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@surviving-ardor-thriving
-âââ-Welcome!-âââ-
hello! please call me Ardor :)
I use all pronouns, but prefer he/him and fae/faer
i am a minor
Icon picrew link: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2795963
{~*~}

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Lil Nas X should not be allowed to be this funny
So, you know how certain Christian missionaries are trained to act in a very obnoxious way, so that most people they preach to will reject them outright, so they feel like the world hates them for being Christian and they can only be friends with fellow Christians? You know that thing?
I think as activists, we sometimes need to stop and ask ourselves whether we're acting like those missionaries. I think this type of behavior is a little more ingrained into our society than some of us realize, and some of us have internalized it without realizing what it's actually meant to do.
OP I know that this is probably a different direction than you were going, but genuinely this advice would do so so much to help people not fall into secular political cults.
A lot of high control groups use this tactic to isolate their members. Itâs absolutely not just evangelizing Christians. New age wellness cults often encourage their members to make outlandish and offensive accusations regarding the mental and physical health of other people or their children, because they know that the backlash their members receive will reinforce the idea that the âmainstreamâ simply has no room for people who like crystals and essential oils. White supremacist cults will seed the vocabulary of new recruits with Nazi dog whistles that fly over those recruits heads, specifically so that they will get clocked as possible neo-Nazis and shunned by anyone who might offer them another perspective and help them to get out before itâs too late. And a lot of left-leaning political cults strongly encourage members to share their views in the most inflammatory ways possible, and then say âyou see? everyone outside of this small circle is evil and cannot be relied onâ when, inevitably, that produces bad results.
Sometimes I think that activists fall into these patterns completely accidentally, either because they were raised in culturally Christian evangelical environments and never unpacked it, or else because they just arenât any good at approaching things in a non-inflammatory way and no oneâs shown them how.
âŚBut sometimes, these structures emerge in activist circles because those circles are legitimately becoming high control groups.
I think some things to watch out for especially in this regard are:
Are you being directed to behave in an extremely hostile and alienating way? (even if itâs by someone who you trust!)
Does the group you are in immediately shut down any conversation about the effectiveness of an antagonistic strategy? In particular, do they shut that conversation down using in-group stock phrases?
Is experiencing harsh rejection seen as something of a rite of passage?
Do you receive more validation from the group you are in after you have been rejected by someone outside the group than at any other time?
Have you ever been concerned that the antagonistic strategy you are using hurt someone you cared about, only to be quickly advised by members of the group that that person was toxic and that you should actually completely cut them out of your life?
These to me are all pretty significant red flags about the group in question, whatever the specific thing that brings people together there is. If you start noticing them in a group that you are a part of, be that an in-person activist circle or a Discord server or anything in between, take a step back and seriously consider the possibility that the good thing that you joined is turning into something different, and possibly dangerous.
In the words of Jonestown survivor Deborah Layton, âNobody joins a cult. You join a self-help group, a religious movement, a political organization. They change so gradually, by the time you realize youâre entrapped â and almost everybody does â you canât figure a safe way back out.â
this is a pdf detailing the BITE model of authoritarian control, a method for determining whether or not you're in a cult.
even if you feel confident you are not and have never been in a cult, it's a good idea to familiarize yourself with the signs, just in case one begins to sneak up on you in the future.
Ok, I actually want to talk about this for a moment.
Jonestown, one of the most infamous cults in history, with a mass suicide / mass murder that left more than 900 people dead of cyanide poisoning, hundreds of whom were children⌠was a leftist political cult. That fact is an unambiguous and completely undebatable matter of historical record.
This isnât a footnote in the story of Jonestown, and it isnât a weird anti-leftist gotcha either. Jonestown attracted people to their cause with anti-segregation and anti-poverty activist work, and they did actual, meaningful good for those causes. The Peopleâs Temple was a leftist org, unambiguously. They created mutual aid networks for food aid, and rent assistance, and job placement services, and clothing donations, and winter heating. They leaned heavily on the Indianapolis Human Rights Commission in order to push desegregation, and led sit-ins and boycotts and protests. They participated in significant voter registration efforts. They led the fight against the eviction of tenants from San Francisco's International Hotel.
People joined The Peopleâs Temple because it was a good thing when they joined it. They didnât start out as brainwashed cultists, and they didnât gravitate towards the leadership of Jim Jones out of masochism, or inherent submissiveness, or a perverse love of creeping authoritarianism. They fell in line under Jim Jones because heâd built a community that was genuinely helping people, and was advancing a political cause that seemed worth fighting. They followed Jim Jones because he earned their trust.
Jim Jones then used the trust and the social capital that he had gained from all of the above in order to elevate himself to the status of a messianic figure, and abuse and profit off of his followers. Slowly but surely, he boiled the frog. It was all good â and then it was mostly good â and then, well there was some abuse, but it wasnât that bad, and it wasnât really his fault â and then there was a lot of abuse, but the outside world would destroy them if given the chance, so wasnât it the lesser of the two evils? And then, eventually, it got so bad that hundreds of people poisoned themselves and their children at his command, and murdered everyone in the compound who refused and resisted.
Your cause of choice is not immune from abusers taking advantage of it!
It doesnât matter if youâre right. It doesnât matter if your cause is just. It does not matter if your good thing really is a good thing, because there is always the possibility that it will one day be co-opted by a monster. And if the fact that it started good is enough for you to ignore that gradual, subtle change, you could end up in a truly horrible situation.
One of my best friends in undergrad got sucked into a cult. Years later, we talked about it, and he told me something that Iâll never forget which is, itâs only when you look all the way back at things that they seem crazy. You start off with things that are totally normal and innocuous: âweâre stronger togetherâ; âoppression is badâ; âyou can accomplish more if you believe in yourselfâ; âempathy is important and we should all try to bring more of it into our livesâ; etc. Then, you move to something thatâs just a little step away from that. And then again. And then again. And then again. But it never feels like a big jump, because itâs not! A -> Z is crazy, but A -> B wasnât, and B -> C wasnât, and C -> D wasnât, andâŚ
This friend was smart, and rational, and independent, and normal, and by the time he and his wife left, theyâd gone from just thinking that we should all practice more emotional mindfulness, to being terrified that leaving the cult and the cult leader would literally kill them, via the cult leader having magical powers.
If your only analysis is âWhere I started was good, and no single step since then has been crazyâ that is utterly insufficient to keep you safe.
âThis canât possibly be a cult, because when I joined it was a leftist political org and thereâs never been a single instance where it suddenly changedâ is literally the exact logic that kept people in Jonestown until it was too late.
honestly i think the reason why itâs so common for kids to have the âitâs not a phase, momâ argument in their adolescence is less because they genuinely plan for their current state of being to remain utterly unchanged forever and more because theyâre tired of having their interests/self expression/beliefs/etc dismissed as foolish due to being probably temporary
i know that when i was that age i certainly wasnât thinking about whether or not iâd be into whatever shit i was into then when i was 80, all i knew was that i was sick of feeling like the adults in my life were just rolling their eyes and waiting out everything that was important to me at that moment
important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are
reblog if you're also lame and weird.

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The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me
This is painfully American
Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem
when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.
anyone else relate
Paul-Emile BĂŠcat â Illustration pour les Contes (Tome II) de Jean De la fontaine, 1928-1929
#penis inspection day at the convent
Literally, yes.
This is a Paul-Emile Becat illustration done in the 1920s for a poem written in the 1600s by Jean de la Fontaine called "Les Lunettes" ("The Eyeglasses").
The basic plot is that a young nun gets pregnant, and the abbess is trying to figure out who the father was and how he got in and out. Eventually she realizes he couldn't have left and must still be inside, disguised as a nun. So she gets the nuns to strip and examines them.
The young man has used a bit of lace to to tie down his penis, and tucked it out of sight, but seeing all the naked nuns causes him to become erect. While she is inspecting him, the lace breaks and his penis pops up, knocking the abbess' eyeglasses off her face.
why not have the reader re-read a sentence now and then? it won't hurt him....

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Mental Crop Rotation
When farmers grow the same crop too many years in a row, it can leave their soil depleted of minerals and other nutrients that are vital to the health of their fields.
To avoid this, farmers will often alternate the crops that they grow because some plants will use up different minerals (such as nitrogen) while other plants replenish those minerals. This process is known as âcrop rotation.â
So the next time you find that you need to step away from a project to work on something else for a while, donât beat yourself up for âquittingâ that project. Give yourself permission to practice âmental crop rotationâ to maintain a healthy brain field.
Because Iâve found that when that unnecessary guilt and pressure are removed from the process, a good mental crop rotation can help you feel more energized and invigorated than ever once youâre ready to rotate back to that project.
: A crucial part of crop rotation is that the field is let fallow sometimes. You plant whatâs called a âcover cropâ, which is something you donât expect to harvestâ itâs there for its roots to hold the soil in place, and often itâll be whatâs called a nitrogen-fixer, i.e. a plant that can pull nitrogen out of the air and fix it into the soil with its roots (but sometimes it wonât, sometimes itâs really just there to shelter the soil surface), and then youâll till in that cover crop, or let the frost kill it and the stalks lie as mulch, and then youâll rotate productive crops back into that field the next season.Â
Itâs important, though, to understand that during the fallow period, no nutrients are removed from that ground, and nothing is expected of it. Whatever the land grows then, it keeps, and it gets tilled back in or decomposes in place, to return its energy to the earth.
Weâre not allowed, in our current society, to just let our minds be fallow for a bit, to produce nothing for export, to make nothing that can be sold. But itâs part of good land stewardship, to give every field time when it doesnât need to give you anything back.Â
So yes, grow and produce different things from time to time, rotate them around your mind and exercise different mental muscles, take different things from your creative processes, yesâ but also, give yourself a fallow spell now and again, and let the field of your mind grow things for itself to keep, to break down and save for later.Â
Positive mental health AND agriculture??!?
*slams reblog button*
yall are so fucking weird about gnc people. a woman wears a suit and she's "conforming to the patriarchy". a man wears a skirt and he's Secretly A Trans Egg. have you considered It's Fabric
i told my friendâs dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes
âi think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexualâ
and friend got kinda mad at me lmao
Fuck his dad
Fuck his dad
Fuck his dad
Fuck his dad
i genuinely feel like im being edged
I just want to love and be loved. why is lunch twelve dollars now

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nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.
no mi circo no mis feratus
they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know weâve been through a few thursday poisonings so it wonât kill us just yet