Just Doing My Best

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

all i care about regarding trc graphic novels is adam parrish and any pynch crumbs. send them all to me. idgaf about anything else

Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

382752488261 unique posts remain

listen, man, I don't appreciate this kind of pressure. I'm posting as often as I can. I spent this morning shoving store-bought eggs down a dead guy's throat. Some of us have jobs, man

happy pride month to kevin day and all of his handlers

here’s how natasha pierre & the great comet of 1812 can still sweep

No one wants to admit this but you don’t actually have to eat eggs and dairy for breakfast. Farmers just did that because they’d milk the cows and collect eggs in the morning. You can literally make a sandwich or a bowl of pasta or really anything you want for breakfast. There isn’t some medical reason you have to eat cereal and milk or fried eggs in the morning—our idea of “breakfast food” is an entirely artificial construct. Do what makes you happy.

actually i’ve done a lot of work on myself since we last spoke and i wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself and that i hope you die

interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN