SweetieJack's Place

I first reblogged this in January, and here my ass is in March 2020 self-quarantined at home.

Every cat I have known would immediately climb up through the hole and start stealing everybody’s food.

Crime porthole

this was designed by cats

You imprison miette. You put her under the glass like the cheese. Jail for mother for hundreds of years.

this is the most deadpan miette I've ever heard omg

Also good for those of us with desk jobs!

For an obvious example… dalmatians have been bred for fire magic. A properly trained dalmatian will run into a burning building and all the fires around it will go out. Caution is necessary, of course, because they can also do the opposite. Their favourite toys are often a bit blackened, and puppies must be kept in fireproof surroundings, with extinguishers in easy reach.

The Pekingese’ magic is camouflage - they can change colour to match whatever they touch, whether a blanket, a mossy rock, or even a reflective mirror. This ability originally enabled them to hide in a robe, so their owners could take them into places where dogs were technically not permitted. The classic image of a pekingese is of it sitting outside a building, appearing to be part of the stonework… until it reveals itself to growl at an intruder.

Portuguese water dogs are canine silkies - in deep enough water they transform into curly-haired seals, and when they climb back out and shake off, they turn back into dogs.

A cat’s protective aura gets stronger in response to affection and respect. If you bond strongly enough with one, you can actually FEEL the magic working, soothing fear and anxiety. They also work in dreams, catching and killing nightmares. Some can do this from several rooms away, while others like to work more closely and will sit on their owners’ chests or heads while they sleep.

Yes please to all of this.

Rat magic: a mysterious multiplication of SOMETHING–food or other valuable resources generally–which can be pretty handy if you don’t mind the nibble marks.

Beagle magic is mostly low-grade telepathy, which is very handy for coordinating a pack hunt, but also makes individual dogs prone to neurosis.

Some cats, like their behaviour of presenting a prey, also sometimes present their owner with a small magical favour. Sometimes this involves a transmuted treat. Sometimes this involves a clumsy owner growing whiskers

What the hell do Corgis do that it is illegal for them to do their magic in public?

It’s going to be very diffcult not to be an extremely paranoid PC now. Damn.

I NEEEEEED THIS

Oh my god

Anyway, I just emailed [email protected] to report the site for very evilly stealing Disney’s IP! Because obviously that is very evil and bad and shit.

I’ve never seen such a perfect example of fighting fire with fire.

I’m DYING.

😂😂😂

I can’t believe this is happening in 2021…

No no, this is a perfect time for it to happen in 2021.

hear me out, laudna is one of the corpses they hung from the sun tree

Or a parent of hers