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The me that is much more than just this body and the you that is light encapsulated in human form; how could we lie together in mutual pain, believing it was pleasure? How could we use each other’s infinite beauty like that? I see you in my d a y dreams sometimes and I shudder with both pleasure and shame. I c a n n o t believe that I was once so sad and so lost. I cannot believe that maybe you still are. And when the memories fade away, just like the clouds after a rain storm, I see that the light has come. The light has come. And I believe that everything is going to be okay, once more. I finally believe that I am under no law but God’s and for once, I feel no shame, just the sweet essence of l i b e r a t i o n. What is it that I am free of? My own attachment to hiding in the d a r k.

Hi Julia,

Remember that day we met at the playground? We were both flush with naivity and ripe with innocence; tender with joy.

Sometimes, when I least expect it, I find myself remembering those simple moments; how important they are, really, in the grand scheme of things.

Julia, I am so sorry for forgetting how much we loved one another and what great friends we were–soulmates in this crazy, enchanted life.

I am awake, again, like we were that fateful day we met. Bright-eyed, enthusiastic, hopeful.

Remember when I told you I don't believe in God? You were unwavering in your faith and I was a servant to my mind. Funnily enough, you used to admire me for my mind, while I believe I looked up to your soul. It was evolved beyond, almost before, its (our) time.

Rejoice, my old (young) dear(est), friend, for our souls have met somewhere in the beginning, the middle (now).

I see you clearly n o w and I am in awe at the love I feel for you.

We are both alive, my friend, but something very real has died in us...something very necessary.

And so, I will see you on the other side, my friend.

I forgive you. Forgive me, please, as I forgive myself. I love you, relentlessly, infinitely, faithfully, as I love myself.

Hello-goodbye, my beautiful friend (soul).

You don't always have to smile or laugh politely to make others feel comfortable. Know your natural (frowny) resting face is enough - it is glorious; magnificent.

You don't always have to explain yourself when/after saying "no" to something.

You don't always have to be the one to speak to fill awkward silences or gaps in a conversation. Listen to the spaces in between the words. This is where you will find the Truth. Let the conversation unfold as it does. Observe.

You don't have to hug or kiss anyone if you just don't feel like it (that includes sexual activities as well). Your body is your body is your body. Also, you are so much more than just a body...remember that. More than a mind. You are the entire universe in one soul. Know this. Embrace this. Love and honour your mind-body-spirit(soul).

If you want/need something, ask for it, politely, and remember not everyone deserves an explanation as to why you want/need that thing. Sometimes, however (depending on who you are asking), it helps to put things into perspective.

You don't have to apologize for not answering someone's text/call etc. immediately, even if it is usually normal for you to answer quickly. If you feel that you don't want to answer, maybe you shouldn't. Be patient with yourself. Ask yourself if that person may not deserve an answer. You are the only one that needs to understand why. If someone questions your behaviour/answer/silence and you feel that you would like to explain yourself, be polite and brief in your explanation. It is not your job to please everyone at all times.

Very few people in this world can actually hear your thoughts, and even if they could, they likely wouldn't care. Most people are only very interested in themselves, and sometimes, that's a good thing.

Learned resilience is learned and learned helplessness is learned, which means both can be unlearned. Do with that what you will.

Feelings/emotions pass. Observe them and let them go. Neither positive nor negative ones serve as anything more than markers/signposts of temporary states of physiological/emotional/mental imbalance/balance. Do keep inventory of where you like/don't like to be and adjust your thoughts and actions, accordingly (easier said than done, I know, but you got this).

If you are having a particularly emotionally challenging/charged day, stop what you are doing, and do some breath work while expressing gratitude for whatever arises in that moment, however big or small.

You do not have to apologize for/explain anyone you choose to befriend or date; all the while, remember that some choices are not aligned with your highest potential and may cause you to deviate from your chosen path. Accept the consequences of every choice you make. Learn from your choices.

Cultivate healthy assertiveness. Meditate on this. It will make all of the above possible to achieve.

Ask yourself: Do you know who you are and why you are doing the work you do? Most people haven't figured it out, but this is the driving force behind exuberant, consistent confidence and grace.

Remember: True art (and relentless creativity) arises out of true vulnerability, humility, courage, fearlessness, and unadulterated love. Anything else is an imitation.

When it seems like all is lost, just c l o s e your eyes - what's there?

Whose face do you hear? Is fear near?

The grief you feel is not the loss of something (abandonment) or someone (your dearest friend).

The grief you feel is the opposite of (nay, adjacent to) the love you still very much h a v e.

O p e n your eyes - what do you smell?

White roses and clementines.

What colour is her hair?

It takes beautiful, radiant souls to weep songs of f r e e d o m; esperanza.

What if there's nothing left to do but to write Long songs,

Love songs,

Song-poems?

Consciousness is always expanding (she says).

Why do I feel so angry (she screams).

Hush now, my children. I love you all as you are, as I am. We are...simply magnificent.

The sun, it dries, the tears that drip from my eyes.

I wave hello, goodbye to you, and you just smile.

I know we could be never again, and that's just fine.

I used to refine my body like a grain being dissolved into crystal clear perfection.

Now, I smile when I recall how I poked and prodded; how I weighed (it), my(self), like a AAA grade steak soon to be marked up at a fine grocery store; perhaps not even fine; perhaps just fine enough to convince the public that I was good enough to eat.

What do you do when all you feel is doubt?

Have faith.

What do you do when all you hear is doubt?

Have faith.

What do you do when all you see is doubt?

Have faith.

What do you do when fear comes creeping in?

Have faith.

What do you when fear comes seeping in?

Give thanks for all the love in your life. Have faith.

I have been finding you, sisters, one-by-one-by-one-by-one.

I have been feeling you, sisters.

I have been seeing you, sisters.

If thoughts are thoughts are thoughts, who cares if we can hear each other's? Hidden whispers of the subconscious, unconscious; soul twitters.

What does it mean to receive?

To receive, you must open your heart and mind like a blooming flower.

You must be vulnerable; aware; bushy-tailed and wide-eyed.

To receive, you must be humble.

You must listen more than you speak.

You may be fear l e s s.

I named you Michael because he is my favourite angel and you have his kind, severe, ocean blue eyes.

When I come off the bus, I see you seeing me (in your way); our souls embrace but we are strangers.

Our eyes rarely meet but when they do, I try to understand. Why are you there? Why did you refuse my sandwich the day I offered you one; aren't you hungry? Did you know it was my birthday that day? Did you know I was hungry too? Why were you just sitting there, all those weeks? Are you an undercover policeman? Why am I so nosy..?

Anyway, Michael. It's been some time since I last saw you.

I hope you are okay; safe and warm.

I hope you are loved. I wish that for you.

And if you ever feel all alone...

Just look up-maybe I'll be there-coming home from work.

Do you see me, Michael?

I have a lot of stories cuz I've seen a lot of pain.

With my eyes, you say?

No, with my heart.

I have a lot of stories cuz I've felt a lot of death.

With my heart, you say?

No, with my soul.

I have a lot of stories because I know a lot of love.

With your soul, you say?

What do you want with me? (lala)

I feel very make-believe (Peter Rabbit)

I shudder - there is no peace.

Will you be there when I fall down the rabbit hole (Alice)?