SurroundedByBooks

look at this thing

it already has the right colors and everything! this should be everywhere! we already have the lesbian violets and the gay green carnations, so why not the bisexual hydrangea?

so far I have scoured etsy and found one pair of socks with a nice hydrangea gradient (and it has bees, 10/10), an enamel pin with hydrangeas and a bi flag (not terribly subtle, 7/10) and a sticker that says "bi-drangea" (I am SO MAD that I didn't think of that pun myself, 11/10) AND THAT'S IT.

I REQUEST, NAY, DEMAND MORE BI-DRANGEA MERCH. COME ON, PEOPLE.

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

a camera follows ilya rozanov on a plane, stowing his baggage and finding his seat, looking out the window at a city below

flight attendant asks if she can get him anything, mr. rozanov

ilya declines

cut to

ilya walking out of the plane. a staffperson says welcome to canada

cut to

ilya picking up his bag at a baggage claim and making his way outside to where a suspiciously un-logoed land rover waits in the pick up area

ilya puts his bag in the trunk and climbs into the passenger seat

shane is waiting and hands him a tall red paper cup and says ‘welcome home’

Tim Horton’s logo appears on the screen

voiceover: They say Canadians are born all over the world, it just takes some of them longer to make it home. Tim Horton’s will always be waiting for you when you get here.

Ilya in a generic hotel room, talking on the phone as he brushes back the curtain, revealing the Moscow skyline (or some other far away place). Quick shot of him picking up his suitcase and hockey bag. Cut to him sitting in an airport, waiting for his flight, then him in another airport looking up at a departures screen with all the flights marked cancelled. Ilya sleeping at a gate.

Finally boarding, settles in his seat, offered a drink. He watches the sunset through the window.

Welcome to Canada! He collects his luggage and walks to the pick up area to the Land Rover. He climbs in, Shane says “Welcome home” but before he can offer the cup

Ilya climbs across the centre console and tries to swallow Shane’s face.

Cut to a close up of the Tim Horton’s cup in the cup holder, their grabbing hands knocking up against it.

VO: they say Canadians are born all over the world, it just takes them longer to make it home. Tim Horton’s will always be waiting for you when you get there. It can wait while you say hello though.