BoJack Horseman's "I do love you, by the way. I mean, as much as I’m capable of loving anyone. Which is never enough. I’m sorry." is so aro-coded

recently i have been very content, but today i feel very sad. because at the forefront of my mind is the fact that i spent the majority of my developmental years depressed and dysfunctional instead of learning how to be a person. and learning how to be a person after the time that was specifically allotted to you by your human brain and also society is really difficult because it’s like. reshaping all of your internal processes and reforming neural pathways. and i hate it, i hate every day waking up in my unwashed sheets and going to sleep laying my face on my unwashed pillowcase, i hate walking into my bathroom and seeing the dirty messy counter, i hate my dirty messy room, i hate that i did my laundry months ago after not doing it for months but i never folded two of the loads so they have sat there in a wadded mess, i hate that i don’t do the hobbies i have been wanting to do for years, i hate that books lie unread and my embroidery untouched and my crochet unlearned. and i hate that i feel this way every day but i don’t have the tenacity or perseverance to do all the things to fix it. i hate that i procrastinate and i hate that even though i see these messes, i don’t clean them up, i don’t make my room nice to live in, i hate that i can’t take care of myself. i hate that i want to learn to cook for myself but i don’t do it. i hate that living and working or doing school means i never have the energy to be a person. i hate that even when im not working or doing school, i still don’t have the energy to be a person, because it’s like i’ve never been one before, doing everything all at once. because being a person is so much and means doing so many things. i hate that even when i am happy and i am doing well, i don’t know how to be a person, and i hate that it feels so hard to learn.

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok