#veida

Sometimes, feelings are too precious to put into words.

Too secret to voice out loud.

So, you let Liam know another way. In little ways, even when he's not expecting it.

__

You know Eleanor is jaded, even with her teasing words and easy smiles.

Her words are smooth, pure velvet, when she wants them to be.

But, when you begin to use her own words against her, she flushers. She always does.

__

Veida is a quiet woman, and her voice is blunt and her face is stony. She does not falter, even when you try your hardest.

But her smile is softest when you sit with her during court, or in the library.

She does not falter, but her affection for you does not either.

__

At first, Edric tensed at the slightest touch from you. Because he knew it meant feelings. He knew it meant commitment.

But, it was easy for him to fall into a habit of pulling you against him or running a hand through your hair.

It's thundering in the distance.

You dig your nails into your palms, and despite the rain pouring down your face, you feel hot.

Too hot.

You're angry, but you can't remember why, can't remember if this argument was your doing or not.

But, it doesn't matter when the person ahead of you is angry as well.

"It's because I—" The storm grows louder, as if trying to drown out your words, "I love you."

___

Liam is frowning, eyebrows furrowed, but his face colors all the same. 

"You cannot say that," He takes a step back, putting more space between the two of you. "No, do not say that."

You think you're crying, but it mixes with rainwater, and you can't tell. "Why not?" Your voice cracks.

"We can't," Is all Liam says, and you have a feeling this is the last you will speak of it.

___

Eleanor's eyes squint, hand clutching her dagger.

You don't look at it. You only look at her.

You aren't scared.

She bristles, moving forward in a flash, to press her blade to your throat. You tilt your chin back, but you don't flinch. She wouldn't hurt you.

At least, you hope she wouldn't.

"You're lying," Her eyes are blazing, but you catch the shake in her fingers, "You don't."

"I—"

"Don't say it again." Eleanor bites her lip, hard. "You're not making this easy for me."

You don't attempt again, and she takes a step back. 

Her dagger falls, into the mud.

___

Edric laughs, mirthlessly, his fingers tugging at his wet hair as he turns away from you.

"Shut up—" He tries to say the words with bite, but there's none there, "You fucking—" He cuts off as you step forward.

"Edric, I'm not lying, I—"

His hands snap away from his hair, grabbing your wrists half-heartedly, with no real force. "I don't need love, I don't need you—So, go away—just—" 

His head drops, as does his hold on you. 

___

Veida has an umbrella over her shoulder, keeping her dress dry and her eyes covered.

Her expression is blank, and you try again.

"Veida, I love you, I—" 

She opens her mouth, and you stop.

"I do not love you," Her voice is steady, sure.

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and you don't notice the grit of her teeth or the look in her eyes. 

The day had been a long one.

 You wanted to sink into your plush mattress and forget that the morning would eventually come and bring back all the stress you wanted to sleep away. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to go back to your room in the palace.

So, you let your head thump against a shoulder, and you finally close your eyes, drifting to sleep.

--

Liam stiffens into a board, eyes darting to the top of your head.

Please, don't let me wake them—

He turns, as softly as possible, to slide his hand under the bend of your knees, lifting you up and off of the bench you had been sitting on. He'd have to be quick to take you to your room, and thankfully, it wasn't far.

A small warmth gathers in his heart as he looks down, your head now rested gently against his chest.

It was peaceful.

--

Eleanor, her instincts kicking in, nearly draws her dagger. But, seeing that it was your temple resting against her shoulder, she pauses.

You were so trusting of someone you barely knew, and she wanted to laugh at that. She didn't.

Eleanor glanced away, hoping to herself, that you would wake soon and realize the danger of being so open. Realize the danger of being so open to her.

But, there was another part of her that wanted you to never realize at all.

--

Edric nearly jumps out of his skin, his hand raising to slap you on the top of the head for being so careless.

"You—!" He cuts off, because, at the sight of how defenseless you look, he can't.

It almost makes him want to wake you with a kiss, instead.

He wondered if you would blush if he did. He wondered if you would be too tired to even comprehend a kiss.

But a pinch to the cheek is all he gives you, and it wakes you almost immediately.

--

Veida knew her sleeve was hardly comfortable. Then again, she was the only person available to lay upon, so she nearly decided to let it slide. Until she began thinking.

Were you not taking care of yourself? How would you be able to teach her brother properly then? If you woke with a sore neck, you would hardly be able to focus in the morning. She glares at your sleeping face.

She touches the top of your head, gentle for only a moment.