Surviving Trauma

I can spot a Narcissistic bull shitter a mile away. Assholes think they can play mind games to fullfill some twisted sense of who they want the world to see them as. Do they not know that people with PTSD have an unbelievable sense of intuition and common fucking sense. We are survivors Fucker! Take your bullshit somewhere else or better yet get fucking help!

I hold them so close to my heart. I can hear your voice, I can see that grin on your face, those silly sayings. How I long to hear you again. 1 more minute with you. You were my rock, my anchor in the stormy choas of my life, my Dad. I miss you, I know one day we will see each other again. Until then, I will hold on to the happy memories.

Why is it that out of about 86,400 seconds in a day all it takes is a nano second to send me into a anxiety, panic, fearful, stressed person?

How odd that the compassion I have for others I find hard to bestow on myself.

I need to work on finding the grey for myself, forgive myself, know that if I fall I can get back up.

You are a victim and freeing yourself of the pain and anguish is your #1 job. If its too hard for them to hear F them.

After my escape I stayed locked up in my sister's apartment, venturing out cautiously here and there. Always looking over my shoulder, using the basement exit, anything to keep under the radar. I went were I knew Police would be, were my family was, were I thought I was safe, were I knew how to exit quickly. I knew if he ever got me he would kill me.

Too much is Too much

How ironic. How funny how the brain works.