sunglow mango

The players (convinced there's some sort of murder cult going on) started scouring the setting for men. The pre-written module's village contained only one female character: the wife of the blacksmith. Unnamed. Which of course was all the more suspicious to them.

There was absolutely nothing my friend could do to convince his players that there wasn't a great conspiracy or at least a basement full of dead dudes." / end tweets

Reply shows tags reading, "this could be a new 'Bechdel' test: if you gender swap all the characters does it feel like something must have happened to all the men?"

Last image is an xkcd comic showing Treebeard from Lord of the Rings talking to the (all male) Fellowship. He says "Alas, there are no Ent women. The Entwives all vanished in the second age, during Sauron's war."

Aragorn replies, "I'm so sorry."

Treebeard: "And what about you all? Same story, I assume?"

This is a form of backdoor bigotry from both normative facts (there are more straight than gay relationships) and well represented bigoted beliefs (men are superior to women).

I often talk about reality checking and going along with it when helping someone deal with delusions, but I felt as if I didn’t really make it clear to what I meant when I said it.

First box: Have they asked you to give them reality checks when they have a delusion. Green “yes” leads to a green box reading: Reality Check. Pink “no” leads to a pink box reading: Let it be / Go Along With It. Black “no, but im still worried” leads to a box reading: Have you asked if you can give them reality checks and they said?

Green “yes” leads to a green box reading: Reality Check. Pink “no” leads to a pink box reading: Let it be / Go Along With It. Black “they said no but im still worried” leads to box reading: Have you asked if there is anything else you can do instead.

Green “yes” leads to green box reading: Do that instead. Pink “no” leads to a pink box reading: Let it be / Go Along With It.

Image #2: Pink box with text reading: What Letting it Be / Going Along With It Is Not: (red “X” bullet points)

adding new information to the delusion / trying to send your friend deeper into the delusion

“that must be scary to believe something that isn’t real”

“keep that to yourself, the more you talk about it the more you’ll encourage yourself”

dismissing your friend’s delusions, saying “everyone thinks like that once in awhile.”

trying to distract your friend from their delusion or act as if it’s a game

What Letting it Be / Going Along With It Is: (blue checkmark bullet points)

allowing your friend to vent or express themselves ( sometimes just talking about their delusions out loud can help them question it )

“I’m so sorry that you’re going through that”

encouraging your friend to express their delusions through poetry, song, art, or other non-harmful things they enjoy

“If that becomes too over whelming for you, you can call me and ask for comfort or a distraction”

allowing your delusional friend to feel safe around you, allowing them to healthily express themselves

Image #3: Green box with text reading: What Reality Checking Is Not: (red “X” bullet points)

“Snap out of it, it’s just a delusion.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Think about it for a second, then you’ll snap out of it”

forcing your friend into the hospital

calling the police on your friend

trying to fix or stop the delusion

What Reality Checking Is: (blue “checkmark” bullet points)

“Could you describe the evidence you have for your belief?”

“How firm are you with this belief? Would you be okay with other suggestions on what could be happening?”

“You’re going to be okay, what you’re fearing won’t hurt you.”

“Can we take a step back? Is what you’re going through effecting those around you?”

“Has what you believe happened to anyone else? What is the likeliness of this being real?”

Helping your friend question the delusion or become aware of how the delusion is affecting them.

So I had a job interview today and there was a dude in the waiting room who was chatting up every AFAB person in the waiting room whether they responded or not, and kept going “Hey I’m real good at Origami Swans you want one?” and then writing his number on sticky notes before making paper cranes and handing them to his latest target before turning his attention to the next lady in his vicinity.  A little sad, a lot annoying, but unlikely to be dangerous.  Whatever.

Dude gets to me.  We have half a conversation where he asks me personal questions and I don’t look up from my phone.  I get my “Swan”.  I’m the last AFAB person in the room so he’s kinda sitting there.

I get to a post about a friend needing moral and/or spiritual support before a medical procedeure, so my ADHD ass goes Oh hey, we have an animal effigy we could sacrifice to the relevant gods! So I take out my lighter and burn the swan roughly 23 seconds after the dude gave it to me, and crush the ashes in my hand because I belatedly realize there’s no sink for me to throw this in.  Oh well.  Purell the ashes off.

I look up.  Dude, and everyone else in the waiting room is staring at me.

“You, uh.  Smoke?” Dude tries.

What I Meant To Say: “No I just carry a lighter as a holdover from survival camp as a kid, and if I’m wearing synthetic fabrics that start to ravel, I can use the flame to melt them a bit so they stop.”

What I Actually Said: “No I just have one in case I need to set something on fire.”

I put the lighter away.  The hiring manager comes out and calls my name.  I go back and have what I think was a reasonably sucessful job interview.  I come back out.

Dude, and half of the other candidates are GONE.