Sunshine and Arsenic

Fancy Collection - Jackalope Plushies

Ghost Plushie with Glow in the Dark Eyes!

Various directors: Superheroes are all sexy heterosexual white rich kids who are geniuses and—

My trademark Halloween blue slime is a beverage that has been described as both “bad” and “wrong.” I think the nicest thing anyone has ever said about it is “I don’t hate it,” and that’s because other people cowards.

If you, too, want to torment your friends and family with Slime™ this year, here’s what you’re going to want to do. Buy a package of Jello powder in whatever color you want your drink to be. I think that green and blue are the funniest and have made both, but settled on blue for good my senior year of high school when having a neon blue beverage that everyone else hated seemed like the perfect complement to my Newton Geiszler costume. (I was right.) Realistically, Jello colors are pretty much all neon, so whichever one you choose, the laboratory abomination aesthetic will stick

Prepare your jello as normal, but don’t let it set entirely. Basically, you want parts of it to be firm/set, but for there to still be a certain amount of liquid (since that will make the colors mix more evenly with the rest of your ingredients). Mix your half-set Jello slime with some lemon-lime soda, which is clear, and thus doesn’t dilute the horrible color you have going on but adds a weird, mysterious fizz to the whole affair (and makes it more of a drink). I like to also add lemonade since it complements the flavor, and if you do it in a smaller amount usually the color intensity isn’t too affected. You could probably put in anything you want, up to and including alcohol, but I’ve only ever done the lemonade and lemon-lime soda combo and throwing some vodka into the mix might be an act of hubris beyond measure, since I’m not sure the slime needs to be worse. The proportions are up to you, depending on what flavor you’re going for. Really, the important part is 1) there is a significant quantity of slimy Jello bits in it, thus producing a texture some people would can “awful” and 2) you add something with fizz, to make it look even more like a lab accident

Fair warning, I am the only person I’ve ever met who actually likes this. That said, if you want to brave the terrible concoction yourself, be my guest! And report back to me with your conclusions. Remember, it’s only science if you write it down.

In conclusion, have a baby cosplay Newt, er Nate from 2014, to illustrate the Very Bad Drink that you too can inflict on yourself and loved ones:

DM: in the carnivorous flowers, yes

Punk Collection - Jackalope Plushies

Punk Collection - Jackalope Plushies

Jackalope Plushies - Kawaii Collection

Available from Nerd Bird Studios on Etsy!

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok