Iām the real estate agent that sells obviously haunted houses to nice white families that want to get away from it all.
I would like to give you my business. Iām tryin to die penniless and leave nothing but a found footage film to my kids in the will
Then oh boy, do I have the forest cottage for you! Far from anyone that could help you, it has a gorgeous view of a lake where dozens of people have gone missing. Thereās a rumor of a killer that raises from the water, but this place has an excellent porch
Is there a small, dark washing room in the basement corner thatās at least ten degrees colder than the rest of the house? Thatās a must.
Yes. And thereās a latch window that always seems to swing open in the middle of the night.
Wonderful! I especially love how cell receptionist patchy at best, making any attempted outgoing call to the police as dramatic as possible.
I think youāll also love how itāll immediately become pitch black as soon as the clock strikes 5:00 pm no matter the time of year. Thereās also no stars for some reason.
Did the previous owner leave any religious iconography that could slowly appear to distort and corrupt over time, or will I need to furnish that myself?
Letās just say I definitely didnāt put these area rugs here myself to cover a few ornate symbols drawn in blood š
Youāve got a sale!
