think, but that mask is SO sparkly. It’s unreal and almost unnerving. And I thought for a minute that maybe they added more rhinestone lines to his jacket to make it look less like pajamas, but it’s possible that I’ve just not seen the back of it before.

The new ghoul seemed to be doing something interesting here - one of the times I distinctly remember noticing his vocal probably because I think he did it differently from Swiss. I think he’s taking part of one of the chorus sections up an octave. It’s really pretty.

DATHOML - I was surprised we got this one, too! He let us know when he wanted us to sing but I think we did pretty all right.

Satanized was probably the first song where I felt myself start to settle in a little more. I absolutely forgot about my promise to myself to freak it monk style in the pit so my brain was finally not overthinking the fact that every single thing I was seeing meant I was missing something else. It was also the song where I started waving the Ghildo at Papa as he finally made his way up to the high platform (he was probably up there before but it just didn’t feel like the right moment to shake a dick at Papa, somehow). I was only a little disappointed when he didn’t (visibly or immediately, at least - pin that) react or notice.

I had to juggle songs where I wanted to wave the ghildo and songs where I wanted to potentially catch any picks that might happen to come my way. I’m not terribly coordinated, you’ll be shocked to learn. So knowing me I’d find a way to attempt a one handed catch and end up using the ghildo like a baseball bat, sending that pick flying back at its owner.

But Jay, you say, that picture of you haul you shared via text/social media/skywriter had a pick in it! 

Yes, yes it did. Because Richie is, in fact, the man. At various points throughout the night I’m pretty sure he made sure that a good many of us at barricade got a pick. I’d guess he’s just got a pile of them in a pocket, but I suppose there’s always a chance he was distributing wayward tosses that didn’t make it into the crowd.

I don’t remember what song this was before BUT - for others who were there, did they play Masked Ball (the music for the plague doctors during the Cardinal era of the three-hour shows) at one point almost as a hold/spacer to finalize a costume change or something? I swear I was so confused for a minute.

Satan Prayer was the other shocker of the night. While I was utterly tickled to hear another Opus song - making its first appearance since the sole show of the cursed year of 2020 where Copia ascended and Nihil became a Force ghost - of course he did Tobias you goddamn fucking nerd how did I just realize this), I don’t think it works in the current format. The audience singalong section goes way long - I think he’s hoping people will jump in more but this one’s old enough that it may not be at the forefront of many’s memories. I’d be curious to see how he might remix it to make it a little more tailored to the current arena setting.

However! On one of the 'coming of seed' lines, Perpetua did give us an absolutely casual jerk off/cum fling gesture. Chef's kiss.

RITUAL - or lack thereof. Despite it being one of my top Ghost songs, I somehow didn’t realize we didn’t get Ritual until after the show when I was scrolling my dash in a stupor. Is this literally the first full-length Ghost concert where it hasn’t been played? I don’t think setlist.fm has a ‘show me the last time this wasn’t played’ filter.

I’m hoping Ritual and this one or Per Aspera Ad Inferi will swap spots every couple shows like they did with Faith/Pinnacle and Call Me Little Sunshine/Majesty.

Umbra: so, so fun, but without good audio and with limited visibility especially during the keyboard/guitar duel, this one was harder to enjoy than I would have liked. I expect I’ll get more out of it from a different vantage point. I also think the “Papa” at the end of this song is sus, as reported previously by others. It’s just so weird the way he pops out on one end of the stage but barely long enough to see him, then runs around the back and does it again on the other side. It feels like not-quite-good-enough sleight of hand. A failed Criss Angel, if you will. And then he pops out really soon after all done up for Year Zero. Hmm.

He Is: a chance to catch our breath after the intensity of Year Zero. It really is like singing along in church and I’m glad it happened late enough in the show that I didn’t feel weird about it.

Rats: I adore this song beyond belief and I am one million percent sure that my neck and shoulder muscles would be sore today because of the amount of headbanging I did during Cerberus Mode alone.

KTGG: Dew was being absolutely filthy here. It was great. I saw him stick his entire middle finger in his mouth and slide it out with a little pop at the end.

You see what I mean about not getting a lot of Papa action out on the edges? Most of what I remember is ghoul interactions.

Well, maybe go get another drink or hit or whatever. A chocolate. A little treat. Because V is coming.

Mummy Dust

Aka the part of the ritual where Papa claims his sacrifice.

Okay I’m being a little dramatic but you will forgive me. You will understand. Maybe you’ve already heard this part because you better believe I’ve recounted it at least half a dozen times already. That’s okay. Maybe read it again and pretend it’s you. Or don’t. I’m not your boss, I already told you that.

I’m pausing writing here for a moment despite being on hour three of standing over this entire kitchen full of giant stovetops cooking for you. I need mood music. Alexa - no I don’t use fucking Alexa. You get the picture. Play me some Mummy Dust.

The first minute, approximately, of the song, goes about as you expect. I don’t think Perpetua is wilding quite like his two predecessors (no - and I cringe to acknowledge this cultural reference - no full out hawk tuah on his gloved fist transitioning into full on fisting) but again - my audio wasn’t great so maybe Tobias was over there fighting Mary for control of his body again. Who can say.

Do you remember where Copia stands during this part of the song? For the most part, Perpetua’s blocking is similar. Understandably, TF doesn’t want to relearn all this shit every time he reinvents his wheel.

So do you remember? (Pepperidge Farm remembers) 

That’s right. He stands on the far stage left raised platform.

Where, I remind you, I am standing at barricade, neon purple Ghildo, his very own graven image of lustful worship, raised aloft. 

Beckoning, perhaps. Challenging. Acknowledge me. See me. Show me you.

Be careful what you goddamn wish for, the universe answers.

So. We’re a minute into the song, ore thereabouts. There’s an instrumental break.

We’ve already recalled Copia in RHRN. Now, recall the choreography, an evolution of Terzo’s - we’ll come back to that in a minute - the somewhat bored and detached boob honk. The perfunctory hip grab mimed, the small thrusts and withdrawal. Perhaps my retroactive perspective is somewhat altered, now.

This was NOT that.

This man. This creature.

STARED ME DOWN LIKE PREY.

Clawed at my chest and hips and had his way with me.

I was stuck in an infinite tunnel vision of Perpetua and not one other soul in that arena.

I am certain I did things that were horrendously embarrassing. Did I mime his choreography back at him? You know I did.

And then we went our separate ways.

I remember asking my neighbor, “Did that really just fucking happen?”

Another embarassment: as I attempted to recover and prepare for the fire ghoul bukakke to come (ha), I threw my head back in delight at the same moment the wonderfully patient person behind me who put up with my ass (literally) thrust her head forward. Or maybe it’s just where it was, even worse. She seemed okay but if you read this: Sweet Lucifer I am sorry. Please forgive me, I was having a life-changing experience.

I did manage to gather enough of my brain cells together in time to jerk off with Dew.

You know what I mean but it’s funnier to say it that way. Sunglasses (deal with it)

It's even raunchier in person, somehow. The way he - ahem.

Perpetua made the mummy dust joint and threw it again, but it didn’t make it into the crowd. He asked Richie to get it and then spotted Ryan and teased us about looking at all his pretty photos online so we don’t have to take them ourselves.

The mummy dust cannon was very fortuitously placed for me but I get the sense that more of it got backdrafted onto the stage even than usual. We got the Jesus blowjob special and the venue staff were already gathering it up to pass out and back. I had a lot of people offer me some on my way out and I kept opening up my vest to show them the bills in my inner vest pocket like I was some kind of cool baby.

I have been writing this for at least three hours no so yeah it’s getting real fuckin’ weird and we’ve still got four songs to go, not to mention a bunch of other miscellaneous stuff that’s less easily categorized. I will persevere and so can you. Take your time. 

The finale and the encore

Monstrance Clock - we got the ‘conclusively’ clue and the usual patter about appreciating us on behalf of the band, etc. Very lovely. I was singing the harmonies because that’s what I always do at home and I wonder if my neighbors thought I can’t sing (sometimes it was hard to tell what key a song was in at first). Oh well.

He did do something close to Terzo and the Cardinal's Monstrance Clock choreo but I didn't see all of it.

They were offstage for a minute or so. No real pretense at not being the end of course.

Finally it is encore time!

Mary on a Cross - I have such mixed feelings about this song! I heard it long before I knew it was Ghost of course, on recycled tiktoks that turned up on instagram. And it never grabbed me but it’s a perfectly good song! I’ll happily bop along to it any day. But it’s not special for me like it is for a lot of folks. That’s okay though!

Because next up is Dance Macabre. I said this separately on tumblr last night but this is seriously one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my entire life. The confetti, the rainbow lights, everything about it is perfect.

But what I haven’t seen ANYONE say about Dance Macabre is this: at this point in the show Papa is back in the very shiny silver jacket (the one he wore for the Ozzy tribute). And it’s so reflective that when the rainbow lights fire up, he transforms into a shifting radiant ethereal rainbow. It’s mesmerizing and one of the most brilliant things they’ve ever done. I cannot emphasize enough how it enchanted me.

And then comes the realization that it’s about to really - really - be over. 

Papa asked Dew to whip it out, to whip out the big one, while he had his arm around him and then gave him the traditional fist bump to kick off Square Hammer.

The trio assembled as usual - I think Dew did a little backbend, Rain definitely did a bit as well. 

Papa got lost in the lyrics which, hey, relatable. I do it all the time. This was the only time I noticed it happening but my attention was all over the place so who knows. 

Sorrow in the Wind: over way too soon. Phantom was walking around with the new ghoul, picks were tossed but I was about five feet out of prime pick zone territory it seems, and I didn’t even see a setlist. Sticks went off to the seats and I’m glad the folks over there got some love too.

The new ghoul stands next to Dew (who keeps his end spot) for bows!

Post-show and miscellany!

I found @ghoulodont after the show! The crew pretty aggressively started breaking things down pretty much as soon as the lights came up, but I’m sure there are timetables and contracts and all sorts of logistical demands that require it. It was a bit of a slow meander out regardless as we were all tired and overwhelmed I’m pretty sure.

But anyway, I delivered my promised “HIS PAWWWW” and got a worm and we dodged Vanessa and her camera and I shared my small bounty of mummy dust and gushed about my absolutely unbelievable day. 

I was so glad to meet a couple tumblr peeps! Unfortunately I missed a few others but that’s life, yeah?

I was stunned that we had no new Skeleta. I don’t know what the plan is - maybe only having one track from Impera that didn’t ever get played live made him reconsider how he wants to spread them out now that the band’s repertoire is getting large enough to make it harder to balance album distribution.

I was also surprised that I didn’t cry or even feel like I might cry. Lately i’ve been super emotional at music, but I think my emotional processing just couldn’t keep up with all the inputs so it shut off instead of overload. We’ll see what the rest of my shows bring.

I also think the heat and chaos of the day kind of fucked me. I wasn’t as well hydrated as I would have liked and my legs and feet were immediately threatening to cramp as soon as we stood up for Vanessa and throughout the show. And I had eaten certainly not nearly enough for the amount of physical and emotional energy I’d expended before the show even started. So I’ve given myself some notes on being better prepared next time.

It’s funny because as a former endurance athlete in a brief span of my pre-COVID lifetime, there’s a lot of overlap between that and going to concerts like this, it turns out. Right down to writing a ridiculously detailed fever dream recap for your cult friends after the fact. But it does give me some extra strategies for this. Electrolyte tabs so I don’t have to worry about making myself have to pee too much. Actually doing some training for time on feet in the gear you’re going to wear the day of. Compression socks for recovery. The ability to not freak out when you wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat even though you’ve cranked the incredible hotel AC down to your preferred refrigeration temperature (65F)

I’m doing three rituals in a row next week. I’m going to need all the tricks in my bag.

My battle vest performed phenomenally. A+. Would make the pockets deeper but I can literally do that whenever I find the time. DIY FTW

Barricade is amazing and I’m so so happy to have had the experience. It gets pretty crowded as people press forward which is tough. It was never dangerous but I felt bad every time I accidentally bumped my foot into the wheelchair of a lady behind me as I tried to keep it from cramping up on me. I had preemptively talked to her about the amount of space and apologized for any bumps and she is a concert vet who said no problem - in general folks in the pit were very good about understanding that personal space is more of a guideline when you’re there.

I think it was Faith but I can’t be sure - I’d have to rewatch RHRN or something - but at one point Dew was up on the platform and working up to a solo and I knew he was about to do his power stance so I started chanting at increasing volume, “Power stance, power stance, power stance… YEAAAAHHH”

There was a song where Papa was kind of doing similar stuff to Secondo - like he was possessing or controlling one of the guitar ghouls - but from further away as opposed to all up in his business like Secondo did with Alpha.

We got a couple little right foot Dew stomps at one point.

Papa told us he was easy and we hooted and hollered at him. Easy maybe, but not gentle lmao

Even my arms got tired from all the fist pumping and horn throwing and “as above”ing!

He had some real Creature arm movement in Cirice and then another song - maybe Per Aspera, I’m not sure. He clenched his fist up above his head in a weird and neat way. Huh. I keep talking about his arm movements, maybe he really did study up.

Yes, I know who the new guy is. Or at least, I can say that based on what I saw, one of the folks I saw being posited is extremely likely to be that person.

Saw myself up on the big screen during Squammer. Very briefly. I think maybe they get the footage throughout the show and splice it together for the end? Originally I thought it was live but now I’m reconsidering.

You know all those ghoul fics where they stay at a hotel after a show? I don’t think that happens very often. I realized after seeing Vanessa’s post of her bunk last night that I was watching them all leave with all their bags. Which is smart - even if folks figure out where they’re staying, by the time everyone’s congregated, they’re gone. It was a fluke that I was early enough to catch them, basically. They’re more likely to roll into town the day before a show and have a hotel night then so they can have a good rest before the show whenever possible.

I’m now wondering if Vanessa’s hotel post was an intentional decoy LMFAO

Or maybe she and Tobias and fam were staying in one place and the band another.

Is the timeline such that Rain (or another ghoul) checked out of their room and it was turned over before I checked in? Does your answer change if I tell you it was a king room with the “city view” and on the top floor? Not that it matters at all but it made me laugh when I realized it’s probably technically possible.

FUN FACT: Did you know that Square Hammer ends on the same note that Peacefield starts on? Now you do.

OKAY

I am sure I have more thoughts and also that this was probably way more thoughts than anyone expected. Sorry not sorry? I wrote this as much for myself as for you - as I told you at the beginning, or at least closer to it than we are now, I am astonished that even with all the challenges of the day, my brain is being cooperative in recalling minute details in this volume. I needed to get this down now more than I need a night of good sleep - which is impressive considering I haven’t had a full night since, oh, Sunday to Monday? But now finally, four hours in to this endeavor, I feel comfortable saying “good enough for now.”

I threw links and placeholders in here for shit I’m not going to have the energy to make nice tonight. I’ll probably clean it up later! Or rb and add the things I inevitably think of as soon as I publish this post.