So Iāve seen a few fics where Jason keeps his old phone/phone number after he died and gets messages of his family grieving him. But imagine they still leave messages and it isnāt Jasonās number anymore. They just assumed of course Bruce would keep up the phone plan.
Just think, wouldnāt that be a great way to introduce an OC or insert or issekaiād crossover character? Here they are, minding their own business in Gotham, when they get a voicemail from a sobbing Dick Greyson? Who is apparently Nightwing?? Complaining about Bruce Wayne who is actually the fucking Batman???
Theyāre so screwed. Just their luck really! To buy a phone with the dead Robinās old number! And have the local vigilantesā secret identities dumped in their lap by a grieving older brother. Now what?
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Danny and Jason knew each other as kids and did a little kiddie wedding as children like to do- playing at getting married. They didnāt like the traditional vow of ātill death do us partā so they changed it. Only it is Gotham and somehow their little ceremony ends up being actually magically binding.
Years later life has separated them the way Death no longer can. Dannyās family moved away. Jason got adopted. They drift apart. Emails becoming shorter and less frequent until the media blackout around Amity Park stops them altogether. Friends fall out of touch. It happens.
Then Death comes for one of them. Because of their vows however, it doesnāt stick. Then the same goes for the other one. They go together or not at all. Death wonāt part them. But maybe, just maybe, bound by a destiny carved by the dreams of children, Death can bring them back together.
Because Iām an absolute sucker for identity porn:
They meet as little kids in Gotham and have their puppy love romance until life drifts them apart. Then Jason dies and Death lures Danny into the portal to have the accident so they can meet again as ghosts.
Phantom and ghost Robin have a whirlwind romance- maybe even deciding to ghost elope until for some reason the portal gets shut down with Jaybin stuck in the realms. Danny is heart broken but eventually tries to move on. But unbeknownst to him, the portal closing means Death had to let Jason go back to life because Death cannot be what parts them.
Danny somehow ends up back in Gotham and he and Red Hood get together. But then Danny sees Damian Robin and mistakes him for Jaybin and decides he needs to get a ghost divorce so he can pop the question to Hood. Jason doesnāt remember his time as a ghost so thereās shenanigans as Phantom is seen as a crazy new rogue calling himself Robinās ghost husband.
I just love the idea of Danny thinking heās truly loved three people in his life: Jason, Robin and Red Hood, only in actuality theyāre all the same person. And Jason is all like ādamn, my childhood bestie grew up to be a hottie and I love him so much but he doesnāt know Iām his childhood bestie because of my secret identity. And if that Phantom weirdo doesnāt stop creeping on Robin imma find a way to kill the bastard twice.ā
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13Ā½ years now
Danny: It was the best sleep I ever had! I've never been on a mattress this nice!
Damian: Of course. It's adjustable, gives massages, and has temperature control. Only the best for the Waynes.
Danny: truly impressive!
Damian: Thank you. Now, may I please inquire on who you are and why you're in my bed?
Danny: My name is Phantom and last night you wished for me so here I am
Damian: I did no such thing.
Danny: Yes you did! I'm your first wish upon a star!
Damian: Are you referencing the childish tradition that Richard forced me to partake in? Even if I did humor him, my wish was to make my father proud.
Danny: Yeah, the wish you said out loud to appease Dick was to make your father proud but your true wish, the one in your heart that you secretly thought of, was to have a friend. And since it's your first ever wish, I am here to make it true.
Damian: Even if that is my true wish, Todd said wishing upon a star does not actually work.
Danny: It does work! But people usually make thier very first wish upon a star when they're very young and often don't remember it, or they make very simple wishes like "I want candy," which is so mundane that they don't realize the magic. And the star only grants the very first wish. You just happened to make it much later in life.
Damian: I see.
Danny: You seem very accepting of this. Most people would be more doubtful.
Damian: I have encountered magic many times. I know there is no reason to doubt.
Danny: Oh cool. I'm glad we're skipping the part where I have to convince you this is real. It's a real time saver.
Damian: Indeed. What happens now?
Danny: Well, I'm assign as your lifetime friend. I'll be here until you die and I get my new assignment. Until then I'll live as a normal human boy.
Damian: Will I be dying soon?
Danny: Not that I'm aware of. I belive you are meant to die of old age.
Damian: I see. Very well, Phantom, I look forward to our friendship
Danny: Me too!
Dick kicking open the door: DAMIAN WHY IS THERE A BOY IN YOUR BED!
Danny: I'm-
Damian choosing violence and grabbing Danny's hand: Richard, I love him.
Danny: What-
Dick: No! You're too young! You're only sixteen! *to Danny* I'LL KILL YOU
Danny: Wait-
Damian: You should run, My Love. I am the beloved youngest son of a very dangerous family. One that is most displeased at my deflowering.
Dick foaming at the mouth: DEFLOWERING?!
Danny: No! That isn't- why are you doing this to me, Damian?!
Damian in the latest voice ever: I do not like sharing my bed space without permission. Run, My Love, rune as fast as your normal human legs can take you. My family will start the hunt for your head now that Richard sent out the message.
Danny: This is going to be a very long human lifespan.
Damian: Drake has unleashed the drones. You have two minutes to escape.
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It starts with Superman. At first, no one noticed, because Clark is always surrounded by adoring fans whenever he takes the time to interact with the civilians. He's used to people crowding around, begging for photos, autographs, and even handing him gifts.
Clark follows Bruce's suggestion to avoid autographs but allows selfies and accepts gifts. He tries to say yes only to kids, though, because he has a soft spot for them and doesn't trust the adults. After a normal save- a school bus almost fell off the edge of a bridge after three tires popped and the driver lost control- he was once again surrounded by children begging for his attention.
Amid the chaos, Clark's arms were filled with gifts from well-meaning teens who talked over one another and clustered close. Everywhere he looked, there was a teen with bright eyes and a wide smile, many clutching thier phones for a photo or two. Clark allowed them close for about three minutes before he politely excused himself and flew away, ignoring their disappointment.
He checked every gift, high in the sky, making sure there was no tracking or dangerous item. Once they passed his checks, Clark flew to his apartment, making sure he wasn't followed. After touching up his latest story- writing was mostly editing, he found- he took a bath and got himself some dinner.
Only then, right before he was set to head off to bed, did Clark bother to go through the gifts. Most were drawings and handmade beaded bracelets that reminded him fondly of his own high school days. There was one Superman plushie that seemed handmade, which found its way to a shelf in his room, but the one gift that really stole the show was the very last one.
It was a scroll that, upon unrolling, melted Clark's heart. It was an ink painting of Superman saving an elderly couple. It was obviously from the fire a month ago at the Daily Planet, and the couple was someone very dear to the hero.
There, in bold, sharp black lines, was Clark carrying his Ma and Pa out of the fire, thier faces beaming with love. The artist made the artistic decision not to include the disaster he was rescuing them from, so the image depicted the hair midflight with his parents in each arm, the wing blowing thier hair and thier smiles wide and warm.
He would hang this in his fortress as soon as he flew by the farm to show his parents. He stared at it a little longer before rolling it up and hiding it in his closet behind a false wall.
Clark never suspected anything because there was a picture of Superman saving the Kents, taken by one Jimmy Olsen. He fell asleep that night thinking about how much his family would love it.
That was until the monthly Justice League meeting, where the painting came up in casual conversation after it concluded and members were in the process of leaving. Barry was just retelling his most daring rescue of a group of high schoolers at science camp, outrunning a flood to reach the children. He was also showered with gifts, but his favorite was the ink painting of him running with Iris in his arms from the time he got her out of a building with a bomb.
Clark doesn't normally interrupt a conversation- because his Pa raised him better than that- but he couldn't help it this time. "An ink painting? I got one of those from a teenager two weeks ago."
"I got one too," Hal yells from across the table. He's leaning his cheek back with his feet up. Clark knows Bruce is fighting every instinct in himself to not snap at Hal to take his feet off the table. "It was even in a fancy scroll."
"Mine too." Barry and Clark say at the same time. The three pause, exchanging confused looks. A throat clears on the other side of the room; the men turn to find Diana standing there holding a very familiar scroll.
It is the same fabric that Clark's was made of, the same dark material with the twisting green swirls around the painting. The painting itself was of Wonder Woman, sword held high above her, shield at her side, and right behind her, smiling upwards at her like the goddess she is, stands Steve Trevor.
Except Steve Trevor has been dead for over eight decades. There was no way a random high school had found a picture of him, because Diana had spent years looking for pictures of him and had only found two, both too blurry to really see his facial features. The government had destroyed nearly all records of him when Steve became a part of a secret task force in WWII and couldn't afford to have him linked back to the USA.
This meant the gift giver was someone who had gone out of their way to find Steve and knew that he was someone special to Wonder Woman. Which meant this person also knew that the people they had painted for the other members weren't a wonderful accident but a deliberate choice to use thier family members.
"This just became a risk to our loved ones," Diana announces, hand tight around the top of the scroll
Hal stopped rocking in his chair, swearing softly. "They painted my niece and nephew after I saved them from a fire. I did a few loops and tricks in the air to help calm them down, so a lot of photos of us were taken. I assumed that the artist just used one as a reference. I had no idea that....."
His words fade, but no one calls him out on it. Clark's own heart was hammering in his chest, worry and anxiety licking at his stomach in a nauseating manner. The knowledge that someone out there knew his parents and was even bold enough to taunt him by sending him a painting scared him more than he thought he was capable of feeling.
The four gathered around, retelling how they received their gifts and comparing notes for any similarities. The one thing that stood out was that the scroll was always dropped off when a group of teenagers was nearby, meaning the one behind it was either using teenagers or was a teenager themselves.
"Do you think we are the only ones being targeted?" Clark questions while tapping his arm. "Does anyone else in the League receive them?"
"I'll send out a message," Barry offers, typing away on his tablet. A beep goes off on everyone's communicators, reading out the message in code and calling all members back for an emergency briefing. "We need to make it quick. I don't like leaving Iris alone now that I know someone knows about her."
Turns out every one of the main seven had received a scroll, which made everyone uneasy. Almost everyone.
"Did you not like them?" Bruce doesn't pout, but it's the closest any of them have ever seen him get to. "He worked really hard on them."
"He? Batman, do you know who sent these?"
The Dark Knight leans back in his seat, as stoic as the day they met him, but everyone knows him well enough to see the emotions just beneath his skin. Bruce was preening.
"My son painted those."
"Robin?" Clark frowns. "Why did he not just give it to us at the Watch Tower?"
"No. My other son. He doesn't know he's my son, but I know that he's my son, and I'm watching him go out in the world and act like he's not my son."
"Hold on." Barry holds up an arm. "I got confused. Which Robin are we talking about?"
"None."
".....Then how is he your son?"
"He's my biological child, whom I had during a fling with his parents during thier visit to the Tower of London."
"Parent s. As in plural?" Hal cuts in, eyebrows raised.
"Yes." Bruce nods once, sharply, decisively. And because they know him so well, smugly, "They're ghost hunters."
"Right, so your biological son, who doesn't know he's yours because he was raised by the two-thirds of your threesome, painted pictures of our family members and gave them to us as gifts." Oliver summarized, with confusion clearly coloring his words. "Does that mean he knows our secret identities?"
"Yes."
"Did you tell him?" Clark asks
"No."
"Then how does he know?"
Bruce paused for a single second before he shrugged. "He takes after me. He painted one for me as well"
They watch the man eagerly pull a scroll from its strap on his utility belt, letting it roll open on its own. It's an awe-inspiring painting of Batman mid-swing over the city of Gotham, with the moon behind him. It has bold, thick lines that create a contrast with the white fabric.
It is a true masterpiece....were it not for the giant world written across the scroll.
"It says menace."
"Yes. He does not like Batman"
Diana very delicately stepped closer, placing one comforting hand on Bruce's shoulder. "He'll come around."
"He will not. He thinks Batman is a ghost and has attempted to kill me multiple times. He won't let me close enough to talk"
There is another heavier pause before Clark stands. "All in favor of helping Batman with his child, say aye."
"Aye." The word is echoed by six different voices.
Bruce rolls up his scroll. "That's nice."
"Don't worry, Batman. How hard can it be to track down an ink artist?"
Two years later, Clark is sobbing into his hands in the conference room that has been covered inch by inch with Ink paintings. Every new piece is a new taunt. A reminder that for all his superpowers, he had nothing on the mind of a very determined and petty Wayne. "Where is he? Where is that boy?"
"What is he!? A ghost!?" Hal flings blurry photos over the table, each with a teenage boy. He's never in focus, rarely facing the camera, and the only thing clear about him is his bright green eyes, which almost seem to glow. "How can none of us get a good picture of him!?
Bruce turns from where he's admiring his son's latest work. "Wait a minute. You might be on to something."
you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time
Danny, mistaking Bruce for his father, and while he realises the mix up pretty soon, hes already called Bruce "Dad" at least twice. Danny eventually excuses himself to go find his actual father, but its too late. Calling Bruce "dad" sent him broody, doing it twice cemented that Danny would now be Bruce's son one way or another.
Dick is trying desperately to stop Bruce from forcefully adopting a random kid, and only Damian is helping him in the endeavor, because the other kids couldn't care less if they did or did not get another sibling.
Instead of kidnapping or fighting for him Bruce decided to seduce Jack and Maddie aka giant himbo and hot badass lady both that could kick his ass which is exactly his type. All while Vlad is looking on with horror cause this could have been an option this entire time.
I feel like Danny would also be totally fine with this. His problem with Vlad, other than the fact that hes a massive gross creep, is that he tried to break up his parents or worse kill Jack to get to Maddie. But if Jack and Maddie decided to bring in a third, well then they're adults and he couldn't care less about their relationship as long as its healthy.
Dick: So I found out Danny has an AO3 account when I borrowed his laptop, and I looked him up last night. He has this bookmark that is just filled with the "Roommates", and "Roommates to Lovers" tags. Do you think that means something?
Barbara: I mean, it could? But he also just might like the trope. I mean I like "Enemies to Lovers" but I'm not going to go romance Harley Quinn, you know?
Dick: I guess that makes sense.
Barbra: Did you want it to mean something?
Dick: I don't know, I'm not against the idea, Danny's great, but I also like where our friendship is at now, you know? I don't want it ruined, plus with school and work hes busy, and I'm not much better with my own studies, and work, and night job.
Barbra: Yeah, I get it. Things are complicated right now. I wouldn't worry too much about it though, hes probably had that bookmark for years, before he even had a roommate.
Dick: Yeah, you're probably right. I'm stressing over nothing.
Barbra: So, what's his AO3 name?
Dick: Ghosting_Along
Barbra: No way! I love their fics!
Dick: Really? I only really looked at his bookmarks, what does he write.
Barbra: Some Criminal Minds, and a few one shots for various anime and shows, but he mostly writes SuperBat fics. Its all fluff pieces or angst but-
Listen, he loved Dan. Loved him with his whole heart; which is why he tried to avoid the idea of his boyfriend meeting his family.
For a lot of reasons, too. Not just because his adopted father was a paranoid bat vigilante who wasnāt too fond of people with powers and that the rest of his family were vigilantes and were def going to embarrass him.
Though he had to say he mostly hid his boyfriend from them bcs he doubted theyād react too well when they found out about Danāsā¦past adventures.
The point was that because Tim loved Dan he was trying to hide him from them. But it didnāt work, because why would it?
Hence the family dinner his boyfriend and him were currently at.
āSo,ā Dick grinned, his voice too cheerful, āhow did you and Tim meet?ā
Followed me home from patrol and broke into my apartment to give me flowers, a bejeweled dagger, the severed hand of Raās Al Ghul, and a poster board saying āplease love meā Tim mentally snorted, āit was a chance meeting, I guess,ā
āLike fate,ā Dan grinned, his fangs gleaming and Tim could see Bruce take note of it in real time
Damian turned to face Dan, āWhat makes you think you are worthy to be connected to the Wayne name?ā
Bruce sighed, āDamian,ā
āItās an honest question, Father,ā
āWell,ā Dan started, āTo be honest, I suppose the fact that I amāā
A swirling portal of green ripped through the dining room, the Waynes leaping into action minus Tim (and Dan, of course).
Three Observants stepped through.
āDark Phantom,ā Observant 1 said, āYou have been neglecting your duties toāā
Dan snarled as his eyes glowed red, a powerful ectoblast slamming into the two Observants next to the one that had spoken and a blast powered up for the last one.
āI,ā Danās voice was Eldritch and horrific, āAm meeting my cursed treasureās family. Disperse before I rip out your souls from your bodies and devour them!ā
The Observants quickly vanished and the portal disappeared; Dan sitting down in his seat calmly as the rest of the Waynes stared in horror (minus Tim, who had his head in his hands and muttering about never living this down).
Dan made eye contact with Bruce and grinned, his teeth sharp and needle-like in his too-wide grin, āPass the salt, please,ā
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Time travel fix-it AU where everyone in the batfam came back from a dystopic future where the rest of the family died in some way so now they're back to try and fix it. Thing is each of them lived through different versions of the timeline and none of their catastrophes match. It would be really easy to figure out but they've decided to pretend nothing happened and act as if they're not from the future. They would also have noticed everyone else acting weird if they weren't so focused on hiding their own weirdness and dismissing the changes as "they must have been like that before and I don't remember".
It all ends with the Spider-Men pointing meme and the realization that they no longer know what's going to happen because they've changed it all without communicating so they don't know what the others did or if it undoes what they tried to prevent?
Now imagine if one of them wasn't from the future and was just watching it all develop in a š.
To make matters more complicated, they don't come back at the same time.
Jason's the first one to make it, right before he starts his red hood arc (dystopic future could be anything but let's go with global war). Instead of going through with his original plan, he fucks off out of Gotham, gets into an accelerated high school course, then goes to college. He's still planning to make his way back to Crime Alley eventually and help his community but he doesn't think he'll do so as a crime lord this time. He does not tell his family he's back.
Steph is the second one to make it back, right after Leslie fakes her death (let's say alien invasion for her works out). She finds a way to contact Tim almost immediately but doesn't tell the rest of the family she's back. Instead, she takes over the Red Hood arc (with less death and more chaos) and extends her protection to the Narrows. She teams up with Tim and drives the rest of the bats crazy while also trying to lure Jason out from wherever he's hiding (maybe he's truly dead in this universe?).
Dick is third. He makes it back after Bruce gets lost in the timeline, except in his future Bruce was actually dead and Tim drove himself insane and died on his quest to find proof to bring him back (so maybe Bruce was still lost in the timeline and Dick just never got to find out because Tim died before he could prove it). So he's just constantly flashbacking to everything that went wrong on his version while trying to go out as Batman and preventing Steph(?) from taking the cowl (Jason's still at college but did acknowledge his existence to the other two chaos gremlins if only to let them know his plan for Hood would have been way more effective (it wouldn't have) and make sure they don't end up dying too. They're his siblings after all).
Tim is next (end of the world scenario?). He comes back shortly after Dick, right on time for his conversation with Dick about Bruce being alive, with similar results as the original one but the bonus of a deeply scarred Dick listening with a haunted expression while Tim insists he already has proof but would have to go fetch it real quick (Dick stops him). Eventually, Tim manages to sneak away from Dick's overprotective streak (Damian requires a lot of attention and Dick can't be everywhere at once, no matter how much he might want to) and goes back to his cloning lab. In there he starts designing the device he'll need to bring Bruce back, well aware that he has limited time until Dick decides to come looking (or send the JL) and therefore doesn't have the time to go looking for proof instead of just doing it.
Then there's Cass (villains win?). She comes back right before Dick calls her back to Gotham so she can help him take care of the city instead of trying to do it all by himself (which was what he did the last time and it didn't end well). She gets there just in time to join Batman!Dick, Robin!Damian, and Red Hood!Steph in patrol while Duke sleeps somewhere in the manor.
Damian is sixth. He comes back exactly 17 days after Tim left. In his future, every batkid had the chance to be Batman and died while wearing the mantle, including Bruce himself. Tim was the last one to wear it and sacrificed himself to save Damian. By that time, being the last ones still alive in the batfam, their bond was incredibly strong. Naturally, this translates into Damian immediately losing his shit at not finding Timothy and demanding to go find him in that instant. He also happens to have gotten all of Tim's skill with computers (he pretends he learned it in the league) and knows very well how his brother thinks. Dick agrees reluctantly (you have to understand, up until that moment Damian was very much still saying he wanted to kill Tim). They get there just in time for Tim to have finished his device and, with all the dramatic flair everyone in the batfam possesses, he goes "just in time" and brings Bruce back with a click of a button and a smug grin. Which means...
Bruce gets rescued from the time stream by Tim and immediately goes to hug the kids he thought he'd never see again. You see, from Bruce perspective, he's been trapped for two weeks, captured with the rest of his family by the villain of the (future) week. They decided it was a great idea to torture him by killing everyone in his family in front of him one at a time. They had just killed the last one when Bruce finally managed to get free and went on a rampage, not caring if he made it out alive anymore (there were too many, he didn't, although he did a lot of damage on his way out). Now that he has his family back he does not care much about the world or anything aside from making sure everyone he loves is safe and sound, starting with the three kids in front of him but not finishing until he can gather them all back in the manor where he can keep them safe and happy.
Something something time travel shenanigans where Dick is de-aged to nine years old. Heās a little murder gremlin who wants nothing more than his family, and he canāt get that so settles for bloodlust and revenge. Except now heās in the future where he does a family, even if he doesnāt them yet. He gets to know them over time, he grows particularly close with Alfred, though he loves Bruce and Tim as well. Then he hears someone mention Jason, a boy Dick has never met. Bruce wonāt tell him anything and the others are frustratingly quiet, so Dick does some digging. He finds out he had another brother. The boy in the photos he finds is small and thin, but his smile is one of the brightest things Dick has ever seen. Dick doesnāt understand why Bruce would have kept this from him. Then he finds out more. He learns that Joker killed him, that another person tore his family away from him, that another person he loved was left unavenged.
And Dick gets angry. Not his usual screaming, biting tantrums kind of angry. No, this anger is much colder. He knows from experience that Batman wonāt let him kill, and he knows that for whatever reason the others are probably on board with that, seeing as they havenāt killed Joker either. Dick knows he only has one shot at this, and he has to plan this carefully so he doesnāt give himself away or implicate himself more than he means to. He waits for Joker to break out Arkham, watches him as he takes sanctuary in some old decrepit warehouse, and then executes his grand plan; the last joke that Joker will ever live to see, his last laugh. Nobody really knows how he does it. They all know he did it, but thereās no way to prove it, despite the real story being hysterically implausible. Thereās no way that Joker died slipping on a banana peel, right? It had to be some sort of set up, some sort of foul play or something. After all, several goons mentioned the unnerving cackles coming from all around the building even after theyād found the corpse, the laugh being identical to one theyād heard so many years ago.
Meanwhile, Red Hood is crashing out in distance, upset over the fact that a fucking banana peel managed to spoil all of his carefully laid plans. When heās done with his fit of rage, he catches wind of the fact that people are suspecting that fucking ghost of Robin or some other magical shit is what really killed Joker. Jason has a brief moment where he wonders if thereās actually a 15 year old ghost version of himself that just murked Joker. Then he hears people talking about how the murdererās distinctly creepy cackle, and heās thrown back to the time he was watching footage of Dickās time as Robin and saw him drop 20 feet onto some guys arm while cackling the whole time. Heās so fucking confused by everything that he just decides to stop with the drama and confront Bruce directly. Instead of the reaction he was expecting (tears, shock, fear, denial?) Bruce just sighs and mutters something along the lines of āOf courseā (Bruce is now convinced that tiny Dick raised Jason from the dead somehow so his family can be complete again) before telling Jason that Dick is upstairs and to talk to him. Jason is more than a little annoyed at being brushed off but decides heāll deal with it later because he wants his answers first. His answer comes in the shape of a 9 year old bloodthirsty child sprinting at him full force and latching onto him like a koala bear. After ten minutes, Jason gives up on dislodging him and resigns himself to having to live in the manor for the rest of his life or until they fix Dickās situation (though heās doubtful that adult Dick would be willing to let him go either).
Eventually Dick gets re-aged and does not, in fact, let go of Jason. Bruce tries to confront him multiple times about how he killed Joker but Dick just feigns amnesia. The only bad thing to come out of the situation is the amount of banana-themed items that are gifted to Dick every anniversary of Jokerās death.
Instead of threatening Sam and doing the show, freakshow's circus leaves town with Phantom still under mind control. Team phantom is scrambling. They don't know what to do or how to save Danny aside from waiting for the next stop scheduled for the circus and hoping they show up. However, it's still sometime away and they're running out of excuses to explain Danny's absence.
Meanwhile, in Gotham, Dick has finally convinced everyone in his family to take a break from their night job and go with him to the circus. He's so excited. It's not often that they get to do things like this as a family. Even Jason said yes. Sure, he's all grumpy and complaining but he hasn't left and he's even sitting right by Dick's side. Without prompting. Dick's having the best time.
The show starts and everything's going fine, it's a bit unusual and maybe they have a couple metas but nothing too crazy. Sure, it's kind of edgy, but maybe they're catering to Gotham, god knows not many circuses stop by, not since that incident with the clowns after joker's debut. And maybe that performer over there looks a little like Talia, but there's no way she would ever stoop to doing this. There are many more ways she could and has used to get into Gotham or closer to Damian, this wouldn't even make the list.
And then halfway through the show, Jason, Bruce, and Damian stand up at the same time and leave without a word. Nothing. Dick doesn't worry much at the beginning. Maybe there was a vigilante thing and they didn't want to bother Dick and they'll fix it and come back right away. Maybe they all just went to get snacks. Hell, maybe they all wanted to use the restroom really badly.
30 minutes later and they're still not back. The end of the show comes and goes, still nothing. Dick and his siblings go home, already preparing for the screaming match that's sure to follow as soon as Dick finds Bruce in the manor. Because surely there was not a good enough reason to just leave them there and not even tell them where they were going. Typical Bruce. Wouldn't communicate with anyone even if it... They're not home. Batman hasn't been sighted. All of Jason's safe houses are empty. Alfred (the cat), Titus, and the rest of Damian's animals soon make themselves known, demanding to be fed. Something's wrong.
It's the next day, there's still no news from the three missing bats. The circus seems to have vanished like it was never in Gotham. Dick's cellphone beeps with a message. It's a private number. Seems to be addressed to a group of people instead of just Dick. He notices the numbers of Tim, Cass, Steph, Duke, and Alfred are all included. So are the phones Bruce, Jason, and Damian were using the day before. The message reads: "Did you happen to have misplaced a few family members at the circus? Have they died recently? Or at all?" Dick's horrified to realize he's not the only one for whom the answer to all those questions is yes.
AKA "After Alfred dies, the Batfam need a new chef. Somehow, they find Danny (who totally didn't lie on his resume and absolutely knows how to cook!). Danny just wants Mr. Pennyworth's ghost to stop harassing him." DPxDC prompt idea!
This was inspired by the bajillion other ghost!Alfred prompts, but I literally couldn't get it out of my head. Specifically, how bad Danny would be as a chef. But I also want Danny to somehow heal the Wayne's grief a little?
Damian is the first one to notice how the Manor's kitchen looks different. While Bruce, Tim, and Damian still live in the Manor, Bruce and Tim refuse to enter the kitchen. Bruce even (politely) refuses to eat the food Mr. Fenton cooks. (Damian hadn't known Alfred Pennyworth for very long but he had respected him all the same. Even so, he refuses to let his loss prevent him from walking around his own home.) So, of course, Damian notices.
It starts subtly. Mr. Fenton, their new chef, left several recipe books on the kitchen counter. It's not unusual for a chef to do so but it's jarring since Mr. Pennyworth always made sure to keep the kitchen spotless. Next, are chrysanthemum flowers in a vase. Notes pinned to the fridge with colorful magnets. Star-themed tea towels hanging off the oven door. A small hydroponic garden plugged in on the counter top. Mr. Fenton starts to listen to music - an odd mixture between country and classical, sometimes listening to a podcast about NASA or World War II. It's not obnoxiously loud but it can be heard over the bubbling of soup, Mr. Fenton chopping veggies, and occasional humming.
It's like the entire kitchen transforms with new life. Sounds, colors, movement, the scent of fresh herbs and tomato sauce. Damian stays hidden in the hallway as he silently observes.
Until he sees the cookbook flip several pages and a bottle of pepper flakes floats above the sauce pan, shaking until they flutter out. Mr. Fenton heaves an exasperated sigh and groans, "Al! I was going to add them! Ancients, if you wanted to cook, you should'a just done it."
It's several more minutes of a one-sided conversation before Damian decides either he's hallucinating (not likely given Mr. Fenton would also need to be hallucinating) or Mr. Pennyworth is... a ghost. Haunting the Manor. And somehow Mr. Fenton can see him, can communicate with him. It wouldn't be the strangest thing to happen - Damian has seen the dead revived, had the displeasure of speaking with John Constantine, and he himself has been in Hell. A ghost would be underwhelming. But the ghost of Alfred Pennyworth?
Good thing Damian is the son of the world's greatest detective. He will figure this out.
(Cue Damian recruiting Thomas, Cain, and Brown - those least familiar with Pennyworth and therefore less likely to be swayed by the ghosts of the past - to investigate Fenton's clearly meta status.)
((Alfred is surprisingly busy for a dead man. If only his new charge didn't have the cooking skills of Master Bruce. Nonetheless, Alfred has never backed down from a challenge before; he'll not do so now.))
Love the implication that Bruce's adoption problem didn't just develop out of thin air. First thing Alfred does once he's dead and can't be seen by his family? Find a new charge to take care of and get him added to the family in some way. Now if only he could leave him unsupervised for a bit so he could go have tea with his dear friends Martha and Thomas, he hasn't seen them in forever and he's tired of refusing their invitations.
Prompt idea where Danny goes back in time and meets Wonder Woman. It could be on Themyscira during the infini-map situation but Iām personally partial to him meeting Diana during the World Wars.
The basics of it is that for whatever reason, one of the speedsters, a random time traveler, a ghost, or because Clockwork needs Danny to learn something there, he sends him into the past and he quickly ends up meeting Wonder Woman and helping her. He decides to stay with her until heās finished whatever mission Clockworkās sent him on and she ends up all but adopting him.
Sheās teaching him all her sword tricks and how to fight without relying on his powers as much. The end up getting closer and closer and quickly get to the point where Danny starts subconsciously seeing her as a mother figure. To the point where he accidentally calls her mom, to his eternal mortification. Diana takes this all in stride though, secretly happy that her little warrior called her mom.
Things happen and eventually Danny has to go back to his own time period and his actual life. Itās a very tearful goodbye but it ends with Diana giving Danny a golden wreath crown as a moment of her and her mentally promising to find her little warrior again. Sheās fairly certain now that heās going to be born some time in the future. She doesnāt have much to go off of but gods damn it is she going to try!
Cut to some years later and Diana has become one of the founding members of the Justice League. She still has not found her son but she doesnāt say anything to the other members because she honestly canāt be sure if heās even been born yet. This all is thrown out the window though when one of the JL members bring up reports of this ghost boy in this little town in the middle of nowhere Illinois. She sees a picture of it an yep, thatās her little boy! Heās even wearing the wreath so that mean heās met her! She can go see him without risk to the timeline!
She practically sprints all the way to Amity only to find that heās not here? None of the townsfolk know anything but when she starts instead looking for his human persona she isnāt able to find anything. Itās only when she investigates his parents that she hears, holy shit heās whimpering in the basement!? She bursts in, ready to defend her baby but the scene she come in on is worse than anything she can imagine. There, on an operating table, is her baby boy. Opened like a gods damned high school science class frog! She can see his organs and knows some of them have been removed.
She does her best to sew him back together and hopes to the gods that his healing will be enough to get him to the Watchtower, all the while heās crying and calling her mom and saying it hurts, when his parents come back into the lab, guns blazing, ready to fight whatever ghost dared to take their specimen. They were not, however, ready for a very angry and protective mama Wonder Woman whoās fully ready to kill at this point.
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So, we all know Danny is pretty young for a ghost. Like, yeah he's 20 now and in college and living with his friends in Gotham but his core is like 6 years old.
Non of the ghost around him really gave his core 'caring parent' vibes (except maybe Clockwork and Frostbite but they feel more like grandfathers or mentors to him) so he never ended up forming a parental bond like most young ghosts do
In comes Jason from stage left
You see, Jason isn't much older than Danny really, just a year or so
BUT
The PIT is
The pit that's infected him and basically made his core how it is today.
So from an outside perspective, he feels like a much older ghost.
Well, neither of them know that. So they start hanging out, become friends and on both ends they each think they may be developing feelings for each other but something's not right.
For Jason, he knows he cares for Danny very much. He loves to see him smile and laugh and enjoys cooking for him and exchanging gifts but when Dickie bird asks if he's "down bad" all he can think is "Ew no"
But why? They're about the same age, Danny is cute and fit and has a great personality but....
Thinking of him like that gives him the ick. Danny's like his sweet baby boy! He could never think of him like that.
Wait..
On Danny's side, his bff's are on him about how obviously he has feelings for Jay! They spend so much time together, and he's hot af!
And Danny cuts them off like, "Guys, I get it but please don't call him hot. Yall saying that feels the same as when Vlad calls my mom hot, it's gross" and Sam and Tuck are both like huh?!?!? WTF DO YOU MEAN?!?!? And Danny has to stop and think, wait, what do I mean?!?
So Danny ends up going to ask Frostbite about it and Frosties all "Ah! It seems the two of you may have formed a type of parent/child bond! Congratulations on finally finding someone who you feel comfortable enough to do so with!"
...
.......
WHAT!?
Danny is flabbergasted
"But..but he's like, my age!? How does that even work!?"
Now Danny has to somehow explain to his new dad friend that they somehow "ghost parent bonded" or something without sounding like some kinda weirdo freak
Bruce and Vlad freaking hate eachother. Its a known, very public fact. Bruce doesn't even slip into his Brucie persona to deal with Vlad, thats how much they hate eachother.
Danny is Vlad's heir, mostly against his will. Danny only says mostly because he did eventually agree to the situation, but only after Vlad threatened to make Dani his heir, which would tie her down and steal her freedom. So now, Danny has the "fun" job of learning how to run a company, and invest.
Tim is Bruce's CoCEO, and its pretty well known hes more than likely going to take over the company at some point. He already did at one point, he was already a CEO, he had a large quantity of WE's shares, and Damian, as he grew and matured, seemed less and less interested in being CEO once he saw all the paperwork, and morons Tim and his Father had to deal with daily.
Do Danny and Tim share the VladCo vs WE feud? No, its quite the opposite in fact. Everyone with eyes can see how fond the two young men are of eachother. As much fun as the Bruce v Vlad verbal brawls are to watch, watching Danny and Tim dance around eachother like twitterpated sparrows is even more fun to experience.
But, Bruce and Vlad are quick to yank the two young men away from eachother. And its heartbreaking for everyone to witness, and or read as the two young men are kept apart by their stubborn bosses.
Basically, Romeo and Juliet but if it was Corporate, Gay, and the dead guy is only half dead.
