default assuming that every single person you encounter is straight is actually worse than questioning if someone is queer. can’t believe this is something that has to be said.
i think most people who viciously enforce the idea that “speculating” on sexualities is evil do so because they think it is an insult to be described as gay. they think it harmful to “straight” people when someone says they are gay. because they default to heteronormativity and they think that being seen as gay is embarrassing!
any secure straight person would not be insulted if they were considered gay. this is actually my litmus test when i meet men who i might be friends with. i go “you’re bi, right?” and their reaction tells me everything. a lot of my close male friends reacted well to this question, either going “haha no i’m just straight” or (even funnier) ended up realizing that they are bisexual. it’s not an insult if you don’t think that being gay is bad.
