Oh Shit Whaddup

you ever just hand things to ur pet to sniff so they can feel included

man they really just dug up king richard iii in a fucking car park

everyone was like "nah he wasn't dsiabled thats tudor lies" and then they dug up his royal scoliosisness and were like ah. the tudors were right. mostly.

and right after horrible histories dropped a banger track about him with the sadly incorrect lyrics "never had a limp, always walked my full height, never had a hump, and my arm was alright" like no girl that's not true :(

per my last desperate howl at the heavens,

you know those like really edgy traumacore edits or whatever. can i have one of those but its about eating a cheese when ur lactose intolerant

Single-handedly waging the War on Christmas

Dante and Vergil

hang on i gotta look something up

this is a long fuckin poem

girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go like feathers falling from an angel's wings

CLEANING THE SHOWER DRAIN AGAIN

the weed dispensaries should ask if you would like to round up your purchase to donate to PBS. and if you say yes you get to scan a QR code that gives you 30-day free access to the full run of antiques roadshow. this is how drugs can win the war on drugs again.

usamericans living in houses made out of paper set an impossible standard of masculinity for angry men in other countries

kyoulle (french kyle) downing a nicotine redbull and attempting to put a hole through the thousand year old cobblestone wall in his bedroom

i've seen things you people are probably already familiar with

protests in LA against unlawful deportations being called an insurrection after one single day of unrest. martial law is next. the playbook is not hard to read.

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

History is written by victors

yeah well Victor fucking bit me