sup i'm fable, which is long for fay. ppl usually call me spark though which is cool.
fandom stuff goes on @voidfishplurality. Most of my reblogs are queued unless they're especially relevant to the current moment.
i'm writing an anthology of experimental short stories chronicling the myriad of poor decisions made by a mediocre wizard's apprentice who only mostly exists
i really want you to tell me about your OC. for real.
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really sad how AI is affecting the job market. there used to be real job openings for people with my specific skill set. i've been doing this since I was a child. i spent decades becoming an incredible sycophant and yes man and now everyone is going to chatGPT for meaningless affirmations. chatGPT is literally just guessing words, it can't address the weaknesses of your psyche and exploit them to make you think you're right about your awful idea. so many people are experiencing having a personality-free absence of a person who keeps telling you how great you are and they don't realize how good it can REALLY be, because chatGPT will only cater to the average person. not me. when i do my art (become a personality-free absence of a person) you can't even compare it. you deserve a bespoke fawner. whats the point
it's wild that popular discourse around migraines is that there are too many people who claim to have migraines but "just have bad headaches". this is the exact opposite of my experience? i'm still trying to convince several of my friends that their "bad tension headaches" that are unilateral, throbbing, cause light sensitivity, nausea, etc, are migraines lmao. migraine is underdiagnosed and undertreated by every metric i can think of.
this narrative is not harmless! it prevents people from getting treatment that could really benefit them. so i would like it to die. thank you.
As an added fun fact, the VAST and overwhelming majority of "sinus headaches" are also migraines. There is almost no such thing, ESPECIALLY when the sinus pressure and pain come with no actual runny nose or mucus in general. A migraine without the type of pain we've come to associate with it is called a silent migraine, and sinus pressure is one of the ways it can manifest, along with the usual weirdness like stroke symptoms (which I had when the migraines were at their worst. Stormy weather and progesterone together with pms had me lose the ability to comprehend human speech for about 15 minutes and it was terrifying).
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fun fact holes in the ground created by bison rolling in mud form important habitats for other creatures, providing shallow ponds for amphibians to lay their eggs
This is why I firmly believe that children with sticks and shovels should be a integral part of any habitat management plan where reintroducing bison and other large herbivores is not feasible
"There's one guy who's degree was in comparative mythology, of all things." <- guy who hasn't been paying attention to the world-building folklore intercuts
Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.
Who wants a small essay about Neanderthal vampires! Time to move this screed from the groupchat to the internet at large! I have to actually eat at some point during this lunch break, and maybe posting this will let me relax long enough to grab a power bar. Please ignore how much I switch between tenses.
Neanderthal vampires exemplify community. They live much longer, emphasizing the importance of elders. They require the community to live even more so than others; they can survive from animal blood but become sickly. They must feed from their people. As elders require the community to live, so do vampires. They are the heart of a strong family. They lend their strength and experience, and in return the community feeds them.
They are not considered predatory. They are a rare and fragile gift. They need a strong group to support them to begin with, even before they can help support their people.
It is a very rare group that can support two at once. Sires are not counted on to support fledglings. Rather, the community teaches a new fledgling based on cultural knowledge.
A family may approach a larger, established group with the request to turn one of theirs.
I have chosen to interpret Neanderthal language capabilities as existent, but utilized less than humans. They would come across as extremely terse, favoring demonstrations and body language above words.
Vampires would also serve as the main source of record keeping across generations. Without written language and with much less of a tradition of spoken language, vampires would serve as a repository of information across generations.
A lone vampire is considered a tragedy. To outlive your family is terrible. They might join another family, but there is a cultural expectation that they might also commit suicide.
Neanderthals are noted from genetic records as having females join other families while males stayed with their birth family. The cultural reasons behind this are lost to prehistory, so I have chosen to creatively interpret this as women leaving home at the cusp of adulthood to find a new group, as a reversal of commonly assumed human gender roles. They would take on the role we associate today with "young bucks". Possibility more sexually forward, possibly seen as braver than men.
Because of this, female vampires are more likely to find a new family than male vampires. It is expected that a female vampire may be part of multiple family groups before succumbing to grief or accident, while a male vampire is expected to die with their first family.
After all, a female vampire's first community that she took care of likely would not be the one she was born into. She would have experience in finding and joining a new family.
Men would be considered to be prone to grief, and so are not as heavily favored to become vampires. There are instances, though rare, of male vampires who's family have died becoming predatory towards those who killed them. It's considered a great tragedy, and any local vampires are called together to stop them. This is strongly associated with grief-stricken vampires striking out against homo sapien groups, but in practicality, this likely happens just as often against other Neanderthal groups.
This is one of the reasons women are favored for vampirism, since they are considered to be less prone to grief. Vampirism is not strictly segregated by gender, however. It's a trend rather than a rule. The choice of who to turn depends much more on the individual family that is considering having a member turned. The person would be selected from a relatively small group, so individual personality and skillset would be much more relevant. Gender would have an influence, but it would not be the deciding factor.
Denisovans populated islands much more than Neanderthals. There isn't any evidence of them traveling between islands, but it is entirely possible considering how little information we have about them. If vampires could not cross running water, then perhaps they would be unable to travel with their family to different islands. Considering Philippino vampire analogous stories, perhaps this plays into vampires being a danger rather than a member of the community.
Neanderthals would consider them to be stricken by grief, as that is how they characterize their own predatory vampires. Abandoned by their family and unable to travel island to island, Denisovan vampires would be vulnerable to starvation. Characterizing them as driven mad by grief would be an easy way to make sense of them.
All this to say, a Neanderthal vampire would be confused and horrified at the common perception of vampires today. A solitary, predatory figure who maintains secrecy would be repugnant to them.
Also, if a Neanderthal vampire did survive to today, she is more likely to be a woman.
The last Neanderthal vampire would call modern vampires grief-mad, comparing them to orphaned vampires of her own traditions, and vampires from Denisovan customs. This would not make sense to anyone but her anymore.
Perhaps she would blame herself for not teaching homo sapiens how to have vampire family members, and instead letting Denisovan customs be the dominant force.
After all, as a woman, it would be her duty to take on another family and carry on her traditions. A man might be forgiven for giving up out of grief, but she is supposed to be above that, even if no one else expects that anymore.
The last Neanderthal would never again be at full strength. Homo sapien blood would certainly feed her better than animal blood, but it is not the same. She would never again be fed by her people. She will never see them again.
Likely, she would end up adopting human families in central Asia, perhaps up into Russia. Rural, isolated families that would not expose her to the modern world. Perhaps she hibernated shortly after she lost the last of her people in Gibraltar. Perhaps she never knew they were there, and despaired too soon.
Either way, she has had almost 40,000 years of being weakened and lonely. Who is to say if she even remembers what it is like to be fed by members of her own species. Who can say how deep her grief runs.
listen you NEED to borrow that book from the library. i know youve got like 10 other books lined up to be read but you need to go to the library. remind the library that it's loved and cherished
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the year started off very strong with the knight of the seven kingdoms (this was truly a blessing, and yet it was 30 minutes per week...if that's not microdosing idk what is), we got from (obviously on season 4 but still a strong comeback of a one-ep-per-week show in the year 2026, not cancelled but renewed for a 5th final season), we got widow's bay (new, weekly and renewed for season 2!!!), there was also euphoria (whatever you say, a VERY popular show with weekly eps instead of an 8 ep drop at midnight standard time or whatever), now obviously iwtv came back (also weekly god bless i don't think i would be even able to comprehend this show if it just dropped all its episodes at once, it would be actually harmful to the show itself and to the perception of it because there is soooo much to chew onto for the whole week!), heated rivalry is of course another fantastic example and i also think the firefighter show (911?) is weekly too from what i am witnessing on my dash so........ dare i say.........we are so back?????
The concept that married people live longer is interesting. I'm sure there is some merit to the idea that if you're married there is someone there to nag you about going to the doctor, but I think much larger factors are having the finances of dual incomes and access to an immediate support person.
Surgeries require having a designated person to look after you. Many injuries require driving to somewhere like an emergency room which can be hard to do if you are the one injured. If you're home with the flu, it's hard to tell when it's bad enough to go to the hospital without another person checking on you. And if you pass out it requires another person to find you like that to get medical aid.
You can prop it up as the benefits of marriage, but I think there's a much deeper discussion to be had about how we've built society around marriage as an inevitable conclusion and neglected to build support systems that function outside of romantic pairings.
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they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you