Just a Thing

(via bsky)

This sick bleach shirt I made. Something to showcase my undying love for prehistoric cave art.

The Amur Leopard and Clouded Leopard (which recently celebrated its 50th cub born at the zoo!)

The Sumatran Tiger

The Red Ruffed Lemur and Ring-Tailed Lemur

The Cotton-Top Tamarin and White-Cheeked Gibbon

The Colobus Monkey and De Brazza’s Monkey

And the Mexican Spider Monkey!

That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.

It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching to, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed, with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.

I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this (is anyone's?), I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?

Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any real difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?

- Waiting in line at the store and the person behind you creeps closer and closer to try to pressure you forward, and ends up violating your personal space and making you uncomfortable, because they think creeping closer and pressuring the person in line in front of them will somehow get them through the line faster (it won't)

- Going through a self-serve buffet, and the person behind you keeps creeping closer and closer to try to pressure you to serve your food faster and get a move on. All it achieves is that you can't scoop your soup without elbowing them, and that's somehow your fault

- Crossing a crosswalk when the car waiting for you to cross creeps closer and closer to you to try to intimidate you into crossing faster (because using a 2 ton metal machine to try to intimidate a fleshy little ape you could easily kill with said 2 ton metal machine isn't acting like a bully at all no sir-ee)

- Honestly a huge heap of the poor treatment of service workers is also rooted in this sense of urgency in things that are not actually urgent

Not just getting on the same flight, but the majority of the time already having assigned seats! The plane isn't going to just pull away while passengers are still boarding, your seat will still be your seat, why the urgency?

People have always been like this in airports, and maybe I'm just noticing it more, but I feel like in the past few years this sense of urgency in airports has gotten worse. I get some people might be running late for their flight due to extenuating circumstances, but that doesn't excuse being rude. It's not fair to punish random strangers at the airport if you're running late for your flight. That's your problem, not theirs.

If it's really urgent and genuinely extenuating circumstances, then use your words ("I'm so sorry but I had a family emergency this morning so now I'm running really late for my flight, do you mind if I go ahead of you?") rather than push / shove / elbow / cut in line / violate other people's person space.

You don't have to be a jerk about it. The most effective yet civil way of dealing with harmful "humor" is just pretending you don't get the joke and asking them to explain. "I don't get it, what's girl math? What's a girl dinner? What do you mean by you're just a girl? Can you explain the joke to me?"

It really does feel like we've done a massive backsliding in gender stereotyping over the past few years and it's honestly alarming.

Not just the "girl x / boy x" like "girl math" to mean being stupid and bad at math, or these "lol girl dinner" posts where it's a can of energy drink and half a jar of olives.

You know human sexism is out of hand when we have to project "boys are silly lovable goofballs, but girls are cold and mean" onto animals who have no concept of and absolutely do not adhere to human gender roles and stereotypes.

The sad thing is that this has real world consequences for these animals. On average, male cats and kittens have shorter stays at shelters due to being adopted quicker than female cats and kittens. I have no concrete proof that this is due to stereotypes of boy cats as lovable goofballs but girl cats as cold and mean, but my own lived experience is that I know several people who have prioritized adopting male cats and kittens due to this (incorrect and sexist) assumption.

Of course cats all have different personalities, if you've ever had cats you know this. But it has no basis in gender roles or stereotypes. I've had boy cats who were aloof and unfriendly, and I've had girl cats who were sweet little cuddlebugs with everyone they met.

She stopped because I wasn't laughing. (Also he turned out to have a heart condition so it was good that I told her to get him to the hospital)

(Edit: sorry didn't finish my thought)

Like there's so many "jokes" that just aren't funny once you need to explain them. It really makes people think a bit harder. Like old coworker saying "my husband is an idiot, he keeps falling asleep on his tractor" or "my husband is an idiot he fell asleep in his chair and spilled his beer"

Although that's not to say that weaponized incompetence is the culprit every time. For example, in my family and among my in-laws there are plenty of men who genuinely want to do more of the cooking and/or baking for family gatherings, but their girlfriend or wife doesn't allow it because they want everything to be perfect, and think allowing a man in the kitchen will result in less than perfect food that doesn't wow the guests the way she wants. (Yes, even here in supposedly oh-so gender equal Iceland people get weird and sexist about things like this)

My uncle has weaponized incompetence. He used to break the lawnmower so he wouldn't have to mow the lawn. After the third time my Gramma made him fix it. He's still sexist as hell randomly but when he says something and I reply, no wonder you're divorced, he gets really quiet. (Especially if he says something to my husband like an hour later, looking for support, and my husband is like... Oh yeah it's not surprising you're divorced).